| Swinging i don't get it!
Posted: 8/22/2008 10:04:32 AM | | I think saying swinging is as safe as typical relationships is far fetched. The more people you have sex with the more chance for STD's. End of story. | |
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| Swinging i don't get it!
Posted: 8/22/2008 10:14:37 AM |
I think saying swinging is as safe as typical relationships is far fetched. The more people you have sex with the more chance for STD's. End of story.
well you can end your story anywhere you want to ....and close your mind any time you want to but ..fact is the kind of people you have sex with is at least as important as the number you have sex with...in respect to STDs
the fact that swingers are open with each other ...diminishes the possibility of the man cheating with street trash,bar flies or paying for prostitutes ...and this makes up a high percentage of the ones that a husband first cheats with ...they are easy to get ...the affair/girl friend... is usually not the first interlude | |
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| Swinging i don't get it!
Posted: 8/22/2008 2:14:28 PM |
the fact that swingers are open with each other ...diminishes the possibility of the man cheating with street trash,bar flies or paying for prostitutes
Then again, you might find that people who are comfortable with casual sex, are more likely to have sex with anybody...
People who have emotional ties to sex are more likely to think it through before they have sex with strangers...
Swingers by and large, have a larger number of partners than the average... Afterall, it's part of the reason to be a swinger.... With greater numbers, you have a greater risk...
I've known swingers who don't cheat... (as far as I know) . I also have known swingers who engaged in extremly risky sex. My G/F was a swinger when she was married... Her husband cheated on her... left her for a married woman he met swinging... she also got a couple of Std's while swinging... so much for condoms...
People cheat because they cheat... not because of their lifestyle or not... | |
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| Swinging i don't get it!
Posted: 8/22/2008 2:37:26 PM | I think saying swinging is as safe as typical relationships is far fetched. The more people you have sex with the more chance for STD's. End of story.
There are other factors that contribute to getting a STD. Who is more likely to have a STD?
A) A person who had 10 sexual partners. But always used protection OR
B) A person who had 5 sexual partners. But never used protection.
I would choose person B. Yes I know it is still possible to get a STD when condoms are used. But the odds are MUCH lower.
A) A person who had 10 sexual partners. But doesn't use any illegal drugs OR
B) A person who had 5 sexual partners. But has shared drug needles.
Once again, I would choose woman B. | |
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| Swinging i don't get it!
Posted: 8/22/2008 4:32:44 PM |
There are other factors that contribute to getting a STD. Who is more likely to have a STD?
A) A person who had 10 sexual partners. But always used protection OR
B) A person who had 5 sexual partners. But never used protection.
I would choose person B. Yes I know it is still possible to get a STD when condoms are used. But the odds are MUCH lower.
A) A person who had 10 sexual partners. But doesn't use any illegal drugs OR
B) A person who had 5 sexual partners. But has shared drug needles.
Why not,
C) A person who had 5 sexual partners. But always uses protection.
and
C) A person who had 5 sexual partners. But doesn't use any illegal drugs. | |
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| Swinging i don't get it!
Posted: 8/22/2008 6:35:54 PM | I dont really get it either to tell ya the truth.... but it might be kinda like eatin' oysters... its
something you dont mind having as a delicacy once in a while!  | |
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| Swinging i don't get it!
Posted: 8/22/2008 7:04:38 PM |
Why not,
C) A person who had 5 sexual partners. But always uses protection.
and
C) A person who had 5 sexual partners. But doesn't use any illegal drugs.
However, you'll never know if you're with A) B) C) or D) a person who was with over 100 partners, did drugs and sporadically used protection, because everyone seems to think it's not cool to ask or to tell the truth if asked...
Hell, you buy a car, and you get a document saying who drove it...
Get a life partner and you're likely to get B/S'ed. Says a lot about society.... | |
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| Swinging i don't get it!
Posted: 8/22/2008 8:39:34 PM | I know a guy, gets home from work for supper, there better be meat, potatoes, & green beans on his plate ...... if the green beans are replaced by peas he FREAKS! His wife always has it there for him and loves the simplicity.
I know another guy, can't stand to see the same meal 2 x in a month (this couple eats out a lot)
Is one couple better than the other? (In the eyes of the local restaurant's owners, maybe)
I'm sure it's been brought up as I haven't read all 14 pages ... but if a relationship's all great except that 1 partner isn't feeling sexually satisfied, do you pitch the whole relationship? or consider other options?
Certainly not a SIMPLE question in any INTELLIGENT person's view. | |
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| Swinging i don't get it!
Posted: 8/23/2008 1:41:46 PM | celts said:A) A person who had 10 sexual partners. But always used protection OR
B) A person who had 5 sexual partners. But never used protection.
I would choose person B. Yes I know it is still possible to get a STD when condoms are used. But the odds are MUCH lower.
A) A person who had 10 sexual partners. But doesn't use any illegal drugs OR
B) A person who had 5 sexual partners. But has shared drug needles.
Once again, I would choose woman B.
THOSE are two of the most ridiculous things I've ever read in the forums and I've read some pretty ridiculous things.
By your argument, if a woman had sex two times with a man who has herpes and USED a condom and another woman had sex once with the same guy WITHOUT a condom, you'd prefer to have sex with the woman who had unprotected sex with Mr. Herpes.
That blows my mind... I'm sure all the women reading this will be getting in line to date you.
James, Port Orchard, Washington, USA, Earth | |
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| Swinging i don't get it!
Posted: 8/23/2008 2:13:57 PM | There is a reason it is called 'playing' it is not the same as sex with your partner.
It is frolicking and enjoying your bodies.
We have times when we are playing then when everyone is gone we are with each other totally and feel very close. You don't feel that same closeness with strangers.
If there are two women it is like she is your girlfriend and you are having fun working on your man.
I think my man is so amazing that I don't mind sharing. I am kind of an exhibitionist too so sex in front of other people in that environment is just totally different.
It is hard to explain the environment in a club - its like there everything goes and you don't mind anything but if a stanger on the elevator whipped his out you would have a fit. Context. | |
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| Swinging i don't get it!
Posted: 8/23/2008 2:30:04 PM |
By your argument, if a woman had sex two times with a man who has herpes and USED a condom and another woman had sex once with the same guy WITHOUT a condom, you'd prefer to have sex with the woman who had unprotected sex with Mr. Herpes.
Well, considering that you can get Herpes from SKIN CONTACT then it's quite likely that with or without the condom, the risk of the woman getting Herpes is about the same. The condom will only afford some protection if it covers an existing Herpes sore. It does not protect against the virus on the skin of the infected partner... ie testicles, hips etc... So possibly the woman who had sex twice with a condom, might in fact be more likely to get it than the one time partner. | |
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| Swinging i don't get it!
Posted: 8/25/2008 2:48:40 PM | I found this to be a very interesting topic - people in the lifestyle trying to explain the attraction to non-participants but it has deteriorated into a statistical analysis of STD risks. Truthfully STDs are not just owned by swingers so why has this question gone off onto this boring track when it can be addressed as a general topic.
Maybe because the non-participants have nothing more to say because they truly don't know what the attraction is and the participants are obviously too busy doing more interesting things. | |
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| Swinging i don't get it!
Posted: 8/25/2008 3:35:38 PM |
(spiceemomme) Its a metaphor Arlo......
I got that. I think it was a poorly-chosen one.
sex is an action ,and love is an emotion..they are very differnt...........
Sure they are...
If I was swinging, my partner would be too......so I wouldnt be dismissing their feelings at all......
But... but, what if your partner didn't want to swing, but was only doing it out of love for you? You wouldn't be "dismissing" his feelings, strictly speaking, but you sure as heck wouldn't be respecting them...
Anyway, this is a pretty foolish topic. If you're gonna swing, just shut up and do it. Don't try to rationalize it. It's like trying to tell Fred Phelps that same-sex marriage is okay.
Arlö  | |
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| Swinging i don't get it!
Posted: 8/25/2008 3:40:14 PM |
(seattlerain1) I agree with the the above sentiment as well, Spiceemomme... I suppose the question here would be why is it whenever the word 'swinging' comes up in a threads subject the usual suspects feel compelled to jump in and spout off about how 'wrong' it is?
YMMV.
While I've seen some of that here, I've also seen abuse directed at people who DON'T think that "swinging" is the pinnacle of relationships.
Arlö (I swing, therefore I am...?) | |
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| Swinging i don't get it!
Posted: 8/27/2008 5:05:26 AM | | i can say as a swinger we always use protection. It is a must most of the time in this community of fellow sex lovers. also the fact that you are disrespecting your partner is wrong it actually builds trust because you are allowing them and they you to have sex in front of each other and know whats going on. which is more disrespectful having sex and cheating and not telling you about it or both of you being open and honest and allowing to happen in front of your very eyes where it can be controlled and is tame? | |
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| Swinging i don't get it!
Posted: 8/27/2008 5:39:26 AM |
(bgrumling) which is more disrespectful having sex and cheating and not telling you about it or both of you being open and honest and allowing to happen in front of your very eyes where it can be controlled and is tame?
*sigh*
Logical fallacy. That's like saying that it's okay to assault someone, because at least you didn't murder them. How about not being disrespectful towards your Significant Other in the first place?
Look: swinging is okay for some people, not okay for others. Still others may be okay (or not okay) with the whole concept, but change their minds after actually experiencing it. And still others may not wanna experience it at all. No one can make a sweeping generalization about "why" swinging is A-OK, or not.
Arlö | |
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| Swinging i don't get it!
Posted: 8/27/2008 11:36:53 AM |
i can say as a swinger we always use protection. It is a must most of the time in this community of fellow sex lovers. also the fact that you are disrespecting your partner is wrong it actually builds trust because you are allowing them and they you to have sex in front of each other and know whats going on. which is more disrespectful having sex and cheating and not telling you about it or both of you being open and honest and allowing to happen in front of your very eyes where it can be controlled and is tame?
Well, if you're already having sex with another person what is there left to trust them about?
Even so, since my G/F was a swinger and her ex hubbie left her for another women, it kind of shoots down the theory that it builds trust... People who are inclined to cheat will cheat whether or not they're swinging... I'd even wonder if they might cheat more as they become more 'casual' about sex. After awhile, casual sex with a stranger may mean little more to them, than a 'handshake' would mean to me...
I agree that swingers generally do use protection, but even the concept of 'protection' is a misnomer... It's not like you cannot get a STD because you're wearing a condom... It's more that you have a lesser chance, but only marginally...
Finally you may not consider it disrespecting your partner, but I'd hardly consider it respecting them either. As my G/F realised, all she was to her hubby was a trade so that some other guy would let him screw his wife...
It took her a few years to realise that she was being used by the men, and that all she was to them was a collection of orifices as she put it. | |
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| Swinging i don't get it!
Posted: 8/29/2008 12:35:22 AM | It just boils down to ''getting permission'' to cheat because you don't want to be with just one person sexually. Then you don't have to feel like you're cheating
Swinging is for people who are sexually attracted to several people. I haven't found that to be true for me - if I'm with someone then I don't really focus on getting some action elsewhere | |
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| Swinging i don't get it!
Posted: 8/29/2008 6:02:45 AM |
I think saying swinging is as safe as typical relationships is far fetched. The more people you have sex with the more chance for STD's. End of story.
That makes no sense and is not a valid arguement against "swinging".
You can be a virgin and have sex for the very first time in your life and contract HIV. Statistically they would say your risk is more related to the type of people you are having sex with vs. the volume.
If you were to go to Nigeria and sleep with 2 people, you're chances are that you have HIV.
If you were to take two populations of 10,000 and lock them up in domes for most of their lives and then merge them together and let those 20,000 people all have sex with each other in a giant free-for-all orgy, you would still have ZERO infection rate. | |
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| Swinging i don't get it!
Posted: 8/29/2008 8:38:37 AM |
That makes no sense and is not a valid arguement against "swinging".
You can be a virgin and have sex for the very first time in your life and contract HIV.
This argument is always thrown around by advocates of swinging. But it is not a valid argument either. Yes, you can contract an STD the first time you have sex.
But the odds are significantly against it. Whereas, the greater the number of people you have sex with, the better the odds that one of those people will have an STD... It's like playing russian roulette, the more bullets in the gun, the greater likelihood of brain damage...
Statistically they would say your risk is more related to the type of people you are having sex with vs. the volume.
I agree, the type of people you are having sex with is a factor. If you have sex with people who have sex with a larger number of partners than the 'norm' then again you significantly increase the odds of getting an STD... Swingers by and large do have sex with a much greater number of partners than the average person. Swingers also have a much greater chance of having sex wth people who in themselves have had sex with a much greater than average number of partners...
The argument that swingers practice 'safe sex' is also false. First off, it's 'safer sex' not 'safe sex'. Granted, for the most part swingers use condoms etc, but that argument presupposes the rest of the population doesn't.
Each partner, regardless of 'protection' or not, is an increased and exponential statistical risk. There is no getting around it... | |
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| Swinging i don't get it!
Posted: 8/29/2008 1:43:24 PM | A) A person who had 10 sexual partners. But always used protection OR
B) A person who had 5 sexual partners. But never used protection.
I would choose person B. Yes I know it is still possible to get a STD when condoms are used. But the odds are MUCH lower.
A) A person who had 10 sexual partners. But doesn't use any illegal drugs OR
B) A person who had 5 sexual partners. But has shared drug needles.
Once again, I would choose woman B.
THOSE are two of the most ridiculous things I've ever read in the forums and I've read some pretty ridiculous things.
By your argument, if a woman had sex two times with a man who has herpes and USED a condom and another woman had sex once with the same guy WITHOUT a condom, you'd prefer to have sex with the woman who had unprotected sex with Mr. Herpes.
That blows my mind... I'm sure all the women reading this will be getting in line to date you.
That was a typo on my part. I meant to write that I would choose woman A for both examples. | |
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| Swinging i don't get it!
Posted: 9/30/2008 9:32:45 AM | Interesting reading here. I guess everyone has their own opinion and hey that is okay too. Swinging is not for everyone, some people really get off on sharing or swinging and some don't. I can tell you that as a young single girl I always get married couples both younger and older wanting to expand their sex life, it usually starts by wanting a FFM threesome and often goes further. I have been involved with several married couples and most of them have moved on to experience and enjoy MMF threesomes and later sharing or swapping. As for me I love it but then I am naughty, sex is great and more then one person involved makes it even better.  | |
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| Swinging i don't get it!
Posted: 9/30/2008 10:00:41 AM | Well first you must under stand that people have different types of fetishes, some really enjoy seeing their partner engaged in contacted with others. the flip side is that ones
sexual activity at the home may not be outstanding, so they usually try to suggest swinging
as a new way of attraction to his or her mate. Women are not the best at accepting this kind
of behavior, being that men are a little better at seeing the difference between love and sex. | |
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7070J
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Joined: 9/24/2008
Msg: 349 | |
| Swinging i don't get it!
Posted: 9/30/2008 10:21:29 AM | | sex is not love , its just that simple ,, example . your married , your husband is in a car accident , hes paralyzed , you still love him .... but cannot have sex due to his disability . But your body still requires its appetites taken care of , so you have sex with a co worker ,,, does this change how much u love your husband ??? swingers are people who can have sex with multiple people , and yet still love only theior spouse , gf , life partner etc !!! | |
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| Swinging i don't get it!
Posted: 9/30/2008 10:35:21 AM |
sex is not love , its just that simple ,, example . your married , your husband is in a car accident , hes paralyzed , you still love him .... but cannot have sex due to his disability . But your body still requires its appetites taken care of , so you have sex with a co worker ,,, does this change how much u love your husband ??? swingers are people who can have sex with multiple people , and yet still love only theior spouse , gf , life partner etc !!!
You could take that argument then to;
1... You're too fat/ugly/skinny to have sex with, I need to have my appetites taken care of...
2... You no longer turn me on sexually, I need to have my appetites taken care of...
3... You aren't good enough sexually, I need to have my appetites taken care of...
4... I need to have my appetites taken care of... | |
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