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| Why can't I get over this guy?
Posted: 4/27/2008 9:31:17 AM | dazz true wat homeboy said karma, but i wont be hursh, the scum bag u wer seen , well, that mother fn sounds juz like a cuzzin i have! i mean he has a wife and kids, but still wants to get around, juss write this stuff makes me want to kick his f,,,, a...., well anyways, i introuduce my ex gurl to him and this stupid scum bag hit up on her, well i guess they hooked up, but i found out cuzz they wer both acting strage, but, the whole point this guy u wer seen makes us guys look bad, dont worrie reason u might be thinking bout him cause maybe he made u feel a certain way or talked tou a certain way, ur feelings for him might be true but his torward u is or was juzz a game, also u sound like a real nice oerson, maybe dazz why this looser seen that and took advantage, a good advice, dont look backwards, look foward! take care of wat u can controll, take care of number one! thats u! dont wear ur heart on ur sleeve! dont worrie freind u will find that man ur looking for! but in the mean while juzz do wat u do best, work,school, watevers juzz dont think bout this dumm sorry sack of s.......t | |
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| Why can't I get over this guy?
Posted: 4/27/2008 9:32:43 AM |
I was going through a VERY difficult time and needed someone to listen Listen to YOURSELF. You NEEDED SOMEONE. Not him....SOMEONE.
Ohhh, so, he IMs and says he loves you....hmmm. News Flash...he didn't have the authority or the right to say that....so it should have been discounted. At that point, you should have asked for his permission slip from his WIFE. You LIED. You told him you didn't want to be "the other woman"...and yet, you made the deliberate and conscious decision to be just that....base on what? LOL! Ohhhh a guy told you he "loves" you right? Well, use you head....if he were this great "friend"...why did he never encourage you to get on with your life...with a man who IS available? Doesn't sound like much of a "friend" to me.
You state that YOU made the advances....doesn't sound to me like you have much respect for him...or for yourself.
You acknowledge his wife's "right and authority"...when it suits you.
Anyway finally we went through some times of arguing and jealousy between us both when he reveals to me his wife had found out. I suggested that we split and he focus on his son and his wife. Even had he ever "belonged" to you in the first place...which he didn't....where do you get the idea that after you sell a car....you get to tell the new owner where he can drive it...and how fast???
He called me twice since that email leaving me voicemails that it was all just for fun and I was acting like a "big baby". He is 100% correct. It was ALL just for fun...and you are acting like a big baby.
Why do I still love this guy? How can I stop? please someone help me. You can help yourself by accepting the fact that you are NOT in love....were never in love....you were in "NEED" and perhaps even in "lust". Love has never been any part of this story.
Why is this bothering me so much? He treated me so badly and I still have feelings for him and it's bugging me. The only person treated badly here was the mans WIFE. You and he abused each other a little by mutual consent. Get over it. First learn to control your OWN bad behaviors....it will make you much more credible when trying to control others...even though it still doesn't give you the right. | |
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| Why can't I get over this guy?
Posted: 4/27/2008 9:43:59 AM |
TO,,black velvet 46,, FIRST OF ALL IT MUST BE NICE TO BE SO PERFECT??? IT MUST BE GREAT TO NEVER MAKE MISTAKES?? IT MUST BE SO NICE TO GO THROUGH LIFE KNOWING ALL,,UMMM,, OR IS IT,,,,THAT THE SAME THING HAPPENED TO YOU IN ONE FORM OR ANOTHER?? IT MUST HAVE BEEN YOU LOST SOMEONE TO ANOTHER WOMAN??UMM, I WONDER.????.
IT MAKES ME SICK TO SEE SO MANY REPLIES TO HER SO BADLY,, SURE SHE SCREWED UP,, WE ALL DO IN ONE WAY OR ANOTHER IN A RELASHIONSHIP. LOL! WOW, now that's a scathing review!!!!
SCREAMED by someone sounding as though they have first hand knowledge about getting caught!!! LOL! | |
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| Why can't I get over this guy?
Posted: 4/27/2008 9:53:50 AM | It may hurt for awhile, but it should. You were married and he was still actively participating in his marriage. Do you have any remorse for going after a married man? He obviously has no remorse for cheating on his wife or even you for that matter. A married man/woman is the wrong person to discuss problems with, especially if it is online.
I would love to be able to tell you how to get over him and how to stop loving him and how to make the pain quit. However, I don't want to and I would like you to own your pain for awhile. The reason? Because for every person who cheats, there is at least one other person who is being cheated on. That person who thinks the spouse is working late or helping a friend.
How do you think his wife would feel if she found out what he was doing?
I bet she's pretty miserable. Way to help her pain, OP. You deserve a medal of honor or something for screwing around and then getting played by the same guy. When the affair ended, did you go back to your husband? Did he forgive you?
I have no sympathy for people who intentionally inflict pain on a person. Especially if it a person cheating in their marriage. I'm sorry this is sounding bitter, but you need to own your actions, wallow in the misery of it, then get on with your life. I guarantee you that you and your adulterer caused his wife many many times to be heartbroken and feel worthless. It's only fair that you (and he) should feel some of her pain.
Liz | |
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hrny
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Joined: 12/31/2006
Msg: 81 | |
| Why can't I get over this guy?
Posted: 4/27/2008 10:15:48 AM | | hyia , i'm sorry to hear about your break up , i have just finished with a girl i have been seeing for nine years , it wasn't a stuation where either of us was married but i took years and years of shit and heart ache after i give her the world , i always suspected she was seeing other people and tried really hard not to beleive it even after catching her with one guy , i finally had enough and finished the relationship realising it wasn't going anywhere after constant rows and arguments , i feel so lonely now and think about her all the time , what ever i am doing or wherever i am i'm thinking what is she doing and it is starting to drive me nuts , i keep thinking have i done the right thing and deep down i know i have but why do i feel so cut up inside , i feel so angry and hurt when i think of everything i did for her it makes me feel like puking , i can understand where you are coming from and how how empty you must feel , i know in time we both will get over this experiance but its the actual getting ther that is killing me at the moment john x | |
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| Why can't I get over this guy?
Posted: 4/27/2008 10:26:01 AM | To mthomjmark
Bravo to you. I think that some men on here that are showing their sensitve side, is trying to get something because they see she is easy prey....
To OP: How dare you come on here, acting like it is his fault, and you are the victim, This is the problem with alot of people, esp women.
Men get away with whatever we allow them to get away with. You allowed him to hurt his wife and son for your own gain, you allowed him to hurt yourself, and if you think, for one minute, that he had any feelings for you, you are more of a fool than you are letting on.
Actions speak louder than words....Did he ever say he is leaving his wife for you, then you felt real good when he said it (even if he did, what makes you think he wouldn't do it to you?)
No person should feel sorry for you, he told you right off the bat that he was married, and then you made the advances.
Does anyone on here really think that a married person will leave their spouse for YOU, please get a clue. | |
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| Why can't I get over this guy?
Posted: 4/27/2008 10:39:51 AM | And there you have it - another "sympathetic" person!
Man, you people really need to locate where your HEART is! I think in her post she's well aware of the fact that she screwed up! God! I can't believe how so many of you can just kick someone when they're down like this! Maybe the OP WAS wrong in posting - GOD FORBID we feel down in the dumps and ask for help or advice! I mean, WHY SHOULD WE?! After all, we ARE all PERFECT SPECIMENS, are we not?!
The ones who are wagging their finger at this woman calling her all sorts of names - God help you should you ever "ef" up in life and beg for mercy! What goes around, comes around people...always remember that! KARMA'S A B-I-T-C-H!! | |
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| Why can't I get over this guy?
Posted: 4/27/2008 11:20:34 AM |
Arlo, I don't think either one of us is right OR wrong. We're just seeing things differently - and hey, like I said before, there's nothing wrong with that. It's just two sets of opinions, that's all.
No, I AM right when I say that someone screwing around with a married man, for an extended time, IS wrong. There's no room for equivocation on that score.
You're right: there's nothing wrong with divergent opinions. However, just because you can SAY it, doesn't lend it any credence.
Oh, and not to paint the guy as a total saint, what the hell was HE doing on here in the first damn place, hmmmmm?!
I agree: he's a bottom-feeder*. However, HE'S not the topic of discussion. The OP wants to know: Why can't (she) get over this guy?
Arlo
(WICKED WITCH OF THE WEST)
SURRENDER, NANCY!!! 
(/WICKED WITCH OF THE WEST)
* whether he's a real person, or just part of a yarn, he's a scum-bag. | |
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| Why can't I get over this guy?
Posted: 4/27/2008 11:28:37 AM |
the OP doesn't sound the least bit sorry for (potentially) wrecking this guy's wife and child's life:
with all due respect Arlo..O.P. did not single handedly wreck the life of this guys wife and child.
No, she didn't. However, she's certainly not innocent of it, just because she wasn't the ONLY one involved. Ever hear of an accessory to a crime?
(actually, she's an active participant, not an accessory)
I am not condoning what she did but she is hurting and wanted to air some dirty laundry.
Just because you CAN say something, doesn't mean you MUST say it. If I wanted the Jerry Springer Show... well, the TV's in the living room.
y'know, assuming that this is a "real" thread, and not one designed as a joke
I happen to think that to assume is "MONUMENTALLY STUPID" .
I have some ocean-front property in Arizona for sale, cheap... 
Arlo | |
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| Why can't I get over this guy?
Posted: 4/27/2008 11:33:53 AM |
Man, you people really need to locate where your HEART is!
You FEEL with your heart; you THINK with your brain.
Arlo | |
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| Why can't I get over this guy?
Posted: 4/27/2008 11:59:49 AM | It's called "warm body syndrome." What you miss is that connection you had. What you miss is all the time spent having something to do, i.e. talking to him all the time. You don't actually miss the person. Because in this case the person is a scumbucket. So it can't possibly be the person...it is, say it with me.... the warm body you miss.
So find a new "warm body." Warm body is a figure of speech. That doesn't necesarily mean it has to be another man or relationhsip. It could be a hobby, or family ,or friends to occupy your new free time. You can do it!!! | |
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| Why can't I get over this guy?
Posted: 4/27/2008 12:55:44 PM | *NancyGooGoo* wrote
And there you have it - another "sympathetic" person!
Yes. There are those who are unempathetic and hit and run Nancy. What makes the world go 'round. Different -ahem, "ways" of thinking, I guess. Takes many different _kinds_.
In any event, no one is perfect and I hope the OP somehow gets easement for her heart. | |
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| Why can't I get over this guy?
Posted: 4/27/2008 1:04:50 PM | | I hope someone can put me on so every one can see this.. I met a man from here on January 9...we talked a few days..intense..he said he wanted a long term relationship with me...it was unbelievable..we met..this man grabbed me and kissed me so passionately..never had that in my life.. great night but short..just at the diner..a little involved but sort of sabotaged it..really mild..I think he thought I was too possessive..He was acting like he felt just the same.. I have been emailing him constantly for 3 months..he hasn't read my messages for a long time so I put the whole message in the subject line.. it is too much..He didn't even give me a chance to find out if we could have a relationship..I just wanted to see him one more time..I have become a crazy stalker! I am not crazy..I just saw something there. Debbie | |
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| Why can't I get over this guy?
Posted: 4/27/2008 4:10:37 PM | And there you have it - another "sympathetic" person!
Man, you people really need to locate where your HEART is! I think in her post she's well aware of the fact that she screwed up! God! I can't believe how so many of you can just kick someone when they're down like this! Maybe the OP WAS wrong in posting - GOD FORBID we feel down in the dumps and ask for help or advice! I mean, WHY SHOULD WE?! After all, we ARE all PERFECT SPECIMENS, are we not?!
The ones who are wagging their finger at this woman calling her all sorts of names - God help you should you ever "ef" up in life and beg for mercy! What goes around, comes around people...always remember that! KARMA'S A B-I-T-C-H!!
*******************
Nancy your totally wrong IMHO; I'm so sick of people doing sleazy things, then asking for sympathy and understanding when they get burned. Your logic in my opinion is ridiculous.
And then when people are so sleazy and they they get mad when people call them on it; when I was 8 years old I would say,"well everyone makes mistakes; you've made mistakes too so give me a break!". This is a grown woman with kids and she flat out screwed up and got what she deserved. If you act sleazy, you get sleazy. She's not a victim.
If I sleep with a woman and I was married, I would call you because somehow you'd feel sorry for me. LOL; good grief. Karma IS a ****; she did something sleazy and she got sleazy back. Your right on.
Calling someone for what they did wrong is not being evil or mean; its being honest and real;
I could care less about the poster to be honest because she did what she did knowingly and to act like she's a victim is embarassing. The victims are the children of these adults that constantly act like horny little immature teenagers without any care for those they hurt because they want to get off or they want to feel comforted. Self absorbed.
When you have children its ALL about them. They should always be first. this lady has little or no remorse; "oh well, i know what I did was wrong, BUT!" There are no buts. you do wrong, you get wronged. | |
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| Why can't I get over this guy?
Posted: 4/27/2008 4:22:49 PM | Surrender to what, Arlo? Being wrong for expressing MY opinion?! Think again, young Skywalker! LOL
You're right in one regard - she IS the one that wants to know why she can't get over this bum, but that doesn't mean we dismiss his sleaziness, either! After all, it's been said time and time again - it takes TWO to tango! She wasn't dancin' this one alone, my friend - HE'S just as guilty as SHE is if you ask me. I refuse to sweep his indiscretions under the rug - no way - no how!! | |
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| Why can't I get over this guy?
Posted: 4/27/2008 4:29:14 PM | Arlo, again...
Yes, you DO feel with your heart and think with your brain. Can't agree with you more there...
But, when your heart speaks LOUDER than your brain, you tend to make mistakes sometimes, which is what this woman did. And, I don't wanna hear how, "oh, this is a woman thing and that it's her fault for falling in this trap"...TOTAL B-S! If there's ONE person here that has NEVER, EVER made an error in judgment when it came to matters of the heart, then only THAT person can afford to stand on a pedestal and throw stones or what have you - but seeing that we're all HERE in search of our "perfect mates", then I'm assuming no such person exists!
Her heart beat a little too loudly for her to comprehend reason - and for THIS she needs to be nailed to a cross??? I think not! But, hey, just MY opinion, right - or am I not entitled to that, either...! | |
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| Why can't I get over this guy?
Posted: 4/27/2008 4:29:25 PM | well he has 3 strikes against him, married , player and liar, dont trust him!!I learned my lesson    | |
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| Why can't I get over this guy?
Posted: 4/27/2008 4:45:29 PM | Mark, I respect the fact that you think my opinion is wrong and that YOU think my logic is ridiculous - nothing wrong with that whatsoever, but I think you're confusing what I'm saying. YOU think I'm condoning what she did - I'm NOT. We ALL know she did wrong - SHE knows she did wrong. All I'm saying is we don't all have to act like we're more superior than she is for MAKING this mistake. Okay, so fine, the rest of us may not go that far in having an affair with a married man/woman, but that doesn't mean people still don't DO it. She was in a bad place and he took advantage of that and although it may seem like he comes out smelling like a rose, SHE'S the one that has to pick up the pieces of what's left of her heart. Who knew that falling in love would be considered SLEAZY?! Hmmm...this must be a new lesson to learn according to you. Sure, we can AVOID falling in love with someone we know is wrong for us, but sometimes it happens anyway. Should we now go to hell for that lack of judgment? Should we now stand in front of the firing squad because we made a mistake? The mistake is heightened because there are children involved - TOTALLY understandable and don't think that's a part of this story that I've forgotten either. But, once again, the mistake was made and she's paying for it with heartache. How long that will last, no one knows for sure and she's the only one that has to deal with it as best she can. But, in the meantime, does that mean we have to make it WORSE for her?! Should she now go around for the rest of her life wearing a giant "A" on her chest?!
This is a case of the vultures coming in for the kill. That's all I see coming from people. I hope these same people - you included, Mark - NEVER, EVER make mistakes because that one time that you do - and you come crying to someone for a little bit of pity and mercy - you may not receive it. See how it feels then. In the meantime, you go right ahead walking that straight and narrow line always being perfect. I hope that works out for you. | |
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| Why can't I get over this guy?
Posted: 4/27/2008 4:52:14 PM | "it takes TWO to tango! She wasn't dancin this one alone, my friend-HE'S just as guilty as SHE is if you ask me. I refuse to sweep his indiscretions under the rug -no way-no how!!!"
I thought only the Op was asking us to look past her indiscretions? I missed the part where her married lover came whining into the forums crying " Ohhhhhh my poor poor heart, please help me, help me, my poor poor heart" .
You keep preaching about "everyone makes mistakes" well some mistakes are bigger than others. If the Op had fell in love with this guy, then found out he was married, even if she had continued seeing him after that, I would be looking at this differently, She would have some sympathy from me under those circumstances.
But the Op went after this guy knowing he was married, not giving a rats ass about the effects her actions would have on his family. I hope Karma keeps biting her in the butt, maybe she will think twice about doing something like that again.
Even now the Op does not look at her relationship with this man as a mistake, She is pissed that he is playing her, nothing more, if she could get him to stop playing her, she would be back in his arms in a New York minute.
You can get down off that soapbox anytime now, The glow off your halo is starting to blind us mortals. | |
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| Why can't I get over this guy?
Posted: 4/27/2008 5:03:15 PM | Even now the Op does not look at her relationship with this man as a mistake, She is pissed that he is playing her, nothing more, if she could get him to stop playing her, she would be back in his arms in a New York minute.
Well, I missed that too............and _I'm_ never too shortsighted to admit when I'm wrong. So, here it is......I was wrong. I retract my above statement. Although, I do stand by my statement that there are some unempathetic people in this world, but that doesn't apply to this thread. Ok, now ...............
OP - _You_ are the one responsible for your own heartbreak. | |
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| Why can't I get over this guy?
Posted: 4/27/2008 5:08:57 PM | You're all heart, Black Velvet 46...
But, I think you've got it wrong (shocker)! It's not ME that's on the soapbox, it's YOU and those who think just like you who are on the soapbox. Does it look like I'm condoning what this woman has done? Re-read everything I've written. She asked for a TINY bit of sympathy - REGARDLESS of her EXTREMELY MAJOR ERROR - and that's all I'd like to give to her. Now, if there's something wrong in THAT, then sue me! YOU don't have to agree and, LIKE MYSELF, you're entitled to YOUR opinion - there's no reason to come AFTER me for it, though. Or have you now regulated some new rule that I'm unaware of.... | |
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| Why can't I get over this guy?
Posted: 4/27/2008 5:11:21 PM | | Uh OP kinda look at it this way, he cheated on his wife with you why would he not cheat on you, maybe it bothers you so much because you thought he would be different with you than he was with her, love dont stop over night, if you dont wanna hear from him, block his emails, change your phone number, you control your self not him, why let him in your life to bring you sadness unless you dont really want him out of your life, once a cheater always a cheater, it dont make it right just because your you, you did this as well, the old saying goes , you reap what you sow and trust me you do ten times over in life. | |
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| Why can't I get over this guy?
Posted: 4/27/2008 5:25:19 PM | " you're entitled to YOUR opinion- there's no reason to come After me for it, though."
when you start using my post as a means of bolstering some weak argument, I take offence. Frankly i could care less what your point of view on the subject is, whatever it is you're entitled to it. But stop preaching to others. You saying i am crucifying the Op pissed me off. You want to give a hug to the Op that's your business, but don't expect everyone else to want to do the same.
That's the beauty of the forums....We all see the same situation through different eyes. You cannot point to one post i made in this thread chastising anyone for giving the Op some love. I only answered your post because you seem to think it's ok to chastise everyone that's not showing the Op any sympathy. THAT'S OUR RIGHT.... Just as it's yours to show her all the love you wish. We can all agree to disagree right?.
Also you keep saying the Op has made a HUGE MAJOR ERROR... Or that she has made a mistake..... Go back and reread her post and tell me where she admits to having make a mistakes being in this relationship with this married man. Show me where she sees the error of her ways and had learned anything at all from this experience.
The sole reason she wrote this thread was to vent about him seeing other women, nothing more, If this married man was faithful to her, we would never have had this thread. | |
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