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| Is it ok to ask for your wedding ring back after divorce?
Posted: 4/19/2008 12:36:41 PM | I know in some states, if the woman breaks off the engagement, SHE has to give up the ring. Not sure if the same applies to the ring and wedding ring. Might want to check out the laws regarding this in your state. Good luck.
Cheryl | |
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| Is it ok to ask for your wedding ring back after divorce?
Posted: 4/19/2008 3:55:44 PM | i'm not nor have ever been married but to me...if you ask her for the wedding ring back it gives a hidden 'i've lost all respect for you' message...
if you dont respect her at all and you dont want to recognize what you had together...i see no problem with it...some divorces end up with the 2 hateing each other which sucks but shit happens...
if you do respect her and the relationship that you had...i think it would be disrespectful to ask for the ring back....but thats just me.. | |
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| Is it ok to ask for your wedding ring back after divorce?
Posted: 4/19/2008 10:00:17 PM | I guess it would depend on how long you had been married... was the first thing that came to mind. And then would you try to give back all the gifts that you have exchanged? How about the kids... who gets them? The dog? I guess I wouldn't count on getting it back nor would I have given it back or expected him to want it back. It was a gift of that time in our lives. Now I did give back the marriage license with VOID printed across the middle. And a thank you note for the divorce. (He cheated) | |
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| Is it ok to ask for your wedding ring back after divorce?
Posted: 4/19/2008 10:06:28 PM | I don't think that is appropriate. It is a gift based on the fact that they will marry you. If they went through with that condition then you have no legal right to that ring and it is 100% tacky to ask for it back | |
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| Is it ok to ask for your wedding ring back after divorce?
Posted: 4/19/2008 10:28:18 PM | moral of the story: never buy a ring that has a significant monetary value.
it's a symbol.
when did the definition of the symbol change? marketers, especially from South Africa to figure out what to do with diamonds back in the 1800s but don't try to use logic on women to understand this, though a few might dwell on the unrelated situation of the exploitation of diamond miners to not desire diamonds (and hopefully gold as well) but doesn't rule out platinum, iridium, and osmium. | |
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| Is it ok to ask for your wedding ring back after divorce?
Posted: 4/19/2008 11:13:45 PM | I saw my wedding ring as a symbol of my committment to my ex. He wore a ring too - with 5 small diamonds in it.
After I left him I could never wear it no matter that the diamond was huge or the reasons why I left him. So what. That's not the point. It was his until he gave it to me and then it was ours. I wore it for us not me. His was ours too.
The OP suggested splitting the diamonds and making something for the kids. After all, they are the good that came out of the marriage. Isn't that an honorable idea and creative too.
He bought the ring with his own money before they were economic partners as a symbol of his request to have her committment to him. She gave her committment to him, wore the ring, then later took her committment back.
Why then would she not voluntarily return the ring too or sell it and invest the money for her kids. What does that ring have to do with her anymore since the committment has nothing to do with her either. If he wants her to have it that's different and that's understandable. But if he prefers his kids to have it I can see why under the circumstances.
On the other hand, if she won't reasily give it back, let it go. That's better for you probably than fighting over it. | |
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| Is it ok to ask for your wedding ring back after divorce?
Posted: 4/19/2008 11:18:23 PM | No you gave it to her when times were good....its like taking a birthday gift back because you had a fight. That sounds petty. I gave my ex a beautiful expensive ring ( cost more than mine) and would never ask for it back ,as I gave it in good faith, even though it didn't work out. The courts would not be on your side if you asked for it back. you both gave each other rings ,now take your marbles and go home...the end. New chapter....move on and quit obsessing that because she has a relationship, don't assume you are entitled to take the gift back. you gave it to her as YOUR commitment...part of committing is giving it fully and never looking back. I have my rings he has his and he wouldn't be so tacky as to ask for it back. Childish notion you have there. Sorry....revenge and sour grapes after a relationship ends, isn't becoming. Move on! Thats what I think! | |
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| Is it ok to ask for your wedding ring back after divorce?
Posted: 4/19/2008 11:51:30 PM | Two carats or above clear diamond, it is ok to ask not really.
"I think this situation absolutely requires... a really futile and stupid gesture... be done on somebody's part. We're just the guys to do it." (animal house)
No ring, no parting gifts... | |
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| Is it ok to ask for your wedding ring back after divorce?
Posted: 4/20/2008 5:30:02 AM | | WTH kind of question is that? Of course you don't ask for the wedding ring back. Why would you want it? Because of the flood of memories that will haunt you whenever you see it? Back one step, I think that if it is a family heirloom on your side, maybe (I stress the word maybe) it's okay to ask for it back. But if you have kids, probably not, as long as it is understood that your ex hand the ring down to one of the children when they get married, preferably a daughter. | |
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| Is it ok to ask for your wedding ring back after divorce?
Posted: 4/20/2008 6:06:06 AM | No, it's amazingly cheap and rude to ask for it back. If she broke off an engagement then it is expected that she return the ring, but if you divorce or YOU break off an engagement the ring is hers to keep.
For first timers: don't buy any ring you cannot pay cash for, never finance an engagement ring!!!! It is a symbol of your love and commitment not your finances or her desire to impress people. | |
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| Is it ok to ask for your wedding ring back after divorce?
Posted: 4/27/2008 2:07:35 PM | Ask for it back... That's so crass. Before the stuff hit the fan, I had purchased a rather nice ring set for the X. It was a gift, so it's hers just as mine is mine to do with whatever I want.
Why would you even consider asking for something like that back? | |
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| Is it ok to ask for your wedding ring back after divorce?
Posted: 4/27/2008 2:20:50 PM | It probably won't be ok from the person that has it.... Here's what's not ok in my deluded wurld....... giving a woman a ring that you will want back...
If you give anyone something you will want back, you are a fukin dolt to the 10th power. | |
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| Is it ok to ask for your wedding ring back after divorce?
Posted: 4/27/2008 2:28:08 PM | OP - it's tacky to ask for the ring back. You may view the ring as a committment "gift" but when you give something to someone, don't expect it back.
When I divorced, I sold my wedding ring and engagement ring. | |
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| Is it ok to ask for your wedding ring back after divorce?
Posted: 4/27/2008 3:19:45 PM | I offered mine back to my ex. His response was simple. I gave them to you, you do with them what you wish. I told him it would be wrong for me to continue wearing them, so he suggested I sell them. So I did.
Sil | |
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| Is it ok to ask for your wedding ring back after divorce?
Posted: 4/29/2008 3:23:45 PM |
Personally whoever asks who to get married and gives a ring, should realize you're giving a ring as a gift symbolizing your intent and promise, and it shouldn't be expected to be returned, particularly not AFTER being married.
However, if a marriage never happens, and the man wants the ring back, it'll likely depend on one or two things. 1.If the woman is kind and is OK with returning it. 2.She has no interest in keeping something symbolizing a relationship that is over.
Sometimes men spend 10's of 1000's of $$$$ on a ring and I have personally met one lady who has been engaged 5 times but never married (she has ALL the rings).
I was engaged once since my divorce and I had purchased an expensive engagement ring. She called off the wedding and I wanted the ring returned. I had to hire an attorney to get it back. Here's what I learned.
In most all of the 50 states, the engagement ring is considered a contract with one exception (see below). If the contract is met (you get married) the engagement ring belongs to the recipient (as does the wedding band). If the contract is terminated (you dont get married) then if the recipient of the ring breaks the contract he/she must return the ring (or loose in court). If the contract is terminated by the ring provider then the recipient is entitled to keep the ring.
The exception is this: If the ring is given as a gift then the ring is to stay with the recipient. Some days are implied "gift days" and these are Christmas, Valentines, recipients birthday etc. Also once the ring provider says its a gift it becomes a gift BUT a recipient cant go busting in to court, there have to be witnesses (more than one) that heard him say it was a gift.
If the ring recipient shows up in court claiming to have "lost the ring" and the court find in favor of the ring providor, the recipient will be held liable for the $$ amount of the ring plus other expenses the court deams necessary (i.e. legal fees).
Wedding bands are considered gifts, they are freely exchanged during the wedding vows and remain the property of the recipient unless otherwise noted in the divorce decree.
The above has been tested in virtually all 50 states and has held and there is sufficient case law to support the position. To my knowledge this has not been challenged at the appelate level.
Yes, I did get MY engagement ring back and I sold it.  | |
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| Is it ok to ask for your wedding ring back after divorce?
Posted: 7/17/2008 2:25:19 PM | Unless its your family's heirloom, its not deemed appropriate to ask for it back. You gave it to her, its hers. If it was your mothers or grand-mothers, I can see in asking for it back.
When I married my ex, I gave him my father's ring that he and my mother had when they got married, along with one I bought him to wear while at work. I asked for my father's ring back, but let him keep the one that I had bought for him.
It's not your choice in what your ex does with it, most commonly they are either sold, or kept in a keepsake box usually given to family members later on in life.
Apparently, you are the one still dwelling on the past. Accept the divorce, move on with your life, remember the good times, learn from the mistakes and bad times, and find someone who makes you feel happy and whole again... But don't dwell on what your ex does with her life, and her choices.... You can only control YOU, not someone else. Live your life and find new happiness!
CowTrucker
Chapman, Kansas | |
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