| Stalkers: are they everywhere?!?!
Posted: 4/13/2008 7:35:41 PM |
"at night I put on a patriotic, spandex outfit and fight crime"
Make sure it is YELLOW spandex...we females have a thing for that 
To answer your question: No I don't think there are as many stalkers out there as people claim.
I think, especially with the younger generation, it is an attention getting ploy. They want you to feel sorry for them, sympathize with them.
Most people who have truly had a stalker are scared, and don't usually broadcast it to anyone who will listen. | |
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| Stalkables: they are everywhere!!
Posted: 4/13/2008 7:36:56 PM | Cannot say statistically if there are more of stalkers of one or another gender - I simply don't know. Maybe there are more men after all, because until quite recent times it was more socially acceptable for a man to *pursue*..Some may push it too much. I guess also the definition of a "stalker" varies from person to person. If someone floods your Voicemail with incessant messages - is it stalking or rudeness/nuisance? I guess to me stalker is someone who shows up uninvited everywhere you go, follows you, shows up at your door, "accidentally" meets you at the places you frequent etc. I do not know if unwanted emails/text messages alone technically qualify as stalking..After all, we all get spam/telemarketing calls too  On the subject - I do think that many women at one point of their life have dealt with a guy that just refused to take "no" for an answer. And the more you say "no" the more (illogically from a *normal* person's POV) persistent he may get. Also I agree with that a stalker behavior may come from a sense of superiority associated with certain disorders, it seems. Such person simply refuses to recognize the other person's choice and right to terminate the relationship. Just my observation. | |
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| Stalkers: are they everywhere?!?!
Posted: 4/13/2008 8:49:46 PM | I don't think true stalking is as common as they make it sound. Some women have a guy who contacts them a few times when they didn't really want him to, and suddenly he's their "stalker". Some of them need to feel they're desired that much by at least one or two guys, or have been in the past. And then of course have to relate that story to any new guy they meet. Most of the time it's not a true stalker, just an overly persistent guy who can't take a hint. Considering that a true stalker is going to be potentially lethal to them ultimately, I just don't believe that it happens as much as some of them make it sound (as you said OP it sometimes seems as though every woman one meets has one , or has had one.....  female overdramatism I guess...). | |
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| Ignoring your superiority....
Posted: 4/13/2008 9:15:19 PM | | Well, I think with the internet, it's EASIER to "stalk" people now. I know I HATE IM because the stalker-ish types KNOW when you're on and constantly try to chat. I find it rude more than threatening, but when it gets over into the "why don't you chat with me? are you too good to chat with me" whiny stage, THAT can get scary. Guys are just plain bad at communicating sometimes, and have no idea sometimes that their actions are creepy. | |
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| Stalkers: are they everywhere?!?!
Posted: 4/13/2008 11:09:33 PM | Mr. Bigstuff... Unfortunately, they're everywhere. I think every person has it in them to be a stalker... First it starts off harmless.... You just wonder if they're home... What they're doing... Then you get obsessive with where and who they're with... Woman do it quite often but we're seen as being harmless... Where as if guys do it, we get a little worried that it will lead to violence. I've had many girlfriends who've stalked their boyfriends but we're better at being sneaky...
It's weird... The same person won't stalk all her bfs... It's just certain ones... I've had many boyfriends over the years... However, I found myself stalking 2 out of 20+ ... Couldn't really figure out why.... Just got to a point where you become obsessed with them. However, if you're not a psycho-path... You'll quickly realize you're getting too involved and you'll back off... Girls are usually harmless... It's curiousity gone over board... However, for the truly sick ones... Well... Just watch fatal attraction...
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| Stalkers: are they everywhere?!?!
Posted: 5/28/2008 12:07:45 PM | * 1/3 of 1 % of the USA population has a pilot's license. I am one of them. You will never be superior to me.*
ha ha ha hilarious
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| Stalkers: are they everywhere?!?!
Posted: 5/28/2008 12:14:36 PM | | i've had a stalker type expereince...walking around the house at midnight, watching the house from across the road ( where he moved in!!) lol. i can't understand it personally...if somones not interested...get over it..find somone else... | |
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| Stalkables: they are everywhere!!
Posted: 5/28/2008 12:30:44 PM | LOL
One thing I've noticed (as well):
There is a direct correlation between an individual's particular definition of "stalker" and the amount of paranoia they suffer from.
Now, if you'll excuse me...  | |
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| Stalkables: they are everywhere!!
Posted: 5/28/2008 4:41:41 PM | Exactly. I also agree with the guy who wrote (msg #27):
I don't think true stalking is as common as they make it sound. Some women have a guy who contacts them a few times when they didn't really want him to, and suddenly he's their "stalker". Some of them need to feel they're desired that much by at least one or two guys, or have been in the past. And then of course have to relate that story to any new guy they meet. Most of the time it's not a true stalker, just an overly persistent guy who can't take a hint.
What if the girl never explicitly says 'I'm not interested.' What if she doesn't break it off officially or if they weren't ever going out but were 'friends? /acquaintances?' I think so many women label anyone they don't want to associate with (anymore) as stalkers regardless of what the guy actually does or what his intentions are. They don't stop to ask questions or find out. It's the guys who aren't persistent but go to the extent that the girl is so afraid that she has to contact the police. I'm not talking about a girl who asks a guy to be a bf or who decides to pursue a love interest more quickly to ward off some other guy. The paranoia is unwarranted in most cases. I think the media perpetuates this idea that the guy will become a worse problem than he actually is. | |
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| Stalkers: are they everywhere?!?!
Posted: 5/28/2008 6:05:06 PM | I have noticed this trend amoung female acquiantances. After hearing alot of women complain about stalkers, I started wondering, could it really be possible?
What I have decided is that there is a difference between the legal definition of stalking and what these women are declaring. I think the word stalker in alot of cases is just being used instead of the word clingy or needy. I think they are just referring to guys that aren't getting the hint or guys that are persistant, not actual stalkers.
I do have one friend who actually had a stalker in the legal sense of the word. That was a crazy situation. | |
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| Stalkables: they are everywhere!!
Posted: 5/29/2008 1:43:07 AM | You don't here about the women stalkers, because they aren't as violent, as the male stalkers...There are stalkers "everywhere" it is a psychological disorder, related to a person unable to let go of, mommy or Daddy..the rejection to them feels so severe, that they will do anything, not to feel abandoned... that is what stalking is, "abandonment terror"... think about it, that is the worse thing a "child" could feel
that is, feeling completely abandoned, from the very people who are to protect and love them...and it is that feeling of abandonment, that a stalker feels...and it can send them into violent rages, utter obsessional fantasies, anything to thwart the feeling of being "unloved"
So, to conclude, it is fascinating but, also it is utterly "pathetic" as well...Human beings are an absolute disgrace to the universe and stalkers are good hard evidence of this... | |
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| Stalkables: they are everywhere!!
Posted: 7/7/2008 4:44:11 AM | i had an issue with a stalker which was pretty scary. i met him twice(didnt even kiss) and i told him i just wanted to be his friend which he seemed to agree with. but he then got my name tattoed on his arm, left messages in the paper for me to read, changed his will so if he died id get his money(no i did not ask for him to do that!! ) and when i blocked him and changed my number he got a pal of his to email me heaps of abuse!! so yeah i do think stalkin is more common place today! | |
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| Stalkers: are they everywhere?!?!
Posted: 7/7/2008 4:59:33 AM | But she started hitting on me and we ended up making out in my car followed by a nice handjob. I came on her blazer, she was wearing a pant suit. She never wore that blazer again. She would call all the time every 30 minutes asking where Iwas, what I was doing, and if I had a girlfriend. She was insane!
It's not stalking when you encourage someone. If you have sex with someone, and yes sex is more then just intercourse, then that is encouraging someone and not considered stalking. If you encourage someone to chase you then it's because you like the feeling of having someone mooning after you. You enjoy having your ego stroked , among other things. So much for a "nice guy".
No stalking is not as common as people make it out to be . They just like to brag that they have a stalker because it makes them appear and feel like they are desirable. If someone is going to the cops and taking out a restraining order then yeah I would say then they are really being stalked. Other then that people who claim to have stalkers enjoy stirring up drama. | |
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| Stalkers: are they everywhere?!?!
Posted: 7/7/2008 5:34:38 AM | LaBelleDameSansMerci Nowhere did I say you or all people enjoy having stalkers and encourage people to chase them. I said many people appear to like having their ego stroked by encouraging someone to chase them ,and call that person a stalker , but I did not say all or even most people. I am not really sure why you became offended by my post , but whatever it was I do apologize. | |
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| Stalkers: are they everywhere?!?!
Posted: 7/7/2008 5:41:11 AM | Hi bigstuff,
I've never had any experience of stalkers,so won't comment on that. What I would like to know is why you think you are superior to other normal men.
If you are more intelligent than most others then you most probably got it from your ancestors( I.Q. is 90% hereditary,5% random,and 5% environment). If you have a paticular talent(singing,writing,playing an instrument),all that means is that you are better at that particular thing than most men,and I can almost guarantee they'll be better than you at something.Every one has a different face,but nearly everyone contributes to the race,(humans that is). Being different isn't superior,it's just being a wee bit different. I'm a bit different to normal,but in no way am I superior,and you aren't either. | |
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| Stalkers: are they everywhere?!?!
Posted: 7/7/2008 6:16:02 AM | Stalker
intransitive verb
1 : to pursue quarry or prey stealthily
2 : to walk stiffly or haughtily
transitive verb
1 : to pursue by stalking
2 : to go through (an area) in search of prey or quarry
3 : to pursue obsessively and to the point of harassment
Above are the definitions of stalking. This has happened to me twice in my life and believe me, it is scary.
I think today people throw the word "stalker" around quite liberally. Especially when they are caught in a lie or found to be less than honest in some way. I have never had a case of internet stalking, I am not even sure how you stalk someone on the internet. There have been men who have told me that they read my forum postings as a way to get to know me, which I don't find odd because I do the same. However, sometimes when I have been interested in someone and I have seen something on the internet regard them that I find unappealing I will lose interest. When there has been a confrontation regarding this someone will say "you are stalking me", "no, I am protecting me." Buh bye.
Edit: Come to think of it, I guess I have had two men who decided to "cyber stalk" me, but as creepy as it was, all I had to do was block them. No way is this as scary as the real thing, imagine waking up at 2:00 am and having someone stand outside your bedroom window, now that is stalking. | |
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| Stalkers: are they everywhere?!?!
Posted: 7/7/2008 6:31:55 AM | When people send out mixed messages..get all of what that person is all about ..then back off abruptly........and they have no idea why? Then their might be what some peope call..stalking..when they go by their place to find out if they are ok? ..they don't answer the door..don't answer the phone....
For those who just like playing with peoples emotions...don't send out mixed messages and there will not be as many "stalkers" than they are... | |
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| Stalkers: are they everywhere?!?!
Posted: 7/7/2008 6:51:30 AM | No, stalkers aren't the "normal" experience. In fact, I'd say most people - men and women - haven't had to deal with stalkers.
I think it's the Internet that makes it seem so prevalent. If you took Internet postings as a sample of what's normal and customary, you'd think 90% of women had been abused and 90% had stalkers. If you go out into real life, you'll probably find those numbers significantly lower.
I don't personally know anyone who's really had a problem with a stalker, or who's been the victim of abuse. But I know plenty of men and women on the 'net who complain and whine about both. There's no way to tell who's telling the truth and who's just wants to play 'victim.' | |
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| stalkers are out there...so that we can take out our
Posted: 7/7/2008 8:17:51 AM | The women who have really been stalked, and had their life threatened by a guy, had to put out the whole restraining order, has been followed and harrassed by phone calls for years on end,
had to move and hide their identity for years, has had to change phone numbers several times, have had their lives ripped apart and their well being threatened. They usually don`t brag aout it . It`s not an ego thing. It is terrible.
How they usually will respond is live very reclusive lives, tend not to date much any more, scared of their own shadows, become distrusting of all men, and definitely would
not take the risk of online dating. They would probably hide their pic as well as not put up a real profile. They may play in the forums incognito but that is going to be it.
Yes it happens. I don`t know how common it is, but a true stalker, threatens your safety, harrasses and intentionally goes out to scare you and adversely effect your life, normally culminating in violence due to percieved rejection. Yes folks, it happens. And the real deal is no joke. It is horrid. | |
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| Stalkers: are they everywhere?!?!
Posted: 7/7/2008 10:17:17 AM | Someone who is scared of a stalker would not do such things as putting up a supposed stalkers private email address. To truly be stalked by someone is a terrifying thing and the person who goes through it does not take it lightly. They are very scared of their stalker. They do not do childish things like put up an email address for everyone to see of her or his supposed stalker. That would be aggravating the situation. So you see this is why I call bull on your story.
As for my username , well sorry , but that's off topic. Go start a thread about why people choose the usernames they do if that's something that interest you. | |
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| Stalkers: are they everywhere?!?!
Posted: 7/7/2008 11:20:06 AM |
nearly every girl I've gone out with has had/ is having some kind of experience with a stalker. It's to the point where I'm almost considering it normal.
I think it's more likely that some women are confused about what a stalker actually is. Some women seem to think that a guy calling once or twice to see if she'll change her mind about a breakup constitutes being a stalker. A woman in another thread had made a phone call trying to figure out why the guy she was talking to had switched cell phones - I thought she was a bit paranoid, but someone else in the thread called HER a stalker. I think the term is used WAY too loosely. | |
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| Ignoring your superiority....
Posted: 7/7/2008 12:07:18 PM | Men lie about stalking just as much as women, especially when they get caught with their pants down. Here is a funny story about a guy with an ego problem not a stalking problem.
My friends own a winery and there was a gallery next store. I went in and looked around. The owner was ALL over me! He touched my back and told me how beautiful my pale skin and blue eyes were, etc. He did not know JACK about art and I thought he was a cute if clueless. I gave him my card and he gave me his. He did not know I knew his next store neighbors.
Well, the guy did a series of paintings of me and my friends from the winery saw them. They were dead on replicas of me and the guy put them in the annual town art festival. I went to the festival and the guy's wife was there. She got bent out of shape when she saw me. She said I was her husband's ex-girlfriend and I was "stalking" him! I had only met her husband once and was quite shocked as were my friends. Get this, the guy had been taking pictures of me with a telephoto lens when I was at my friends' winery! The dufus was so STUPID he had the photos on display with the paintings. Can anyone say "projection"?
My friends told the wife off, but the husband left the art festival before it ended. My friends were angry, but I laughed my behind off at the joke of a no talent painter and his dense wife. The couple in question moved out of the town and closed the shop less than a week after the art festival. People are strange. | |
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