| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/25/2008 9:42:40 PM | Like I said in a different forum ... I unerstand both sides of the sex and dating thing , but do guys have to be so grose and say things like Im horny ? ... Its like I cant get passed the frist three emails without getting sone lame words on sex ... Why cant men be a little more tackful and show a little class about it ...  | |
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| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/25/2008 9:51:48 PM | | It's entirely possible they were the product of a "bait - n - switch" .... they learned from their prervous experience that some women will give them what they want during the courtship and after the relationship has been "formalized" it's all over..... | |
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| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/25/2008 10:36:09 PM | You hit it right on the nail whether anyone wants to admit it or not. This is a place where we can learn about each other and have these discussions about sex or whatever else without having to waste our time going on a date with someone we are not compatible with.......
There is nothing worse than meeting someone, going out with them, and realizing a month later that he's into bondage and your claustrophobic. Just an analogy, but seriously, what's the big deal about discussing sex from a third party prosepective? In the end, it all boils down to chemistry and sexual compatibility.
Yes, it's great if two people like the same things and have fun and get along, but bottom line, if your not sexually compatible, none of that matters so why not get it out in the open from the get go to avoid wasting time and energy.  | |
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| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/26/2008 11:59:02 AM | Whoops Reggy, and to think i've just sent you a personal email. Shame on me !!! Have you answered yet? Will you start up the pillow talk or shall I 
I love a good old ribald natter. However I do appreciate that if it gets too fruity before meeting and excitement and expectations are high, then we may be in for a big deflated bang rather than a healthy respectable rogering!!  | |
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| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/26/2008 12:20:50 PM | I get the same almost with every guy & I have asked them in my profile & in messages, & on the phone & in person not to do this....obviously they don't get good women. I feel it is ultimately showing disrespect in a very pertinent area that we as ladies would appreciate & we would most likely be more inclined to date them again if they did "HEAR" us truly. If this is disrespected. Such an important area to both sexes obviously, in just different ways, one meaningful & heart-felt, the other much less to do with heart or spirit, what else will be disrespected down the road? Self-mastery is an acquired quality, that disqualifies these guys with ONE thing on their mind from my event calendar. Thanks for being open about this...  | |
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| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/26/2008 12:33:59 PM | Desert politely raises her hand and asks this question:
What's the point of discussing sex when you don't even know if you like his/her kisses? Not a great kisser? The rest is pointless. Just like Rhett Butler said, I am a woman who needs to be kissed and kissed often and by a man who knows how. Let's get to first things first. What if she has a twitch that drives you nuts? What if he smells? What if she farts the whole time you are together? Aren't there other things you need to be past before you discuss sex?
Time and money on a first meet would be well spent to find things out, unless all you are looking for is the motel sex. | |
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| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/26/2008 12:56:36 PM |
If someone I'm getting to know brings it up OFTEN and doesn't talk about much else... then he's a turd.
I am in total agreement. When you've told a man that you are interested in getting to know him and not interested in sex chat, it's extremely disrespectful if he persists with it.
Men, why not save the sex talk for AFTER the first meeting? There's no point in discussing sex prior to that, especially if you determine there's no chemistry.  | |
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| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/26/2008 1:53:38 PM |
Oh man! Could I tell you a earfull! This woman has sheep on her profile, Honey where are you? I'm over here, baaaaaaaaa. Nuff said bout dat!
..Ever hear that saying..If you don't have something nice to say, then don't say nothing at all.. Yes I have but many females on here must not have. Woman do more bashing but because they feel justified anything they say becomes okay in their mind.
..Or gee he seemed nice until he opend his mouth. She seemed very nice until she started talking and she couldn't keep her mouth shut. The shoe on the other foot, didn't you know they come in pairs?
..Most of the ladies on this site are looking for love. Not just sex. Why do mostly women assume they are mutually exclusive?
Hell we can get that anytime, and we don't need a man. Thats what were afraid of so we explore with questions.
Totally creeps me out. A popular opinion among women here. How's that for maturity?
but do guys have to be so grose and say things like Im horny ? Females have always been telling guys they want to know what were feeling. Only answer that question when you tell them what they want to hear or talk about feelings they consider valid. If we feel it whats wrong with saying it and discussing it like a mature adult? I may be hot, cold, lonely, hungry or sad but those are okay? We still live in the dark ages where some topics are taboo? Talking about sex doesn't mean wanting to do it then and there or ASAP or 24 hours a day but how about exploring another aspect of compatibility in a healthy relationship. I forgot, eeww that's like so gross, like totally, fer sure. | |
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| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/26/2008 2:55:31 PM |
but could simply be considered[sp] in poor taste before you meet someone one in person
So if I listen to [insert poor taste] music that might be a deal breaker. Clothes out of style or in poor taste should be avoided. How about my poor taste in furnishing my sparsly decorated, messy apartment?
What do you do for a living? (hint, hint, how much do you make?) What's your blood type? Do you have HIV or other diseases. Do you require dialysis? Lighten up and relax. We live in an information age. Life is complicated enough don't make it harder than it is relax. I sometimes test women too and if they can't handle simple questions without going off the deep end, I see it as saving myself a lot of time and energy down the road and pain, lots of it. | |
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| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/26/2008 3:35:51 PM | Sometimes guys like to talk about sex,because they love it...not because they are trying to disrespect you,sometimes just because it can be fun to them,hoping it will be fun for you in a flirtatious way..if you're not comfortable with it,,but if you like his looks and like what his profile is about...you could try to get to know him beyond the sex..I'm sure there is more to him then sex..read his profile again and start talking about his other loves....you can add to it,,by being more nurturing and letting him know that you love sex too and that if you and he where in a realationship it might not bother you...then after you ask him to slow down and he doesn't slow down enough keep mentioning it to him until you have him under control....If he still can't abide by you're rules,,,then he is disrespecting you...and you may have to just be blount about it ,if you still like him...You have lots of control,he is coming on too you strong,be strong back,comunicate it to him if you have the energy, and if the desire to be with him is present.....If you get things under control,,I would meet him,but it may start over again with his advances once you meet and you may have to put him in his place again....It could be alot of work or not depending how much you're attracted to him...
good luck,
tim | |
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| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/26/2008 5:21:00 PM |
I see it as saving myself a lot of time and energy down the road and pain, lots of it.
I removed myself from the selection process.
Yes, I did make a typo, I was cooking chicken oscar, green beans and baby carrots for dinner and was rushing between the stove and computer. How was your pizza? | |
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| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/26/2008 5:29:21 PM | you know, i didn't agree with that until i read it again. but you're right. just get it out of the way. if that's what you're after, then come right out and say it. don't make me waste my breath even talking, for there are plenty o'fish! | |
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| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/26/2008 5:39:43 PM | | You are an adult so behave like one. You don't have to talk about anything you are not comfortable with. "We teach people how to treat us" - Dr.Phil. | |
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| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/26/2008 5:44:07 PM | | I don't think it's a good idea because if you barely know each other and never met why would sex matter. We all know that internet dating can be tricky and chating with someone and a "real meeting" is two different things. I mean you can meet someone that you seemed to have things in common with and you discover that you don't so why would talking about sex get you anywhere | |
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| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/26/2008 6:09:36 PM | I'm very put off when in a profile, I read anything pertaining to sex. It has no place there. I think a profile should say no more than you would to a stranger you are just talking with for the first time, yet repeatedly I see reference to sexual preferences stated.
We are all strangers here. Sexual statements are disprespectful and yes I agree, that the sex is what the real concern for those who mention it.
Another thing is, in case you haven't found it yet, I have found many of those men are married men looking for an adulterous affair and another reason they write about sex. When I see sex mentioned I do not allow that user to contact me. BIG RED FLAG !!!!! | |
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| out of the desert
Posted: 4/26/2008 10:44:46 PM | How was your pizza?
She was great !!!!!!! | |
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| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/26/2008 11:56:53 PM | | Can be a turn on or a turn off, depending on how smooth the guy is and how well he reads the signals. If he charges forward like a tank, ignoring all the road signs, that's no good, that's probably how he is going to be from now on. He may or may not be a one-night-stander, but he is just too full of himself. If the guy can create an atmosphere of trust where anything and evertything can be discussed, wow, can anticipate all the pillow talk! If we meet and there is no chemisty, he can be a good friend. Then there is another problem though... I can readily talk about someone's fetishes at the moment, and then feel turned off later. Don't know why... one guy wanted to be splashed with a car, I promised to come in a trailer truck and give him a big splash, he got all excited, but I honestly can't imagine meeting him, it's just way too silly, who talks about fetishes so early anyway. Too much openness too soon is no good... leave some room for mystery... but do show you actually have a gender, I don't mind. | |
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| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/27/2008 12:36:30 AM | The thing is... most guys will start wondering what it's like to have sex with you the second they lay eyes on you. They don't even have to talk to you... they could just see you walking down the street and they'll already be picturing you naked. The difference with the internet is people feel like they can leave their inhibitions at the door and say anything that pops into their head. They would never say those things to you in real life right off the bat... unless they were drunk or stupid.
I think the internet has really socially handicapped a lot of people. | |
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| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/27/2008 12:41:24 AM | I am guessing the men are starting the topic with you ?
Well its like this, on a normal day men don't do sex, they get up go to work, come home eat their tea, fall asleep in front of the tv and then get up go to bed.
As long as women are clear on that, then there is no problems. | |
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| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/27/2008 3:15:06 AM |
The thing is... most guys will start wondering what it's like to have sex with you the second they lay eyes on you.
The thing is....most women will start wondering what it's like to have sex with you the second they lay eyes on you.........if they feel a connection. | |
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| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/27/2008 8:51:05 AM | What's up with all the Victorian ladies out there? Throughout a man's lifetime, a woman after a woman convinces men that sex is a dirty, dirty thing, starting with their own mothers, and then we wonder whatever happened to them... probably insecurity on our part, as well as theirs.
I think, just like most gomophobic people tend to be latent gays, the women who scold men most are latent ________ fill the blank. | |
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