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 fafi83
Joined: 2/13/2008
Msg: 101
Talking about sex before even meetingPage 5 of 22    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22)
Couldnt agree more. Its just annoying.
 hawthorngirl
Joined: 3/8/2008
Msg: 102
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/17/2008 6:12:20 AM
Hi everyone
I dont think you area prude.
I had a bloke asked to meet me and we agreed a date and time.
The very next text was, how long was I single, was I passionate and did I wear thongs

my reaction was, oh yes he ovboiusley just wants sex
when I sent back that surely that was not the first question someone asks if they are truly looking for a relationaship, he told me I had issues and he would leave me to sort them out. He made me feel like I was the weirdo .................... am I ?
 LoonyTunz
Joined: 8/11/2006
Msg: 103
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Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/17/2008 6:53:10 AM

I have seen an over abundance of people who want to tell me all about their sexual likes and dislikes and what they want to do to do me even before meeting me. Am I being a prude by thinking that this is disprespectful???

Yes it does mean you are a bit of a prude (see the "bit" part since I don't know you or how comfortable you get discussing these issues with someone you know better).
So find a guy that is a bit of a prude himself, hope that down the road there isn't frustration due to incompatibility between the sheets.


This behavior tells me that the person who is doing that isnt someone who isnt really interested in me as a person but what is between my legs and how that can help them.

This could very well be the case. Or he could be feeling out compatibility with a near stranger to see if something might be worth persuing. Sex may not be everything but it is very important in a relationship, so finding you that you do or don't enjoy enough of the same things saves him from wasting his time and yours down the road.
 wild heart
Joined: 10/14/2007
Msg: 104
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/17/2008 7:44:28 AM

and did I wear thongs


Oooh, now there's a casanova.....lol
 discoafternoon
Joined: 4/15/2007
Msg: 105
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/17/2008 7:55:43 AM

Now, how many women REALLY have anything to offer other than sex anyway?


Wow. Nice attitude there.
 dothan guy
Joined: 10/3/2006
Msg: 106
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Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/17/2008 8:01:42 AM
I Think the cyber world of internet dating has let people let thier inhibitions down as far as sex is concerned!!!!B oth women and men!!!! But i think that can be a positve thing as well.As long as two people have chatted for a while .Oviusly there is a connnection or atttraction!!! So i don't see the harm in asking a few flirty questions!!! Don't wanna end up with another Lifeless ex!!!!!!!
 ang65
Joined: 3/23/2008
Msg: 107
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Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/17/2008 8:42:32 AM
If a guy starts talking about sex, I tell him to find a prostitute because it's obvious he's not looking for anything serious and then I delete him.
 Reggyboy
Joined: 3/19/2008
Msg: 108
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/20/2008 6:10:17 PM

Reggyboy.
What a sad example of a man you are.
You are, how old? And still, here you are on a dating site, bashing women and begging for a date at the same time?
You should get a Dog, pronto!
That or your budies, are the only people who going to stick around listening to your ignorant statements.
Good luck getting a date here after they read what you wrote in this forum.


Woof woof!!

What do you know about anything? You seem to have judged that men who have an interest in sex are no good at it.. If they last no more than 2 mins with you, I think you should ask yourself why they are so keen to finish fast!!

Get to the back of the queue!!!
 fixitfred
Joined: 11/10/2007
Msg: 109
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Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/20/2008 8:05:57 PM
Women jump the gun them damn selves sometimes when sex is mentioned some immediately think it's the only thing on men's minds. I'm willing to wait but sometimes I want to know if I'm wasting my time waiting for something that will never cum. I will ask point blank. "Do you like sex?" , " Well, do ya punk!?" I sometimes save the second question for special occasions.
 M.ango
Joined: 1/18/2008
Msg: 110
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Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/20/2008 9:34:45 PM
prudish a tad but not uncommon.
talking about sex these days is like talking about last nights hockey game for some people. think of it like this, if sex is discussed prior to actually even meeting the person the amount of sexual tension that will arise after the initial encounter if all goes well won't be so bad. like that if the two people click they can continue the jokes and conversation regarding sex if its bound to happen. if you are open to discussing sex doesn't necessarily mean that someone isn't interested in you but if you can freely talk about something personal like that chances are you will have no problem carrying on a conversation about just about anything lol

just throwing it out there....
 uwishtoo_1958
Joined: 4/10/2008
Msg: 111
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/20/2008 10:54:00 PM

So when is the best time to broach the subject, because it is or should be a very important part of a relationship? Like it or not, it is one of the basics of any good relationship. How long do we dance around the subject?


I still say and will always say why feel the need to TALK about it at ALL???? if you date women that turn out to have no interest in sex then that is something that you are missing clues on. I can flirt and say little things that arent crude or get right down to it and the men I date KNOW that I am going to be great in a relationship - in all ways. Hard to point out exactly what I might say but it comes across that I am sensual and loving. I see no reason to talk about it - if the chemistry is there then just do it and for gods sake shut up about it and if it turns out to be lousy then ok - move on to someone else. But for me at least, talking about it incessantly to me would be a big enough turn off for me that the man would never get the chance to find out on his own in time just how great it could be
 uwishtoo_1958
Joined: 4/10/2008
Msg: 112
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/20/2008 11:03:50 PM
What I used to do that I found humorous was when a man would ask me if I had great - uh - politely put - breasts and I would say yeah IT is just great. Letting them feel like a complete jackass when they realized that I only HAD one. (mastectomy in 99 and recon in 2005) course the idiots that thank god, were few, that came up and said hey show me your ti** - lol - well yeah picture it - me saing ok ya really wanna see? Man drooling saying yeah yeah - and then I would say well ok if you really want to see them - then I would pull out the prostethis that I used to wear and hand it to him. Never thought men could run that fast - lol

Sorry but I found humor in most things in life and since I didnt feel like crying over a lost breast, then I had to find the humor in even that event in my life or I would have gone insane
 uwishtoo_1958
Joined: 4/10/2008
Msg: 113
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/20/2008 11:09:08 PM

Now, how many women REALLY have anything to offer other than sex anyway?


That doesn't even deserve an answer actually - if you really feel that way about women then you are totally to be pitied. Hell I have more going on in my life than alot of men that I date - a house versus an apartment - a nicer car - but I don't care about any of that stuff. Men sure seem to not like it though. I don't have to "offer" anyone to anything - at least no one that I don't feel deserves it. And the only thing a man has to do to be deserving is treat me like a lady with respect and the same good nature I give to him. But when I do offer anything it is my heart, intelligence, kindness and good nature not to mention a woman with compassion and love for most people
 Reggyboy
Joined: 3/19/2008
Msg: 114
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/21/2008 5:09:52 PM

That doesn't even deserve an answer actually - if you really feel that way about women then you are totally to be pitied. Hell I have more going on in my life than alot of men that I date - a house versus an apartment - a nicer car - but I don't care about any of that stuff. Men sure seem to not like it though. I don't have to "offer" anyone to anything - at least no one that I don't feel deserves it. And the only thing a man has to do to be deserving is treat me like a lady with respect and the same good nature I give to him. But when I do offer anything it is my heart, intelligence, kindness and good nature not to mention a woman with compassion and love for most people


Hmm! You sure think you are better than the average narcisist huh?
 fanta33
Joined: 4/9/2008
Msg: 115
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/21/2008 9:40:53 PM
Reggy.. hmmm wasted time and MONEY? interesting choice of words. I know guys while dating may spend money on dinner, movies, flowers, candy etc., but whatever happened to giving or treating someone simply to be nice and because you like them. I have had guys pay for me on dates and buy me gifts before don't get me wrong, and I have paid and bought things for people I've dated. But my understanding was we are doing so simply to be generous to someone we like, and never consider dating someone to be a financial investment? So if I do and things don't work out it's really only the time that's wasted isn't it, as you chose to give your money, just like a donation , but that's my two cents on that and I'll deposit it into the pof piggybank lol.. $$

Anyway back on topic
I completely agree with what Tee said but also think this could prove to create a couple of other potential problems for some women. The person bringing it up may originally have geniunely been trying to get to know you better and feel like because you are both adults you should be able to talk about these things even if you haven't yet met. However, you could be putting yourself in a situation where the person could use this against you later. One situation would be they take your being so comfortable talking about it to mean there could be potential sexual gain for them if all else fails. Now if it doesn't seem like you are a match for dating or a relationship, why not stick around to see if they can score. Apparantly you put out right, LMAO. Or and this may be a problem to some women you also end up not being interested in the person yourself but now they have this very private information about you, and you now regret it because you have no idea what they could do with the informaiton. Yes these things could happen regardless even after you've met, but why up the odds? Remember generally even today there is still a double standard for women when it comes to this topic, many women may feel just feel like they should just try and keep it clean when you haven't met to avoid being labeled, not to be difficult or a prude about it. You really kind of have to look at it from their side too if they are not willing to open up about it.

And there is another two cents to piggybank , don't spend it all in one place..

 Masked_Hero
Joined: 12/14/2003
Msg: 116
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/21/2008 9:51:49 PM
When women start talk'n about sex early before we really get to know each other, to me is a huge turn off.. At the same time its defenatly a topic that has should be disscused eventually.
 jeffreyln101
Joined: 1/27/2008
Msg: 117
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Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/22/2008 2:13:31 AM
I guess I am guilty of this...

On my profile I speak of a base line sexual need that I have that needs to be met in a relationship. I even share one of my deep seeded fetishes. I see it as critical information to share with any potential partneer. I have experienced a few times getting deep into a relationship and liking everything about them then learning deep seated desires in both make you incompatible, and this is very much not fun.

I see it as a filtering of sorts it is the same to me as telling the world I am a geek and you can expect me to roll out of bed and code for 12 hours. I am simply saying you can be assured I am kinky by sharing that I have those interest before we even say hello.
 wild heart
Joined: 10/14/2007
Msg: 118
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/22/2008 4:58:34 AM
^^^You probably can discuss this without getting all "smarmy". The cheap smarmy talk is what most of us don't like. The mature discussion is fine.

In essence you talk about this much as you would anything that you "need" in a potential mate/relationship.

Frankly, I don't see a problem with that. What makes most of us run is when the discussion is of the sort that one can imagine the other person doing something other than typing wih their hands.....
 hd_rocker1
Joined: 3/7/2008
Msg: 119
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/22/2008 5:55:53 AM
I don't think you need to go into specific details.... but I do think at the proper time, the only thing that should come up is as to whether or not you have compatabile sex drives.
 fixitfred
Joined: 11/10/2007
Msg: 120
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Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/22/2008 10:32:01 AM

I don't think you need to go into specific details.... but I do think at the proper time, the only thing that should come up is as to whether or not you have compatabile sex drives.

I don't necessarily look for equal sex drives as I believe most men have women beat in that area. Although in my old age I have run into a few 40'ish sexual peak raring to go girls that normally, like most men, wish they had that to deal with but it wasn't all it was cracked up to be. I just look for women that don't hate sex. Those that freak when you ask or talk about it give me pause.
 Looking4sumthngdifferent
Joined: 3/30/2008
Msg: 121
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/22/2008 5:13:28 PM
all the time! whats up with that? i always think that they're at home in private starting without us but using us to get there. i do not entertain these conversations. kinda like a wanna be-john whose too cheap to pay the lady!! lol!!
it shows me exactly why they r on here! we cant smack them in the mouth for saying the most inappropriate things to us. and on the street they do get smacked. gotta give 'em this ladies....he's a fast learner at least!
 spiraldive
Joined: 3/3/2008
Msg: 122
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/22/2008 5:19:59 PM
They're probably typing with one hand also....

Avoid.
 flowrpowr03
Joined: 4/9/2008
Msg: 123
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/22/2008 5:41:59 PM
I'm glad I am not the only one this happens to. What makes these guys think they have the right to get so graphic with someone they don't even know? I am by no means a prude, but I am a lady. I've had guys IM me and no sooner tell me their name before they ask if I want to talk dirty. What is that about? Show some respect and you might just get to find out the answers to those burning questions.
 MY OH MY
Joined: 10/11/2007
Msg: 124
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/22/2008 8:40:42 PM
Tonight I have come to realize that I do talk about sex in a way before meeting men. I realized it because I talk about some of the funny things I have read on the forums. Some of the funniest sexual threads are deleted. I wish some of the comments could be kept and put in the comment hall of fame.
 Cat*Eyes
Joined: 9/13/2006
Msg: 125
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Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/22/2008 8:49:09 PM
I think it is a good idea to talk about sexual perferences. That way I can weed out the guys that would not be suitable for me. For example I do not engage in so call oral sex. I weed out men who must engage on oral. I want a man who will learn where and how to touch me with his hands also not jerk off on the day, and a day before we decide to have sex so he can maintain an erection. Getting sex issues out in the open is good because it helps avoid a dissapointment.
Talking about sex perferences, what I like and don't like, does not mean I am going to do it with the person I am sharing this with, but it can avoid dissappointments if and when it happens.
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