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| committed relationship and?? he still is on POF
Posted: 4/17/2008 7:13:43 AM | The statement of the OP that it was a committed relationship for us, it was a committed relationship for you and a manipulation for him. One way to have your cake and eat it too. I'm not sure why folks do this dance, if you want to still look respect the other person enough to be honest and direct.  | |
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| committed relationship and?? he still is on POF
Posted: 4/17/2008 8:04:46 AM | | hmmm.... this is good food for thought. I'm in a similar situation. I've indicated on my profile that I've met someone on the site and focusing on this new relationship, therefore, I'm not fishing in the pond. I have many friends (from POF events) and this is why I keep my profile active. The man I've met from the site has not altered his profile. He's a genuinely honest person and very focused on our relationship but I do find it strange that his profile remains the same. We do live and hour and a half apart. Could it be that he wants to keep his options open? | |
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| committed relationship and?? he still is on POF
Posted: 4/17/2008 8:42:48 AM |
A friend of mine found his profile still there and still very active. .....I think this 'friend' is OP them self . Joins 11/4/2008 and leaves us on 15/4/2008.....Sounds like you (op) didn't trust the guy from the start. | |
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| committed relationship and?? he still is on POF
Posted: 4/17/2008 8:51:49 AM | | This person has no respect for you...Geez, some folks need a lesson in class...Put your profile back on ...See what kind of response you get...I love the ole, "Im in an exclusive relationship and Im only here for the forums"...Hmmmm.... | |
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| committed relationship and?? he still is on POF
Posted: 4/17/2008 9:01:03 AM | | If you're in a commited relationship there is no need for you to have a profile on a dating website, simple as that. The only exception I can see is if you atill want to post on the forums, and in that case you need to amke the proper changes to your profile making people aware that you aren't interested and you need to be upfron and honest with your mate as to what you are doing and what your intentions are. If I was with someone and they were surfing profiles and msging other girls that would be the end of my commited relationship. | |
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| committed relationship and?? he still is on POF
Posted: 4/17/2008 9:02:44 AM | | Some people are actually on here for the forums, the forums is addicting so what? Exclusive doesn't mean you can't have friends. So the guy has to ditch all his friends to be with you? Friendship usually last longer than relationships. Until the guy starts dating other women you can't say he's not committed. Why should he have to delete his profile, if both of you breakup he has to make up another profile and join. Hiding a profile is enough, if you're that really insecure than you don't deserve him. Sorry but people are allowed to socialize and have friends. Maybe you ditch your friends you met online but that doesn't mean he has to ditch his. People usually jump to conclusion way too fast especially women. All you're doing is driving him away by trying to control him, sorry but you will lose. | |
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| committed relationship and?? he still is on POF
Posted: 4/17/2008 9:40:21 AM | So what, if hes cheating in a commited relationship or trying for the catch of the day then its not a relationship. If hes trying to to inflate his ego seeing if someone else is interested, forget him, hes a nut case and needs to grow up. I don't know about women but if hes trying to make himself a bull pen of backups to you then again accept its not a real relationship and date others. How ever if hes just hanging out, chatting, writting in the forums and is honest about his continued involvement on POF you need to discuss it and find a solution, like cancel the subscription or put yours back up. I think you both should agree to include in your profile that you both have met someone and are not interested in meeting anyone else for dating or porking. When you get married you both should cancell your dating services and go on with your lives and thank the service, till then as long as neither of you is being secretive about being on here enjoy the free service. If I were in a commited relationship which was exclusive to 1 woman I would cancell my subscription, why get tempted and ruin it chasing after greener grass.
You should also check other dating sites and see if hes on there advertising himself as single before jumping to any conclusions, if he is, fish or cut bait, BABY! | |
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| committed relationship and?? he still is on POF
Posted: 4/17/2008 9:52:43 AM | | This happened to me (via another site) - we stayed together for a long time and I didn't have a problem with it - if you are commited to someone, trust and respect them and I don't think jealousy should come into it - I have met some lovely people who I still want to keep in contact with... depends on what the reasons ARE for keeping the profile going..... | |
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| committed relationship and?? he still is on POF
Posted: 4/17/2008 11:29:46 AM | CYA!
ditch the douche bag hahah.
just kidding.
talk to him, maybe he will, maybe he won't.
in that case, ask if you could be okay with it, if not, maybe it's time to find someone new. | |
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| committed relationship and?? he still is on POF
Posted: 4/17/2008 11:35:11 AM | fancinanci...Is "Im only here for the forums", the same as "I buy Playboy for the articles"...Darn, "You mean my Dads been lying to me, all these years"...He said, "The articles in Playboy were cool...
To stay on track with the thread, "if your in a committed relationship remove yourself from a dating site...Its simple (respect)...If you like the forums, "thats your call"... | |
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| committed relationship and?? he still is on POF
Posted: 4/19/2008 11:56:05 AM | YOU ARE BEING PLAYED!!!!
Get rid of the guy, and find one that wants you, or live with the fact that you have who knows how many other women in your "committed relationship" | |
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| committed relationship and?? he still is on POF
Posted: 4/19/2008 12:03:05 PM | | Dump him! He is not really interested in u or he would not be on here. He is still meeting and talking with other woman. Don't be played the fool and kick his happy azz to the curb. | |
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| committed relationship and?? he still is on POF
Posted: 4/19/2008 12:03:07 PM |
Is "Im only here for the forums", the same as "I buy Playboy for the articles"
I'm mostly here for the forums. I actually find the dating interface difficult to use and don't bother with it, so while I'm open to meeting someone from PoF, I'm not really looking. I have been enjoying the forums, though.
FWIW, I've never read Playboy, but I'm told the articles CAN be good, and that the pictures aren't nearly racey enough to be worth the cost of the magazine if you're not interested in the articles anyway. ; ) | |
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| committed relationship and?? he still is on POF
Posted: 4/19/2008 12:03:14 PM | | ok so you asked what you should do right? well first of all kick him to the curb, then give my profile a look leave me a message if you are intrested, and we will talk. YOU ARE BEING PLAYED BY HOMEBOY!!!! If he cared he would have deleted his profile or at least stopped using it at the point he felt commited to you. | |
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| committed relationship and?? he still is on POF
Posted: 4/19/2008 12:23:59 PM | I'd say deep six him.
He's playing you for a sucker. Just as there are some women who claim they are in a relationship (or at least sleeping with the guy) , but are still active, still list their goal as "dating" on POF.
The only reason someone would leave their profile up is that they're utilimately not satisfied with what they have and are leaving their options open.
And if they're corresponding with someone else while at the same time sleeping with someone -- in my opinion -- that's like shutting off the engine on the airplane while at cruising altitude: you're eventually going down, and the end result is not going to be pretty.
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| committed relationship and?? he still is on POF
Posted: 4/21/2008 7:02:43 AM | TheS0urce wrote:
****** Some people are actually on here for the forums, the forums is addicting so what? Exclusive doesn't mean you can't have friends. So the guy has to ditch all his friends to be with you? Friendship usually last longer than relationships. Until the guy starts dating other women you can't say he's not committed. Why should he have to delete his profile, if both of you breakup he has to make up another profile and join. Hiding a profile is enough, if you're that really insecure than you don't deserve him. Sorry but people are allowed to socialize and have friends. Maybe you ditch your friends you met online but that doesn't mean he has to ditch his. People usually jump to conclusion way too fast especially women. All you're doing is driving him away by trying to control him, sorry but you will lose. ******
No one is saying you ditch your friends. Why not give them your email address or IM to talk. Why do you have to stay on a dating site where women will continue to contact you?
You make it sound like it's a major chore to create a profile again. It doesn't take that long and if you save the info on your computer you can just copy and paste it back in if your relationship ends.
There was no jumping to conclusions here. Every man I've ever been in a relationship with who swore they only wanted me, was still on the personals and inevitably talking to or even seeing other women. The temptations online are all too real. It's easy to be swayed and especially if some woman comes along with a cam and a penchant to show off the "goods" or offering the attention he likes getting from multiple women.
How does it benefit the man to stay on the personals, make his woman feel insecure, and inevitably keep trust from being built? If he truly loves her, he won't want to be here. He'll hopefully have more to think about than posting on the forums or talking to women who are interested in dating him. If he has friends, he'll talk to them outside of this anyway.... if they really are friends.
In my case, before my last bf and I ever met, he said he would quit the personal if we started to see each other. Why say that if that's not what you want? That's a lie. I think my profile is pretty clear that I'm looking for someone who understands what honesty really is. So lying that way only intensifies any feelings of insecurity and I openly admit I did feel insecure. This guy was telling me I was the one, that he loved me more than he'd ever loved another woman. Then he stayed on here... and I had to question why. Found out later he had been trying to get together with someone and had hoped to meet her at a single's mingle he insisted we go to.
If something doesn't seem right, it probably isn't. I think if you really want a relationship you have to give it every best chance of making it. Staying on the personals is a good way to kill it.
Sharzi | |
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| committed relationship and?? he still is on POF
Posted: 4/21/2008 7:39:34 AM | He is very secretive. When he doesn't get his way-he threatens ! He is now back on as 2 different users. One with a picture and one with out. Beware ladies
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Wow I didnt' read this; your obviously a nice person but come on. Cheaters are secretive; they keep you away from their friendships and family even because they dont want accountability. It's up to you to change it. Do you want someone that lives a secret life?
Your going to eventually have to tell him off or move on. Your acting very insecure and if he threatens you, they tell him c ya; most of us have been there, but you have to be strong. Good luck. | |
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| committed relationship and?? he still is on POF
Posted: 4/21/2008 8:35:01 AM | | The last girl I went out with, I deleted my profile after about 3 days of meeting her (wasnt from on here either so her knowledge of what I do on this site was non-existent) If you are in a relationship and still on here, pretty obvious that you are still looking for a$$. And if a girl does it, she's just looking for an "emotional friend". LOL | |
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| committed relationship and?? he still is on POF
Posted: 4/21/2008 4:42:04 PM | "No one is saying you ditch your friends. Why not give them your email address or IM to talk. Why do you have to stay on a dating site where women will continue to contact you?"
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Good Q, Sharzi. In this particular thread we now know the guy is a double-dealer. But in general, staying on a dating site is bound to raise the suspicion during a "commitment." If one party doesn't like it, then the other one would better get off, because this won't work for very long. | |
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