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| How do you deal with strong feelings for someone who does not feel the same?
Posted: 4/16/2008 11:42:30 PM | Maybe you need to reflect on your history with him seeing that you had been together before this. Why did you break up and who did the breaking? This might be related to what's going on right now with him; distant, wanting to take just one day at a time, evading your questions, etc.
I'm not sure if there's any real way to stop feeling what you're experiencing when with him. I recommend using your free time doing fun and interesting things that you really enjoy...things that make you feel good and fulfilled, etc.
Best of luck. | |
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| How do you deal with strong feelings for someone who does not feel the same?
Posted: 4/17/2008 12:03:07 AM | Hes never been married!!! You've dated him before!!!! you have to ask!!!!
You have answered all your questions yourself. DONT ask about the relationship....will push him away.
Make sure you have a full life of your own. Don't be available everyminiute...You can have strong feelings for him but he has to make the first move in the relationship or it will not work. I would be dating others so your not so focused on him. | |
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| How do you deal with strong feelings for someone who does not feel the same?
Posted: 4/17/2008 7:52:03 AM | Advice is easy to give and yet I suggest you keep in mind that for every problem, there's a thousand opinions from a thousand different people.
That said, if he's 50 and never been married, then unless he's the type that needs a security blanket, than marriage is most likely not his cup of tea.
The one sentence that caught my attention..."When I ask he says things like lets just take one day at a time". Sorry dear but "wanting his cake and eating it to"comes to mind.
I got married at 38 and divorced at 48. As much as I love a good woman, I for one can't imagine being married again. | |
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| How do you deal with strong feelings for someone who does not feel the same?
Posted: 4/17/2008 8:38:29 AM | I think my thoughts are more in line w/Its Margo...She has much wisdom.
YOur feelings for him, love or whatever, should not be dependent upon his feeligns for you. You feel what you feel. Nor are his feelings dependent on yours.
You can't make him love you. You can't rush him. Nor can he stop you.
So ask yourself, can I relax and just enjoy the ride? Can I be content waiting to see what happens without knowing what's in his mind every minute? Can I love him knowing that he may never love me back???
It is a risk. A huge one. And yes, good chance it'll end in heartbreak.
Only you can decide what's right. Obviously if this conversation has happened with him before, asking him again isn't going to help things. Let him be. One day at a time. That's what he needs. If you do love him, show him with your actions, don't throw your love in his face with words.
Don't play games with his mind or with your love. Keep your love pure. It isn't a tool for manipulation. It isn't something you give out like candy.
Good luck...we've all been there. Heck, some of us are there right now...
Kaylie | |
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| How do you deal with strong feelings for someone who does not feel the same?
Posted: 5/7/2008 9:11:45 PM | | listen to your istincts because they are usually right. End it now and find someone who can will reciprocate and give you the passion and consideration that you desere. At 50 if he hasnt been able to commit so far he probably never will and you will waste your time going nowhere and eventually end up alone. Life is to short to wait on a fantasy. | |
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| How do you deal with strong feelings for someone who does not feel the same?
Posted: 5/8/2008 12:36:29 AM | | Men think that women are there to for fill there needs he not looking out for y ou he's looking out for himself! the bottom line is he not gonna commitment I know for a fact. i had a relationship with a aka ***hole and he always threw thing at my face. wont ever admit he was wrong and piss him off at the fact that i wanted to at least talk. you need to just l eave those men alone let them deal with the demons of there past can't make him into a husband if he doesn't show love . that cause there isn't or never will be . there users and hater at the same time " not all some " because after the aftermath i broke some one heart due to me being scared and live you life and if he loves you he 'll be back Love is hard enough to deal with but you ! are the most important some men just want some one to blame for there errors dont get caught up. | |
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| How do you deal with strong feelings for someone who does not feel the same?
Posted: 5/8/2008 1:21:16 AM | quote from OP:"How can you stop having strong feelings for someone till your sure they will recipricate? )
well op u just cant.believe me when u have strong feelings for someone its hard to just turn them off until a certain time or whatever.it doesnt work that way.the best thing to do is usually to stay away from the person cause if u have strong feelings for someone and they dont feel the same way u will only continually get hurt by yourself.and forget about friendship.its impossible to just be friends with someone u are in love with.just stay aquaintance with him and move on.just tell him how u feel and tell him thats the reason.or maybe u can just stay with him or be friends until maybe one day his feelings will become as strong as yours but i dont get the feeling it wil happen.youll just get hurt more for nothing. | |
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| How do you deal with strong feelings for someone who does not feel the same?
Posted: 5/8/2008 1:46:22 AM | Been there! Done that! It's Been 2 years gone and the pain is still there. Maybe it will go away and maybe it won't. Just take each day as it is given to you. Memories last forever. Try to find something good in everything, keep your head up, smile, and remember that you will never please everyone and if you can feel that deeply for someone , there is also someone who will feel as deeply for you. 
Bo | |
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| How do you deal with strong feelings for someone who does not feel the same?
Posted: 5/8/2008 6:48:20 AM | | You should forget about him and move on. You can't make someone feel the same way about you. They either do or they don't. You can't sit around and hope that things change. They have not changed thus far, it is time to move on. I had strong feelings for someone but they were not returned. It was not going to change, why waste time and emotion on someone who does not care for you. Stop talking to him, do not email him, do not read his emails, do not listen to voice mails. Cut yourself off from him. You should not be an option to anyone. Everyone deserves to be a priority with the one they care for. You are not his priority. You broke up before...it ended for a reason. Avoid him, find things to keep you busy and eventually you will be ready for someone else to come along. | |
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| How do you deal with strong feelings for someone who does not feel the same?
Posted: 5/13/2008 10:09:29 AM | The long and short of it is that you cannot stop such feelings! You need to be blunt, if you like him, tell him - the key to a relationship is the ability to communicate so TALK ABOUT IT. At the end of the day, you'll either get a wahoo, lets get serious; or a ummmm, I'm not willing to commit (which at aged 50 and never married is likely). If it's the first then great, get on with it however, if it's the second at least you know. Quit seeing him, go out and meet a bloke that feels the same in return cos 'all you need is love' as a VERY well known person once said!  | |
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| How do you deal with strong feelings for someone who does not feel the same?
Posted: 5/13/2008 10:10:31 AM | | Honestly, it's a matter of taking notice of what you do like and what you don't like. Remember the traits you like about this person and then look for somone who has some of those traits. Otherwise his inability to know where he's at should be a turn off to start with. Personally if he isn't reciprocating it's about you deciding what to do. Do you keep you in place in hope that it'll turn around or do you go your way here. Only answer I can give you on that one is that if waiting on him is hindering you from growing then it's better to move on. | |
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| How do you deal with strong feelings for someone who does not feel the same?
Posted: 5/16/2008 8:25:33 PM | I think you have several choices.
You can break it off, and just suffer till the suffering is over, and you find you don't care anymore.
You can still see him, and just keep your mouth shut and enjoy the moments you have.
You can see him, but tell him you are seeing others also. Then do so. Eventually you might find someone who takes your mind off of him. If that doesn't happen, refer back to number one.
Don't LIE to anyone. | |
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