| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 6/4/2008 7:01:00 PM | You'd be surprised how many people have problems.....I don't talk to any 16 year olds...but the ones who contact me and attempt those conversations at the start, range from their 20s all the way through their 60s, so, for some, it 's part of their routine.
I usually tell them they can have any fantasies they wish, but that I'm not interested in hearing about them. If they don't "hear" me, I'm an expert at block and delete.
I just tell folks not to be upset...after all, we know what they're gonna be missing....the very thing they are going about in the wrong way to get.....
KK | |
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| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 6/4/2008 7:12:44 PM | I think it all boils down to how much it becomes part of pre-meet conversations really.
A certain amount of it can be healthy I think, especially if there is some attraction there, but if it starts to dominate, or if one person wants to talk about it to the exclusion of all else, then really it doesn't bode well for a well-balanced future relationship. | |
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| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 6/5/2008 4:10:48 AM | My personal favourite of an intro line was "do you like young and hung?".... he was 19.
Now seriously...... that is just funny when you are 47.....
Sex talk has to be handled right.... and yes, in the real world, we see it too. If you are observant in a club, you can tell who is there just for sex, and who is there to really find someone. They may not be so verbal about it, but a guy staring at your chest half the nite, and never coming up to talk to you...yup, you know what he wants. It is just a different "language" in the real world than online. | |
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| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 6/5/2008 5:46:40 AM | It never ceases to amaze me how much the young ones THINK they know....And, of course, there are those who want us "old" ones to "teach" them.......They haven't a clue as to what "sharing" is....
KK | |
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| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 6/5/2008 9:39:27 AM | I don't send pictures..not private ones. It was a joke for men that want to talk about it. I have without really thinking, jokingly said "I'll need proof before I even consider it". Assmuing not many pople are that brave. Well...are men willing to share or what??? I'm a nurse. Once you've worked in the emergency department, lots of things seem humorous that others just don't get. It's true though...a picture speaks a thousand words, the fact that a man is WILLING to send it...says a lot more. Good for a laugh if you're in a lighthearted mood.
Seriously, I find that men who go that route are looking for cyber sex (how pathetic is that?) My least favorite internet question is "do you have a web cam?" the answer is NO!!! | |
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| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 6/5/2008 1:49:54 PM | | Just enjoy online meeting and dating.Once you hit 6-0 there won't even be horny guys for you! So enjoy while you are still young and wild! | |
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| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 6/6/2008 6:28:32 AM | Boricua:
Who the hell are YOU kidding? I have the funniest picture sent to me by a guy in his sixties...he's standing in the shower...pot belly and all...and the shower curtain ALMOST covers his private parts (which were pretty much hidden by his belly anyway.)
He must have thought he still has what it takes, but, as the recipient of the picture, I could only
As far as "horny" guys are concerned, I've been approached by many, and I don't honestly see any reduction in interest there. I think the young just THINK it all stops when ya get over the hill....
Knittinkitten | |
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| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 6/6/2008 6:58:48 AM | I have to agree. I think you need to set your boundaries from the start and if you feel uncomfortable at any point during the conversation,you need to tell the person.
At that point they can either stop and respect your wishes ,and realize that you are on here looking for someone that is willing to treat you with respect and work into the relationship,or they can move on to someone who is seeking more of the same thing that they want. Really,the mystery and beauty of a new relationship is the anticipation of things to come.
I really have a issue with cheap men who think that they don't want to waste their time or money buying you a drink,meal,or a cup of coffee if they aren't going to end up in bed with you quickly. I make enough to buy my own flowers,pay for my own meals and certainly for a cup of coffee. If they can't afford to date,they shouldn't be on a dating site. Finding someone that you are truely compatible with and who's time you share and enjoy is priceless. Love doesn't have a price tag,(unless you're working the streets.)
Men should talk to and treat women with the same respect that they would want someone to have for their own mother, sister, or daughter. | |
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| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 6/7/2008 12:19:05 AM | No. I don't think so. And I don't bring it up it up unless it seems appropriate.
But keep this in mind are you looking for a monk?
Is it appropriate for a woman to be on a dating site to find a man that is celibate? | |
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| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 6/7/2008 12:20:45 AM | | I am very open about that before meeting. It is a way to see if u will click sexually. I am talking about likes and dislikes, not what I want to do to someone or them to me. That is disrespectful. | |
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DazzyB
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Joined: 10/9/2006
Msg: 288 | |
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| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 6/7/2008 4:03:26 AM | It IS disrespectful, and I have told some who emailed me you should no more talk about such things here as you to a stranger out in the world or in your workplace.
If you've noticed it's in some of the profiles. Those that describe wanting someone who is " naughty" and all the hugging and kissing they want to do. One man even described a particular type of sexual act he liked, in his PROFILE!!!
I don't even get into a conversation with those men and if one happens to email me I respond politely that I'm sure we have little or nothing in common. When they mention in their profiles anything that leans in that direction that is a red flag.
I avoid the men with such profiles. They are obviously looking for the type of woman I am not. | |
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| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 6/7/2008 7:02:11 AM |
And I don't bring it up it up unless it seems appropriate. Ya appropriate It isn't appropriate to 'bring it up' when first meeting a new person. For me that is. I ain't settling for a desperate jerk who probably is celibate because of his apparent bad social skills.
But keep this in mind are you looking for a monk?
No idiot.
Is it appropriate for a woman to be on a dating site to find a man that is celibate?
No what isn't appropriate is the load of bullshit I am reading. Again, if you are looking for sex, then to to the sex ads. This site says "Social Dating" not "Desperate Men Looking for Desperate Women For Sex". | |
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| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 6/7/2008 7:04:59 AM |
someone who is " naughty" and all the hugging and kissing they want to do. One man even described a particular type of sexual act he liked, in his PROFILE!!! Oh my GOd! I think I've seen a few of those.
Usually the desperados and sex addicts are deterred from me when they read my profile. But the few ones who do not read it and who do not get it get blocked. | |
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| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 6/7/2008 7:13:37 AM | Its been my experience on either hand that thru extensive chat...sex ends up at some point a topic....now only at the wishes of the female have I talked dirty and actually I find it wierd and a waste of time specially on the key board...lol.I have been asked without proding what I liked and its awfull hard to stay within the respect realm...specially when telling a woman what I like.Im a bit ol fashion and would rather wait and see...I know how to treat a woman and have never had a compliant...have a great day!...Chas. | |
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| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 6/7/2008 7:30:14 AM | it should make you feel uncomfortable.
there are some guys on here who have respect for a beautiful woman like yourself and there are some who don't. you are dealing with those who don't.
just a note, the guys who are doing this are doing it because they have insecurities and are trying really hard to feel good about themselves by talking to you this way.
just say no thanks and move on.
i recently had a woman send me her phone number and ask me if i want to have phone sex. i emailed back and said sure "WHERE DO I PUT IT IN". | |
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| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 6/7/2008 7:36:20 AM |
...the guys who are doing this are doing it because they have insecurities and are trying really hard to feel good about themselves by talking to you this way. Yah, that is for sure. They come off as very very desperate and insecure to say the very least. They need a serious psychology session.
...i recently had a woman send me her phone number and ask me if i want to have phone sex. You see, these are the kinds of women who make the rest of us look bad. Was she gonna charge you? These women look as insecure as the men who do it. | |
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| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 6/7/2008 7:40:02 AM | If you get to the point where we are talking there is a story behind the curves. I will share it with the right person.
I think that was the part attracting the jerks. | |
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| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 6/7/2008 7:48:30 AM | I agree with you. Some guys are too preoccupied with it that it becomes a red flag. I am not a prude and sometimes I let it go with some young guys but some men who are much older can't even talk about anything else and it is not very encouraging. I am put off! Here is someone in my field for instance and not one word about it except the claim that people come to POF to talk about sex.
Sometimes I am on the verge of meeting someone and he talks about nothing? Well, the meeting is definitely off. It means that is all he wants from me...
I can understand when you have known each other for a while, I will let it slide. Flirting is ok but someone who just contacted you and tells you that your profile is too conservative is a real turn off esp when he starts telling you about how horny he is.
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| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 6/7/2008 8:26:46 AM | OP....
That's a total turn off for me. I'd like there to be some mystery about sex. I've had guys tell me every detail of what they like to do, how they would "rock my world," and ask me what my fantasy is. They've asked what I'm wearing, asked me to stand up and parade around for them on cam, and so on.
What ever happened to letting a relationship evolve? Actually, if someone is talking like that before you even meet, chances are there is not going to be a relationship because their focus is on what's in their pants instead of what's in their head or their heart.
Sharzi | |
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| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 6/14/2008 9:03:00 AM | Fibus:
I wanted to comment to you about some posts on here, but, when I tried to message you, it told me that you were not accepting messages from far away....Heavens, some day even YOU may want to winter in Florida...it's not really all that far away...I think if you contact me, I will be able to reply?
Sincerely,
Knittin Kitten
(I'm not a foreigner ) | |
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| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 6/14/2008 9:05:49 AM | | Yeah, I think this is an appropriate topic only once you've become fairly close. Like when it looks like one or the other of you might be contemplating marriage and sexual compatability is set to become a huge issue. | |
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| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 6/14/2008 9:17:04 AM | Yes, I think it is a great idea talking about what is going to or not going to happen on your first or second or third date !!! If you are not in a position to discuss the matter I would bring that up front on the first phone call and lay down the rules. Sometimes, what happens, happens.....    | |
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