| stalker or strong interest?
Posted: 5/3/2008 4:37:44 PM | It can be touchy.
Basically, if she really digs you, she'll probably enjoy the attention.
If she doesn't, you're a stalker.
So I guess it's best to know where you stand before laying on too much attention  | |
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| stalker or strong interest?
Posted: 5/3/2008 4:43:25 PM |
A stalker emails and calls and texts constantly
HOLY CRAP!!!! My girlfriend is a STALKER!!! She must be right? I mean she calls me 3-4 times a day, she emails me once or twice a day, and texts me like 15-20 times a day. OMG OMG OMG! What am I gonna do? I had a stalker once, and it lasted nearly 3 years. Oh wait that was my 1st wife. Never mind.
Have fun ;)! | |
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| stalker or strong interest?
Posted: 5/3/2008 9:39:12 PM | I think that there is a big difference between someone showing interest and someone being a stalker. Someone showing interest will be respectful if you say no. They will understand if you are busy and have to change plans, cancel or reschedule. A stalker will get mad at you if you have to cancel, change plans etc.
A person showing interest will wait for you to email them back and not email you asking why you still have not responded to their email. A person showing interest will not be upset if you say you will call at 10 pm but only call at 1010pm. A stalker will call you over and over even if you say you are busy, have company etc.
There is a difference.
Respect boundaries of people and no one should think you are a stalker. Unless you act like one.
~Carrie | |
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| stalker or strong interest?
Posted: 5/10/2008 5:05:33 AM | Carrie, read your profile and you state alot of what people should live by.
Back on topic, stalker is sometimes in the preception of the receiver of the attention. Other times the title is well deserved. | |
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| stalker or strong interest?
Posted: 5/10/2008 10:27:53 AM | | well i'd say a guy who calls every FIVE minutes might be a stalker. had a guy from this site who i met and had a few dates with who would do that to me. you know like he was checking up on me. very needy and insecure. but when i'm in a relationship, i'd like the guy to call at least once a day, i don't think that's asking for too much. | |
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| stalker or strong interest?
Posted: 5/10/2008 11:04:46 AM | | it was as msg2 told u.When a woman or man has made it plain to their pursuer that they do not wish to go any further and that it is not wanted any longer,the others attention,then after that it can be considered stalking if u show up where they r all the time,hang out across from where they work,go to their home all the time watching or attempting to gain entrance either by b&e or by talking ur way inside as in begging or saying something like u need to use the phone or can u have a glass of water.Sending unwanted gifts,going by their families home to talk about them,tailing them,kidnapping,and rape.Now showing interest is pretty much the opposite of these,hope that helps. | |
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| stalker or strong interest?
Posted: 5/10/2008 2:14:18 PM | Different people appreciate different things, so there's no perfect answer.
Basically, if the person likes what you're doing it's fine... if you're not sure, ask. | |
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| stalker or strong interest?
Posted: 5/10/2008 2:17:36 PM | I'd call it annoying! people just cant take a hint sometimes when you are not interested . | |
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| stalker or strong interest?
Posted: 5/10/2008 8:07:11 PM | I couldn't agree more! The word 'stalker' has been overused repeatedly to define someone who simply cares about the other person.
My experience - I went out with a guy for a month, then he suddenly said he's having some health issues and wants to deal with that and step back. Initially, I was hurt and sent him an email about it (basic human instinct - we always think the other person is lying and it was something we did wrong). Also, I called him a few times in the following months, to see how he's doing, and after maybe 3rd or 4th phonecall I heard from mutual friends that he's refering to me as 'his stalker'.
Funny enough, a month after my last phone call to him he started texting and calling me.
Strangely, some people crave attention and use a heavy word like 'stalking' to define genuine concern. | |
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| stalker or strong interest?
Posted: 5/16/2008 7:28:18 PM | I'd call it annoying! people just cant take a hint sometimes when you are not interested .
Guys aren't real good at hints - they tend to need blunt communication.
"Hinting you're not interested" can be interpreted differently.. maybe you're not interested... or maybe you're just playing "hard to get."
If a guy is interested in you he's probably going to go with the second option unless you break it down otherwise ;) | |
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| stalker or strong interest?
Posted: 5/16/2008 11:54:17 PM | ^Agree.
One problem though: some men, even though not stalkers, require a universal signal (the middle finger). That is breaking it down for them... and when this happens, it is the middle road of stalker/strong interest.
These are pre-stalkers.
Otherwise, imo the real deal stalking requires law enforcement and well, strong interest is a compliment. | |
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| stalker or strong interest?
Posted: 5/17/2008 9:02:24 AM | Its used way too loosely and it depends on the wooman's point of view.
To me a stalker would be someone who repeatedly tries to get in touch once you decide you dont like the person.
Some women play hard to get and want guys to chase them, there is no difference between showering the woman with attention when she's doing this and stalking, in both cases the woman will ignore and ignore, the end result will be her reciprocating or going to the police.
Or possibly leading the guy on then kneeing him in the crutch so he gets the right message
There probably just as many loony bins who are desperately lonely as there are genuine romantics who think women want to be chased and believe they are refusing to keep in touch so he *stalks* her because its exciting. | |
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| stalker or strong interest?
Posted: 5/17/2008 9:24:42 AM |
Basically, if she really digs you, she'll probably enjoy the attention.
If she doesn't, you're a stalker.
I had this happen to me when I first joined POF. I made the initial contact and I thought he was very good-looking and had all of the qualities I was looking for and I was interested. But then he began bombarding me with instant messages on my Yahoo email, and also messaging me on the POF im too. At the same time. And he was very very impatient demanding me to chat with him only, telling me to ignore the others while I was online. And this was when I'd just logged onto my pc. IT was soooo annoying. I finally had to tell him that he was harassing me a little and I felt like he was needy and I would not be interested in dating him. He disappeared. He used to complain to me about the women who he'd met here in person and they'd disappear after the first date. He even had a paragraph about that in his profile saying 'you all know who you are'. Like he was chastising the women who chose not to go on a 2nd date. He came off very spoiled and self-centered. I believe he even said he was an only child.  | |
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| stalker or strong interest?
Posted: 5/17/2008 10:14:04 AM | | I've learned... show strong interest, but after a while, delete their number. Let them come to you. After all, they have to be interested too. I've dated lots of people that I was interested in, but they had no interest in me. Let them prove they're interested in you and not a free meal. Think about it. | |
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| stalker or strong interest?
Posted: 5/29/2008 3:30:11 PM | "Strangely, some people crave attention and use a heavy word like 'stalking' to define genuine concern."
Be careful about labeling someone a "stalker." They can sue you for slander or deframation of character. I had to sue someone for calling me one, since it affects my work. Here's my story:
I was hired to do an article on a financial firm. The guy I interviewed was very interested in me and VERY married. I was polite and rebuffed him. Well, the guy went around my job saying I was "stalking" him and one of his cronies wrote about me on his blog. Both were trying to discredit my article on the firm. It cost me a bit for the lawyer, but it was worth it to clear my name.
Stalking is a legal term and you have to be very careful about using it. You are a stalker if you make threats against someone, their family, their friends, and keep showing up where they are. If you have grounds, you can get a restraining order. Police by the way are very suspicious of people complain about "stalkers," since the law has been used to hurt people.
Most people are not stalkers, but just misguided. | |
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| stalker or strong interest?
Posted: 5/29/2008 5:53:19 PM | People seem to want to categorise and pidgeon hole everyone... Yet we are all so different from each other as are our perceptions and understandings of others.
Although relationships come and go, I have been good friends with every lover I have ever had... and they have become lovers in the first place because I cared about them. and unlike some, I cannot switch off my feelings and emotions like turning out a light-switch.... And so, in that feeling of care, I want to know that they are well, and happy in life and so with the advent of easy internet, friends re-united, facebook etc I have caught up with most people from my past. But to actually type a name from the past into a search, makes you feel like a stalker! | |
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| stalker or strong interest?
Posted: 5/30/2008 12:24:21 AM | Stalker - I dated this guy for a couple of months, until he decided to move out of his apartment and live out of his truck (real winner). He would call, and call and call and call until I answered the phone. At the time, I lived with about three or four roommates, two guys and girl my age. He called and I answered, and said I was going out that night, and said, to be nice, well maybe later we'll hang out. "maybe".
My roomies and I went drinking, I was about 21 at the time, came home around 1 am. He was waiting for me in his truck in our parking stall when we got back! My roomie asked him politely to leave.
The next night, we went out again drinking (we were 21), and didn't come back until almost 3 am. The guy was parked around the corner, sleeping in his truck waiting for me to come home! We drove by and didn't say anything to him. He kept calling and calling the next few days.
Finally I answered and he actually asked me to marry him! I thought he was joking, but no, he was serious. So I said, look, you're a nice guy, but I'm not interested and you have to stop calling.
Eventually wound up moving back home and never heard from him again. Now that's stalking. My advice, if you have to ask the difference between the two, then you're most likely border line stalker. | |
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