| would you do this?
Posted: 4/16/2008 7:59:08 PM |
GeminiTwist, Allow me to apologize on behalf of all men.
You don't have that power. Assuming you do is as asinine as her date you are apologizing for... | |
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medana
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Joined: 12/8/2005
Msg: 27 | |
| would you do this?
Posted: 4/16/2008 8:03:23 PM | my feeling is that he thought he could save his evening by changing plans fast. maybe he had another thing going on that eve he had to pass on to be on a date w u, and when he didnt feel the connection figured maybe if he left then he could still pick up on choice #2 for the evening.
might sound cold, but men r more cut n dry and have less finess about emotional stuff, so he could be just poorly raised when it comes down to manners and social behavior
it's rude.
also, ur picture leaves a tremendous amount for the imagination. the only time i would use pics like that would be if i never wanted to meet anyone. u could be 20 or 50 in that pic, u cant see much, baby doll.
it is very hard to predict sexual chemistry, even w good pictures, let alone when they r vague. so i don't think he had bad intentions, just really thought u'd have chemistry. and maybe his mamma just didn't teach him how to behave in public, so he has rough edges when it comes to manners | |
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| would you do this?
Posted: 4/16/2008 9:42:04 PM | I believe men are more to the point, they don't rose colour their opinions, and don't flower it to make it sound pretty. Rejection can be hard for either sex, telling someone politely they're not the one or interested can be harder, and to do it with class & tact is seldom seen.
No matter how he told you, I hope he was decent enough to pay for his half of the meal, and didn't leave you holding the bill. Tacky if he did. I gather he didn't have alot of patience when he felt no connection, and went into straight forward mode.
I believe one day, he will like a lady, and the same thing will happen, until then, chalk it up to experience, with a man who had little class and tact.
Good luck. | |
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| would you do this?
Posted: 4/16/2008 10:37:49 PM | | Sounds a little strange. A gal would have to be pretty rude or obnoxious for me to not finish dinner. (ie: insulting the staff needlessly, or offending people at the next table, showing up wasted, etc, etc, etc..) | |
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| would you do this?
Posted: 4/16/2008 10:41:29 PM | | What I want to know is, why is "self employed" a bad quality? | |
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| would you do this?
Posted: 4/16/2008 10:53:25 PM | | Honestly, its ballsy. He's 41 though...maybe he doesn't want to waste his time. Or maybe you weren't as he pictured you. Maybe he had another date lined up...who knows. All I can say is you should be happy you didn't waste more time hanging around him. | |
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| Tangoing With Finesse?
Posted: 4/17/2008 12:17:57 AM | medana wrote:
...men r more cut n dry and have less finess about emotional stuff...
Unsure I quite understand or even agree with this statement.
I suspect that there are different forms and interpretations of what one might call 'finesse', or lack thereof.
Case in point:
GeminiTwist wrote:
oh and girls - male 41, self empl, bald, enough said.
from profile:
"...I have never been so insulted in my life... I met a guy on here (bald, 41, self employed from Muskoka)..."
This is what I might consider shooting oneself in the foot, and getting bald, self-employed innocent civilians caught in the ricochets. :)
Muskoka's quite specific and may be found by a search... A wee sprig of defamation, bounced off the rim of a glass of finesse? ;)
Presumably, "it takes two to tango" and we are only seeing one side of the dance, and the side I see seems to contain very little of what I might consider 'finesse'-- emotional or otherwise. | |
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| Two ToTango With Finesse
Posted: 4/17/2008 12:26:40 AM | I can't believe the amount of people who have read her "41, self-employed, bald..." comment and saw it as she was downing 41 year olds that are self-employed and bald.
For pete's sake people, she's trying to describe him to warn the other women as to who he is....naming him is against the rules, so she went as far as is allowed.
On topic, I believe he was a little quick to end it, but he was also honest and that should stand for something. I'd also suggest a pic or two that shows ya better. Good luck. | |
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| Tangoing With Finesse?
Posted: 4/17/2008 12:45:38 AM | CliffhangerTX wrote:
...naming him is against the rules, so she went as far as is allowed.
:D
Shall we look him up and invite him over to the thread? ;) | |
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| would you do this?
Posted: 4/17/2008 1:39:18 AM | He sounds very uptight. I mean, no matter who they are, if someone has a gob and a story to tell, it's worth exploring over a meal. Friendships are made through curiosity...obviously he was too up his own arsehole to bother.  | |
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| would you do this?
Posted: 4/17/2008 11:16:01 PM | | You gotta slow down and spend some time on the phone. You learn all sorts of things about people on the phone. | |
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| would you do this?
Posted: 4/17/2008 11:24:06 PM | You had me until the last line. He was a bit of a sh1t for wanting to duck out early, before he ended up paying for dinner. But did you have start attacking men in a general and mean spirited way? Let's here it for a little instant Karma. I would guess that he probably picked up on your attitude. | |
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| would you do this?
Posted: 4/18/2008 3:40:27 AM | | hate gals who are out for a meal or as many free drinks as they can get? maybe this isn't you I don't know anyway a bit of advise stick with a cup of coffee short and sweet if either of you want out easily done. Just walk. harveymassey | |
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| would you do this?
Posted: 4/18/2008 3:44:43 AM | | Id at least have the common courtesy to fill my belly, get blind drunk, sleep with you.......and then decide things are not as Id like them ! | |
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| would you do this?
Posted: 4/18/2008 4:44:50 AM | | OP with your insults of a man who was just trying to be honest with you - is just RUDE and not called for. Maybe he was trying to save you from having to spend anymore time with him - maybe the way you were looking at him with a fine comb - freaked him out. | |
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| would you do this?
Posted: 4/18/2008 4:52:35 AM |
GeminiTwist, Allow me to apologize on behalf of all men.
You don't have that power. Assuming you do is as asinine as her date you are apologizing for...
You don't have the power to remove what he said, so I'm not sure why you bothered. In fact, I'm surprised that you haven't you been kicked off of here for bashing other people in the forums. | |
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| would you do this?
Posted: 4/18/2008 11:08:35 AM | american-soldier msg. #25/#31: "To bash a guy right here On your profile, and you describe him as 41 bald self employed , as if thoise are all bad qualities."
I don't believe she wrote this as disparaging remarks against his appearance, qualities. I believe she wrote them as a warning sign to the rest of the women so that if they come across a profile with these characteristics, to run the other way....or risk being dumped before the entree arrives....let alone, the dessert. 
Re. msg #41: That is mighty "courteous" of you, Peter! LMAO
~ds~ | |
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| would you do this?
Posted: 4/18/2008 3:08:39 PM | Huh, I guess guy describes himself as "honest to a fault" which often also means "completely rude".
I have been in the situation where I felt nothing for the guy, but as a courtesy I can ALWAYS manage to get through a 2-hour dinner with someone. Just because I don't think we can DATE/MATE, it doesn't mean he's a completely worthless human and I can't be civil/nice/and learn from him, does it? | |
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| would you do this?
Posted: 4/18/2008 3:17:50 PM | Stop thinking outside the box - he was unattractive and a shmendrick. Next time go for a good looking guy - if he turns out to be a shmo, well, at least he was good looking
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| would you do this?
Posted: 4/18/2008 4:23:06 PM | | LOL OP. Poor guy. Probably first date he ever been on. You shouldnt be asking why, at least maybe you helped him one step further to go thru with a date. | |
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| Two ToTango With Finesse
Posted: 4/18/2008 6:05:44 PM |
For pete's sake people, she's trying to describe him to warn the other women as to who he is....naming him is against the rules, so she went as far as is allowed.
I didn't take it that way. The "enough said" tagged at the end implies that possessing those qualities makes it self-evident as to what a loser he is. As in, all you'd need to do is say "hey gals, he's 41 and bald!" and they'd all go "oy, yea! That's a loser, that is!"
But that's just me. | |
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| Two ToTango With Finesse
Posted: 4/18/2008 8:04:00 PM | | Next time go for coffee, grow thicker skin, and be grateful he told you rather than lead you on to thinking there would be more of a connection later. Yea maybe it is dishearting when someone just wants to leave rather than finish a dinner, but think of it this way, he saved you a lot of trouble. | |
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| would you do this?
Posted: 4/19/2008 7:50:00 AM | Op your profile says "Ive never been so insulted in my life" and you go on abit about what happend. Frankly I am surprised you havent been insulted more.
It takes a lot of courage to speak open and honest about not wanting to continue with a date, so many of us just suffer through a date while wishing we could simply vanish. He asked you outside to be more private and then explained the situation, whats wrong with that.
I really dont like your comment about 41, self empl, bald as if this is something to be ashamed of. Not classy at all. | |
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| would you do this?
Posted: 4/19/2008 8:28:04 AM | Somehow, I believe there is a lot more to this story than what has been presented.
Sounds like the guy wasn't interested. Although it was rude, he did you a favor. | |
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