| How many other people feel guilty about leaving your pet behind?
Posted: 4/14/2008 1:11:18 PM | OP...
I totally understand...especially if I've been at work all day(and go out in the evening)...in a way; they are the children I never had I suppose. And, I take them as a serious committment.
But, as others said...we've got to have a "life" to. I think there IS a balance. :)
Coco | |
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| How many other people feel guilty about leaving your pet behind?
Posted: 4/14/2008 1:27:33 PM |
don coyote, my dog does not live in a prison. He has a wonderful home and is very loved. Then again, this coming from someone who has their profession listed as "ass model", Enough said. Good luck with that.
of course, the fact that the "ass" is between the ears isn't mentioned | |
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| How many other people feel guilty about leaving your pet behind?
Posted: 4/14/2008 1:29:08 PM | I have two cats, and it's nice because they are low maintenance same age so they play together and torture each other, not really clingy with me (well, one isn't) or needy and don't eat everything you give them, but they are pretty loveable and do wait for me to come home at a certain time of day . I work two jobs now, but hope to be in a full time business soon where most of my days are free and I work shorter hours...I won't get one until I can walk/run it at least twice a day and until I can really spend the time. In my situation I'd have to have the time - the only other solution would be living with someone else so there's always someone home, but even though that'd be great for a dog, I'm not sure it'd be good for me...lol.
That being said, when that finally happens on weekends when I go out (or work) that would be the longest span of time that I'd be gone. And two is actually a good idea, but could be a handful. As much as it'd be tough, I'd train a dog to be alone when need be.
Still, I expect to feel like a jerk everytime I go somewhere - I was raised around dogs and know the sad faces they can give ya when it's time to leave. Ugh. I'm not a softie for much, but animals kill me every time.
OP, you're a good person - you know animals get attached and have feelings, and you feel bad...that's just being human. I do agree tho that most dogs get that way cause they don't get enough (serious) exercise. Most get frustrated if they don't run till they collapse at least once a day. Buy rollerblades and run em ragged a little more...they're less worried what you're doing when they're tired. | |
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| How many other people feel guilty about leaving your pet behind?
Posted: 4/14/2008 1:42:48 PM | Aww! I feel guilty leaving my baby girl behind too! I am lucky to have family living near me, so I'll often drop her off with them if I know I'm going to be out really late or for a long period of time. My mother's dog & my dog are half-sisters & best of friends. I know some people out there will think this is crazy but, when I have to drive away & her big brown eyes are staying at me from the front window, it just breaks my heart!  Dogs are pack animals- I think they need to be around other living creatures. Maybe you could consider adopting a 2nd dog or a cat? | |
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| How many other people feel guilty about leaving your pet behind?
Posted: 4/14/2008 3:36:58 PM | | Thanks again for all the great responses and advice. tampaviachicagof, it doesn't sound crazy at all. I have the exact same situation with my dog looking through the window and he is constantly destroying my blinds. Its hilarious but very sad at the same time. He puts his paws between the blinds and pokes head through them and stares at me all the way down my driveway. | |
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| How many other people feel guilty about leaving your pet behind?
Posted: 4/14/2008 3:45:37 PM | I had a cat for 17 year's and she could think and love and was very human like! She was like my second child. If you can love an animal as much as you do your sister or brother then you have a big heart and no you should not feel bad to leave and go out. Animal's like there alone time as well! | |
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| How many other people feel guilty about leaving your pet behind?
Posted: 4/14/2008 5:33:07 PM | I think that if you relationship with your pet is a major part of your life (which is fine)
It can pretty much be equated to having a young child. That would include round the clock care, sitting services and the expenses involved, limiting and adjusting schedules and travel to the needs of the animal. etc. etc. The only thing is that the animal does not grow up , move away and take care of itself. So it is a very longterm commitment.
So anyone you are going to be dating or bring into your life needs to be aware of this
responsibility and priority. Just ans "kids come first" , "pets come first" to many.
All I know is that if the commitment and care get to the point of not wanting to leave your house, and committing most free time to the animal, and that relationship means eliminating most activities ( like with the person I met) for the benefit of the animal,
I would question if I wanted to be in that sort of relationship.
eg. He asks where I would like to go for my birthday. I tell him a restaurant in the mountains about 45 minutes away. he then wonders how long it would be to get served to eat and rush back. Can we do it in 3 hours? He can`t leave the doggie door open because he doesn`t want the dogs in the walled back yard unattended. ( This is in a quiet, upscale gated community) So he decides we need to stay closer, ( within about a 3 mile radius because he doesn`t like to be that far from his dogs.) We can`t take them with either and do a picnic because if we go somplace wild, they might get bit by something or eat a weed and die. We can`t take them along on a leash because the boy marks everything and people get mad and fights with other dogs ( which may have a disease) etc.etc. etc. If it is like this, it can really limit life. | |
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| How many other people feel guilty about leaving your pet behind?
Posted: 4/14/2008 5:59:22 PM | Dogs have always been a part of my life. They bought my house and put my kids through private school. I have hunted them, showed them, ran them in agility trials trained them for police departments, the disabled, closed down digusting puppy mills and never once had any dog sleep outside in the cold. Right now I have 4 laying around me and one recovering from the loosing his manhood.
A well adjusted dog does not have seperation anxiety. They wait and sleep for you to come home. They dont even eat or drink. I am home now...just threw the ball for the retrievers cuddled the hairless ones and everyone is fast asleep. They are dogs. Content and dreaming about bones.
Too bad the bones were their sister who died last month of cancer and they dug her up...they are dogs!!
Eww I think I need to squeeze an anal gland...Mange is stinky tonight. | |
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| How many other people feel guilty about leaving your pet behind?
Posted: 4/14/2008 6:40:20 PM | Don is correct. I am a dog trainer. You can feel guilty if you would like to but your dog is sleeping comfortably while you are gone.
I watch the Dog whisperer, and he says that dogs live in the present and don`t really get all gummed up with the feelings that we actually put on them. He is probably just happy to see you
Well it is nice to know that there are some good people who really understand relationships with their DOGS!
OP ~
don coyote, my dog does not live in a prison. He has a wonderful home and is very loved. Then again, this coming from someone who has their profession listed as "ass model", Enough said. Good luck with that
Thank you for all of your childish, comments, Yes I know you were a failed bully in grade school and have to unleash your petty opinions here, against poor old me
OPie please , thank you for visiting my profile, but I ain't into DUDES! STOP e-mailing me, it was fun the first two but now you are borderline *freaky*, and Take me off your favorites cause it makes you look like a stalker!
Yes I am an Ass model or was it Model Ass? I don't know or care, obviously you can carry it with you for as long as it makes you feel superior, But my dog is way Happier than yours!
Don Quixote
Jousting with
the pet obsessed
one at a time | |
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| How many other people feel guilty about leaving your pet behind?
Posted: 4/14/2008 6:44:17 PM | | When i was a kid i had a German Shepard pup. He was about 8 months old when he saw his sister get run over and killed by a car. He lived 14 years after that and until the day he died when he would cross the street he would look both ways. No one taught him that. He was just a yard dog. It did prove something to me. The rest of the years he lived he never forgot what happened to his sister and he didn't want whatever that big loud thing was that killed his sister to do the same to him. When my dad buried her my pup stood there cried. I learned right there and then animals grieve. | |
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| How many other people feel guilty about leaving your pet behind?
Posted: 4/14/2008 6:52:57 PM | | Yes eddie same concept with an invisible fence or any bad memory that happens during a puppys development. Pups must not have harmful things such as children pulling tails, large dogs attacking them, cars running over littermates or they will be scarred for life. I have rescued dogs from shelters that have never touched grass and will never be "ok" Some dogs have been frightened by horses and can never be around them again. But if raised in a protected environment where no bad things happen during those developmental months then the dog will be well adjusted and socialized. | |
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| How many other people feel guilty about leaving your pet behind?
Posted: 4/14/2008 7:01:30 PM | ok, i totally get where you're coming from. and in order to deal w/ that myself i got another dog. they get along well and keep each other company. they would both rather be around me, but when i'm gone or busy they snuggle w/ each other and it's a good deal. i think that's nicer for the dog so they're not alone so much. also, it's nice to have a dog somewhat older than the other dog so it can help you train the younger one. then you can just sort of cycle through dogs when the older one passes on and the younger one becomes the older dog.
a warning though, since you obviously care so much about your pets, if you do get another dog, you will probably end up being a two dog person b/c once the older dog passes, the younger one will have a hard time dealing w/ it. my sheepdog had only known life w/ my pug for 10 years until he died and she was a mess. she lost about 20 lbs and moped and wouldn't eat. i got a puppy about 9 months later and she perked up a lot. having someone around to boss around and show the ropes really helped her loneliness.
also, i think you're a nice guy and that anyone that judges this doesn't understand basic humanity and empathy, has a serious superiority problem about being human (we are animals ourselves after all), and probably suffers from lds... | |
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| How many other people feel guilty about leaving your pet behind?
Posted: 4/14/2008 7:08:12 PM | | I feel so guilty when I don't come home and stay with someone. My dog is always there for me and give me unconditional love. She follows me from room to room. Just one nite not coming home makes me feel so bad because I know she is wondering what happened to me because I almost always come home. I trained my shih tzu to use potty pads so if I'm not home she can still potty on them. I am going to get another dog so she will have a companion when I am not home. | |
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| How many other people feel guilty about leaving your pet behind?
Posted: 4/14/2008 10:44:28 PM | I've loved and had the privilege of having shared space with dogs all my life and it's very difficult when I don't have one. My last was a magnificent great dane. He was like a 180 pound puppy. When I first brought him home from the shelter I could hold him in my two hands. As time went by, I'd sit at home and watch him grow LOL. He was amazing. The most gentle creature you could ever imagine. At that time, I had a little two bedroom home in the hills. There wasn't much backyard to speak of but he used to love running up and down the hill that was my backyard. There wasn't much flat area.
One night the poor guy had an epileptic seizure. This was in the middle of the night. I woke up and thought there was an earthquake but it was him, lying on his side scratching grooves in the wall and frothing at the mouth. I managed to carry him downstairs, into the car and down to the vet at 2:00 in the morning. She took EKGs, blood tests etc. and confirmed the epilepsy and gave me some Dilantin and told me it might take months to stabilize the dosage.
After about a month, he had another seizure (luckily while I was home) and I took care of him. But, since I lived alone at the time and, at that time, worked out of an office, I couldn't be there all day to watch him. I was terrified at the thought of him running up and down the hill at home and having another seizure and falling down the hill and breaking a bone or something and I was terrified at that prospect. So, I made the decision (and it broke my heart) to give him to a dane breeder I knew who, with her husband, were both retired and stayed home all day. I could watch him and take good care of him. But when I finally took him down there, if you wanted to see a grown man crying his eyes out, that was me the day I left him there. I've felt guilty as hell about that ever since all the while knowing I did it out of love for him, it didn't make it any easier. He lived for eight more years after that and stayed relatively healthy under their watchful eyes. I'd call every week to check up on him and I got photos and constant reports so I know he was well taken care of but that didn't help much on an emotional level. Still doesn't
When we take in a pet, we are so incredibly privileged to share time with them, they deserve the very best we can give them. Well, that's my sob story but, to the OP, I know exactly how you feel 'cause I do too. | |
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| How many other people feel guilty about leaving your pet behind?
Posted: 4/15/2008 2:48:44 AM | | Well, I am so glad that many people were able to relate to what I was saying. I had thought about getting another dog before this post but I always thought I would have 2 dogs missing me and staring out the window at me. I think it is a good idea though and it will be the best thing to do. At least he will have a companion. I have been through a lot with my dog. He was born with a deformity in his back legs and I give him an arthritis pill everyday to hope and avoid as little pain when he gets older. (vet's advice) He runs around just as good as any other dog and I hope that continues as he gets older. He also came to me with a severely bad ear infection in which I treat everyday. I have taken him to 3 different vets and they all say he probably will have it for life and that all I can to is treat it. With the exception of ONE moron who I wont even acknowledge anymore who keeps posting on here, thanks again for everyones posts. | |
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| How many other people feel guilty about leaving your pet behind?
Posted: 4/15/2008 8:08:25 AM | A well adjusted dog does not have seperation anxiety. They wait and sleep for you to come home. They dont even eat or drink. I am home now...just threw the ball for the retrievers cuddled the hairless ones and everyone is fast asleep. They are dogs. Content and dreaming about bones.
Pups must not have harmful things such as children pulling tails, large dogs attacking them, cars running over littermates or they will be scarred for life.
Question; the OP mentioned he rescued a boxer.
(a) Are boxers by the nature of their breed any more tempermental or attention-needy than other breeds?
(b) Is it generally a good idea for a single person often away from home to rescue a dog, given that the dog may have had shaky behavior development before you rescued it?
No question it is noble to accept a rescued dog like this, I'm not being critical, but I wouldn't accept a dog into my home if I believed I couldn't give it the attention it required due to circumstances out of my control. Hell I have sympathy to these creatures, theoretically I'd take in any stray animal   but realistically I cannot do that. | |
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| How many other people feel guilty about leaving your pet behind?
Posted: 4/15/2008 8:26:29 AM | | bikeman, I never said that I was away from home a lot. In fact, that is why I feel guilty at times. I do work a lot but I take him with me most of the time for a few hours a day. What I was trying to say is that on weekends I do try and get out a bit and it is the only time that I am away from him for an extended period of time. He is so used to me being around or taking him for rides so that when I am gone for awhile he goes crazy and runs around the house when I come home as if I deserted him. I'm sure its silly on my part, I was just curious if other people felt the same is all. I am very qualified to own this dog and spend plenty of time with him. I get your point though and I would not have pets if I could not take care of them. | |
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| How many other people feel guilty about leaving your pet behind?
Posted: 4/15/2008 8:32:34 AM | You are projecting your guilt onto the dog, and he has a face that would look depressed on a good day, lol. You are worried too much about a small amount of time away from him.
I am here all day. I do not spend quality time with the dogs, they lay around sleeping, occasionally get up to eat, drink, go out, bark at the mailman, otherwise they act like they are comatose. They are storing up energy for when the kids come home at which time they go nuts.
As long as you play with the dog when you are home he will be fine, and have you considered getting another animal? A very small dog like a weiner dog or Yorkie or something? I had to put one down about 3 years ago. I had planned to get another smaller dog because the one left behind seemed depressed. She was like a totally new girl when my son stumbled on the blue heeler. They are pack animals so a second dog would really solve your problems.
Saw your repost. There was someone interviewed on the news recently. Mineral Wells Texas used to be known back in like the 30s and 40s for its mineral water. The wealthy went there to drink the water and probably bathe in it as well. They have recently started selling it commercially and it is probably available online.
One woman started drinking it to try to improve some physical condition and then she started putting some in her dog's water. This older arthritic dog that has had had problems getting around for quite a while, is running around like a puppy. You might want to google Mineral Wells Mineral Water. | |
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| How many other people feel guilty about leaving your pet behind?
Posted: 4/15/2008 9:19:30 AM | OMG, My dog Louie gives me such guilt when I go out!!!
He gets all mushy and pathetic looking!!
I swear he understands when I'm making plans to go out.
He has some major seperation anxiety, but he is getting better. I do admit there are sometimes when I will stay home with him instead of venturing out to do something, I feel bad for my little man.
So, OP, I can understand what you go thru. My dog is soo happy when I'm home with him. He has like 15 squeaky toys, and he is soo affectionate, he has a thing for going in my garbage pale, lol, but outside of that he is wonderful!!
If it was up to my dog I would never leave the house. 
You sound like you treat him well, so TRY not to feel soo guilty.
JJ  | |
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| How many other people feel guilty about leaving your pet behind?
Posted: 4/16/2008 5:52:59 AM | Bikeman--single people make fantastic adopters. They have the time to devote to adjusting the dog. The only problem is when the new baby comes...thats where I really make my money. Having an old dog and new baby get along can be a real challenge.
Most rescues were in bad homes and lack the social skills needed to relate well to other dogs. A one on one relationship with a new owner is a perfect environment. Introducing another dog takes away from the bond that the dog has with the owner and the 2 dogs will form a "pack" and the owner will be excluded and be Alpha. Not the best for a rescue dog that has not had a secure life. They really need stability. I have a contract that my families sign that no new dog will be introduced within the first year.
All of these suggestions of get another dog are crazy unless he wants his best friend to start peeing in his house out of jealousy and chewing the sofa not to mention never play with dad again because the pup is way more fun!!
Boxers, Beagles, Bloodhounds, Basenjis and Mutts are only as needy as you want them to be. I can make all of my dogs cry an howl for me when I leave....if I wanted to:)
Oh and people loose 40lbs of skin cells over their life time so to really stop cleaning up a mess I got a divorce. | |
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