| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 1/11/2009 4:35:05 PM | | Most women hate this sort of crude behavior, unfortunately, most men just dont get it! There are so many attention seeking females on here that will give them everything they want , why do they still come after those who dont like skanky behavior? And I just love being told that I am a prude! lmao! | |
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| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 1/11/2009 8:45:24 PM | you are talking to a married or involved person that is using you for their sexual fantacy - total waste of time, move on now!! 90% chance they will not meet you, but if they do it will just be for sex - as soon as they can get away from their partner.
whats the point? reduse your online time and push for a first meet asap. once you have met and then if sexual tension builds, have a much fun messaging about sex as you want | |
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| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 1/12/2009 10:07:31 AM | | I think you're right, gypsy. Not only disrespectful, it kinda kills the mood. Sex ain't gonna happen until you meet, look at each other's bodies and into each other's eyes anyway. Maybe some guys are so horny they don't even care about the "whos", "whys" or "wherefores". They should just masturbate. | |
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| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 1/14/2009 12:09:49 AM | If it bothers you then tell the person it makes it uncomfortable..
Let's be real... Sexual incompatibility can be an issue. It's better you know what each other like and dislike before you get to that point. | |
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Kixxie
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Joined: 12/4/2008
Msg: 382 | |
| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 1/14/2009 1:42:28 AM | | No matter how much I like the conversation I'm having with a man, when he starts turning the conversation towards sexual questions when we havent even met yet, I tend to lose interest in the guy and 9 times out of 10, the meeting wont take place.. | |
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| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 1/14/2009 8:16:33 AM | I have to agree with Beerbag here . I am a woman who has had the experience of dating 2 men in the past that suffered from ED issues . Now I kind of in a round about way ask a future man if everything is in working order before I meet them . I am not crude about it and say " Can ya get wood cause I like being hammered ?" although sometimes I wish I was brave enough to ask that .
I want someone I am sexually compatible with and don't want to waste months of my time to only end up in another "Oral only " relationship . I like knowing right off the bat what to expect . I am a woman who is not ashamed to say I am looking for a relationship that at some point will involve LOTS of sex .
I have found a lot of times when men bring this up ,it is because of a sexless past relationship and they don't want another one of those . I will say there are ways to ask those questions that doesn't come across as crude or feeling like all they are looking for is jerk off material . I have dealt with those type to and nip those in the bud . Two adults should be able to talk about sex in an adult way . | |
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| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 1/14/2009 9:47:56 AM | Sugah - Ya took the words outta my mouth...I can't agree with you more! I treat the sexual conversation (polite and generally informative) as being an important part of whether or not I want to get to know that person well enough to consider a "relationship", and, as you said, sexual intimacy is definitely an important part of that consideration.
Fortunately, women like us are pretty muich able to discern between the "types" you described, who knows, maybe with age DOES come a bit of maturity....I'm comfortable with myself as I am...I can see you are, too.
Fondly,
KK | |
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| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 1/15/2009 3:33:57 AM | Don't assume that because we find sexual content conversation prior to a meet to be offensive means we don't find sex quite enjoyable and expect it in a relationship. Quite the opposite for many of us.
The problem for me has been, the few times the conversation has headed there, the man gets too deep into the conversation and too graphic. Don't think I did not try to head it off.
I hope very much to find a man with whom I am compatible and that includes some wonderful bedroom time.   
edit..................lots of wonderful bedroom time.........or the living room.........or | |
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| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 1/15/2009 5:09:11 AM | | Most if not all men I have talked via the internet or phone have brought up sex at some point before we meet. I am on the fence with this one because I do find some questions offensive while others ok. I have questions too like the previous poster about if the equipment can rise to the occasion. I want a fulfilling intimate relationship with a possible mate. And yes its good to know upfront if the intimacy is going to be great or far and few between. As it was with my ex husband who had major problems. I am very passionate and desire someone who is just as passionate. Lots of touching, kissing, holding, hugging, and yes love making. Bottom line I want a good lover. As do most men. | |
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| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 1/15/2009 5:15:05 AM | | I wanted to add that if a mans first email to me is I would love to put my blank in between your breasts, thats a bit too premature. Or should I say immature. If that is all they have to say or want then they are just sexual predictors looking for laughs and giggles or shock value. That is not a romantic way to approach a woman. I have many other crude first questions but this one seems to be the one that sticks out the most no pun intended lol. | |
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| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 1/15/2009 9:29:31 AM | Talking about your sex likes and dislikes should not be a taboo subject.....but seriously have a little respect and wait until you atleast meet.......hell the person you are talkin to might not even be the one you see in the pic you are lusting over...... | |
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| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 1/15/2009 4:01:31 PM | I prefer to hear what the man likes and I definitly express my wants/needs as well..For me it lets me know if there is some sort of mutual thing happening..Then once we meet if the chemistry is there on that level as well...Yahoooooooooooooooo!!!!
Then rest assured we'll have already covered the things we both like and the experience will be that much more Splendid....  | |
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| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 1/16/2009 6:43:20 AM |
Talking about your sex likes and dislikes should not be a taboo subject.....but seriously have a little respect and wait until you atleast meet.......hell the person you are talkin to might not even be the one you see in the pic you are lusting over......
I think if one is polite, then the most honest thing to do is be up front about what you want in terms of a relationship and sexual preferences. You can always agree to meet under conditions such that no one is put on the spot. For example, you can agree before meeting that you part company without indicating that you'd like to meet again, so that you have to leave without indicating interest either way. Also, rejection is a fact of life. If you meet and there's no zing, what's the big deal? Move on and find someone with zing. It won't kill anybody to have lunch or dinner with someone he/she isn't going to fvck for aesthetic reasons.
Given that the internet could be used efficiently to at least find a pool of partners with similar enough interests to make it worthwhile to meet, what's the point in playing games that only add people you aren't compatible with to your pool? Unless someone is desparate, I would think it better to try to exclude people whom you could know from the start, would be incompatible. I guess I'm not really interested in meeting someone unless we're both able to be straight up with each other and be on the same page, so sex is going to be a subject that I always say something about before meeting anyone. | |
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| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 1/25/2009 6:31:11 AM | Just me, but this is a huge turn off and will end the communication quickly.
It shows what level that person is on and their intentions on meeting ...me. | |
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| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 1/25/2009 7:38:45 AM | Hi OP,youre no prude at all.Apart from the obvious pervs i think a lot of men just dont want to spend the time to get to know a woman maybe because there is so much choice on dating sites.Finding out about your sexual likes and dislikes should be something way way down the line,you just look for the genuine men who want to like you for yourself.I know im in the minority among other men but its how i feel.
TI | |
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| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 1/25/2009 8:29:31 PM | I would be curious to know what percentage of guys would eliminate someone as a potential partner if your first message included a note that sex really isn't your game.
Why do I talk about sex before I meet someone:
#1) If I didn't care enough about and admire someone enough to consider boinking them, I can't see how I could ever consider them for a potential relationship.
#2) I am kind of a perv...
#3) If I'm going to scare them away, I'd much rather do it before we meet.
#4) Flirting is fun.
#5) It's a turn on.
#6) It gets your mind off other things and helps each other relax.
#7) If you can talk about sex, you can talk about anything.
#8) Likewise, if you know someone intimately, chances are you also know how many times they've been in jail and what for.
#9) After you've been with someone who can take it or leave it, you realize how important sexual "ambition" is, especially if you're sexually ambitious.
#10) Starting off a relationship by cutting off the communication and saying "I don't want to hear what's important to you", is saying "Tell me what I want to hear, I'll tell you what you want to hear. Please feed me full of bullshit 'cuz the illusion matters more than the respect." | |
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| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 1/25/2009 8:46:09 PM | | I, too, am no prude. As long as there is a pre-agreed upon COMMITTED relationship before embarking on the initial sexual encounter. I clearly state in my profile that I seek a long term relationship and I am not looking for a "friends with benefits" scenario. If someone contacts me and states he is "sensuous," loves "mutual massage," is "great in bed" (whatever that means!), brags about his sexual prowess or mentions sex in any way before I have even met him, I have NO interest! That's not being "old-fashioned." That's being smart, and self-respecting, regardless of your gender. Unless, of course, that's what you're after. In which case, feel free to be honest about that in your profile. And don't bother contacting me! | |
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| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 1/25/2009 8:59:52 PM | | I know when to draw the line...if I have not met you yet in person we don't discuss about it but then it depends on the vibe if its right timing if not I keep it to myself | |
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| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 1/26/2009 5:06:24 PM | | OMG! I agree! I've had emails from guys telling me they wish they were my toilet seat. Ewww. Just doesn't do it for me. Sorry. | |
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Sefra
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Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 399 | |
| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 1/26/2009 6:46:02 PM | I had written in my profile that I am not looking for sex before or outside of marriage...
So a guy IMs me while I'm online and within a few minutes says... "so, we're gonna have to get married before we have sex, eh?"
Needless to say, that conversation ended immediately.
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| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 1/27/2009 1:23:56 PM | Of course sex is fine and dandy, but it seems to me if they have to mention it on the first email, there's not much else to the person. I've even been approached by guys that their profile was pretty much solely about what they liked during sex. I've also been approached by guys that all they have on their profile was a pic of their "package" hanging out for the world to see.
These type of things tell me that that's mainly what they feel they have to offer, just sex, and not in their minds or anything else. Sorry, but you can find just sex anywhere. JMHO, Adrianne | |
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