Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Talking about sex before even meeting      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 clearbluecolors
Joined: 1/8/2009
Msg: 426
Talking about sex before even meetingPage 18 of 22    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22)
I don't have any answers to this question, but I have some observations. Occasionally, I will connect with a guy who sounds like my man. But with the first communication, it goes downhill. He gets to a place in the conversation where it's trash talk.
Over the top, explicit, crap, and it's pretty obvious he's been third party way too much. Don't these men understand that there is a lot more to good sex than geometry and anatomy? I suspect that the more the men need to talk about it- the less interesting they are in the first person.
Anyone else want to weigh in on this?
 afashionlady
Joined: 4/19/2008
Msg: 427
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/12/2009 6:20:18 PM
OK

I wasn't going to chime in on this thread (considering how long it is!) until I JUST had some nimrod from here messaging me...asking me if I shave. And NOT my head.

Seriously...how do you go from hi how are you to "do you shave down there" and expect that the woman in question will actually take you seriously and NOT block you? (which btw, he is--blocked that is). When I said to him that I didn't understand why he couldn't ask me what did I want to do on a date, he said that he didn't want to date...he wanted a "friend and a companion"...an FWB. So I suggested that he change his profile to state that but I guess he realizes that his chances would be zero.


Good grief...some flirting is ok but damn...seriously???? I don't believe that the men here are just looking for sex--but it's the aholes like him that give those who aren't a harder time than they should get.
 MaryMermaid
Joined: 1/31/2009
Msg: 428
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/12/2009 7:29:43 PM
The thread is way too long to have read it all, but I'm going to add my two cents because of an experience I had just last week. I was getting to know what I thought was a really terrific guy, only to find out he was very creepy once we spoke on the phone. He kept bringing up sex and even started breathing into the phone so heavily that I stopped talking for a moment to wonder if was okay. He then admitted to printing my photos and masturbating to them. So any guy who thinks it's okay to approach a woman about sex (and offer way too much information) before even meeting in person has a screw loose. I'm looking for a long term healthy relationship, which means TONS of intimacy, but there's a time and place for everything. Men need to stop having phobias about wasting their time and money on a woman in case they end up not being sexually compatible. Life is full of risks and dating sites are full of a multitude of personalities. What happened to having a little aticipation and fun getting to know a person?
 barbee1970
Joined: 12/29/2008
Msg: 429
view profile
History
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/13/2009 5:59:35 AM
You're not being prude and disrespectful, they are. I am surprised at some of these men who think that will win them a date NOT!

Think with your big head(the one on your shoulders) guys. Some men have their mind in between their legs.
 FourUms
Joined: 3/17/2009
Msg: 430
view profile
History
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/13/2009 6:29:42 AM
I suppose it's far too late in this thread to ask to draw the distinction between:

1) a sexual initial contact
- and -
2) a frank discussion of sex between adults who've already started getting to know each other online but who have not yet met.

I think the first is extremely crass and uncalled for. The second, if both participants are willing, is another tool in the utility belt of online dating.
 kdavidl
Joined: 3/8/2009
Msg: 431
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/13/2009 6:51:38 AM
Its simply not polite to bring it up if you're a man. me thinks. Let her open up that subject, but then, anything goes after that...to a point.
Sounds like there are some deviants out there after reading this thread, and too bad they's missing out on good old respectful swinging from the chandelier passion
 ForRumOnly
Joined: 3/16/2009
Msg: 432
view profile
History
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/13/2009 7:01:08 AM
I never initiate conversations about sex during the first few contacts unless the woman raises the topic. There is so much else I want to know about them to help decide if I even want to meet them.

Of course, it depends on the site and circumstances of meeting, etc. Some sites are about dating, and some are more about sex - if you're on one of the latter, it would be appropriate, because you're probably not interested in a long-term relationship anyway!
 beadonna
Joined: 9/9/2007
Msg: 433
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/13/2009 12:44:13 PM


I suppose it's far too late in this thread to ask to draw the distinction between:

1) a sexual initial contact
- and -
2) a frank discussion of sex between adults who've already started getting to know each other online but who have not yet met.

I think the first is extremely crass and uncalled for. The second, if both participants are willing, is another tool in the utility belt of online dating


thank you, fourums, if you hadn't said it i would've
 sweetshy12312
Joined: 3/4/2009
Msg: 434
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/13/2009 5:36:51 PM
I have come to a conclusion and I know its hard for most men to think with the right head, but to bluntly come out and ask b4 even meeting, is he a nut or what?..
 staceybrewer
Joined: 3/3/2008
Msg: 435
view profile
History
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/13/2009 6:05:33 PM
I think that talking about sex before even meeting in person would actually ruin any chance of intimacy in any serious relationship before you met. I can understand men talking about sextalk and explicit talk to their male buddies but for most women who are not looking for an intimate encounters or casual sex that would be a huge turn off.

Then there are women who do openly talk about sex and about their likes and dislikes to men before meeting, but if she at first brings up the topic of sex initially I believe that then and only then can the man talk about it with her. However I don't think it should dominate the whole conversation either if they are not talking about other things. If the man and the woman both talk about sex a lot and they both agreed that as two consenting adults that they both agreed where only looking for casual sex or an intimate encounter and not a relationship between the two of them then that would be the only time that sex talk would be acceptable. However if one wants a serious long term relationship and the other person does not want a relationship but only sex then talking about sex before meeting would not be recommended or even an email saying that. Those men who do such things like talking about sex before even meeting in person in an email are surely going to get blocked if they don't want to know anything else about the lady at all. Most of the time if a man on here reads a woman's profile that she is not looking for casual sex or a one-night stand or any intimate encounter then he should respect that right and not even mention sex to her at all. If a man is just looking for casual sex then he should go to one of those other adult oriented websites that is made for that purpose only and not here on POF.com.

 captain wolfe
Joined: 1/30/2009
Msg: 436
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 5/2/2009 7:08:48 PM
yea that is creepy and a big no, you should not go over something like that for a while.
 outofthedesert
Joined: 6/3/2008
Msg: 437
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 5/2/2009 7:55:05 PM
I still don't see the point in discussing my sexual preferences with someone I have never met in the off chance that I will meet and find no connection. To my way of thinking, I have still given very personal information to a complete stranger. I won't use the term perfect stranger--because that would be yet determined.
 URLOVEY
Joined: 12/23/2007
Msg: 438
view profile
History
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 5/2/2009 8:00:00 PM
I know this is an old thread, but my 2 cents... I would end communication right away. I am a human female...not just an animal...sex is cheap and I can get that anywhere...let me get to know you and you me before we even CONSIDER sex conversations.
There is nothing left to the imagination anymore is there?
 stacyshrop
Joined: 4/25/2009
Msg: 439
view profile
History
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 5/2/2009 8:55:00 PM
Im not a prude by any means and if I was out on the street scantily clad waiting on the street corner I would expect men to approach me like that, but in the dating realm I expect someone to treat me with respect and get to know me and maybe things will progress into that later.
 stacyshrop
Joined: 4/25/2009
Msg: 440
view profile
History
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 5/2/2009 8:57:05 PM
LOL. OMG. I can't believe someone asked you that. Wow, there are some real winners out there.
 FourUms
Joined: 3/17/2009
Msg: 441
view profile
History
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 5/2/2009 10:10:50 PM

I am a human female...not just an animal...

Animals have sex without talking. Humans can communicate. High level communication is one of the things which separates us from animals. Just saying.
 thwipp89
Joined: 3/3/2009
Msg: 442
view profile
History
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 5/3/2009 12:38:46 AM
with 2 of the 3 girls i've met on here, it was discussed either prior to meeting or shortly thereafter...and i don't think i brought it up, as that's not really like me. seems like people are just pretty open and free when it comes to discussing sexual issues and likes/dislikes these days.
 Fifi47
Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 443
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 5/3/2009 5:05:18 AM
A definite turn off to me, as it shows me that he is probably seeking casual sex, seems to assume that I am a woman not a lady, and is used to talking about it to strangers online, which makes him a man to me, not a gentleman.
 MsYesterday
Joined: 10/30/2008
Msg: 444
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 5/3/2009 8:16:15 PM
A lot of guys here are looking for sex only.You can tell within the first conversation you are having with them....they always need to throw in few sexual things.
Before your initial meeting they will say things like.
Are you going to be in high heels and mini skirt? You sound very sexy....a true gentleman will not ask you questions like that.
 lisa94585
Joined: 4/5/2009
Msg: 445
view profile
History
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 5/3/2009 8:48:23 PM
Same thing happened to me. First phone call and within first 5 minutes. He was supposed to be looking for LTR and a complete perv.
 dogboy1969
Joined: 3/22/2009
Msg: 446
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 5/3/2009 8:54:42 PM
If a man talks about sex without meeting you, he isn't serious about a future. Men who are seriously interested in a woman are on their best behavior unless they lack social skills or common sense.
 ColonelIngus
Joined: 9/16/2007
Msg: 447
view profile
History
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 5/3/2009 10:02:40 PM

...an experience I had just last week. I was getting to know what I thought was a really terrific guy, only to find out he was very creepy once we spoke on the phone. He kept bringing up sex and even started breathing into the phone so heavily that I stopped talking for a moment to wonder if was okay. He then admitted to printing my photos and masturbating to them.

How much more into you do you want a guy to be?!


with 2 of the 3 girls i've met on here, it was discussed either prior to meeting or shortly thereafter...and i don't think i brought it up

Yea, I don't think the women posting here in this thread are necessarily very representative of the larger population.
 FourUms
Joined: 3/17/2009
Msg: 448
view profile
History
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 5/3/2009 10:10:58 PM
I've already said it, but it bears repeating... I won't initiate the conversation. If it does turn to sex, however, I welcome the frank and open discussion of it.

A definite turn off to me, as it shows me that he is probably seeking casual sex [...]


If a man talks about sex without meeting you, he isn't serious about a future.

I'm sorry to say it, but unless we're talking about rude or insulting early emails, I think you both may have it wrong.

The reason I think a discussion about sex is good, is precisely because I'm concerned about future compatibility. If all I wanted was casual sex, I'd just do it and find out for myself - I'd be moving on anyway, right?

Now if you're not a sexual person, or are never comfortable talking about it, that's fine. You're just not a good match for me, so that's good to know upfront too. I'm starting to think that I should start initiating some of these conversations - to weed out women who will never be compatible with me.

On EDIT:

Yea, I don't think the women posting here in this thread are necessarily very representative of the larger population.

This may be very true!
 barbee1970
Joined: 12/29/2008
Msg: 449
view profile
History
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 5/3/2009 10:42:54 PM
I get the same thing. A guy will talk on the phone and go right to cup size, clothes size, my overall size. No dates with these idiots.
 Fifi47
Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 450
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 5/3/2009 11:22:52 PM
Why discuss sex before meeting, as it makes him look dumb to me (and probably others) if there is no interest on his or my part in taking the relationship further upon meeting. To me, sex will be discussed if we are attracted to each other in more ways than sexually and are persuing a relationship with each other that is NOT totally based on sex. I daresay that the women who feel the same as I do are possibly not the exceptions to the rule, which does not mean that we are prudes, not interested in sex, or looking for Mr. perfect.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Talking about sex before even meeting