| Men and cooking
Posted: 6/25/2008 5:14:43 AM |
Maybe its just the women on this thread. Studies do show women spend more time in the kitchen. But is that them cooking or scoffing down cartons of ice cream?
The majority of chefs are men because men are more willing to take the pressure and have a greater drive for money. They all learned from their moms and grandmothers, you know the decent women who could cook. Women are probably better cooks than men but were more used to cooking for their families than at a restaurant.
I can cook and I do it everyday but if a woman cooked for me, I would feel really special and very privileged. And I'd consider her prime relationship material. For real. | |
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| Men and cooking
Posted: 6/25/2008 5:30:38 AM | I enjoy a man who can cook.
Do you cook? If he cooks do you pay for dinner?
Why should men be doing both? Paying for dinner? And cooking dinner?
I swear to God women are turning into dependent children each day. There used to be a time where they could feed you and you could give them your paycheck and know it would be spent and invested wisely. Now they need a man to feed them and the paycheck lol (wouldn't even dream about doing this). Feminism just dumbed down women, made them less trustworthy and useless. I'm generalizing here. There are the 15% of women who can truly be a partner and not a leech. | |
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| Men and cooking
Posted: 6/25/2008 5:39:57 AM | I swear to God women are turning into dependent children each day. There used to be a time where they could feed you and you could give them your paycheck and know it would be spent and invested wisely. Now they need a man to feed them and the paycheck lol (wouldn't even dream about doing this). Feminism just dumbed down women, made them less trustworthy and useless. I'm generalizing here. There are the 15% of women who can truly be a partner and not a leech.
Wouldn't say they've become leeches but more like men.
Women like that have NOTHING to offer. | |
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| Men and cooking
Posted: 6/25/2008 6:05:35 AM |
The majority of chefs are men because men are more willing to take the pressure and have a greater drive for money.
I disagree and see this as a vast generalization. I know women who are in the culinary profession, and all found it difficult to advance and make a decent living. Some were just in bad kitchens, while others couldn't get past the rampant nepotism. It's key to note that although women have a keener sense of smell than men, the vast number of sommeliers are men. To this day there are French wineries where women aren't allowed near fermenting out of superstition. Supposedly if we're menstruating, we'll turn the wine to vinegar... My point is that some professions haven't moved from the traditional model. This is changing in regards to the culinary world, but it's a slow one.
Why should men be doing both? Paying for dinner? And cooking dinner?
Although I personally cook at a high technical level and take culinary courses for enjoyment, there is a key difference between wanting to cook for a man and having to cook for a man. I always out earn the men I date and don't require them to pay for my meal when we go out. Does this mean he is required to cook for me when we have a meal at home? Of course not, but I deeply appreciate it and find it sexy when he does. And just because I out earn him, doesn't mean I don't cook for him to show affection. I tend to do the cooking since I can't eat processed or high sodium foods often and if I'm cooking for one, I may as well cook for two. The key difference is that we both understand it's a show of appreciation and not a requirement for being in the relationship. Nothing sours a meal like being taken for granted. | |
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| Men and cooking
Posted: 6/25/2008 6:39:19 AM |
I disagree and see this as a vast generalization. I know women who are in the culinary profession, and all found it difficult to advance and make a decent living. Some were just in bad kitchens, while others couldn't get past the rampant nepotism. It's key to note that although women have a keener sense of smell than men, the vast number of sommeliers are men. To this day there are French wineries where women aren't allowed near fermenting out of superstition. Supposedly if we're menstruating, we'll turn the wine to vinegar... My point is that some professions haven't moved from the traditional model. This is changing in regards to the culinary world, but it's a slow one.
Really women can't be allowed in wineries. I have seen that women enjoy less types of food than men and are more picky. But this makes women AMAZING wine testers. Most men can't compete.
always out earn the men I date and don't require them to pay for my meal when we go out. Does this mean he is required to cook for me when we have a meal at home? Of course not, but I deeply appreciate it and find it sexy when he does. And just because I out earn him, doesn't mean I don't cook for him to show affection. I tend to do the cooking since I can't eat processed or high sodium foods often and if I'm cooking for one, I may as well cook for two. The key difference is that we both understand it's a show of appreciation and not a requirement for being in the relationship. Nothing sours a meal like being taken for granted.
So do you pay for your fair share of meals? I'm just saying both parties deserve to be taken out and have meals cooked. The power of food is amazing. Do you know what a pick me up food can be after his long meeting or after her entire day of housework. Both parties should be able to cook for the other. | |
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| Men and cooking
Posted: 6/25/2008 7:18:46 AM |
So do you pay for your fair share of meals?
And who decides what's fair?
When I had a boyfriend (oh so long ago), I would take him out to dinner when the mood struck me. If he was having trouble with a co-worker, I'd take him out for tapas. If he called and sounded stressed, I'd pick up some sashimi from his favorite restaurant and take it to him to cheer him up.
When we went out together, he either paid for himself or I paid for both of us. He never paid for me, but that was my decision not his. I made twice as much as him, and I thought it was silly for him to pay for a meal that would have him eating ramen for a week.
I never felt slighted because he didn't pay for his "fair share of meals". I cooked for him even though when we ate out I either paid for both of us or just myself. I don't keep a scorecard. It's not a gift when you do it with the expectation of receiving something in return. You do it because it brings you joy to do it.
I'm just saying both parties deserve to be taken out and have meals cooked. The power of food is amazing. Do you know what a pick me up food can be after his long meeting or after her entire day of housework. Both parties should be able to cook for the other.
I wouldn't say deserve, so much as its appreciated. A home cooked meal or taking someone out to dinner tends to be a small deposit in the emotional relationship that provides large dividends. I stumbled across its power by accident since I cook all the time. I had a guy over and it was lunch time, so I made lunch. It never crossed my mind not to make enough for him since it's food. Everyone has to eat. When I put it in front of him he gasped, looked up at me, looked down at the food, looked up at me again and said "Thank you" whilst blushing. I completely didn't get it at the time. What was I supposed to do? Not feed someone who is hungry? When I realized that for men sex and food are ways they feel "loved", it wasn't hard for me to accept. It's not for me to decide how another person likes 'hearing' "I love you".
Many women I've spoken to personally don't realize how much men appreciate a home cooked meal. For some women, any action that feels like you're taking on the role of "mother" with your guy equals he's a child or he's going to take advantage of you. I know many women do cook, but all do not do so with a feeling of love so much as "are you happy now?". I do think this lack of understanding is unfortunate, but I can't place it all on women. Men aren't the best communicators. They tend to come from an "its not fair" stand point which is a good way to create loopholes since there are many things that can be thrown right back at them that are "unfair".
Attaching a price to the things you do in a relationship isn't healthy in my opinion. If you're with someone who only wants to show you appreciation in the way they feel are valid and not be a partner to you, then you're in a bad relationship. | |
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| Men and cooking
Posted: 6/25/2008 7:23:47 AM | Many women I've spoken to personally don't realize how much men appreciate a home cooked meal. For some women, any action that feels like you're taking on the role of "mother" with your guy equals he's a child or he's going to take advantage of you. I know many women do cook, but all do not do so with a feeling of love so much as "are you happy now?". I do think this lack of understanding is unfortunate, but I can't place it all on women. Men aren't the best communicators. They tend to come from an "its not fair" stand point which is a good way to create loopholes since there are many things that can be thrown right back at them that are "unfair".
Exactly. Me personally I'm not looking for a mother for me but for any children we might have. I want her to have those motherly instincts intact. I want her to be able to take care of the family like a woman is SUPPOSED to. ****ing stupid feminists around here think that it's a put down to be domesticated but they are soooo wrong. It's actually the ultimate compliment for a woman to take on the real role of the female in a relationship and be GOOD AT IT.
See my post above. Msg 126. | |
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| Men and cooking
Posted: 6/25/2008 7:31:04 AM | Exactly. Me personally I'm not looking for a mother for me but for any children we might have. I want her to have those motherly instincts intact. I want her to be able to take care of the family like a woman is SUPPOSED to. ****ing stupid feminists around here think that it's a put down to be domesticated but they are soooo wrong. It's actually the ultimate compliment for a woman to take on the real role of the female in a relationship and be GOOD AT IT.
See my post above. Msg 126.
Like I said feminism didn't make women stronger. It made them more dependent on men (both in relationships and the male politicians). You could trust a woman with your life back then. Now you can't even trust a woman to have sex with her. She might revoke her consent mid act and declare rape.
I read what some of them write on here and it makes me want to vomit. And they think they are hot shit. They are WORTHLESS as hell and not just as women but as human beings. And you can quote me on that.
Could you tell me what you referencing? What did they say? | |
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| Men and cooking
Posted: 6/25/2008 7:34:16 AM | Like I said feminism didn't make women stronger. It made them more dependent on men (both in relationships and the male politicians). You could trust a woman with your life back then. Now you can't even trust a woman to have sex with her. She might revoke her consent mid act and declare rape.
I read what some of them write on here and it makes me want to vomit. And they think they are hot shit. They are WORTHLESS as hell and not just as women but as human beings. And you can quote me on that. It's like their sole purpose in life is to be dominant over men and to take on a man's role. | |
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| Men and cooking
Posted: 6/25/2008 7:43:56 AM |
Exactly. Me personally I'm not looking for a mother for me but for any children we might have. I want her to have those motherly instincts intact. I want her to be able to take care of the family like a woman is SUPPOSED to. ****ing stupid feminists around here think that it's a put down to be domesticated but they are soooo wrong. It's actually the ultimate compliment for a woman to take on the real role of the female in a relationship and be GOOD AT IT.
I feel I should point out that I am a feminist and what you're detailing is not the work of feminists as a whole. Many forgot the original purpose of the fight and it was never to render men obsolete. I also don't believe that there is a "role of the female in a relationship" or a "role of the male in a relationship" so much as playing to your strengths (whatever those may be), sacrificing and accepting in turn, and working as a cohesive team rather than opponents on a battle field. I am just as fine working at home as I am with my husband working at home while I go to work so long as we both understand we are doing our part for the greater purpose: family.
I understand why some women believe being domesticated is a step down because of the value society places on achievement. It's hard to feel accomplished when your praises are completely unsung. And all men do not take the time to fully appreciate the work it takes to maintain a household. In my eyes, that's just a man you don't want to deal with anyways. And the opinions of society as a whole aren't going to bring me happiness, so I have little use for them.
I think there is considerable grey area between what men believe women are "supposed" to do and what women are happy to do. I'm happy that I don't have to be in a relationship where I'm "supposed" to do certain things or I won't have a place to live since I have no way of supporting myself. I'm appreciative of the fact that when I'm in a relationship it's because I want to be there, rather than I have no choice in the matter. The thing is, I don't demand certain things and offer nothing in return. I don't place a price tag on anything I offer either. I just look to feel appreciated and for him to feel appreciated. How that comes about is a completely personal affair. | |
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| Men and cooking
Posted: 6/25/2008 7:47:09 AM |
render men obsolete.
Men will never be obsolete. Believe me. Even the people who are working on female only reproduction are all men. The process will be invented by men, will have to be maintained by men and could be destroyed by men. | |
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| Men and cooking
Posted: 6/25/2008 7:49:45 AM |
Could you tell me what you referencing? What did they say?
Read around. You'll find it. One thing that I read is one person wants a man to bear a child. And if the relationship doesn't work out, he can keep it. WTF? | |
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| Men and cooking
Posted: 6/25/2008 7:54:55 AM | I feel I should point out that I am a feminist and what you're detailing is not the work of feminists as a whole.
Feminism is out of control and it's gone way beyond it's original intentions. I got no problems with equal pay or employment or things like that but let's be real here. It's destroyed the family unit. | |
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| Men and cooking
Posted: 6/25/2008 7:57:15 AM |
Men will never be obsolete. Believe me. Even the people who are working on female only reproduction are all men. The process will be invented by men, will have to be maintained by men and could be destroyed by men.
You're taking me too literally.
Obsolete in that what they have to offer as not being necessary, not that men won't exist. Women can cook, clean, make money, have sex whenever we want and completely support ourselves. Men are present, but what they have to offer isn't necessary...merely desired. So by rendering men obsolete, you make him worth only as much as he can bring to the table. His money, his attention and his willingness to remove things from her plate. That was not the original purpose. The purpose was to give us a choice, not to render men as less necessary than women. It wasn't supposed to create a see-saw effect, but it has and will unfortunately have repercussions. | |
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| Men and cooking
Posted: 6/25/2008 8:04:57 AM |
I personally love a man who cooks even if it is just BBQ. My late fiance did ALL the cooking at home and a lot at the engine house when he was on duty. He also enjoyed grocery shopping which I do not. He simply loved cooking and I think it was one of his ways of showing love for me by making me breakfast in bed . He'd even make my plate and bring it to me for dinner ( we had a tiny apt and no dining room). He just loved to feed me for some reason. I figure it was just part of the truly nurturing and caring nature that he had in so many ways that came to him naturally.
I wonder if she returned the care. Honestly I need to find a woman like that although I also like to cook. | |
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| Men and cooking
Posted: 6/25/2008 8:06:24 AM |
I personally love a man who cooks even if it is just BBQ. My late fiance did ALL the cooking at home and a lot at the engine house when he was on duty. He also enjoyed grocery shopping which I do not. He simply loved cooking and I think it was one of his ways of showing love for me by making me breakfast in bed . He'd even make my plate and bring it to me for dinner ( we had a tiny apt and no dining room). He just loved to feed me for some reason. I figure it was just part of the truly nurturing and caring nature that he had in so many ways that came to him naturally.
I wonder if she returned the care. Honestly I need to find a woman who likes to do all that although I like that although I also like to cook.
I find men consider women cooking as something loving. Women usually say its just empowering and laugh. | |
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| Men and cooking
Posted: 6/25/2008 9:04:20 AM | | cooking? good. not that hard with a little effort. but maybe dont send out the "how do like your eggs" bit till at least the second message--- ok maybe third if she's old fashioned | |
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| Men and cooking
Posted: 6/25/2008 11:27:38 AM | If a guy cooks?? Fine, no problem. But when i cook, if he tries to change the way i cook my food or interfere, he will learn how a world war will occur. Being i am living alone and love to cook i have gotten to where i love my cooking better than going out.
The dish you spoke of works with me, just better be sure that chicken is not raw at the bone. And realize when you borrow the kitchen, it's a religion it better be as it was before you started your mess. I know i know, i'm a wonderfull person. | |
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| Men and cooking
Posted: 6/26/2008 5:00:47 AM | | Any establishment which would restrict their patrons based on a woman mensrating is barbaric and should no be frequented by decent people. | |
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| Men and cooking
Posted: 6/26/2008 6:08:43 AM | What has happened here!?!
If I thought this was going to be a place where The Battle of The Sexes was going to break out, with the whole discussion turning to feminism and dueling kitchens - I would have had a whole different post in mind.
It seemed to me so simple; I like to eat so I love to cook. I like to eat properly so I cook well.
With some foods being prone to stimulate affections, and with a properly served meal being very romantic - I have posted here regarding the manner in which I enjoy to both cook for and clean up after the whole hurrah.
I am pleased to be able to say that several conversations have resulted and I have made the acquaintance of very pleasent young ladies as a direct result of the previous posts (Go Plenty of Fish!).
As for paying for the meal AND cooking it... I consider it poor form and rather childish to discuss paying for a meal the ingedients of which you want to be of the highest order, so most naturally you would pay for them. I cannot remember the last time I had to even stop and think about whether or not I would pay (probably between highschool and college).
Besides the which it is a "date" why would you not pay for the meal (unless she states a desired involvement) which your romantic interest is going to enjoy - you want the enjoyment to be effortless.
Fellow romantics, man up and throw on those aprons. | |
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| Men and cooking
Posted: 6/26/2008 8:23:19 AM | | No kidding Dreamy..I've been following the thread for a while, not sure what happened...Geez I consider myself a bit of a Feminist in a Feminine sort of way...(Guys, please do not bash me..I am really a nice person..just female) I work outside my home Full time (out of necessity as I too like the creature comforts), am a Full Time Mom, I love to cook and have a Man cook for me, as well as share the kitchen with him...can be fun tag-teaming that chicken and sneaking in a few kisses as the sauces simmer...LOL I guess I consider myself an old-fashioned girl thrown into a modern world, that at times has the sexes battling over silly things...like whose turn is it to load the dishwasher, do the laundry, or cook the meal...If you are in a loving relationship these are things done out of love for your partner, for your family, at least that is my opinion and my approach to life. So to all you Romantics out there..both Men and Women..get cooking!! mmmmmmmmmmmmm and don't forget to kiss the cook!! | |
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| Men and cooking
Posted: 6/26/2008 8:34:14 AM |
.If you are in a loving relationship these are things done out of love for your partner, for your family, at least that is my opinion and my approach to life. So to all you Romantics out there..both Men and Women..get cooking!
Its men doing those things. The dispute is that women expect men to cook for them and pay for dinners out while they scoff down free food. Men almost never get to enjoy an effortless date.
Romantic woman? That's an oxymoron. | |
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| Men and cooking
Posted: 6/26/2008 10:15:03 AM |
Its men doing those things. The dispute is that women expect men to cook for them and pay for dinners out while they scoff down free food. Men almost never get to enjoy an effortless date.
Romantic woman? That's an oxymoron.
john.duke12....No disrespect meant..but as my Grandma used to say "Maybe you are barking up the wrong tree." Sounds like you have encountered the wrong women in your dating experiences, but we are not all like that. I love to cook for a man I am Romantically involved with, the thought of who buys, prepares, or cleans up never crosses my mind..what does is "Will he like what I've chosen for the meal? Will he enjoy each bite I have prepared just for him? Will all of his senses be set on "High Alert"? Did I pick the right wine? mmmmmmmm and many other thoughts that as a lady I will not share with you here. John, do you honestly think there are no Romantic women left in the world? I write Love Poems for the man I am interested in, maybe we should ask him if he thinks I am an "Oxymoron"..... and what are your thoughts on rose petals leading the way to a candlit room? or a Bubble Bath for 2 again surrounded by candlelight? or sitting on the sofa cuddling and kissing for hours? Look deeper my friend, you will find the woman of your dreams..she is out there waiting for you to find her..soften your heart, open it to love.. | |
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| Men and cooking
Posted: 6/27/2008 10:00:04 AM | john.duke12 - where you wrote:
Its men doing those things. The dispute is that women expect men to cook for them and pay for dinners out while they scoff down free food. Men almost never get to enjoy an effortless date.
I guess I gotta little Feminist in me too then, if thats what we need to call it, because
I am all for destroying the "Keep 'en barefoot and in the kitchen" mentatlity we used to hear so much about.
While I promote the traditional role of men and women, it's also a fact that women grow up cooking and cleaning and then go out and earn a living - typically while raising a family.
Seems the thing to do as a gentleman to just treat the lady right.
Romantic woman? That's an oxymoron.
According to most traditional models, women are thought of as being the more romantic because biologically they tend toward using a specific hemisphere of the brain.
Thought about expanding your dating pool? | |
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| Men and cooking
Posted: 6/27/2008 11:03:47 AM | | [qoute]If a guy has enough time to cook a fancy meal and spend all that time adding spices and fancy things, he has too much spare time on his hands and needs to get a job.[/qoute] well maybey the man does have a job and wants to do something special for his woman on a day off. Maybey he is a cheif. I think a man that knows how to cook is pretty cool but it is not a deal braker. | |
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