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| | Swinging i don't get it!Page 5 of 27 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27) |
It also seems to destroy a lot of otherwise good relationships too.
It does?
Please reference where you got this information from because I am unaware of it.
Thanks.  | |
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| Swinging i don't get it!
Posted: 5/24/2008 10:42:35 PM | | It has nothing to do with being human. You can be attracted to someone, but what's the turn on to having sex with a stranger? I can find another man attractive, but would I want him touching my body intimately if I'm supposedly in love with another and is truly in a relationship with him. I think not. However, I think men can be very much ok with swinging because they can separate the sex from the emotional intimacy part of sex. It's just getting off. YMMV. | |
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| Swinging i don't get it!
Posted: 5/24/2008 11:54:54 PM |
but what's the turn on to having sex with a stranger?
I had this discussion with my Love.
It isn't having sex with a stranger it is increasing the pleasure of your partner.
In essence the others are not so much lovers as props for enjoyment of your love together.
Both of us strive to make the other happy. If that means we can bring others in to do that then it is no different than toys or sexy cloths. They are not the focus, your partners pleasure is what you are trying to accomplish. | |
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| Swinging i don't get it!
Posted: 5/25/2008 12:19:18 AM | | The turn on of having sex with a stranger is just being turned on by someone new. A lot of women assume that because they happen to need love involved to have sex that it's that way with all women but that just isn't the case. | |
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| Swinging i don't get it!
Posted: 5/25/2008 1:25:38 AM | Group sex or even threesomes is a turn off for me - I prefer being private and sharing intimacy with someone special, not just any horny shmo. I don't need or desire multiple parters and I doubt that I would be attracted to anyone at a swingers party
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| Swinging i don't get it!
Posted: 5/25/2008 6:24:49 AM | It also seems to destroy a lot of otherwise good relationships too.
It does?
Please reference where you got this information from because I am unaware of it.
Thanks
Sent you an email, but I will say here, I didn't fall off the turnip truck yesterday. lol
Hey, I have lots and lots of friends, who enjoy lots of different lifestyles. Swinging simply isn't for everyone and a lot of people who try it do it for the wrong reasons. Even seasoned, long time swinging couples run into difficulties............like a favorite play partner who wants to move in and become "family". That's one of the risks of intimacy, people bond whether you want that with them or not.
In essence the others are not so much lovers as props for enjoyment of your love together
The people you bring into your bedroom have feelings. It really does take a unique person, or people, to accomplish physical intimacy without creating emotional bonds. I've been invited to swing, and I can't imagine anything sadder than driving home alone after being intimate, knowing that his wife is getting the good stuff, and all I got was sex. | |
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| Swinging i don't get it!
Posted: 5/25/2008 9:02:09 AM |
I can't imagine anything sadder than driving home alone after being intimate, knowing that his wife is getting the good stuff, and all I got was sex.
How about sitting at home all night alone and not even getting sex? Intimacy is great, and I'm willing to bet most of us here are looking for that in our lives. Why do you think it's bad to create emotional bonds with friends? Sex doesn't even come into the picture, does it?
I have friends that I LOVE... they are nearly all couples and I'm envious of what they have since I currently don't... All of my friends know that I'm non-monogamous but only one couple are swingers, the vast majority are not, but that doesn't mean I don't have emotional bonds with them.
I have one set of friends who have a beautiful sailboat and we all go sailing from time to time. Years ago I sold my own boat so that I could buy my home. Is it worse to go sailing and then drive home to my sailboatless life or is it GREAT to have the opportunity to sail on the Puget Sound for a day or a weekend with friends all the while knowing I don't have a sailboat at the moment, but at least I'm out on the water?
James, Seattle, Washington, USA, Earth | |
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| Swinging i don't get it!
Posted: 5/25/2008 9:28:36 AM |
The people you bring into your bedroom have feelings. It really does take a unique person, or people, to accomplish physical intimacy without creating emotional bonds.
I don't think I could have sex with someone I didn't like or consider a friend.
But that being said I wouldn't be having sex with them because I wanted a romantic relationship. It would be because I wanted to increase the the pleasure and life experience of our relationship.
I've been invited to swing, and I can't imagine anything sadder than driving home alone after being intimate, knowing that his wife is getting the good stuff, and all I got was sex.
I think that is why I like the idea of couples more than singles.  | |
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| Swinging i don't get it!
Posted: 5/25/2008 10:26:05 AM |
I can't imagine anything sadder than driving home alone after being intimate, knowing that his wife is getting the good stuff, and all I got was sex.
How about sitting at home all night alone and not even getting sex?
I don't need another woman's man for sex. I don't stay home alone unless I want to. | |
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| Swinging i don't get it!
Posted: 5/25/2008 10:40:20 AM |
The people you bring into your bedroom have feelings. It really does take a unique person, or people, to accomplish physical intimacy without creating emotional bonds. I've been invited to swing, and I can't imagine anything sadder than driving home alone after being intimate, knowing that his wife is getting the good stuff, and all I got was sex.
AMEN! If I was a swinger, I think I'd come away feeling very sad knowing I was just a "prop" for some couple's (the male half of the equation since I'm not bi) enjoyment. If I was involved in a relationship and my guy wanted me to swing simply because he wanted to bring some spice into our relationship, I would not be happy as I wouldn't derive much, if any, pleasure from sex with a guy(s) that I've never seen before. By the same token, it would hurt to see him having sex with another woman. Yeah, it's just sex, but still...  There are other ways to spice things up. I know we should do what gives our partner pleasure, but I guess I'm not that giving.  | |
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| Swinging i don't get it!
Posted: 5/25/2008 10:43:35 AM | | Interesting how so many gravitate towards the idea of swinging being about the FMF thing. Personally, I love having more than one guy in my life. That would continue even if I settled down with a man. All of my lovers know this and accept it. | |
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| Swinging i don't get it!
Posted: 5/25/2008 10:48:19 AM |
How about sitting at home all night alone and not even getting sex?
So are you saying that swinging is preferable to staying home and not getting sex? I'd rather use toys than do that knowing that I'll just end up coming home alone after getting a sexual release. | |
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| Swinging i don't get it!
Posted: 5/25/2008 10:50:40 AM | | People have been conditioned to think certain ways by media and religion.I feel its a personal choice. | |
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| Swinging i don't get it!
Posted: 5/25/2008 11:28:05 AM | Re the Opost
Sex orgies and hedonism in general were in the daily agenda in Rome and Ancient Greece. That did not keep them from being intellectual and "spiritual" and ethical.
Calvin ruined a lot of peoples' lives! | |
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| Swinging i don't get it!
Posted: 5/25/2008 12:02:15 PM | Well said King : I bet with that attitude, when or if you ever do get married, It will last. If people want to swing, let them, who cares ? As long as it's between consenting swingers, they don't need anyones approval, only their own. It's not something that's going to be published in the local tabloid, so who wants to know? If they don't mind that some people are very happy with one partner, only ! Then the happy couples
don't give a hoot how often, or how many they swing with. Even Tarzan and Jane knew enough to keep it private, jeez !!! And they were two of the coolest swingers around. | |
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| Swinging i don't get it!
Posted: 5/25/2008 12:52:06 PM | Simple - if you don't get it, then don't do it! And don't hook up with someone who does it.
There's really no need to try to understand it unless you want to try it yourself - or are just trolling.... | |
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| Swinging i don't get it!
Posted: 5/25/2008 1:46:58 PM | That was cute, 2shy :)
Is it worse to go sailing and then drive home to my sailboatless life or is it GREAT to have the opportunity to sail on the Puget Sound for a day or a weekend with friends all the while knowing I don't have a sailboat at the moment, but at least I'm out on the water?
Is it worse to be in a loving monogamous relationship or none at all?
To each his own - we all have to be ourselves | |
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| Swinging i don't get it!
Posted: 5/25/2008 1:50:38 PM |
When you are in love you shoulden't even want any one else . Sex and all!
Maybe that's how you and I and most people think, but that doesn't mean that everyone else thinks the same way. I could never be in that kind of a relationship, but I would never begrudge consenting adults the right to engage in swinging if that's what they really wanted to do, because in the end it's none of my business.
Now, if my future wife wanted to do it and I didn't, that would be a different story. | |
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| Swinging i don't get it!
Posted: 5/25/2008 10:44:58 PM | One thing that these posts show is this.................."I was swinging with my "X". Now, where are the posts of people still with the love of life? The people who swing and are still with each other after 20 years or longer?
I am in a situation right now that makes it or breaks it.....If I swing I have him, if I do not I will lose him.....Well, I have to first ask myself, did I really ever have him? And do I even want him?
Sex does not mean love, yes..................I can seperate the two........It sounds exciting......It sounds fun................But, choose between sharing my bed with someone I do not know to make someone else I thought I knew happy?
Hmmmm, what ever happened to good old fashion.................Kinky Sex? | |
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| Swinging i don't get it!
Posted: 5/25/2008 11:01:14 PM | | Everything we do in this world is a personal choice. It may not be for you, but it doesn't make it wrong. As I keep harping, as long as the individual is not hurting themselves, or others, then let them be.... | |
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| Swinging i don't get it!
Posted: 5/25/2008 11:08:08 PM |
I am in a situation right now that makes it or breaks it.....If I swing I have him, if I do not I will lose him.....Well, I have to first ask myself, did I really ever have him? And do I even want him?
Hmmm My opinion is you didn't and don't.
If he likes swinging that much then it is part of what he needs in a relationship. If it isn't something you want then you shoudl reconsider.
Or
My understanding is that male swingers pretty much need a partner. You might just be his swing ticket.
For me and my love it is just on the table. Whether or not we decide to try will be something between the both of us. I would never ask her to do something she wasn't totaly on board with and I feel comfortable enough in our relationship that I would be enthusastic and enjoy most anything she might want to do.
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| Swinging i don't get it!
Posted: 5/26/2008 1:49:22 AM |
When you are in love you shoulden't even want any one else . Sex and all!
Yeah, and the Easter Bunny is real as well. | |
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| Swinging i don't get it!
Posted: 5/26/2008 2:01:14 AM | | Do you masterbate, do you use a toy. if you keep it in that perspective its just away to get off.wether plastic of flesh, its just away to enjoy oneself | |
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| Swinging i don't get it!
Posted: 5/26/2008 5:00:00 AM | Tinker: Just do what you feel comfortable with, and can live with. You have to answer to yourself; If you lose him over that, you've never really had him, Swinging's prob fine for people who enjoy it. But to think too many times about should you do it because he wants , I think not. If it was something that you wanted, you wouldn't be questioning, you would be doing. Go with your own instincts. You're the one that has to see yourself in the mirror every day, And if you blush easy, (lol) don't go there.
Let him go find a willing partner. In this day and age, he should have no problem.
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| Swinging - I don't get it!
Posted: 5/26/2008 5:24:16 AM | Tinkerbell Said:
One thing that these posts show is this.................."I was swinging with my "X". Now, where are the posts of people still with the love of life? The people who swing and are still with each other after 20 years or longer?
At the local swingers' club, there are many long, long term relationships, but of course swinging doesn't guarantee Long Term just like monogamy doesn't.
And as far as what these posts "show" you, Tinkerbell... This is a SINGLES' Dating site, so is it really a surprise that couples in 20+ year relationships aren't to be found? [scratching head]
For me, the one thing that posts with "swinging" or 'not monogamous' show is that there is a huge number of people on this website who seem have an attraction to something they SAY is not for them; they continually post about a subject they supposedly aren't interested in for themselves.
James, Seattle, Washington, USA, Earth | |
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