| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 6/13/2009 8:55:44 PM |
One more thing - I am a very blunt, transparent, self confident person. There is literally no such thing as a question a woman could ask me that would make me feel uncomfortable.
A prudish woman, or a girl who is uncomfortable talking about things is not compatible with me. So often times I will ask questions not necessarily because the answer matters, but because HOW she chooses to answer does.
Soildier, sorry but there is a great difference between being blunt, transparent, and self-confident, and just plain rude and inappropriate!
I too am known as being pretty blunt, certainly self-confident, and very transparent! I am not the least bit prudish! If you are someone that I have developed a close friendship and/or intimate relationship with, I will discuss my preferences, sexual and otherwise with you in depth!
However, if I have not met you in person, or at the very least have had multiple phone conversations to the point that we have both identified that there is possibly a spark there, then questions, comments, etc. regarding my sexual preferences are totally inappropriate! If I am a woman seeking a man, and you are a man seeking a woman then that is all the information you should need at this point!
I'm sorry but guys who think they need to check out my sexual preferences before you find out whether or not we like the same music, food, or entertainment - well - sorry guys but your just rude! | |
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| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 6/13/2009 9:12:39 PM | I don't know......sometimes guys say they do want to meet a person without inhibitions and yadayadayada!!! but I don't feel is all true. Because if you do, they think you're a maneater or something like that.
Some of us just want to be open and let you guys know that what you see is what you get. It's very confusing. | |
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| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 6/14/2009 2:09:02 AM | "God forbid, people want to find out if they are compatible before wasting their time and money.."
So...Yeah...I see your point. It's totally normal. If a guy happens to be out picking up some bread and dish detergent at the store, and he sees a chick he's never met, decides, hey, i don't know that chick, but might/might not like to date her. Walks right up to her and demands to know how often she likes it, does she like it doggy or missionary, and does she swallow. Yeah...happens every day. Riiight.... | |
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| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 10/21/2009 4:36:02 AM | I had a woman who I was talking to on E-harmony close my match last night because she said our phone call made her uneasy and I made some very big assumptions about a first meeting. All I think I did was harmless flirting. We had made plans to go bowling so I said lets put a wager on the game. She said like what? play for money? I said no... everytime you roll a strike the other person gets a kiss. She giggled and said who looses then. I said there are no loosers then lol
There was not 1 single thing I said in our convo that she gave me any indication that I made her uneasy. Lots of laughter, said shes looking forward to our date etc... and I'll talk to you next week. Happy thanksgiving.
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| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 10/21/2009 9:33:14 AM |
"God forbid, people want to find out if they are compatible before wasting their time and money.."
Really......I don't understand people who think meeting someone new is a waste of time. If you men continually pay for dates, then yes, but maybe if you smartened up and only started paying when it looked like it was going somewhere?!?!
Fack man. I used to drive for 2 hours to and from dates AND paid my way and I never complained about my wasted time or money.
Frankly, most of you I wouldn't want to date anyway because putting forth effort in a relationship is just as important as sexual compatibility. | |
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| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 10/21/2009 9:52:31 AM | I think the two biggest complaints on this site (and no I don't have any scientific data to back that up) are:
1) I finally met up with this guy and all he wanted to do was get into my pants.
2) I started talking to this guy and right off the bat he wants to talk about sex.
It would appear to me that the second fellow is being more open and honest than the first, also that the second scene would be the preferable of the two. Granted some guys can be rude and crass about it, but at least you still know from the gitgo what he is interested in and can avoid even meeting IRL in the first place. | |
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| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 10/21/2009 10:12:51 AM | ^^^Yes, those are the two biggest complaints from women. I have yet to EVER say that.
Big deal. So he tried to get into my pants or he tried to talk about sex. If I don't like it, I stop it or leave.
The more you people complain about this or women expecting you to pay or women not responding, the more negative you sound. | |
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| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 11/15/2009 1:03:49 PM | | Being too upfront with someone you've never met is boring...my eyes glaze over if a guy starts saying he's going to do this and that to me (yawn). Where's the mystery, magic, emotion in that? It just seems so cold and mechanical. | |
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| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 11/20/2009 4:20:56 PM | Hm...reading this thread just gave me the perfect response to the next man that asks me about my sexual preferances before even meeting......
"How much money do you make?"
No more any of my business than my sexual preferences are your business!! | |
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| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 11/20/2009 4:38:18 PM | i think more often these dates don't end up working out even on the most basic of levels, let alone being attracted enough to get down and dirty.
i don't think it's disrepectful so much as it's pointless. once you get to know someone and sex comes up, talk about it then. | |
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| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 11/20/2009 4:54:39 PM | Glad to know that I'm not the only one who's been through this LOL
Oh yeah when you know that there are plenty of guys here just for hookups, no surprise they wanna talk dirty even before meeting you. Those kind of guys will get bored and move on to the next target shortly after when you just talk about art, music, hobbies, your daily life, etc cause they are NOT INTERESTED IN GETTING TO KNOW YOU AT ALL. lol
Some guys even think they are given some sort of permission to get in your pants on a first date just because you talked about sex with them before LOL | |
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| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 11/20/2009 6:20:20 PM | | In my opinion, no discussion needed. TOTALLY DISRESPECTFUL!!!!!! Delete and block are the two words that come to mind. | |
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| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 11/20/2009 7:15:58 PM | | Hmmn-refer back to thread about class mattering in online dating. Some have it, some don't-also known as 'manners'-pretty basic stuff! | |
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| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 11/20/2009 7:51:29 PM | | No, you're not a prude. But you need to realize a lot of the people on here--okay, mainly the guys--are looking for NSA hook-ups, maybe FWB at best. That's why they start in with the sex talk right away. | |
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| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 11/20/2009 8:38:56 PM | Talking about sex is presumpsuous (?) prior to a meeting. I don't know what you are talking about in your emails,but if you you talk about sex,he may be more apt. to expect that. Try talking about more mundane things, and other interests and activities you'd like to try.Unless it is sex that you are after.
If he is only writing about sex, it's a pretty good guess that's what he's after.
Throw him (them) back, and throw your line back in is my advice. | |
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| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 11/20/2009 9:38:04 PM | What I tell guys who start talking sex before we've met is, "I work on a need to know basis. You'll need to know when and IF I decide I want to have sex with you. That time isnt now."
Ive rarely had anyone continue with the talk after that. Either they tell me I'm a prude, and stop chatting, or they switch the topic.
Whether I'm looking for a hookup or a long term relationship is irelevant. Let's say, for the sake of argument, that I was looking for a hookup. That doesnt mean you can disrespect me. Save the dirty talk for the appropriate time. | |
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| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 11/21/2009 5:29:56 AM | I've had quite a few guys bring up sex, ask me if I want naughty pics, want to know what I'm wearing etc
Basically these guys are looking for free sex chat line, and can't possibly be serious about a real relationship. I don't "chat" just because of these guys who are so brave when they're anonymous...
obviously they have issues that you DON'T want to have to deal with! They're the modern day version of the creepy guy who hides in the bushes peeking in your window while you're getting dressed!! | |
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| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 11/21/2009 5:55:24 AM | Okay, good point...and at the same time a bad one. I get asked about this a lot in my work (I'm a dating coach...yes, for real) and it's always about when to introduce sex into the conversation. Like it or not, it's an important part of any relationship. Without sex, no matter how you dress it up, you're just buddies...and no guy wants to be that.
I think it depends on where you see the direction going. If you want to have a honest chat with yourself, then determine what it is you're looking for. Is it long term security in a relationship? Is it just having the closeness of someone to awake each morning with? Is it just someone to keep you from feeling alone? Only you can decide. Now, no girl wants to be seen as 'easy' and I'm all for that but we all have needs. If your need is to have a guy over 3 times a week, then you go grrl! On that trip, bringing sex into the conversation early cuts straight to the chase and to hell what anyone thinks. Looking for something a little more frequent but involving social situations, then leave it a while but make sure that you initiate intimacy in the conversation when you feel it's right. If the guy's the right one, he'll understand and also this ensures that you retain control. Personally, I feel this one out gently allowing my date to bring this on when she's ready. A bit of understanding goes a long way.
Jules
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