| If you are in a relationship, is it still ok to meet people from here?
Posted: 7/2/2008 1:05:27 PM | it depends on the reason. i stayed on pof after i met my man. i connect with people on child advocacy, lymes disease, kids, mutual passions that are not sexual, etc. a woman half way across the globe has helped me with a personal issue and i have done the same for others. somtimes people are in a bad way and have no one to reach out to at the time--the internet has a strange way of substituting for "live" friends--BUT , it also has limits. i mix and match.
half of my e-buddies are women, a good number have similar issues or political interests, some are just kids who need an adult opinion. i would not chat or meet someone who was just shooting the breeze or flirting. if by some chance there was a man in the area who i thought was a good guy, i'd invite him with my manfriend and several other people to make more connections on whatever interest had us emailing in the first place.
HOWEVER: i do not think you are talking about this sort of thing. if i want people to do things with, i go to a local meetup or join local groups of interest. they include married, single, old and young people who are interested in such things as indie film going, jazz, etc. my man is welcome to come along or not. i need way more people contact than he does and he is also connected to this area for 30 years, whereas i am a newcomer and need to make more friends.
i would not go out with a man with hidden desires to hook up with him. for that, i would need to have a clean break with my current manfriend. that has not happened for 2 1/2 years. so, both he and i, feel pretty trusting of the other. we did plan to hook up two of our efriends, but alas--my buddy who i brought from another site to here, just met someone on pof, after also two years!
oops, i answered this one already!! oh well, most people don't read it all anyway. SORRY. it's a prevailing topic and often i answer the same question on different threads, so got confused this time around. too much foruming!!! | |
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| If you are in a relationship, is it still ok to meet people from here?
Posted: 7/2/2008 1:07:40 PM | So if someone in real life was looking for friends or spending time with them, would it be wrong? What is the difference? You can have female and male friends. No matter where you find or make them.
So if your in a relationship, you should not have friends? You should be with your partner? This is what I am hearing. I'm sorry to tell you this, you can't always be stuck up your partner's butt. There is such a thing as called space.
Some people might not click with others that live nearby and feel the need to expand to friend someone that they can click with. What is wrong with that? | |
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| If you are in a relationship, is it still ok to meet people from here?
Posted: 7/2/2008 1:24:44 PM | Coming from singles. There are other things offered on dating sites besides finding a mate. I have already named some. Alot of dating sites also have forums. Many like to read the forums and post in them. What is wrong with someone posting in a forum and being in a relationship?
I agree, but then that is what everything is about, profit. Not just dating sites, but other things as well and including out in the real world. | |
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| If you are in a relationship, is it still ok to meet people from here?
Posted: 7/2/2008 4:45:33 PM |
Just as "friends"?
If you are dating someone intimately, and you found that they were chit chatting up the opposite sex, then meeting them in real life, would you be ok with it, if your mate was assuring you that they were just "friends", or is that a red flag?
It has been my experience that "cheaters" use the same words that we use but there are different definitions for them..
For instance... "friends" to us means a hang out buddy.. someone we like to talk to.. nothing sexual
To a cheater "friends" means.. well I might like to flirt with them.. and maybe go to bed with them.. and heck I like them.. so that means we are friends... but I don't like them as well as I do my girlfriend/boyfriend.. so we are just friends. | |
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| If you are in a relationship, is it still ok to meet people from here?
Posted: 7/2/2008 5:20:27 PM | ........... absolutely ...... NNNNNNNNot.
If you are meeting people of your own sex, maybe it is ok (considering you are hetero, let's get that straight) .. that way, I can see how meeting ppl on here for friendship can be done very innocently and for the right reason ... friendship. I have a great friend on here who does it all the time and she is very sincere about meeting ppl for the purpose of friendship. But if you are looking to meet a member of the opposite sex here while you are in a relationship, that is a no-go in my books. Not acceptable, sorry.
Also ... I personally haven't had the issue of having to fight off so many men/women who are looking for casual sex on here like some men/women say they do, but ... if that is the case, why look HERE to meet people? We all know the games people play, we are all adults. A sexual invite/romp might be inevitable. That's not fair to your partner who you are supposedly in a relationship with .. IMHO>only. | |
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| If you are in a relationship, is it still ok to meet people from here?
Posted: 7/2/2008 5:31:17 PM | Can the profile be one that is joint? gf and bf both know the password. Can both people in the couple go to meet this new "friend"....
I think its okay for someone to go out and hang out with an old friend but to meet a new "friend" of the opposite sex off of an internet dating site.... NO | |
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claral
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Joined: 5/9/2008
Msg: 209 | |
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| If you are in a relationship, is it still ok to meet people from here?
Posted: 7/4/2008 7:47:03 AM |
If you are in a relationship, is it still ok to meet people from here?
The person who you should ask is the one you are in the relationship with. If they are ok with it, then go for it. If they are not ok with it, then you either need to not do it, or get into a relationship with someone who doesn't mind.
If you are dating someone intimately, and you found that they were chit chatting up the opposite sex, then meeting them in real life, would you be ok with it,
No, I wouldn't be ok with it in the least, especially if that's how they met ME. | |
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| If you are in a relationship, is it still ok to meet people from here?
Posted: 7/10/2008 10:06:18 PM | Yes, it is, as long as Ur SO knows about it & understands that U were a whole ONE B4 becoming TWO w/them.
Although, I've noted a trend lately. Many POF women R dropping out likes flies.
Mostly, it's because they're hooking up. They do it as a preventive measure to keep what they just "caught", or they do it because their new SO asks them 2.
Or, they get abducted by aliens, lol. | |
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| If you are in a relationship, is it still ok to meet people from here?
Posted: 7/10/2008 10:44:50 PM | | Sorry red flag--big time! I was dating a man who said "Iv'e met the woman of my dreams and I will stay off the internet now." He gave me an engagement ring and we eventually made plans for the future. One night my girlfriends and I were on the internet and low and behold, there was his profile still active months after his above statement! He was still actively seeking women. My only mistake was believing him and not pursuing other men also! I realize not all men lie, but it only makes sense to follow up on people because you really don't know them. Having the internet with all the info makes you feel like you know them-- don't be fooled. My mistake for being a gullible person. Anyway, there are lots of people out there, and if you communicate and make it clear what you expect of each other then there shouldn't be any misunderstanding. Good luck everyone. | |
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| If you are in a relationship, is it still ok to meet people from here?
Posted: 7/10/2008 10:45:16 PM | Sorry red flag--big time! I was dating a man who said "Iv'e met the woman of my dreams and I will stay off the internet now." He gave me an engagement ring and we eventually made plans for the future. One night my girlfriends and I were on the internet and low and behold, there was his profile still active months after his above statement! He was still actively seeking women. My only mistake was believing him and not pursuing other men also! I realize not all men lie, but it only makes sense to follow up on people because you really don't know them. Having the internet with all the info makes you feel like you know them-- don't be fooled. My mistake for being a gullible person. Anyway, there are lots of people out there, and if you communicate and make it clear what you expect of each other then there shouldn't be any misunderstanding. Good luck everyone. | |
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| If you are in a relationship, is it still ok to meet people from here?
Posted: 7/11/2008 1:39:43 PM | I am concerned as to the continuance reasons on one hand, yes; however, the openness & honesty factor is huge to me. I agree with the notion of changing the profile to express clearly "Friends only" and mean it. Also, if/when meeting others, to have such with your S/O is probably a good idea......openness, honesty, & clarity (from the horses mouth, so to speak) when it is evident that, as a couple, you could have new shared friendships. To me, it seems, there is really the "yours", "mine", & what is needed is the "ours" to bring another important dynamic of ballance into having a strong committed relationship---- we are still individuals as well as being an exclusive couple. We need that to be preserved (not for head games) , AND move ahead with assurety & ballance.
Thx. I'm just starting to check into some of these & am intrigued by the comments---good food for thought now & again!
(By the way: I'm in such a relationship, met thru this POF site & am working with such as an important issue)  | |
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| If you are in a relationship, is it still OK to meet people from here?
Posted: 7/12/2008 2:27:36 AM | | No---If either is here or any other site they are trolling. Some people can't be true to a relationship no matter what. I met and dated a guy for five month's and he said he cared for me and only me, but by pure bad luck he left the message of a woman who had answered his message, on my computer when he checked his mail. I had trusted him up to that point and when I found this I started checking the sites to see if he was on any of them, low and behold he was on everyone that I checked including this site, because I had to know the truth. did I confront him--damn right, all those nights and week-ends that I sat home waiting for this loser, while he gave me an excuse after excuse, of his children, I don't feel good, and a million others and he said he wasn't sure of how he felt anymore, (please give me a break, he got caught in a lie and was trying to wiggle out of it) and his answer was, it seems strange to me that you are on these sites and to find me you have to search. Right again dude. Bottom line is, if you make an agreement to only date each other and no one else, it is wrong to keep looking. When I received a notice that I had mail I just deleted it, I kept my word. He is on this site and I believe there are men who can't be true to a woman no matter what, sad but true. Here you flirt and do things that in person you would never do and usually it will go to a date. Wise up guys and gals, trust is a 2 way street and once you break that trust, few can be repaired. | |
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| If you are in a relationship, is it still OK to meet people from here?
Posted: 7/12/2008 11:13:02 AM | | You are right HotMama. Trust is something that once lost is hard to regain. Shoot I have dated guys that while just talking to them not even dating got upset when they knew I was talking to another guy. I have even had female friends get upset that I was talking to guys they were also talking to. It is called jealousy in some cases.. insecurity in other cases.. and just wrong in some cases. How can you really focus on a relationship if you are still out there looking to see if someone else is better? As long as you both have not agreed to date ONLY one another... it is ok to still be talking and meeting others online.. but once you meet that one person ... the one you think could be something. It is time to sever ties with the others until you know for sure where the ONE relationship is going. | |
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