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| | Swinging i don't get it!Page 26 of 27 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27) | | Personally, I've not indulged, but I do not believe I have the right to judge anyone else's behaviour. Consenting adults should feel free to do whatever they choose as long as it is legal, of their OWN free will, and does not infringe on the rights of others. | |
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| Swinging i don't get it!
Posted: 6/6/2009 11:23:30 AM | This said it all...I agree...I understand polyamorous people and I also can understand monogamous people, as been said time and time again "different strokes for different folks". I have known many swinging couples that have had a long marriage and are still married and still love each other very much. They are the epitomy of finding a truly 'compatible' love for one another. It's very rare but also very special type of bond/love.
Sex and love are not interconnected for everyone. Sex is sex and love is love. My relationship is in no way threatened because of mine or my partners relationship with someone eles. Honestly, I don't see why people get bent out of shape because their partner is attracted to (or they are attracted to) someone else. So, you don't get swingers or polyamorous people and I don't really get monogomous people. | |
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| Swinging i don't get it!
Posted: 6/6/2009 11:26:54 AM | | I can't say I have done this but I do like swingers clubs. The men I have been with we are not in love so I can't speak for people that are in love and do it either. You don't even have to be with other people just watch and be together. It would not be love making it would be sexual pleasure! You would never understand unless u went to one and saw what they were like. | |
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| Swinging i don't get it!
Posted: 6/6/2009 1:17:00 PM |
I'm a swinger and I don't even understand it all.
I would never swing with anyone I cared about. I cannot imagine letting some bloke stick his****up my woman's cunny just to get his rocks off.
Chancelore, you're not a swinger. Please stop pretending to be one.
You're a****ess man who claims to like getting BJ. | |
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| Swinging i don't get it!
Posted: 6/6/2009 2:44:03 PM | Since I get hate mail for some of my postings I will simply say this....There are alot of things in life I choose not to do....alot of things I dont believe in...But its not my RIGHT to judge anyone for anything they do as long as it doesnt hurt me or my family. Saying that I will add this....I have been in a loving incredible marriage for 11 yrs. We also understand there can be a difference in love/lust.
When one chooses to share the experience it can be incredible and erotic. Probably hard for some to understand but it does bring you closer to the one you love IF your in it for the right reason and not trying to fix something that is broken or trying to bring something into a marriage that is lacking.
I would never criticize someone else for what they do or believe in. Thats their right. Nor would I judge them. I only wish everyone felt the same. Why someone belittles someone else for their lifestyle choice or sexual preference I dont understand.
So, I am sure to get slammed with negative on this post but thats okay. Thats their right to how they feel same as its my right to feel how I do.
Melody----Off to a meet and greet. | |
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| Swinging i don't get it!
Posted: 6/6/2009 8:01:53 PM |
When you are in love you shoulden't even want any one else . Sex and all!
You are still reading from an old book! Times have changed, people have changed!
How can you say you love your husband or wife , but yet beable to share your love making with other people? When you really and truley love one person you don't want someone else touching them in that way. I'am lost on this i just don't get it!
If you don't get it then its not meant for you to get it. If you don't get it....Don't do it! Don't even think about it! Then you won't be lost! | |
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| Swinging i don't get it!
Posted: 6/6/2009 9:27:20 PM |
You are still reading from an old book! Times have changed, people have changed!
Ummm no they haven't...
Even the ancient Romans had orgies... it's nothing new. just same old same old... always was some group that could justify whatever sex behaviour and pretend it's the new thing....
However, monogamy is still going strong.... must be a reason for it.... | |
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| Swinging i don't get it!
Posted: 6/6/2009 9:29:07 PM |
Ummm no they haven't...
Even the ancient Romans had orgies... it's nothing new. just same old same old... always was some group that could justify whatever sex behaviour and pretend it's the new thing....
Good point! | |
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| Swinging i don't get it!
Posted: 6/6/2009 11:22:42 PM | | I understand this concept all to well, someone I met that I consider my soul mate (the timing is off though) is just now exploring the idea of this with her current husband. She's told me about it a little, etc. and they did agree to do exactly this. I think it should turn out well for them each, and I hope it will end her trying to get any closer with myself. It's not because I mind this idea either, but I feel if I were to be in her life it would interfere with her exploration of it. I can already see her becoming more close to me even in the short time we spend together, personally I'd rather meet her 4-5 years from now when it's out of her system and she's ready for something more special (that only a soul mate can provide). Although I've thought in the past I'd meet people again and never have, so in this case it's bad timing and we'll part very soon I expect (I'm only her friend). | |
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| Swinging i don't get it!
Posted: 6/7/2009 1:09:38 AM | ive never understood it either. when i was 18, ive been offered to go to swinging clubs and i was gonna go but the guys didnt wanna pay for themselves and chickened out! ive had cpls online wanted me to swing with them but they werent honest, real, horrible communication, etc so i said **** swinging.
someone i know from hs is doin swinging now with his current gf and i was like why? any cpl who contacts me for swinging i tell them find someone else. swinging has no meaning if u r not gonna date the other cpl like doin polyamory then why even do swinging? it is nothing but sex and nothing else. | |
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| Swinging i don't get it!
Posted: 7/7/2009 1:45:05 PM | | Well, many good comments and idea sharing... What I can add is that 1. It does exist 2. Its not for everyone 3. There are millions of people that partake and enjoy it lovingly.... We tried it and love it, for seven months now we have been closer to each other than ever before, perhaps there will come a time that this phase in our relationship will pass and we will look back and be thankful for the many many friends we have made.. Real people of all walks of like and social status... For now we are on a wonderful trip and I will repeat, it is not for everyone... | |
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| Swinging i don't get it!
Posted: 7/7/2009 1:58:55 PM | | you really can have your cake and eat it too but both of you must be mentally strong enough to handle it. if you are weak or insecure you have no future with it. | |
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| Swinging i don't get it!
Posted: 7/7/2009 2:20:13 PM | perhaps there will come a time that this phase in our relationship will pass and we will look back and be thankful for the many many friends we have made..
Yeah, but you might not still be together....
My G/F used to swing... they used condoms all the time...her ex died recently from AIDs... he caught it just as they were splitting up.... a good thing or she would be dead now too.... as it was she had to be tested for over a year in case she had gotten it...
So I asked this to someone the other day and he didn't have good answer either...
Why is swinging so important to you that you would risk your own health/life and that of the person you profess to love...? Can you really love them if you want to take a chance of killing them just to fcuk some other woman? | |
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| Swinging i don't get it!
Posted: 7/9/2009 10:00:09 AM | MChurch,
FAR More people die from being hit by cars in the USA... Does that mean you would never date a woman who drives a car or walks to the store?
Your argument is silly at best.
You end your post with:
<div class="quote">Can you really love them if you want to take a chance of killing them just to fcuk some other woman?
so to go with line of thinking:
Can you really love them if you want to take a chance of killing them just to drive to the store for bread? (silly question, isn't it?)
James, Seattle, Washington, USA, Earth | |
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| Swinging i don't get it!
Posted: 7/13/2009 11:52:54 AM | MChurch
and thanks seattlerain1
Not sure if church really wanted an answer, he said he had asked another person about this subject and commented that he didnt have a right answere "either" ??
Eiather? hasent even heard my answer.
Oh well, yes I love my partner and enjoy the threesomes and foursomes with our friends...
From King David in antient times and all the concubines, Roman Orgies to Polygamy and todays Muslim multiple wife sects.
This is part of human history present and future... Perhaps only outlawing these acts will put an end to them and finally clean up our so pure culture where no one cheats or has more than one partner...
Last question to Church.... Would like to know more about your girlfriends take on all this since she acctually did swing at one time.. | |
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| Swinging i don't get it!
Posted: 7/13/2009 12:02:35 PM |
FAR More people die from being hit by cars in the USA... Does that mean you would never date a woman who drives a car or walks to the store?
There is a degree of truth to that... however, if you calculate it by hours of driving as opposed to hours of sex... then the death rate might be vastly different...
I've easily driven 20-30 hours in a week... truck drivers, taxi drivers drive much more... I don't think i've ever had 20-30 hours of sex in a week and I doubt that too many other people do... | |
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| Swinging i don't get it!
Posted: 7/13/2009 12:04:56 PM | m_church
Why is swinging so important to you that you would risk your own health/life
Shouldnt you change the word 'swinging' to 'having sex' ?? Or even driving... or riding a motorcycle... or skydiving... or rock climbing... or just breathing for that matter. | |
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| Swinging i don't get it!
Posted: 7/13/2009 12:20:43 PM | Few people really have a good handle on the relative risk of different activities. Yet many people engage in risky activities, because they enjoy the thrill - and risk is part of the thrill.
Anyone who rides a motorcycle - especially without a helmet - is risking severe injury and death every time, but will continue to do it because they enjoy it. Most other activities are less risky than that, but people do them even knowing the risks. Smoking, obesity, laziness (lack of exercise), etc., are all very risky to your health even if you don't usually die right away. In the scheme of things, sex is very pleasurable, has a low risk of immediate death, and many people are willing to accept the relatively low health risks.
Perhaps it's mainly a matter of what's socially acceptable. Smoking and motorcycles are somehow acceptable ways to risk your life and health, but much safer things like swinging are not? Interesting contrast, IMO. I think I'd be much safer living under the power lines coming from a nearby nuclear power plant and swing, than ride a motorcycle or smoke!  | |
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| Swinging i don't get it!
Posted: 7/13/2009 12:53:14 PM |
Last question to Church.... Would like to know more about your girlfriends take on all this since she acctually did swing at one time..
Well, her husband brought it up and she rejected it. He was always putting her down and undermining her. He kept up the pressure for over a year. She caved in because he told her it would save their marriage, and she was naive enough to believe him. Finally they ended up doing it. She already had kids so she got her tubes tied to prevent 'accidents'... She told me that at she had a hard time with it and only did it to please him. At the same time, he wanted her to do more and more 'kinky' things such as threesomes and other women. She eventually just felt like a piece of meat. Eventually it got to being all about him and as she put it, she "was a trading piece so he could fcuk other women". (her words exactly) He didn't even want to have sex with her anymore and took to degrading her, calling her a whore etc....He was on the Internet trolling for women constantly. For him it was an obsession. Then he left her for another woman he met swinging with. Essentially, she was handed off to the other guy as a trade. They ended up living together in a poly relationship, During the whole period, they used condoms all the time but she still got a couple of STD's and became depressed. She stopped with it completely after a year when they got yet another STD. When he was being treated for that, they found out he had HIV. She was lucky that she didn't get it. She figures she was lucky because he hardly ever had sex with her anymore, he too was just using her to get other women. He just used her as a "deposit station" when he couldn't find anyone else. (He just died of Aids last month. He had since remarried and apparently his new wife didn't know he had AIDs until he was admitted to the hospital and died.) While the poly relationship was going on, her family also found out and disowned her. Her kids eventually figured out what had been going on. Although they were young at the time, they put 2+2 together from their memories as they became teens. They also have no respect for either parent... partly due to the bullying they got from other kids over the 'unusual' parents and partly due to the whole issue of everyone in the household needing to be tested for HIV/Aids... She's not allowed to donate blood, ever... because the Red Cross sees her as an HIV risk because her partner had it...
Her take on the swinging was that the women were being used as pawns so that their partners could fcuk other women and that it was all about the men. She realied that in many ways it was ultimate form of control by the men, to be able to tell them who to sleep with and to treat them as sex toys instead of as people. She said a lot of the women were in it "only because they got so much pressure from their partners or because they were really fcuked up mentally" (her words again). Many of the ones she met had been raped or abused as kids, and many were suffering from low-self esteem (as she admits she was too). She figures she slept with about 20-25 guys and 4-5 women while she was swinging... afterwards, quite a few more because she was so depressed and just felt it was all she was good for... for a long time she thought that just having sex with strangers was 'normal'and expected.
Since then, she has been on a long road to recovery. She's still dealing with depression and has long term health issues because of it. Not the least being, she really regrets getting her tubes tied...
She's been dealing with the repercussions of it for about 12 years now... and is only just starting to feel good about herself... much of her 'swinging' period is a blackout, a lot of it, she's mentally blocked out. Periodically she still has intense bouts of depression and moodiness and crying. She looks upon it as being the worst thing she ever did, and that it ruined her life and ruined her self-worth. She said to me one time when I asked her why.. "because I was naive and stupid" was her reply. | |
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| Swinging i don't get it!
Posted: 7/13/2009 1:04:34 PM |
Shouldnt you change the word 'swinging' to 'having sex' ?? Or even driving... or riding a motorcycle... or skydiving... or rock climbing... or just breathing for that matter.
Having sex is a much reduced risk than swinging...
Driving, we are trained to begin with and our skills improve over time making it relatively safer the more you do...
Likewise motorcycling...
Skydiving... nope.. you want to jump out of a perfectly good airplane with a nylon sheet strapped to you... nope... ain't happening for this kid....
However, in the US in 2007, there were 5,154 motorcycle deaths in 2007
At the same time:
There were approximately 14,000 HIV deaths in the US alone... and...an average of 3,670 will die from HPV related cervical cancer each year in the United States...
So do you REALLY want to compare figures now...
And for anyone who wants to question these figures, I simply Googled: "death rate motorcycle US 2007" and similar... | |
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| Swinging i don't get it!
Posted: 7/13/2009 1:06:53 PM | | I participated in this type of lifestyle years back when I was married. I think it was a thinly veiled attempt at spicing up a loveless relationship that was already in demise. As it happened, of course I seemed to get more of the sexual attention than he did, which created even more jealousy and problems. IMHO couples shouldn't engage in this if they are already in a loving, monogamous relationship...I know that it did contribute to my divorce. | |
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| Swinging i don't get it!
Posted: 7/13/2009 1:38:23 PM | You can also take a wild guess at how many people ride motorcyles in the US each day vs how many rub their uglies together. You should look at it as percentage of.. a per capita if you will. Yes, less people die each day from eating raw blowfish as compared to Jogging, but if you had to take odds on who would die from their activity, I would put the money on the fish chomper every time.
What you described about your girlfriend was not swinging.. I am not really sure what to call it.. Dominant forced cheating perhaps? In real swinging the women have the power, always... No means No, no questions asked, no explantions needed. I had a date take me to a club in LA just to see, as I had never been, and there was a large sign as you entered that said, "Gentleman, this club is for Women, you are invited guests only, and please behave that way". Sure there are people that have experiences Similar to actual swinging, but that does not make it the same. Just because prays does not make all that pray equivilent. | |
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| Swinging i don't get it!
Posted: 7/13/2009 1:47:14 PM |
I participated in this type of lifestyle years back when I was married. I think it was a thinly veiled attempt at spicing up a loveless relationship that was already in demise. As it happened, of course I seemed to get more of the sexual attention than he did, which created even more jealousy and problems. IMHO couples shouldn't engage in this if they are already in a loving, monogamous relationship...I know that it did contribute to my divorce.
One must respect this post ~ from a source that's actually DONE or been involved in the topic at hand.
~OT~ There are so many dynamics to discuss when talking about a topic of this nature and NO, being a member of the POF Disease Posse doesn't make those few opinions any more valid than anyone else's. We are all adults here (one would hope) and it's not really necessary to throw diseases and God/faith into a topic that should be discussed on a level a tad more in-depth than that. As stated in the quote above, many people go into these types of venues looking for something that is likely missing in their already established relationship. Then there are those who simply are not built for monogamy and hopefully those people stick with like-minds, being of the same page, so to speak. I know poly adults and I also know a couple of swingers. In those few cases, it seems to work for them just as well as the few happy monogamous couples I know. In my mind, it's simply a matter of being honest from the beginning, being open-minded enough to hear (not just listen) what your partner is needing and/or not getting or wanting, etc. If things change over time and one wants a more liberal lifestyle while the other does not? You're going to end up with two very unhappy, unfulfilled parties. I for one don't believe every single person is built for monogamy. Hopefully those people are not only honest with themselves but they are honest with those they choose to have in their lives. We (as adults) do have the authority to say, "I think that's great for you, but it wouldn't work for me." JMO  | |
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| Swinging i don't get it!
Posted: 7/1/2011 7:49:58 PM | | Ok we all understand you are a swinger let so other people reply her we got your take!! | |
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| Swinging i don't get it!
Posted: 7/2/2011 9:57:40 AM | | I would never share a serious boyfriend with anyone else. But I don't look down on anybody who is a swinger. To each other own. | |
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