| Promiscuity ~~ Pros and Cons
Posted: 11/4/2009 3:26:04 PM | Well, this thread has certainly made for interesting reading. And, I thank ALL contributors. I've received answers not anticipated. ......
Because of some posts, I've checked my "Trained Seal" manual. Nowhere can I find any reference that being a "cheap thrill" for a man will advance my chances in the "trained seal" pool. In my opinion, "using" another human being for a no strings attached liason, in order to get off, has NO integrity. Unless BOTH parties are aware and AGREE.
In my estimation, anyone who is devious, less than honest, pretending to be interested in someone but instead lusting, merely to "use" another for their personal gratification, is a low-life" con. I suspect that it's happening more often than not......by both genders.
When one of the two believes that they are working towards a relationship and the other isn't, is obviously where the problems arise. | |
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| Promiscuity ~~ Pros and Cons
Posted: 11/4/2009 3:31:43 PM | CassaGo said >>> It is for women, too, isn't it? Otherwise, it's just a friendship. I don't know any women who dont have sex with their BFs. Maybe it's the company I keep. Sluts.
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Now that is funny  | |
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| Promiscuity ~~ Pros and Cons
Posted: 11/5/2009 8:35:16 AM |
Aww Phoebe, please dont let one jacka$$ make you into something you arent...yes ten months is a long time to write and then met someone and have him pull that load of crap...you are blaming yourself without realizing there was nothing you could have done to end up with him...that was just the excuse ...not the reason
You can't loose what you dont have...you never really had him and even if you held out you would have lost him ...
Most men I think are as confused as what most women are...there are some of both sexs who try to sleep with someone first and then make it into a relationship which are normally doomed ...you can make compatibility happen outside of the bed then the bed suffers down the road.
You have to do what makes you happy and if holding out makes you happy ...then hold out but realize when you met the right man that it wont matter if you do or dont...cause he will want to be with you enough that he will make sure you understand his goals is to win you ...not your ****!
You know this is indeed one of the very best posts I have ever read..
thecatsmeoww | |
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| Promiscuity ~~ Pros and Cons
Posted: 11/5/2009 8:59:32 AM | Thank you
...I think people are to busy trying to make a suitable person into "the one" that we often pass on someone who is right for us.
We have red flags, we have lists, preferences, deal breakers, things that when it comes down to it...college degrees, employment in a profession we deem to be acceptable, most are not cause WE ourselves need this in a mate but cause we are still caught up in that teenage thing of wanting to brag about SIZE of the catch...vs the catch itself...
as an example, a college educated, professional who is over 6', athletic, non smoker, social drinker, who has all his hair ...we automatically think...wow what a catch...but then find out that he is sleeping with anything that will let him or that wants him, or a drunk, or on drugs, or a swinger, or on his 5th job in 3 years cause he was fired for stealing or moral reasons. Meanwhile the guy who worked all his life and is a self made man who owns his own business but he is shorter, or fatter or bald or maybe married three times cause one was when he was 18 and it didnt work and the next two died but he stayed with them and cared for them etc....
Im saying we use stupid stuff to exclude someone vs the right stuff to include someone! However one true part of someone is their sexuality and their moral code or honor...at times I dont think we consider this enough. | |
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| Promiscuity ~~ Pros and Cons
Posted: 11/5/2009 9:53:29 AM |
as an example, a college educated, professional who is over 6', athletic, non smoker, social drinker, who has all his hair ...we automatically think...wow what a catch...but then find out that he is sleeping with anything that will let him or that wants him, or a drunk, or on drugs, or a swinger, or on his 5th job in 3 years cause he was fired for stealing or moral reasons. Meanwhile the guy who worked all his life and is a self made man who owns his own business but he is shorter, or fatter or bald or maybe married three times cause one was when he was 18 and it didnt work and the next two died but he stayed with them and cared for them etc....
Im saying we use stupid stuff to exclude someone vs the right stuff to include someone! However one true part of someone is their sexuality and their moral code or honor...at times I dont think we consider this enough.
I think it comes down to core values, are they the same ones you have?
I was reading a post where someone was describing a pace someone was walking at not being the same as you own.. I happen to be a very fast walker. However I certainly slowed down when I walked with my mother.. When you really care about someone the pace is far less significant to things...You just so darn happy to be spending time with them you are not focused on that matter.
thecatsmeoww | |
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| Promiscuity ~~ Pros and Cons
Posted: 11/5/2009 10:00:34 AM | | But to get to someone's core values you have to get to know them and all the things are set to exclude not include someone makes it hard to get to know who someone is...which is why when someone said we are all window shoppers on a post I really have to agree. | |
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| Promiscuity ~~ Pros and Cons
Posted: 11/5/2009 10:19:50 AM | ...
"window shoppers" = promiscuous.
people saying they have a purpose in relationship. but not saying what it is that they want.
but to exclude others based on red flags and previous relationship conundrums that have gone on unnecessarily. but to keep it going on so to satisfy the arguments (conditions) which keep the advantage in the court of the most valueable.
sex is valueable and variable. so ...relatively speaking.
i can go to porno and pay or watch at no cost. (were i the type and i am not)
and sex is valueable so all other people must step out of the way so that the most important persons and people may be able to make their way *with most respects accorded* through relationships from the most simple (volunteer work) to the most catastrophic (wars). all because of an attitude based on gender/sex but without full respects due your self (as mind feeling entity...much less aggregate) or without full respects due others.
that is how it can seem to someone that is not as you are and never ever have respect but always paying over.
to some quite alarming relationship out-comes.
and it must stop. the male child will must be better educated on how endangered his sister future and present is because some people have more power and protection than others. all of society is arranged such. new media endeavours notwithstanding. | |
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| Promiscuity ~~ Pros and Cons
Posted: 11/5/2009 10:22:00 AM |
But to get to someone's core values you have to get to know them and all the things are set to exclude not include someone makes it hard to get to know who someone is...which is why when someone said we are all window shoppers on a post I really have to agree.
It depends if they take the time to get to know you.. and if you take the time to get to know them. Most people these days do not wish to take that time. They want everything instant like yesterday..
Fools rush in where wise man never dare to go..
thecatsmeoww | |
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| Promiscuity ~~ Pros and Cons
Posted: 11/5/2009 11:00:31 AM | ...
meowwww....
isn't she cute..? i love her sensitivity. but its not enough to say more security my dear.
if that is what you would imply. with fools rushing in...
there is not natural want nor need of having a fear going into a relationship.
if it is that you would transmit a fear or fears to structure your self and relationship environment. you may as well sign your self in to the asylum.
people need relationship to get to know one another. bottom line. it is natural it is normal.
the security personnel will must sit and endure. because papa counsel is not giving up the floor. so let their own frustrations be constructive elsewhere.
or here be counselled. we are not operating a prison camp here. please make it clear.
your economy dead for what it now do not represent. you are in fact hurting the economy of your relationship by planting fears for controls.
open the stage...do not close. | |
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| Promiscuity ~~ Pros and Cons
Posted: 11/5/2009 11:06:11 AM | ...
i know it hurt to hear this.
i know that. but it would hurt me to hurt you if you did not know ...
so were i not to say.
the imbalance of realizations to practice for tightening of constraint is not human.
it would be illness creation.
ya gotta open the windows or get building sickness.
over and out | |
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| Promiscuity ~~ Pros and Cons
Posted: 11/5/2009 11:35:51 AM | ...
learning to manage the rapids and shallows of others comprehensiveness in personal and human relationship is a dangerous occupation...and preoccupation.
but some psychologist philosophers take their roles seriously...
and i get to practice my poetry routines.
so its win win.
see...? | |
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| Promiscuity ~~ Pros and Cons
Posted: 11/5/2009 11:41:20 AM |
earning to manage the rapids and shallows of others comprehensiveness in personal and human relationship is a dangerous occupation...and preoccupation.
but some psychologist philosophers take their roles seriously...
and i get to practice my poetry routines.
so its win win.
see...?
Good gravy!!
It was clear as mud but it sure covered the ground. | |
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| Promiscuity ~~ Pros and Cons
Posted: 11/5/2009 11:56:04 AM | ...
i tend to cover a lot of ground.
it happens that way when i only have a few minutes to live from the death of people i love in you or me.
a person that do not learn to say 'i love you' may be unmanage worthy and able to the managements for opportunities in others. so a person in awareness of that can only take the middle and human side out without getting whacked. and as it is...i am persistent to remain here in what so ever ...since i am dis abled from full privileges.
lots to manage.
and how are you...?...is that an ok question to ask...? | |
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| Promiscuity ~~ Pros and Cons
Posted: 11/5/2009 12:09:16 PM | | I don't think it matters what your age, you should care about the person before you sleep with them. You are worth something to yourself and you should never settle for less than what you deserve which is the best. | |
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| Promiscuity ~~ Pros and Cons
Posted: 11/6/2009 6:13:09 PM | well said aaamm i think if we all follow that advise
personal life is just that personal and at the end of the day the decisions we make as adults are ours and ours alone
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| Promiscuity ~~ Pros and Cons
Posted: 11/6/2009 6:35:17 PM |
I don't think it matters what your age, you should care about the person before you sleep with them. You are worth something to yourself and you should never settle for less than what you deserve which is the best.
...Absolutely. I have never been a person to engage in indiscriminate sex.. Ever !
I've recieved criticism for those beliefs right here on the forums but I've never let it bother me. I'm okay with it, that's all that matters.
...maeflowers | |
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| Promiscuity ~~ Pros and Cons
Posted: 11/8/2009 9:03:47 PM | Promiscuity? What are we...in the 50s? (And I don't mean age).
If your hung up on "what people will think", I suggest therapy before dating. | |
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| Promiscuity ~~ Pros and Cons
Posted: 11/8/2009 9:38:06 PM | | i would not have sex with someone who has multiple sex partners for one. that part always gets me in dating... now you never really know how many people that person might have slept with because they probably dont even remember. so the counting your partners part cant work for anyone. | |
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