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| No sex outside marriage? what would you think?
Posted: 4/20/2008 11:09:42 PM | | I would respect your decision. I do not think you are stupid for not being a virgin. I am not a virgin, and it does not bother me at all. Nor do I care when people insult me based on a decision on my part. (I used to be a Catholic my whole life until a few months ago). | |
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| No sex outside marriage? what would you think?
Posted: 4/21/2008 6:16:59 AM | Not having sex is often an issue "during" marriage... and why many may be suspect of the attitude.
But it doesn't really matter why, or if, someone has a problem with a wait until marriage stance... it is ultimately your life, and your choice... and you shouldn't compromise your integrity to please another.
You'll resent them and worse yet, be disappointed in yourself. | |
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| No sex outside marriage? what would you think?
Posted: 4/21/2008 5:53:09 PM | Yeah, it MAY "narrow down your pool of choices" But let's think of this instead as a narrowing of quality verses quantity. I myself am waiting for marriage...I have found some difficulty with this when it comes to dating...because it seems so many people are in a hurry to jump in the sack. It is harder to find someone who believes the same way I do...or at least can RESPECT it but I have found men that are very understanding about it. And I'm not saying there is something wrong with the people who require that intamacy but there is such a thing as being intamate without intercourse.
Yo :) | |
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| No sex outside marriage? what would you think?
Posted: 4/21/2008 7:05:29 PM | it's not stupid, it makes perfect sense. you're a single mother, and perhaps don't want to add another one on your list...so no sex before marriage.
it's a decision, how is it stupid? i can imagine it being more upsetting if you're gonna reach 3rd base and not go any further. | |
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| No sex outside marriage? what would you think?
Posted: 4/21/2008 7:32:55 PM | I dated a woman awhile back who said she did not want to have sex until she was married and she didn't want to marry for 3 years....I told her "good luck with that...bye".  | |
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| No sex outside marriage? what would you think?
Posted: 4/21/2008 10:40:37 PM | | Who cares how all the men in the world would react? If this is a decision that you have made and that you feel comfortable with and in your soul feels right then it is. So what if 100 guys tell you that's stupid they're just trying to get in your pants. The guy for you will not think it's stupid and will love you enough to wait because he'll know it's important to you thus it will be important to him. | |
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| No sex outside marriage? what would you think?
Posted: 4/21/2008 11:25:12 PM | The problem with this is that people who propose this focus on the "sanctity of marriage" and tend to leave out the fact that:
(California)
Marriage is a civil contract under the law (Family Code 300) but unlike other contracts, there's no remedy for a breach of this contract.
II. What Are Some of the Things that can Happen in an Intact Marriage?
A. A spouse can do no work in the house and no work outside the home without legal penalty.
B. A spouse can refuse to have sex with his or her spouse once the marriage is consummated
C. A spouse can have sex with as many other persons as he or she pleases without legal consequences, either during the marriage or at the time of divorce.
D. The non-working spouse can get credit cards and run up huge bills without your knowledge or consent.
It is impossible to attach conditions to a breach of this contract.
What kind of partnership is it that demands people enter a binding contract with NO CONTROL over the conditions and terms associated with it? Throwing yourself on the "mercy of the court" in the State of California is far more repulsive to me at this point in time than having sex outside of "holy matrimony." Now if you can show me how to get the "sanctity of marriage" without the legal garbage that tends to accompany it I'm interested in hearing it...
If you think your sexual organs are so special that someone should have to enter a legally binding contract with virtually no control over its terms or conditions in order to get access to them then good luck to you. I hope you find who/what you are seeking. | |
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| No sex outside marriage? what would you think?
Posted: 4/22/2008 12:48:26 AM | Guys especially, how would you react to this kind of requirement? (N.B going off and having sex with someone else is NOT ok.)
Its your right to have whatever philosophy and standard you wish. i don't think any sane person can make an intelligent argument against it unless your rationale is for reasons that are unhealthy to you. you do limit yourself...mostly to guys who are looking to get laid without real serious emotional attachment. You are certain to weed out the overwhelming number of "players". by regarding your body higher than most you likely will find someone who will cherish and value it more also. my reaction is.....go for it! Its NOT a double standard that you are not a virgin. You are entitled to have a past. I personally have no problem with women who hold that philosophy.  | |
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| No sex outside marriage? what would you think?
Posted: 4/22/2008 3:14:03 AM | i think someone should introduce you to the 21st century to be honest. a marriage certificate wont change the way you feel about someone. married or not, you should have sex with someone when it feels right, not when an out dated religious view tells you its ok to because your married.
if you were to do that, you might as well only have sex when your trying to become pregnant as the church condemns sex that is only for pleasure...thats just my 2 cents, glad i got it off my chest though!!! | |
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| No sex outside marriage? what would you think?
Posted: 4/22/2008 3:26:18 AM | | If a guy tells you it's stupid then right away he's showing a severe lack of respect for you and as such gets tossed either back to the pond or up on the bank so the cats can have at it. If you're serious about your choices for your life then they're not stupid. Stand by your guns, and find someone who respects you. | |
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| No sex outside marriage? what would you think?
Posted: 4/22/2008 1:44:19 PM | m.i.k.
the church condemns sex that is only for pleasure BIBLICAL Christianity says that sex is great, however the only context for its expression is marriage. When married there should be sex on tap - if you read the Song of Solomon (a book in the bible) it is basically erotica, even suggesting positions... | |
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| No sex outside marriage? what would you think?
Posted: 4/22/2008 2:13:32 PM | | OP, it's ok to make this lifestyle choice for yourself, but I think you are really limiting yourself to any opportunity to find a suitable guy for a partner. First it seems your desire to be celibate stems from some sort of religious concept. That really narrows down your pool of guys. Then of the guys who you can locate who have the same sort of religious concept, you have got to find one who matches you on other personality considerations. Then you have to find one who likes you and one that you like. Then you got to be lucky. This really sounds impossible. PoF certainly isn't going to help you find a man that meets your narrow marriage criteria. Good luck with your search. | |
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| No sex outside marriage? what would you think?
Posted: 4/23/2008 9:17:46 AM | well i admire you for it and i believe the same way. the last woman i had sex withw as my ex wife and she will be the last one until im married again. yeah it is hard to find women who can accept this but thats ok. I hear all these woman talk about their hearts getting broke cause all the jerks well in my opinion if women would stop laying down and spreading thier legs with everyone they dated men wwould stop being jerks and after one thing. I here guys brag and laugh to thier buddies about yeah i finally got her to give it up and then they are gone . So if you want the men to want you and love you for who u are and not what is in yoru pants then stop given it to them . Just my opinion sure not popular :)  | |
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| No sex outside marriage? what would you think?
Posted: 4/23/2008 9:37:46 AM | | I'm not religious, and am comfortable with my body and my decisions, so I personally am not going to wait, but kudos to anyone who wants to. I have friends who are waiting, and I have a lot of respect for them. | |
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| No sex outside marriage? what would you think?
Posted: 4/24/2008 9:59:53 AM |
Basically anything past 'first base' is not an option
The contact I would have with a friend/sibling e.g. would be the same level of physical contact.
Which religion is cool w/ siblings getting to "first base"? .................j/k.
You are advocating absolute chastity until marriage. & the guy will have ZERO clue as to if it will be absolute chastity AFTER marriage (other than your word).
Absolutes have a way of thinning out the party, so to speak. I'm sure there is a devoutly religious guy out there who feels the same way......but not many guys in a 'secular' lifestyle will want any part of this scenario.
There are some religious dating sites out there, probably your best bet.....good luck w/ your search.
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| No sex outside marriage? what would you think?
Posted: 5/31/2008 8:19:26 AM | Couldn't have said it better myself.. You have one life to try and get everything right.. Why devote yourself to a God that may or may not exist and live by pre-historic standards, it's 2008..
If you are dating someone and love them you don't need to be married to have sex, it's part of a healthy relationship. In my opinion no sex before marriage is a big joke. | |
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| No sex outside marriage? what would you think?
Posted: 5/31/2008 8:34:38 AM | as everyone said this is your choice. But as anyone will tell you sex is a large part of any relationship. And seeing if your not compatible sexually before being in a committed can only spell disaster.
Part of the chemistry of being with someone is knowing how they react to you in the most intimate moments, this is part of love, so how can you know if youre completely in love with someone if you've only experience part of them? | |
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| No sex outside marriage? what would you think?
Posted: 5/31/2008 11:59:57 PM |
I am a single mother, not a virgin, but for emotional and religious reasons I have decided to go for no sex outside of marriage. Basically anything past 'first base' is not an option. I had one guy who told me that was 'stupid' since I was not a virgin and had been married before.
Guys especially, how would you react to this kind of requirement? (N.B going off and having sex with someone else is NOT ok.)
Personally, I think you ought to do what you think is right and stick to your principles. That being said, I would not date you. Different people want different things and I'm sure there are lots of guys who would date you for for that reason. | |
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| No sex outside marriage? what would you think?
Posted: 6/1/2008 7:06:56 AM | I say you have a right to make your own choices and if anybody else doesn't like it then they can leave you alone.
I personally would not date a woman with that kind of decision, not because of the lack of sex, but I would assume you had some issues and may likely be somewhat dysfunctional. | |
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