T474T
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Joined: 3/10/2008
Msg: 76 | |
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| If you are in a relationship, is it still ok to meet people from here?
Posted: 4/29/2008 10:40:40 PM | | I agree with Myth. I'm still here for the forums not actively seeking to meet new people, and it says that right on my profile. If you and your partner, keep open and honest communication about what you are doing, I see nothing wrong with staying on the site. When one starts being dishonest about intentions of being on the site, then I would start questionning whether I should be with that individual or not. My BF is new to Edmonton, so I actually encourage him to chat with new people, whether it be male or female. I trust him - call me naive if you like, but we have a very open and honest relationship and I trust him to make the right call. | |
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| If you are in a relationship, is it still ok to meet people from here?
Posted: 4/29/2008 10:44:53 PM | | I spend time on the forums, but while in a relationship, I see no need to meet other people from a dating site. And I'm up front about that both in my profile and with anyone who chooses to contact me. This, to me, is just something to do while I'm on the computer anyway. Normally, even when I'm online here, I'm in the middle of a bunch of different tasks anyway. Like now... I'm working on stuff for my midterms. | |
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| If you are in a relationship, is it still ok to meet people from here?
Posted: 4/29/2008 11:20:51 PM | op, you ask, "If you are dating someone intimately, and you found that they were chit chatting up the opposite sex, then meeting them in real life, would you be ok with it, if your mate was assuring you that they were just "friends", or is that a red flag?"
openness and honesty to me are important parts of a relationship - as is trust.
my feelings are
1. 'friends' means not private chatting and meeting - so you would be invited to be part of the frienship also ....if it really is friendship ...doing this without including you seems questionable.
2. it is putting a lot of pressure on the word trust - not only for your intimate partner, but moreso for those others on the site they are pursuing ......just because they are clear it's only friends, is it 'fair' on the other 'chats and meets' who might develop stronger feelings and/or less respect for your relationship?
3. to me respecting the relationship comes first and means you both come to agreement on what you are comfortable with - it sounds like you are not comfortable with this and if it's a source of contention between you, then it is important you both air your views......for even if we all said to you, "sure, it's fine, wouldn't bother me', it sounds like it does bother you.
4. honor your truth. if he does not and continues, then how important can you be to him if his 'friends' matter more?
5. if it is not a 'relationship' you really have with this person, but just dating that includes sex, and you have not made any commitment to each other, then i don't think you have a 'leg to stand on' with asking them to honor your wishes. | |
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| If you are in a relationship, is it still ok to meet people from here?
Posted: 4/30/2008 6:41:18 AM | in the days before internet dating it was soon into a relationship (knowing each other for a year, moved in together for two months) my then boyfriend secretly met a girlfriend of mine for lunch. she called me up one day, they started chatting, he/she never told me they had talked, and unbeknownst to me they decided they should meet (he had never met her through me).
needless to say when this tidbit came out, I asked him to leave, immediately.
so to answer your question, in this day and age of meeting people from online, the answer is an unequivacal NO. | |
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| If you are in a relationship, is it still ok to meet people from here?
Posted: 4/30/2008 7:29:31 AM | In the age of internet dating this forum for meeting people makes it a convenient method for playing all ends into the middle.
It all goes back to communication and what expectations were agreed upon.
However for most I would hope that the goal is to find someone and get off of here.
Otherwise it appears to me that you are not the one and will never be so time to move on. That person will never get enough of what they dont want. They are addicted to the forum. | |
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| If you are in a relationship, is it still ok to meet people from here?
Posted: 5/2/2008 4:07:55 PM | If I were with someone in an EXCLUSIVE RELATIONSHIP
no way would I be here PERIOD , It's only fair to give all of to the man
I'm with and be up front and honest do the right thing by him - Not on here fishing for the heck of it. He'd have me mind , body and soul , I love Forums if he was in agreement to us being on here together for just Forums okay but again I would not feel it be fair to be on this link when I had someone to share it all with again. To me being here would be like having your dang cake and eating it too!!!
No I'd not be here
Brenny
NO SENSE IN FISHING IN THE DEEP BLUE SEA WHEN YOU HAVE SOMEONE
GIVE IT YOUR ALL AND THAT MEANS EVERYTHING  | |
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| If you are in a relationship, is it still ok to meet people from here?
Posted: 5/2/2008 4:50:28 PM | | it screams cheater. get rid of the person. end things before u end up getting hurt worse. ask yourself two questions.....number one..Do you actaully think the person is gonna tell you ..hey i jsut wanted u to know im cheatin on you. you will not be told. number two.. Do you think it would be accepted by ur partner if it were u doing it...the answer is no. | |
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| If you are in a relationship, is it still ok to meet people from here?
Posted: 5/5/2008 11:41:38 AM | I just broke it off with someone I was dating intimately who had many excuses for keeping his profile up after dating me for two and a half months. It's the big exclusive thing. I feel good, it ended nicely and I am moving on baby. I do not become sexually intimate with someone unless we are both wanting a LTR. Of course there are exceptions to the rule. Nothing is ever written in stone.   | |
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| If you are in a relationship, is it still ok to meet people from here?
Posted: 5/5/2008 12:10:16 PM | | i suppose it entirely depends on how you go about meeting "friends" on a site like this. i know of some very monogamous and happy couples who found each other via PoF, made friends with other PoFers, chat it up in the forums, and go to local PoF events to socialize. if it's in that context, with the involvement and awareness of both people...then why not make friends? but if only one person is making "friends" and/or it's a secretive thing, then i'd be suspicious of their motives as well. | |
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| If you are in a relationship, is it still ok to meet people from here?
Posted: 5/5/2008 1:23:37 PM | | It's okay to do whatever you want, provided you are willing to accept the consquences for it. It's ok if you are in a relationship to see someone from POF even if it's for an intimate encounter. It's you life -- it's your choice. "Okay" is what's okay for you, not for anyone else. | |
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| If you are in a relationship, is it still ok to meet people from here?
Posted: 5/5/2008 2:07:46 PM | NO NO NO NO NO
The majority are here for dating! Singles site sorta gives it away. Some are here for playing - some here for hurting as many as possible, but generally we are here to meet a nice person and get off the PC in the corner of the room, and use the rest of the house. | |
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| If you are in a relationship, is it still ok to meet people from here?
Posted: 5/5/2008 2:53:16 PM | no I wouldn't be cool with it, I'd understand if she has male friends and she's made that point clear and vice versa. But meeting up guys from here while she's in a relationship with me. HELL NO!
However if she was on here for the forums and has on her profile Not Looking/ Not Single I'd be cool with that and vice versa. | |
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| If you are in a relationship, is it still ok to meet people from here?
Posted: 5/5/2008 2:59:33 PM | The question forth was: "If you are in a RELATIONSHIP, is it still Ok to MEET people from here? The OP then goes on to add:"If you are dating someone intimately, and you found that they were chit chatting up the opposite sex, then meeting them in real life, would you be ok with it, if your mate was assuring you that they were just "friends", or is that a red flag?"
No, I believe it's _not_ Ok to meet someone from a dating site, of the opposite sex. The post as it appears, with the words, "found out" and "if your mate was assuring you that they were just "friends", means that the "mate" did not tell you and you somehow found out on your own and confronted the mate. IF it were so OK, then my thought would be, why didn't he say something about it from the get go? That's called sneaky.  RED FLAG!
Or as the robot from Lost in Space would compute: "Danger, danger, Will Robinson".
IMHO. | |
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