| Why Is It That Men Wait for Women to Make the First Contact?
Posted: 4/27/2008 12:09:50 AM | | I contact very few women on this site. I make sure they have similer interests and that they are in the same league as me. I get ignored by the majority of them for some reason. Some people believe there must be something that turned them off. I don't believe in many cases that is true. There are a lot of people on this site that are here to pass the time. They don't care to leave their keyboards to meet anybody. It is sad. I feel pity for these people. I just wish they would be more honest in their profiles about why they are on this site. | |
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KEP
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Joined: 1/11/2008
Msg: 27 | |
| Why Is It That Men Wait for Women to Make the First Contact?
Posted: 4/27/2008 5:53:26 AM | Since when could internet dating be considered "traditional"?? It's more like the 4th grade school dance where girls stood on one side and boys on the other, never venturing over until a girl went and dragged them out to dance.
Most new women on here are a bit confused about what they want, when they come on here they get bombarded with emails from every age group of men and they like this newfound attention (even if it is misplaced), so they feel that they can afford to be picky and wait for the "perfect" guy to come along. Well, the fact is nobody who is on this site is perfect or we wouldn't be here.
Like the others I'm tired of no replies or deleted unread and won't make first contact anymore, there's enough frustration in life without adding to it here. | |
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| Why Is It That Men Wait for Women to Make the First Contact?
Posted: 4/27/2008 6:32:48 AM | As far as i know in my experience, its nice to see a lady make some kind of signal that there is some kind of interest so its good for a lady to send out 1st contact. I like Lava Life for the reason you can send a small smiley face 1st and make that initial signal thats its ok to send a message her way or another smiley back. Its not like someone is going to knock your door or anything just send a quick hello how ya doin...and see where it leads. If nothing then move on.  . Good luck  | |
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| Why Is It That Men Wait for Women to Make the First Contact?
Posted: 4/27/2008 9:41:38 AM | I'm with you Drew cnc!
Some people take it way too personally, initially. I don't agree with not responding back to someone who took the time to contact you but if they don't that speaks volumes to me and I just move on.
As for being too fussy Collingwood. I'm not looking for Mr. Perfect because I'm old enough to know he doesn't really exist but I'm not going to settle for someone I don't think I would physically be attracted to either just because I'm on my own. I'm neither desperate nor insecure. Sorry but that's how I see it.
All the best!
BJB
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| Why Is It That Men Wait for Women to Make the First Contact?
Posted: 4/27/2008 9:43:17 AM | I'm with you Drew cnc!
Some people take it way too personally, initially. I don't agree with not responding back to someone who took the time to contact you but if they don't that speaks volumes to me and I just move on.
As for being too fussy Collingwood. I'm not looking for Mr. Perfect because I'm old enough to know he doesn't really exist but I'm not going to settle for someone I don't think I would physically be attracted to either just because I'm on my own. I'm neither desperate nor insecure. Sorry but that's how I see it.
All the best!
BJB
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| Why Is It That Men Wait for Women to Make the First Contact?
Posted: 5/6/2008 7:01:00 AM | Well i guess for me ... i have made the first contact with some men and some respond back some dont. But lately i havent made efforts to read over profiles and contact anyone. Instead i am going to POF parties... but now that summer is here.... who knows what will happen.... time to do some outdoor POF parties... beach volleyball,,, mini putt.... swimming,, camping anyone????
That is what i look forward too......... | |
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| Why Is It That Men Wait for Women to Make the First Contact?
Posted: 5/6/2008 8:39:37 AM | Just discussed this with a g/f last nite. I have found that when I make the first approach, for some reason, the men think it is an invite to get "close and personal". Not my intent at all. Therefore, I refrain from making contact. As far as receiving emails from men? I always make it a point to anser them, even if there is no interest.
Funny thing, internet dating is! | |
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| Why Is It That Men Wait for Women to Make the First Contact?
Posted: 5/6/2008 11:13:54 AM |
I have found that when I make the first approach, for some reason, the men think it is an invite to get "close and personal"
Sad, but true unfortnately, especially in my age group. I guess it comes from the old idea of "nice girls don't pursue men" , whatever the reason, I either meet them at one of our events, or wait till I hear from them. I have just had too many rude encounters to do otherwise now.  | |
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| Why Is It That Men Wait for Women to Make the First Contact?
Posted: 5/6/2008 12:47:47 PM | Celtic hun? Isn't that truly very sad! I feel very much the same way.
Am actually discouraged by all the things that occur on the net. I believe I will meet someone by personal introduction as opposed to the net. And this could be such an awesome venue if used for what it was meant for.... | |
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| Why Is It That Men Wait for Women to Make the First Contact?
Posted: 5/6/2008 8:19:24 PM | Well I say ladies thats A GOOD EXCUSE !
Hahaha!
Well now I do know by reading some of you ladies profiles and seeing some of those tittie pics you post up in your profiles that yes I could see why if you made a first contact with a guy . That he is gonna be thinking you want an F-buddy mate !LOL
And oh yes we see & hear so many women complaining they get lots of emails and some only quickly check who the email is from and if no pic they delete.
And then we also see & hear some women feeling it is a guys job to make first contact and not the ladies !
Look if all us guys are gonna hear is excuses then how the heck can we make contact or let alone try to get to know you????
And No !! I will not send any more first contact emails as done that and no one replies. And I will never send any first contact email in the future !
I refuse to waste my time and just see my well writen email just deleted & not even read !
And if you wish to sit on your sorry ass and miss out on me who the hell cares ladies!
I have better things to do then wait for one of you single ladies to get off your butts and contact me ! No I don't care if you do or don't contact me . I don't let your lazyness spoil my day !
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| Why Is It That Men Wait for Women to Make the First Contact?
Posted: 5/8/2008 10:28:42 AM |
some of you ladies profiles and seeing some of those tittie pics you post up in your profiles that yes I could see why if you made a first contact with a guy . That he is gonna be thinking you want an F-buddy mate !LOL
really/ I check the ladies' profiles on this thread and none had those kind of pics.
And then we also see & hear some women feeling it is a guys job to make first contact and not the ladies !Look if all us guys are gonna hear is excuses then how the heck can we make contact or let alone try to get to know you????
I saw only a few women think it was a man's job, and a few others thought quite the opposite. I have contacted men before and got the "not interested", "read-deleted, no reply", "unread-deleted" etc - what I don't like is the ones who replied thinking I am an easy lay or desperate, because I contacted them first! Some of your fellow men need a change of attutude as I am sure some women do as well, the only difference is I don't condemn all men for the some.
And if you wish to sit on your sorry ass - wrong again - lots of people go to the events POF offers ( one of the really great things about this site) so people can meet in a friendly, fun environment. I choose to go to the events now, so that I can get out and meet people in person. I have met a lot of great people that way, and made a couple of really good friends. It's called networking.
I probably will still send out the odd email if I find a profile really interesting (and no, it doesn't matter if it has a pic or not) - simply because I don't like letting the actions of a few idiots dictate how I live my life.
I do however now say in my profile that I prefer to meet at events and list the ones there that I will be going to.
Finding a date online or in real life, each have their own ups and downs. Life is just too short to let anything stop you from enjoying it.  | |
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| Why Is It That Men Wait for Women to Make the First Contact?
Posted: 5/8/2008 3:05:58 PM | Hey now did I not say some women in my post??
I didn't say any of the ladies in this forum about anything did I??
Well it still shows the same ol excuses are still being made even if some of you are not
willing to say so!LOL
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| Why Is It That Men Wait for Women to Make the First Contact?
Posted: 5/9/2008 6:50:57 AM | | Just like to try and she my insight into this issue. For years I worked as a bartender and have seen it all when it comes to "the pick up". An attractive woman steps up to the bar and within minutes she hears every pickup line/disgusting comment and cheesy compliment one can come up with. The decent(usual more sober) "gentleman" sits at the end of the bar and doesnt make the move even though he wpuld love to. The reason he sees that she has had enough already and he doesnt stand a chance. Now realize if you can the amount of men that, who can be seen and heard by all in thebar, say the things they do with no remorse. Now just imagine how many times that happens in a place with such annonimity as the internet and perhaps you may understand why on here a "nice guy" tends to wait. | |
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| Why Is It That Men Wait for Women to Make the First Contact?
Posted: 5/10/2008 8:19:02 PM | I think its the man who is supposed to make first contact. Way before the internet,
I remember listening to the girls in class or my sister & her friends always saying stuff like "He asked me to a movie or dance" or he asked for my phone#
You know, girl talk.
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| Why Is It That Men Wait for Women to Make the First Contact?
Posted: 5/11/2008 12:25:39 AM | Well asking a lady out is fine or even asking for a phone number or even a different email adress. But if the women don't read the email when a guy sends one how will she know what he sent??
And thats guy talk any where even online ! | |
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| Why Is It That Men Wait for Women to Make the First Contact?
Posted: 5/12/2008 5:48:13 AM | | Actually what seems to be lacking anymore is common courtesy. If someone has taken the time to message you then you should have the courtesy to at least reply and say thank you but your profile isn't what I am looking for. Its takes less then 30 seconds and its means much more to the person who made the contact in the first place then reading ... read/deleted. | |
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| Why Is It That Men Wait for Women to Make the First Contact?
Posted: 5/12/2008 7:01:03 AM | Ah, Grasshopper, but then you get those who take offence to such replies and get verbally abusive. A polite reply may sooth the fragile ego for some, but for others, it is an afront that cannot go unchallenged.
Common anything these days is not all that common. | |
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| Why Is It That Men Wait for Women to Make the First Contact?
Posted: 5/14/2008 9:23:52 AM | Hey Firmbear sounds like you've come up against some rather undesirables or way too populars. I've read many a forum that states some profiles get inundated with msgs and I for one would still reply to all of them but I guess some don't have the time and yes, many may not have the good manners but please don't lump us all into the same melting pot.
I personally tread gently when it comes to others' egos as they're a fragile part of anyones makeup. Especially those that have previously taken a beating which is probably the majority here at POF, including mine.
Having said that, however, I still manage to contact anyone that I feel could be a potential match and also get the full gammot of responses or nonresponses. Whatever their responses I don't let it deter me from doing what I came here to do and that is finding my Mr. Right. And, for me, if there's a nonresponse or deleted msg not read it just tells me that they weren't for me in the first place and that's one more down and hopefully closer to finding the right one.
We're all here for the same reason so go for it, just don't take it so personally. It can hurt if you let it so just don't let it. There are sooooooo many hearts in here aching to be loved, don't let those with other agendas put you off. She could be waiting for you now.
All the best
BJB
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| Why Is It That Men Wait for Women to Make the First Contact?
Posted: 5/14/2008 9:59:42 AM | | The way i look at it......if you sit and wait for the opposite sex to contact you......you might stay single forever.......... give it a chance boys and girls..... start reading some profiles and seeing if there are some that you are interested in....... Drop a line and say hello........you never know what happens next......... GO AND GIFT IT A CHANCE.!!!!!!!!!!!! | |
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| Why Is It That Men Wait for Women to Make the First Contact?
Posted: 5/14/2008 12:06:17 PM | the man makes the first contact....and, frankly, that is the way I like it - as I am perfectly happy being the woman. Any comments or helpful suggestions?
Take a new profile picture showing stacks of beer cases in the background---perhaps on a fishing boat. That's my suggestion.
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| Why Is It That Men Wait for Women to Make the First Contact?
Posted: 5/14/2008 10:13:01 PM | Sorry to her that. No fair that you make an effort and have it turned into something that was not invited.
I do a fair amount of mailing out; I've had a few dates and met some really nice people.
I've also been mailed to. I get more responses from my initial contacts then I do initial contacts from women. From what I've read here though it seems a lot of men feel they mignt as well wait, and I have to agree. YOU GUYS WAIT! I'm going to continue mailing, while they sit on their hand. lol. | |
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| Why Is It That Men Wait for Women to Make the First Contact?
Posted: 5/19/2008 4:39:50 PM | Exotic spirit has very good ideas,but keep in mind men think pretty women get lots of men;that is a bad thought,they are the ones missing out most of time;give them a try and u will be surprised.....I am 56 and we like men to take bull by the horns..Come on make the 1st move,u men of the world....i find that guys that do jump up to the plate first u wont let them walk ur dog...i have made contact 1st with some but i want to see a real guy make a gentleman move...Where are the guys that open doors,ask u for a dance,stand up 4 a women in need...are they the generation that is dead....now u know why i am single..i want a real man thinking with brains..where did all the good ones hide | |
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| Why Is It That Men Wait for Women to Make the First Contact?
Posted: 5/19/2008 5:59:13 PM | Believe me Northern Chick I have sent a lot of 1st contact messages from this site in the 3 years I have been on and off of here. However I refuse to send more then 1 email for 1st contact as I see that as being harassing, not my style. The good guys are all taken or int he process of being taken!   | |
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