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| Is it ok to ask for your wedding ring back after divorce?
Posted: 4/18/2008 8:08:47 PM | Wow, thanks for all the feedback and great advice.
I was not asking for it back due to bitterness or in an attempt to hurt her...I've accepted the divorce and moved on. However, I recently lost my job and I'm strapped for cash and was wondering if the ring would be considered a gift to her, or was it more of a symbol of our love and of the commitment we made to each other to forever be in a elationship...therefore if she chose to no longer be in that relationship then should that "symbol" be returned?
I guess I'll ask her what her plans are for it. I liked the ideas about having the gold and stones made into jewelry for our children...what a neat idea! | |
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| Is it ok to ask for your wedding ring back after divorce?
Posted: 4/18/2008 8:16:34 PM | It almost sounds as though you are using wanting the ring back as lashing out at her. :-S To someone - on the outside looking in - seems rather petty whether it is or not.
Spending time even thinking about such things is negative. Call it energy, vibes, karma, thought, feelings, emotions - whatever. Bottom line - negative energy is not good for you. It will only bring on more.
Let it go and with it - her. | |
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| Is it ok to ask for your wedding ring back after divorce?
Posted: 4/18/2008 8:26:28 PM | | When I decided that I'd had enough abuse in my marriage, I walked under the thought that I'd given more than enough financially, emotionally, and in tears. The engagement ring was very important symbolically, and as such I didn't think that she deserved to retain that symbol as what it represented was no more. The fact that it could be sold at a good five figures didn't hurt in the thought that I wanted it back as well -- to recoup the financial stress from the divorce and supporting a destitute woman for as long as I did. At the end, she saw the writing on the wall, hid the ring, which I'm sure she either has or sold. That's her business -- in the end, she is out of my life which is a gift. No cost, no amount of money, no symbolic reference was too expensive a price for me to have paid to be through with her. Let her go, and let her have the ring. | |
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| Is it ok to ask for your wedding ring back after divorce?
Posted: 4/18/2008 8:36:31 PM | | No you cannot ask for the ring back. Give me a break. You bought it for her so it is hers to keep and do with as she pleases. If that means selling, taking apart and making something new. Time to get on with your life and forget about the ring. That would be being a Indian Giver. What would you do with it? wear it yourself? Sounds like you are spending too much time thinking about 'YOUR EX!" | |
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| Is it ok to ask for your wedding ring back after divorce?
Posted: 4/18/2008 8:45:00 PM | That depends. For instance, are you going to ask for other gifts back from say...friends? "Hey Frank, remember when I bought you that bottle of scotch for Christmas back in '97? Could I collect on that now? I mean, I know it was a gift at the time, but I'd really like to get my money back because I'm a bit short on cash at the moment".
What do you, or did you do for a living? | |
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| Is it ok to ask for your wedding ring back after divorce?
Posted: 4/18/2008 9:40:36 PM |
However, I recently lost my job and I'm strapped for cash and was wondering if the ring would be considered a gift to her, or was it more of a symbol of our love and of the commitment we made to each other to forever be in a elationship...therefore if she chose to no longer be in that relationship then should that "symbol" be returned?
And so the plot thickens! For all your previous expressions of the deeply romantic sentiment attached to this so-called "symbol of your love", I now get the strong sense that this is the symbol you actually have in mind --> $
Look... whether your motivation is really rooted in the many things you've expressed here - romanticism, bitterness, financial need... or a newly-burning desire to provide your children with unnecessary bling - there's no escaping the fact that you're going to look like a petty (and I might add, pitiful) jerk for asking for it back. Think about it. Whatever happened between you two in the past, is that really how you want your ex to see you today? Yeah, I thought not.
So why not be an upstanding guy and take the high road? By letting her keep the ring, you get to keep your dignity. Sounds like a pretty fair trade to me. | |
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| Is it ok to ask for your wedding ring back after divorce?
Posted: 4/19/2008 3:49:38 AM | OP,
*SMH*
"I guess I'll ask her what her plans are for it."
Imagine the look on her face when you do. The next thing that will come out of her mouth, "BAAAAAAH!" And yes, whatever your reason, you will be the butt of many a joke. It's money spent that is now gone and has been gone for years, besides, I think your "monetary need" is a smokescreen for this petty crap you want to pull. Why? Because you said...
"I liked the ideas about having the gold and stones made into jewelry for our children...what a neat idea!"
Yeah, I like that idea too but since it's not my ring, I don't get to make that decision, neither do you. More to the point, if you wanted the ring to help out in hard financial times, 1) you don't have the cash to turn it into a gift for the offspring and, 2) it wouldn't serve the purpose of getting you past a financial bind, if you saved/changed it into a gift for the kids. Now would it?
I think you're being ridiculous and like one poster said, if this was your routine thought process during the marriage, it's not surprising she asked you for a divorce. Sorry, but you are too old to be acting like a child who is mad because he didn't get his way.   | |
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| Is it ok to ask for your wedding ring back after divorce?
Posted: 4/19/2008 4:55:07 AM | Ask for the ring back..are you kidding me...........why on earth would that even come to mind....my ex husband had one also I didn't even think about asking for it back.....I after a few years made it into something else ..... | |
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| Is it ok to ask for your wedding ring back after divorce?
Posted: 4/19/2008 9:58:25 AM | You stated that it was part of the settlement right? Then you agreed that it is hers right? Why in the world would you ever ask for it back now? You may as well just ask for for cash if you are so strapped.
I volunteerly left every piece of jewlery my husband had given me ( 3 pieces) including the ring, left my wedding dress and the wedding album, just so he absolutely knew how over the whole thing I was. | |
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| Is it ok to ask for your wedding ring back after divorce?
Posted: 4/19/2008 10:01:34 AM | First of all I am not sure of the laws are different in different states but I was in IL when my divorce went thru and yes after 12 years of marriage... he tried to get my ring back. He was told that he legally does not have the right to the ring. It is her choice if she decides to give it back. I chose to keep mine.
Second of all... if you are saying you would like the ring due to the fact that you are now strapped for cash I have bad news for you... the ring isn't worth as much as you may think... I tried to sell mine thru several avenues and was told each time that the most I would get for it would be anywhere from $300-$500 which I found insulting as when the ring was purchased the cost of it (and I have the appraisal as well) was almost 3 grand. High quality diamond and a beautiful setting yet I was offered very little for it. I will most likely have it made into some other piece of jewelry as we did not have children that I would pass the ring onto in the future.
Third ... Don't you think she is going to think that this far down the road AND she is now in a new relationship that your request is an act of pettiness? Even if it isn't... that is how it may look...
Sometimes I can't help but think that some people do things like this just to lash out. When my ex couldn't get my ring back he went after another thing he thought would bother me if he took... My computer. I told him that demanding my computer is the equivilent of my demanding his golf clubs in the divorce... I offered to trade and he declined.
Needless to say... some things are better left alone. | |
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| Is it ok to ask for your wedding ring back after divorce?
Posted: 4/19/2008 10:03:31 AM | It was a gift at the time of marriage so no, you can't ask for it back. The only time that I feel is the exception is if it were a family heirloom, and then the time to ask for it back is during or prior to settlement. If you have children, making some jewelry for them and presenting as a token to remember the love that brought them here.  | |
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| Is it ok to ask for your wedding ring back after divorce?
Posted: 4/19/2008 11:39:43 AM | | She may not have kept the ring. I sold both the wedding and engagement rings and the wedding album now rests in a landfill. In order to move forward with your life you have to face the reality that the past is past and it does you no good to cling to it. | |
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| Is it ok to ask for your wedding ring back after divorce?
Posted: 4/19/2008 11:51:32 AM | | I think Jeff Foxworthy would want to add this to his you might be a redneck if line of jokes.lol Stop worrying about her stuff and worry about your own especially since it is settled and done in the eyes of the court.she has moved on so should you. | |
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| Is it ok to ask for your wedding ring back after divorce?
Posted: 4/19/2008 11:56:33 AM | What do you think?
I think some women collect wedding rings, engagement rings, jewelery in general as trophies. It's also like a pension plan.
When it suits them they'll sell the baubles that mean the least when they want to go have sex with a Cabana Boy somewhere warm. | |
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| Is it ok to ask for your wedding ring back after divorce?
Posted: 4/19/2008 12:01:27 PM | | No it remains with the other person that said I do. I keep mine. U asked her to marry u so now it is hers to what she wants. Some people hock em and some people give to their daughter and some people just wear in on the other hand. | |
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| Is it ok to ask for your wedding ring back after divorce?
Posted: 4/19/2008 12:06:32 PM | | Actually there is a law in the books about wedding rings.The engagement ring you can ask for it back if you haven't married her.But once married believe it or not it's roman law.Once married her rings are hers.I melted my ring down and made a personal ring out of it.A reminder to be careful and watch for red flags. | |
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