| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 5/7/2009 8:33:51 PM | "If you meet someone at a gathering, the coversation doesn't go like this :
Hi I'm Joe Blow, how are you, oh btw what's your favorite position? Seriously, Joe knows he's going to get smacked!!
Online Joe is braver...if the conversation goes from chit chat and getting to know you to sex, that's usually it for me! Good-Bye Joe!!
I already am aware of the fact that sex is the first and most important thing on a mans mind. If he can't be bothered to care about or want to talk about what is on my mind then he's really not worth eventually messin up my hair for! "
Amen, sister!!!! Went through this exact situation tonight with someone......his loss! | |
|
| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 5/7/2009 9:02:07 PM | | Yes, it does feel really inappropriate. Just do what you feel is right. Dont answer them if that is making you feel uncomfortable. I have had the same questions asked to me... along with "What is your bra size," "What kinds of things do you like for foreplay". If you dont want that kind of relationship, then, don't feel bad for not replying. Sex is a super big deal, obviously, to a lot of men out there and some women too. I have discussed sex before meeting with some one. It, a lot of times, can be kind of a turn on, but, other times, depending on the person, can be a turn off completely. Do what you want and what feels comfortable to you. | |
|
| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 5/8/2009 10:34:44 AM | I agree with you ... there are many times I speak to men where their first approach is talking about sex ... and I HATE that with a passion because they are not interested in getting to know me, who I am, what I do, where I come from, who does my family consists of, what do I like, what do I not like ... just general conversation about every day life and building a foundation for friendship first. Depending how many conversations we are having a day and how much information we learn from each other, it may be possible to have a general conversation about sex before meeting if you did not meet soon after the first several conversations. However, I prefer for that conversation to wait because there is time for that later on or at least after the first or second date ... but today many men online (not all but many, lol) just want sex or want someone who is physically attractive to them and can satisfy them in that area ... anything else they don't care about!!!  | |
|
| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 5/8/2009 11:08:37 AM | I as a man am looking for a relationship, not sex. I don't think talking about it before meeting is good policy. Unless both are looking for an intimate encounter. When you start dating and finding about each other though, it's part of knowing them. See if you have the same sexual drive and if you are sexually compatable. Sexually compatale means one would like a threesome, and audience, bondage, and the other just one one one and no kinky stuff. If there's a problem like the thread where she is conviced she sucks in bed, if you are willing to work and support her on this issue.
Ron | |
|
| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 5/8/2009 1:09:51 PM | | Plain and simple... on the net its considered creepy but if its done in real life like when you just meet someone if the woman thinks the guy is cute she'd be totally fine with it | |
|
| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 5/8/2009 2:50:11 PM | | I have never initiated a conversation about sex before meeting up with a woman. But some women that I met from dating sites did. I think there is a difference between having a honest discussion about sex and making crude statements on one of the first few emails such as "Hey baby, do you want to f-ck?" | |
|
| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 5/9/2009 4:44:02 PM | | I agree what is up with that I enjoy sex like every one else but please what happen on getting to know one another first.. I have had similar experiences and it just is a turn off. I like to know more about a person before sharing myself...fustrated: | |
|
| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 5/9/2009 5:24:05 PM |
Just wanted to hear others opinion regarding this topic.
I have seen an over abundance of people who want to tell me all about their sexual likes and dislikes and what they want to do to do me even before meeting me. Am I being a prude by thinking that this is disprespectful???
This behavior tells me that the person who is doing that isnt someone who isnt really interested in me as a person but what is between my legs and how that can help them.
Please discuss!
You really don't know what it means! But if they can't seem to get passed the sex thing and talk about something else other than sex then that might be a little more telling of their personality and overall interest. | |
|
| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 5/10/2009 7:37:08 AM | A conversation is a conversation - it ebbs and flows in a variety of different directions...
I struggle to see how that might come up in an email (unless it in response to information about someone gleaned from their profile or a forum post), but in a "chat", its easier to get there.
Language is vague and flirting often relies on intentionally vague language that allows the other person to take it where they are comfortable.
I answer any direct questions recieved with a direct answer. If it's a vague allusion to something, I have a choice! I can deflect the conversation or..if I"m offended respond with a very polite "why do you ask?"
"Why do you ask?" is a fabulous tool for putting the query back to the person doing the asking. They then have to tell you their INTENTIONS and clarify what they are asking. This can do several things, 1. provide information regarding how they think, 2. provide information as to what they want with you! It also allows you establish boundaries about what kinds of questions you are comfortable with answering in the venue chosen.
This works well on meets, first dates and at church!! | |
|
| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 5/10/2009 12:45:17 PM | Gypsy,
You are talking to them too long before meeting them.
Most of these guys will not turn out to be someone you will ever be intimate with, so talking to them about it while they pull their own ponytail, is just helping them get off.
Most wouldn't dare be so rude in person. Don't accept it online either. | |
|
| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 6/1/2009 11:40:30 AM | | I don't think its prudish at all. Had that exact thing happen to me. Just barely exchanged three messages with a guy and he decides to tell me that sex is his favorite hobby. Turned me right off. That irritates the hell out of me and he will never hear from me again. | |
|
Twooit
|
Joined: 5/27/2009
Msg: 462 | |
| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 6/2/2009 9:23:39 AM | | I don't care when sex comes up in casual discussion- but when it becomes the topic of the conversation(s) it starts to annoy me. I'd rather be with someone who surprises me after a few dates then someone who has told me everything she likes in bed before I even meet her. | |
|
clito
|
Joined: 4/6/2008
Msg: 463 | |
| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 6/3/2009 6:34:40 PM | as to gypsycookie's concern, a woman who is uncomfortable with talking matter-of-factly about sex, is going to be uncomfortable-whether it is talk or the real thing.Sex is one aspect of a relationship-albeit an important one!,-however if it is an "ordeal" then best seeking someone with an indifferent attitude! | |
|
| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 6/3/2009 7:00:26 PM | I find it extremely disrespectful. I had a guy send me a message saying, "What some company?" I thought he wanted to chat, so I told him my Yahoo messenger name. He wanted to know where I lived. I told him I wasn't about to tell a stranger that information. He said he was horney. I blocked him from messaging me anymore.
My profile clearly says two things, "Devout Christian," and "Don't message me looking for sex." So, right off the bat I know people who message me looking for sex can't read. | |
|
| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 6/3/2009 7:56:56 PM | | It happens to me more often than not, it makes you feel like they don't really want to get to know you at all just get in your pants. I am a very sexual person and I still think it is very rude and makes you feel like a piece of meat. I don't understand why guys have to find out if you are going to be good in bed before they even meet you. Is it such a waste of time to get to know someone and then find out the sex is not good and break it off. Why the hurry.. | |
|
| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 6/4/2009 6:26:23 AM | To me, talking about sex before even meeting someone is rude. Especially if they are doing it in a way that they assume that you are going to have sex with them. They are too confident to think that before they have met you and have no right at all.
Ive talked to quite a few men who talk about sex all the time. Sometimes I say "You really need a hobby" and their response is "I have one...sex". | |
|
| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 6/4/2009 8:09:02 AM |
To me, talking about sex before even meeting someone is rude.
In that case, every woman I've met with has been rude. Methinks the women here are posting for show, since I haven't found any women in the dating pool to be all that bashful. | |
|
| |
| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 6/4/2009 8:20:16 AM | Interesting topic.. umm but I thought the whole point of meeting and dating her was to have said subject.. But of course no one has said subject in the real world, that only happens on TV...at least from what I read in these forums everyone is chaste and innocent, but of course I have been wrong before... So what if the subject comes up?... Just because some one brings up the subject of intimate relations that does not mean they expect all of that...just maybe they are only having a conversation with you. | |
|
clito
|
Joined: 4/6/2008
Msg: 470 | |
| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 6/13/2009 12:13:54 PM | El Mariachi: I think you should listen to what PeterC says and the gent after your post! It is the sort of "brainwashing" that you cling to about sex that creates a phobia in women regarding sex wasting time and causing bad feelings. The Catholic Church's perspective(and the Puritan's) on something as natural as breathing! | |
|
| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 6/13/2009 12:21:27 PM | I really don't get the shock and disgust over this subject.
Sexuality is just one of the major forms of compatiblity. Personally, I do not want to go to all the effort of meeting someone and paying for a date if they're not compatible with me sexually.
It's just like outlook on family and having children. Sexuality is a VERY BASIC compatibility issue.
I think that jumping right into the subject is kind of silly, but everyone is different. I definitely would not meet someone without talking about it first.
One more thing - I am a very blunt, transparent, self confident person. There is literally no such thing as a question a woman could ask me that would make me feel uncomfortable.
A prudish woman, or a girl who is uncomfortable talking about things is not compatible with me. So often times I will ask questions not necessarily because the answer matters, but because HOW she chooses to answer does.
I hope that helps. | |
|
| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 6/13/2009 12:33:23 PM | | This is a difficult topic in some ways, as sex is vital to a relationship. With me it is offensive when a man who has not met me in person asks me personal sexual questions, as what my favorite positions are, how many lovers I have had, the last time I had sex, etc. At this point IMHO it is none of his freaking business. It is difficult to figure out when to talk about things though, as some people are not sexually compatible, for example a man who is into 3 somes would not be compatible with me. Maybe we all need to discuss sex on our profiles. One of the reasons why dating is difficult this day and time. | |
|
| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 6/13/2009 12:51:50 PM |
Plain and simple... on the net its considered creepy but if its done in real life like when you just meet someone if the woman thinks the guy is cute she'd be totally fine with it
Sorry, Menchie! But this is simply just not true! I don't care how cute you are (or think you are) if I haven't known you for more than 20 minutes (and probably if I haven't known you for much longer than that) it is 'creepy' for you to begin talking sex whether in person or on-line!
Guys who immediately turn the conversation to sex, are likely looking to get laid and move on! There are certainly women who would be willing to engage in these one night stands, but don't you have to wonder who else they've been with lately??? | |
|
| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 6/13/2009 1:40:52 PM | Yes it is creepy and insulting, a man I meet here asked me to call him, so I did, seemed nice enough. I hadn't spoken to him ten minuites before he asked me about my figure, how "busy" I had been since my divorce and if I had any stds. All good questions when you actually know someone and might want to be with them. First conversation, whoa thats putting the cart before the horse, if I have never laid eyes on you, I'm not telling where I'll put my mouth on you----yuk, yuk, yuk
Have some class guys. Please
2 if by sea | |
|
| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 6/13/2009 2:01:22 PM | Another case of different strokes for different folks.
Most of the 'sex' discussions I've had with women have tended to come about with their own prodding or interests or by them making an opening in the conversation for me to pursue if I'm interested. Once in a while, that's reversed.
I have no problems with it...other than it can be interesting to the point that I'll carry on conversations with someone I'd probably have already passed on normally.
But...I'm not here for sex so, even then, some fun sexual banter will be just that...and pan out o nothing in the end.
But, you never know.
I had a ~4 month relationship develop out of just that. Our 'kinks' lined up and we enjoyed each other. I don't think either of use were seeking such a thing but, it was fun while it lasted. | |
|
Home
login 
