| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/27/2008 12:01:10 PM | | My self I prefer not to talk about sex....Talking dirty to a woman on here does nothing for me....If I am chatting with a woman only a couple of times then she start talking about sex to me......I call that a whore....lol | |
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| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/27/2008 2:42:04 PM | I wasn't clear on this. Is this what men should expect when they get together with you? Or is this how you imagine a man's life is without a woman.
Well its like this, on a normal day men don't do sex, they get up go to work, come home eat their tea, fall asleep in front of the tv and then get up go to bed. I think you forgot to mention them drinking their crumpet's. | |
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| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/27/2008 2:42:41 PM | I think a little harmless flirting before we meet to me is a good thing. I like to know there's the potential for interest and chemistry in that department. Call me wierd, but I like to know we can communicate at that level.
I've also gotten to the point where I pretty much refuse to "hot chat" with someone before I meet them. It just adds a whole different level of awkward, especially when you do meet them and either of you decide "friend" or "no". | |
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| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/27/2008 2:52:03 PM | ^^^^There is a difference between harmless flirting and outright sexual talk or comments.
My last two contacts on here alluded to nothing but sex basically. One wanted a date with me, asked jokingly if I kissed on the first date and I responded no and alluded to a song - all messages promptly deleted no response. I could be wrong, but it really came across as he wanted to get lucky for the night. The next one was in response to my posting on a forum, telling me that he read it and it was something he liked. Not something I want to receive in a first contact. Add to that, he has seen my profile - quite a while ago and yet only when I discuss something sexual is there an interest. In fact, I added him to my favourites at one time.
I don't think it's wrong to be interested in sex, but at this point in my life the level and type of sex I want will only happen with trust, intimacy and commitment. And while sex is important, so is getting to know ME because believe me when I get serious about a man, I will discuss sex with him to ensure he's on the same page as I am. | |
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| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/27/2008 2:53:10 PM | I think it depends on the people talking. If it makes you uncomfortable then say you would rather not talk about it this soon. I don't bring it up but I do have ladies ask me things. I figure if they ask, they must want a answer. Since I am disabled it usually starts out along the lines of 'does my disability affect my sex life'. It doesn't but then they ask more after that. If they ask, I answer. After a little while I may ask a question or two myself.
I did read one other post that mentioned it can be better than finding out later that one has a high sex drive and the other has a low sex drive. If watching similar shows on TV, liking similar foods and having compatible money views and other things can be talked about, then why not at least a little info on the romance? It just comes down to whether both people are somewhat comfy talking about it or not. If one is not, then one should say so.
My $0.02 worth for today.
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| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/27/2008 3:01:41 PM | | Use a little tact...Its very simple...If two people are comfortable , great...Not everyone chooses to blab about sex prior to meeting anyhow...Use use thinkin cap... | |
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| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/27/2008 3:06:13 PM |
I did read one other post that mentioned it can be better than finding out later that one has a high sex drive and the other has a low sex drive.
Here's my reason to wait until you are face to face. If he is unable or finds it uncomfortable to talk about sex in person I am not interested. The amount of men who CAN blather on and on about sex online is numerous. The amount of men who are comfortable talking about sex face to face is not so numerous.
I don't wait an eternity before meeting someone.
It's like so many things on here - one can talk the talk, but not all can walk the walk. | |
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| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/27/2008 3:06:21 PM | Sex is ok with the person you love..
Thats why masturbation was invented..
Seems thats what most sex chatters want..
And good luck to them!!
I have grown out of cyber sex on the whole..
Ever since i found the joys of certain specialist web sites on the internet that provide top rack babes doing the goodies for free..
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| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/27/2008 4:03:58 PM | I find that this is about personality, and respect, rather than sex drive, and prudish ideals........
I think profiles can determine this quite easily.......
I am used to being treated with a great deal of respect by men who have been interested in me and had realtionhips with me, I have a great sex life and am definatley not a prude.......
Sex has never been an issue in any of my relationships with men, sex has alwasys been great to the very end, it never faded it increased and opened up the relationhips progressed, I always recieved gifts of lingerie and weekends away, I always shopped for things for them to surprise them and get them excited....... We would surprise each other very special ways, it was a big part of the relationships, it was exploring and sharing and enhanced the closeness and itimacy of the relationhips,
Sex drive increased during the relationships, not declined.....
The men I have been with have introduced to me their fantasies and I have always been open to exploring this with the man I am with, and get maximum pleasure when he is able to open up and share with me.... In fact I had never considered having a bad or non existant sex life........
However I would be and am insulted when men from this site have contacted me and have talked to me on the phone have brought sex up into the conversation in the first or second phone call, Its cheap and nasty and offensive......... Not how I am used to be treated by men at all, the men I have been with are confident and know how to treat women and obvioulsy dont have any problems in the area of sex or sex appeal and making it great......
And like me they are looking for other qualities in a woman besides sex, and are prepared to take time to get to a know a LADY and know how to be GENTLEMEN and have wanted relationships with women not just sex.....
This site as proved one thing to me, I have been lucky with men and actually attract decent guys into my life and I dont need this site,
I have hidden my profile nd have no interest what so ever in meeting anyone or talking to anyone from this site...... I know I will attract another decent man into my life, and it is worth waiting till it happens rather than dealing with the crap from some of the people on this site.....
These guys wonder why they dont get responses from women and they are the ones who seem to need confirmation about sex and I wonder if perahps they are not adequte in this department and have had problems with sex in past relationships, I have heard men state they have slept in separate rooms and havent had an active sex life with their xs for quite long periods. that is scary......... | |
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| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/27/2008 6:29:32 PM | | When a kitty has been attacked by enough stray dogs it can become a cat , content purring most of the time, but perfectly capable of chasing the dogs away........ | |
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| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/27/2008 6:43:02 PM | I like to find out as much as possible before meeting. That includes sexual likes and dislikes. I am not talking about what turns me on and off, but things in general. I ask if he is into porn for example. That would be someone that I would NOT meet.
With that said, I also think that it can be done in a tasteful or distasteful way. If he is going places because he is pleasing himself by your answers, then obviously over the line. I think someone can pretty much tell if that is the case.
I don't think it is any different than finding out any other likes and dislikes, unless you would rather start out from square one at the meeting.
I would rather not do that.
Some men have been put off by how upfront I am with knowing what I want and what I will settle for or not.
I ask about being set up for retirement and debt too. I feel it IS my business if they are dating me. I am worth an answer too. If not, then I move on.
I've worked too darn hard for what I have to give 1/2 of it away at this point in my life.
(going off on a tangent but there is my answer, lol) | |
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| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/28/2008 8:39:59 AM | | It puts me off right away. It takes me a little while to warm up to someone, and the first thing I look for is character. Talking about sex right away doesn't speak well to someone's character IMO. However, flirtation is very welcome. | |
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| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/28/2008 11:32:01 AM | haha... I never understand why some women think because a guy looks at porn that's a deal breaker. If that's the case, I'm afraid you're going to have to go lesbian... because just about every guy on the face of the earth looks at porn. Guys masturbate... especially when they are single... and guess what they look at when they do it?
Now if a guy is in a satisfying relationship and he's STILL looking at porn, then you might have a problem. Everyone is different, but for me if I'm in a relationship I'd much rather indulge in my significant other than in porn.
But anyway, back to the original topic...
I think it is pretty stupid to start having graphic sexual conversations on the internet with someone you've never met. A little flirting is normal... but you need to remember it's a real person you're talking to, someone you might want to meet in real life, and saying inappropriate things isn't going to bode well for any future meetings.
I know there are a LOT of guys who treat this and other dating sites as though they are "hook-up" sites. If that's all a person is looking for, then more power to them... but do it in the right place. You should NOT be contacting the "normal" people who are not looking for "intimate encounters".
Just my 2 cents... | |
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| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/28/2008 2:30:31 PM | Dear Shaun:
Your post impressed me to the point that I took a peek at your profile...It is such a shame that more of the men on singles sites don't have the maturity that you obviously have...and at a young age, too. Kudos to you, you seem like a fine gentleman....and, someone whom a mom would be proud of!
As we age we seem to collect bits and pieces of wisdom and you've have begun a magnificent collection!
We women have our likes and dislikes, and, what matters most, is that the man having a discussion with us, has the ability to learn where we stand....I agree with several other posters, that a "general" discussion on sex has it's place among one of the initial conversations. As far as I'm concerned, it plays a definite part in any romantic relationship and, before I invest time and effort into pursuing a future relationship, there are many places where I would wish to be on the same page with my man of interest....and, sex, is definitely one of them.
On the other hand, I am not an object for the relief of his tension....I personally have nothing against him using porn for that reason.... I will not be an "enabler" ....he will not be using me.....I agree with you that, in a relationship, I would prefer that all stimulation come from me.
I am amazed at all the different opinions people express in these threads, and, sincerely hope that they are read by folks who wish to do their best to understand those who "do "and those who "don't", and, the wisdom to tell the difference.
Sincerely,
Knittin kitten | |
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| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/29/2008 10:58:21 AM | James...did I miss something? I haven't a clue as to what the "something" is that's physically impossible? Maybe you can enlighten us....I can't be the ONLY one who doesn't get it?
KK | |
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| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/29/2008 11:11:56 AM | Conversations have an ebb & flow. The sex subject can come up, but for me, that is something that can very well wait. Learn about the person. I'm not interested in sex for sex sake. In truth that is cheap & too easy to find. To have the toes curl requires communication, words, actions, being around them. Knowing that you actually like them.
There are so many other things to talk about in emails and phone conversations before meeting. If those subjects are right, they will lead you to where the sex conversation is a natural occurance. | |
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| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/29/2008 11:26:57 AM | First of all class is rarely seen anymore, especially for the under 30 crowd. I've talked to younger girls and they are so sexually aggressive that you know its not their first rodeo and its pretty disrespectful.
Most guys are horn dogs; they are like dogs in heat and their goal in life is to have sex. It's what they see in women, and they will say and do anything to get it. Things have changed so dont' be surprised. | |
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| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/30/2008 5:10:29 AM | This behavior tells me that the person who is doing that isnt someone who isnt really interested in me as a person but what is between my legs and how that can help them.
Gypsycookie:
you are correct in your thought. Such people are just pigs. There are good men out there, keep looking. You will find one.  | |
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rjb888
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Joined: 4/4/2007
Msg: 198 | |
| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/30/2008 6:49:21 AM | The way I see it MOST men do not walk up to a women they don't know and have never met at a party or anyother social place and say "me lick you long time" or "I have a nice big hard surprise for you" then whip it out. So I find it very disrespectful to be told that on line. I immediately shut them down and block/spam them. It's one thing to hear "your very sexy" that tells me they are a healthy sexual man that has enough respect not to offend a women.
I guess maybe I'm out of touch with the NEW way things are. So be it. When it comes to sex talk, or the actual sex it HAS to be on my terms at first after I have met the man and feel comfortable with him. | |
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| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/30/2008 10:18:37 AM | The following was strongly recommended by Miss Manners to help all you poor boys:
"Talking about sex before meeting should be avoided. If she brings it up, do not respond to it. It is disrespectful to be crude. You are trying to show her you are respectable."
"Even after several dates, it is still improper to mention sex, or sexually explicit topics.
You must control yourself and keep your dirty, evil, perverted thoughts to yourself."
"Pinch your testes real hard until they turn purple, or better yet shove a sharp object into your eye to gently serve as a reminder to not talk about boobies, pee-pees, or hoo-haas."
"At date number four, it is still un-acceptable to speak of sexual matters, however it is perfectly acceptable to ( Recall Seinfeld, episode w/Elaine and boyfriend in the car...and when he... "pulled it out" ). So, go ahead and pull it out. She will absolutely be impressed with your ability not to have mentioned sex, whatsoever."
Congratulations! If she doesn't ask you to marry her, then there must be something REALLY wrong with HER! | |
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| Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/30/2008 10:38:01 AM | Just a couple of quick observations:
We men want to have sex with women, before we even meet you.
Men want to have sex with women...
Women want men to WANT to have sex with them, but not NECESSARILY have sex with them.
What strange creatures we are... driven by forces so powerful, yet we don't and can't understand why and how we are who we are. The more I learn, the less I understand.
Truthfully, sometimes I'm ashamed to be a human being. We do so much good and yet so much bad. "Stoop so low, to reach so high". On that note, have a great day!!! | |
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