| I give up...
Posted: 4/13/2008 4:26:20 PM | I read your entire post and the great majority of it was about you talking about how wonderful you are and all the wonderful things you do. If she was so interested in you you would not be in here complaining about her. If you don't like my response, well tough because this is an open forum and if you didn't want people answering your question then you should of never posted.
1. Morning! About us. I'm not ready emotionally 2 go fast as u seem. I cant
commit. 2day i need 2b alone. No talk 2day pls im overwhelmed
2. I thought was ready 4 something more peers but now i know im not ready for
anyone. I wont change mind on this one. Thank you for amazing company
3. I dont want to talk bout it by phone or face to face call me a coward im sorry
4. You did nothing wrong. Im not ready 4u. Im retarded emotionally. Serious and
sadly. makes me ashamed. I want it but i dont FEEL it
Sounds like what you yourself wrote here that she is not very interested in you. Women are not scared of strong men they are annoyed by whiney men who like to toot their own horn. Next time don't expect so much out of just a couple of dates. | |
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| I give up...
Posted: 4/13/2008 4:28:32 PM | | 1 bad apple and ok there may be afew more...KEEP your eyes open, go in with listening ears...notice things and dont let your heart fall in too quickly.Theres plenty of us out here who WANT a good man like you. You have to kiss many frogettes to get to the princessbride.It doesnt come FAST! slow and steady wins the race and good things come to those who wait I assure you! it WILLhappen if you want it to but be careful.date many and then figure out who wins the second round. You ll know.Keep the faith! Dont shut love out because one woman wasnt ready. She should ve told you up front where she was at or maybe she got overwhelmed by some one SO good as you and couldnt believe it was real. Her loss. Move on, forget it and plunge back into the deep end! Everything worthwhile takes guts and giving your all. You know what thats like. same deal different scenario! Again dont let a few bad pickins be the generalization of the whole lot.HAVE fun with this.Dating is supposed to be fun. Dont take things so seriously and it will all fall into place! | |
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| I give up...
Posted: 4/13/2008 5:15:35 PM | Thank you for your military service. I have a couple questions for you, just for clarification.
In your profile, you state:
I am a Marine, I retired after 17 years, I went to IRAQ 4 times the last time
was for 22 months. I was assigned to a Recon Unit, my MOS was 0352 and I
busted my butt to look after the guys who were assigned to my unit.
Whilke MOS 0352 is Antitank Assault Guided Missileman, the Recon would be MOS 0321. Why weren't you given a new rating?
Which unit were you with during your last deployment (22 months)?
The 4 deployments to Iraq. Since the current crisis? That's the implication I get. We just had the 5 year anniversary, if we include the preinvasion deployment, still less than 5 1/2 years. And with a single 22 month deployment, it doesn't make sense to me.
As a disclaimer, I never served in the military. I don't want to come across as accusatory, just saw a few inconsistencies and would like to get it cleared up.
Thank you. | |
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| I give up...
Posted: 4/13/2008 5:17:48 PM | AlThough I will have to admit you do come across about Whiney I will have to disagree with those who stated this women "used" you for material things...Giving someone 5.00 exra dollars for groceries does not wwarrant someone using you..Consider that a good deed done for day! it does appear this women was obviously interested however obvious by her text she felt this may have been going too fast for her. Not sure if you've noticed but there are many on here that have too much extra baggage and have no clue what they want which I suppose is fine for them but I'd steer clear of this kind as you seem to appear to be well rounded andknow what you want....
Don't let this experience result in a personal reflection of who you are, *hit happens... | |
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| I give up...
Posted: 4/13/2008 5:35:55 PM | Maybe she just wanted some food and a free dinner.
har har.
She sent you all those texts... did you respond to any of them???
If you responded to her (in general conversation, not just to the texts) like you responded to some of us, she may have felt you were always on the defensive and that's a turn off to some people.
I don't really see why you'd give up just after a few dates with one woman. Just because you spend two days with someone doesn't mean you're in it for the long haul. Seems like you maybe have given her a vibe that you wanted commitment and that IS way too soon.
But yeah, if I were you I'd just give up; this was SUCH a HORRIBLE experience. | |
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| I give up...
Posted: 4/13/2008 5:41:34 PM | I think firstly when you write and ask for opinions you have to be aware that you wont get all positive responses. If you want people to soothe your troubled brow and say there there, then it wont happen on here. Sure you may get some sympathy but not all the time. I think after reading your post that the lady that responded straight away was on the money. Your nothing special (and im not bein unkind here!) Alot of men look after women and treat them kindly and take care of their children. There are no medals for this. Many women are single parents and get no recognition for that!
I think this woman didnt feel the atraction and decided against it, its as simple as that. Alot of women would take advantage of a guy willin to buy dinner and stuff but no shes been straight up with you.
Not all women are so honest. I admire her for her honesty. Personally I think if you wanna give up on women give up on em. Its your choice. | |
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| I give up...
Posted: 4/13/2008 5:42:57 PM | tI sure understand where your coming from. Every time I think I find someone who is looking for the same thing as me, they all of a sudden have financial issues, medical issues, children issues, etc.
Don't give up, cause there are women who truly want someone like you. Look for the ones who are stable mentally and emotionally. lol. I know thats hard too and if I could find one who is attractive, kind hearted, caring, understanding, funny, etc. and wants a long term relationship, I would be optimistic lol.  | |
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| I give up...
Posted: 4/13/2008 5:56:24 PM | Sounds like she is very immature
thank you for serving your country!
i served mine, don't believe in war, but soldiers do not start them
you sound like a very good man, and no doubt you will find someone | |
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| I give up...
Posted: 4/13/2008 6:03:24 PM | | OP, I think it's a red flag that this woman was accepting money from you and inviting you into her house (did you say she had children there?) on the first date. Doesn't sound like she has healthy boundaries. You sound like a pretty independent guy who has his act together. I'd opt for a woman that was a little more independent who could appreciate a good man without taking him to the cleaners. | |
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| I give up...
Posted: 4/13/2008 6:37:25 PM |
two dates in two days and you wanted the next day too?
WAY TOO FAST
WAY TOO MUCH
WAY TOO SOON
There's no rush.. and getting to really know someone takes time... I suspect you scared her being too clingy, moving too fast, and expecting too much (as in time and intimacy)
Couldn't have said it better myself. She might have seen that as clingy especially IF you overdid it on the calling (hopefully not).
Sounds to me like she DOES know what she wants. You're just disappointed because it's not you. No big deal. Not her fault. Not yours. Plentyoffish out there.
She had a change of heart, it happens all the time. Just move on and meet someone else. PLEASE don't be the guy that can't take no or an answer. Walk away while she still respects you.
Just be happy that she actually TOLD you that she wasn't interested. You're lucky she didn't just stop answering calls and drop off the face of earth.
Good luck in your search. DON'T give up, she's out there. | |
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| I give up...
Posted: 4/13/2008 6:43:00 PM | | I don't know enough about how your exes perceived you to answer the first question. Second question: no, women love a responsible man. There, I answered your two questions. But I'm not going to say more for fear that you'll reprimand me for saying what you don't want to hear. Maybe you scared women off by demanding that they not make snappy replies, even if they were sincere? | |
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| I give up...
Posted: 4/13/2008 6:44:29 PM | Like someone else mentioned sounded like she could have wanted free food.  Also you only give us her side to the texts.. where are your responses? You know what they say there are three sides to every story... his, her and the truths.
Stacey | |
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| I give up...
Posted: 4/13/2008 6:52:14 PM | Have to back the op up on the military career. Glamb, why do you care????? It is none of your business unless you are trying to stir something up.
Give it a rest please. | |
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| I give up...
Posted: 4/13/2008 7:15:59 PM | "yeah, go'head. Give up. That will teach'em. All those women out there with lives of their own, problems of thier own, ways of their own. Who do they think they are, not making you the the center of everything after a ride to the store and 5$ worth of grocries."
haha...what a brilliant response....love it....
Ravinmad, I'm sure you are a genuine fella, but IMO you need to take a look at your responses to the posters you don't agree with...there in lies your problem I suspect. Perhaps a little arrogant and too sensitive to criticism - even when you've asked for advice.... You might find you're actually quite hard work.... | |
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| I give up...
Posted: 4/13/2008 7:18:10 PM | What do you do to spark and amplify the emotion of attraction
while you're on a date? | |
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| I give up...
Posted: 4/13/2008 7:43:06 PM | | im with u mate on this its a waste of time unless u are hell good looking make heaps of money u dont stand a chance on here | |
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| I give up...
Posted: 4/13/2008 7:59:13 PM | Sweetie, gotta tell you if I were half my age, and not already in love, I'd snatch you up!!
Just be patient (and picky), she's out there.
Hugz | |
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| I give up...
Posted: 4/13/2008 8:00:48 PM | Ravvinmad, judging from your posting and your profile you seem to be a very good guy, and one very worthy of being loved and wanted.
The woman might be a shallow-hearted, cruel player, she might not be over a bf, she might have gotten scared (by her own actions, letting someone close to her too fast). Whichever it is, as a woman I feel certain that it had nothing to do with you. Sometimes one cannot say why one falls for one guy, and not for another. It often has nothing at all to do with their qualities, more with little compatibilities. For me personally, I react negatively to spending much time together right away. I need time to think, find myself, to think about the guy and to miss him. In the future, try letting women miss you a bit - not playing with them, but maybe setting up meet ups with 1-3 days in between. Some are slow-burners, even if their first actions do not reveal this.
As said, you sound like a champ. One thing in your profile, the bit about a woman being blind so she doesn't see the colour of your skin: my personal opinion: Black is beautiful, - all colours of the skin are beautiful, as are all eye colours and hair colours.
Best of luck,
Pale-skinned FemaleWoman - with similar kinds of experiences to yours, just with men. | |
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| I give up...
Posted: 4/13/2008 8:47:54 PM | Oh and isn't a 22 month deployment a violation of the dwell time? Only way to do that would be to have a deployment end and you volunteer to do another. Nope. I know a guy over there who's been promised home 3 or 4 times. He doesn't get it: he's been there since '05. The government seems to make different rules for different peeps. We don't know OPie's situation, and to start on him when it's in no way part of what he asked is, to say the least, non-productive. It's also known as Thread-jacking. Cool it.  | |
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| I give up...
Posted: 4/13/2008 8:56:47 PM | | Don't be like those men that hate women because of what one did to them--not fair to the rest of us. Her loss--not yours. Don't make all other women pay her bills. | |
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| I give up...
Posted: 4/13/2008 9:02:01 PM | You mention that you seem to keep getting women that don't know what they want. This reminds me of my thoughts a few years ago, when that movie came out titled, "What Women Want." I said then, "That is the dumbest premise ever for a movie, because women don't know themselves, what they want!
But it really sounds like you have a real head case on your hands...she doesn't sound very stable. Forget about her and keep fishing. While most women don't know what they want, you can find one more stable than this one. | |
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| I give up...
Posted: 4/13/2008 9:16:28 PM | | I was in the Army myself. Last time I checked you can retire early as 15 years in any of the branches, you don't get full-retirement benefits unless you are in for 20+, but just leave the issue at that. Getting into a heated debate is obviously sidetracking everyone from the original posting and it's not really helping much of anyone... | |
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| I give up...
Posted: 4/13/2008 9:25:02 PM | | The only thing you did wrong IMO was..... smother her,, and mother her! My god man, you paid for her groceries on the first date? I realize that it was only $5.00, but that is above and beyond the requirements of a first date. Next time try to move S-L-O-W-L-Y........ try a coffee shop and get a decaf latte. | |
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| I give up...
Posted: 4/13/2008 9:32:54 PM | Lets see, first date - - - hours at her house - - -
Next night second date, again hours at her house - - -
give the woman a break - - - - give her time to breath and
reflect and come to understand her feelings and desires and make sure that she
is thinking maturely - - - -
3 long dates in 3 days is not taking it easy or slow - - that is going fast - - -
Her text messages are from her confusion of her emotions and desires and reality
Jim P. | |
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