| Why do women post provocative, yet state that sex is not their desire?
Posted: 6/11/2008 11:12:00 PM | ^^^^ Then why are the responses such photos elicit such a big deal? What's good for the goose, and all that.
> Just because a woman has a sexy photo on her profile it doesn't automatically mean she wants sex
Ok then, since women are into "signaling" and "sending out vibes" and other indirect things, how does a woman who actually wants sex go about things? Dress like that Mormon sect which was in the news recently?
These are rhetorical questions. The answer to the OP's question is just that some women are head cases who are into reducing men to tortured playthings at the end of her psychological string.
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| Why do women post provocative, yet state that sex is not their desire?
Posted: 6/11/2008 11:53:03 PM | Women (and men) are sexual beings. Sems to me that this is an all-too-common malady in our highly sexualized society. You can not turn around today, sometimes literally, without bumping up against some sexual reference or imagery. Many teenagers of the myspace generation think that these images are entirely normal.
You may see provocative pics up, and this is not necessarily an invitation to suddenly get overly familiar with someone. I don't have any provocative pics up, and yet from time to time, I still get highly sexualized emails that are unnecessary and unwelcome. I just delete them without reply.
Sexy pics on a profile have to be juxtaposed with the commentary that is written in the profile. It is usually plainly obvious which individuals are looking primarily for sex, versus those who are posting a sexy pic that is merely indicative of the possibility of what the future might hold. But not only are the cleavage/lingeree shots confusing, so too are the shirtless mirror pics. But they are not necessarily an indication of sexual compulsiveness or sexual wantonness.
No matter what you see in pics, respect is the operative word. While many object to being approached in a hyper-sexual manner, who can object to the respectful approach? If you approached a sexy co-worker in an overly familiar manner, you might expect to get into some difficulty on several levels. Why is internet dating a reason to cast aside that common sense and discretion?
Be well.......... | |
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SGL66
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Joined: 6/7/2008
Msg: 128 | |
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| Why do women post provocative, yet state that sex is not their desire?
Posted: 6/12/2008 3:20:35 AM | I think the main issue today is that people feel that respect is something they're entitlted to for doing nothing more than just existing.
Some people are gonna respect you for freely displaying what is commonly a private side of ourselves, other people are going to find that appalling.
I'm not one of those people that think a thing earned is worth more than a thing given, but when it comes to respect there really is no other way. I'd like to think that if someone has respect for me that I had to do something to attain that cause if not it's just about as meaningless as a gesture can get.
Oh and unless it's a profile that looks like mother teresa herself wrote and designed it, I'm gonna assume that at some point she's gonna get naked and I'm gonna touch her.
Come on, lets be realistic "gettin it on" is a staple of the dating game these days, no need to bust a Captain Obvious moment with trashy pictures best kept for a more private setting.
Don't forget how stupid it looks when a guy has a picture of himself in the mirror with no shirt on. | |
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| Why do women post provocative, yet state that sex is not their desire?
Posted: 6/12/2008 6:23:57 AM | | pictures are like advertising to a guy! show food , we want to eat ; show beer ; we want one; show a truck ; we might want to drive it; show breasts we want to ???? . you get what u advertise.i am sorry for all the ladies out there that get emails from perverts that send notes to women without the skin pictures . at least u know right away about their respect level and move on. happy fishing without catching the suckers or rubber boots!! | |
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| Why do women post provocative, yet state that sex is not their desire?
Posted: 6/12/2008 8:12:19 AM | | Too funny, another guy trying to figure us women out. When will it cease... We have double standards, my friend. The sooner you realize that the wiser you will be! It is ok for us to have double standards but not for you. I'm sticking out my tongue now. Besides if you've got it flaunt it! Isn't that the age old saying. | |
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| Why do women post provocative, yet state that sex is not their desire?
Posted: 6/12/2008 8:15:09 AM | | I tend to avoid people who send mixed signals in the profile. It's as irritating to me as people who write little to nothing. But then, that's me. I'm at the point where I know pretty well what I need, and I don't feel like playing unnecessary guessing games. | |
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| Why do women post provocative, yet state that sex is not their desire?
Posted: 6/17/2008 6:42:48 AM | Hi
I have never posted to a blog. how do you do this?
FEDMAN what is your real name. You talked to me once but I think I live too far away.
I say I am not looking for just sex but then sometimes when you meet someone it is more than expected.
Hey do you tell your height and weight???
Are men allowed to ask that?
Phyllis | |
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| Why do women post provocative, yet state that sex is not their desire?
Posted: 6/17/2008 7:44:24 AM | Not that I am disagreeing with you, Miashakti, but it reminds me of the following parable/joke,
A guy happens upon a friend looking for his keys in the middle of the night under a street lamp. After helping the friend for some time and without finding the keys, the guy says to his friend, "we aren't having any luck, where exactly did you lose your keys?"
To which the friend replies, "Over there in the dark, but the searching is so much easier here in the light." | |
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| Why do women post provocative, yet state that sex is not their desire?
Posted: 6/17/2008 7:47:25 AM |
Could it be that if someone is baiting a hook, they use the bait the fish seem to be biting on?
Then they figure out what to do with the fish later????
Not that I am disagreeing with you, Miashakti, but it reminds me of the following parable/joke,
A guy happens upon a friend looking for his keys in the middle of the night under a street lamp. After helping the friend for some time and without finding the keys, the guy says to his friend, "we aren't having any luck, where exactly did you lose your keys?"
To which the friend replies, "Over there in the dark, but the searching is so much easier here in the light." | |
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| Why do women post provocative, yet state that sex is not their desire?
Posted: 6/17/2008 8:54:01 AM | | Our Kindredspirit aint lyin'....I've heard rumors and gossip about this my whole life....They say that women do this to us just because they can, and they LOVE messin' with us...they can manipulate us fairly easily because of that "blood rush to the wrong head" thingee we have goin' on ( it's a medical condition, noncurable, so I'm told ) ... Men & women are supposed to be from different planets and be soooo opposed in what they want.....be such is really not the case. We all want the same things, we just have different ways of going about them....and most women have more class about it...but, in respect to the double standard....a woman ties her rationale into team, instead of into self and ...and, the talk around the campfire....says that sometimes a guy can use this to manipulate a woman's thinking. Now, this may all be a pile of bushwa...but this is the talk going around. | |
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| Why do women post provocative, yet state that sex is not their desire?
Posted: 6/17/2008 9:45:24 AM |
I'm sorry, but you're marketing is reaching a definite demographic, it's probably best not to complain when they come looking for the product.
Exactly. I have no problem with women posting explicit photos in their profiles. You wanna post pics of your bewbs and booty for the world to see, go for it. No doubt it'll increase your popularity. Just don't be surprised when it attracts the wrong kind of attention. If you go fishing with chum don't complain when you attract more sharks than marlin. ;)
Personally, I tend to click on the profiles with the scantily-clad photos more out of curiosity than genuine interest. Call it my caveman side asserting itself. More often than not, the profiles attached to these photos are pretty lackluster, with the Interests section usually consisting mainly of stuff like "partyin'" or "hot guys". *yawn* Next. | |
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| Why do women post provocative, yet state that sex is not their desire?
Posted: 6/17/2008 10:07:14 AM |
I just posted my photos in the hopes that I would get this gentleman's attention.
And I want sex, I won't lie about it, but I want sex from that gentleman only, too. Does that make my profile and my provocations null and void? Actually, make that 2 gentlemen....
Gentlemen, how do you all know that the women you are blasting for posting tantalizing, seductive and provocative forum posts aren't actually calling attention to themselves, and that the call was just not for you but intended for a specific target? It's all about the dance, isn't it? Courtship is a dance. Seduction is a dance. Sex is a dance.
And believe you me, most of us girls want to dance, except we have a specific dance partner we want.
I think you and some of the other women are misinterpreting the OP's original conundrum. It seems to me that he doesn't have a problem with women posting sexy photos of themselves. He (along with plenty of other guys) just wonders why so many women post the gratuitous boob shots and then complain when they get bombarded with slimy email. You wouldn't walk into a crowded bar in a bikini and expect the creeps to ignore you, why should a public dating site be any different (or worse, considering anonymity tends to shed even the best men's inhibitions and bring to the fore their baser urges)?
I think a lot of women underestimate the effect a sweet smile and beautiful eyes can have on a guy, so they resort to the cheap imagery in the hopes that it'll increase their profile traffic. Personally, I'm much more impressed with an attractive face than a lot of exposed skin. I'm also more likely to take you seriously if my first impression isn't a thrusting chest in a tank top.
Btw UCBerkMaiden, you're a very attractive woman who could easily attract hordes of males just from your face pic. I see you've got some bikini shots in your profile, which is totally cool and you're completely entitled. But surely your "creep mail" must've increased considerably after you added them? This is what guys don't understand; why do women post the skin shots and then complain when they draw in the losers. | |
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rick16
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Joined: 6/24/2008
Msg: 140 | |
| Why do women post provocative, yet state that sex is not their desire?
Posted: 7/8/2008 11:49:46 PM | For me, its simple.
I don't waste time with people who use a system of double standards for themselves and others. It just tells me they don't respect other people. Life's too short to waste on disrespectful, self-centred people...
This site IS called Plenty Of Fish, after all... | |
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| Why do women post provocative, yet state that sex is not their desire?
Posted: 7/9/2008 7:48:49 AM | OK, I haven't time to read umpteen previous pages so forgive if I'm redundant. The answer? Bait. Women are told that men are ruled by their groins so they appeal to that area 
I don't want to have someone fall for me that way. I don't dress to seduce unless there's someone in my life and then I'll dress that way for him. However, I want him to choose me because he's interested in all the rest of me first. Once the groin starts talking, the brain shuts off and you make bad decisions; just because someone makes you hot doesn't mean that person is a good long-term partner. Because of that, it seems silly to me to use seduction to attract people. Then again, maybe some people cast a really wide net hoping that in the 'catch' there'll be one fishy they want to keep | |
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| Why do women post provocative, yet state that sex is not their desire?
Posted: 7/9/2008 7:55:09 AM | ^ The problem with the "bait" is that you catch what you bait the hook for.
The content of the profile needs to say more about the person than the picture if this is how they're going about it. (And most of the profiles I read are 3 lines long. So most of the time they don't.)
The headlines can be the same way. I mean, even if the profile says "long term" -- if you're scantily clad and the headline reads, "Come get me, boys!" ... you're not baiting the hook for what you want to wind up with. (Provided, of course, that what you're really looking for is long term.) | |
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| Why do women post provocative, yet state that sex is not their desire?
Posted: 7/9/2008 9:02:18 AM | This is just a variation on the old joke "it's only sexual harassment if the WRONG guy notices"... LOL
Basically I would guess in part, their posing in a sexually provocative way is their way of attracting the guys they want to be attracted, yet having a way out for the guys they don't want. | |
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| Why do women post provocative, yet state that sex is not their desire?
Posted: 7/9/2008 7:27:26 PM | I seen profiles like that , made me think they must be in desperate need of attention..so what ,ya got tits...big deal...so does every other woman..I dont care for the attention seeking type , they remind me of a little puppy dog running to anyone for reassurance and acceptance...confident women dont need to do that , they have something more valuable then tits....morals and decency...thats what men are looking for when it comes to relationships...not some skanky flirt...they are only good to play with...
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| Why do women post provocative, yet state that sex is not their desire?
Posted: 7/9/2008 8:21:50 PM | | Women post provocative pictures because they want to feel "sexy" just like a man wants to feel "sexy".... women post provocative pictures because they know it will get them more men looking at their profile.....but that doesn't mean they want only sex. | |
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| Why do women post provocative, yet state that sex is not their desire?
Posted: 7/9/2008 8:32:42 PM |
It's pretty simple: because men are VISUAL creatures and this is a competitive market- like ordering off a menu, so the entrees feel the need to be attractive and show "assets".
And with that one answer, she said a mouth full.....Men we have to get your attention somehow, cause I noticed that a good majority of you don't actually read our profiles entirely.....If you did you wouldn't ask the questions that seem to be answered within our profiles at times....
Does it not work the same when you show your assets to us...I am not just talking bodies either....I am talking cars, motorcycles....You display yourselves in other ways, but in a round about way it is the same idea.... | |
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| Why do women post provocative, yet state that sex is not their desire?
Posted: 7/9/2008 11:03:00 PM | My pics show me on my rice rocket. Not to show an asset but to demo at my age I still got some action left in my soul. And still one might say a man of action.
Yes women are from a nother planet as far as my understanding og the lovely creatures.
And yes we men are visual creatures usually ready to get it on.
But for me the revealing pics are maybe just a come on or not.
I will always respond with or without pics to a woman that states an action as simple as she likes dancing, touching and/or kissing.
Ben Franklin said, "All cats are gray in the dark."
Ben was quite the philanderer. | |
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