| Promiscuity ~~ Pros and Cons
Posted: 4/23/2008 5:45:37 AM | thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!
my thoughts exactly.
thank you!!
At my age, i assume that the majority of people i will/ might date have had multiple sex partners.
I just don’t care.
We have long threads here about “The Number”, when to admit to yours, what mens
“really mean”, what math one uses to figure out a womans “real number”, what Jebus thinks of those who “stray”, how many stones one should use to punish women who “sleep around” and dozens of other “interesting hobbies”. For me, I again, simply do not care. If i didn’t even know a woman at age 28, why should i worry about what or who she was doing at that age ? If i find myself in a relationship, I assume i may have the right to be concerned about what happens from the point it begins towards the future, but what gives me the right to dictate her past ?
Yes, if that past involves a German Shepard, a live video with big numbers on UTube, or a blue dress and the Oval Office, I might wish to have a a discussion or two, but is there anyone out there
without a spare thigh bone, if not a complete skeleton, in their closet ? If it doesn't involve sex,
it might be a small off-shore account, a strange spot in the garden where the flowers grow VERY large, an unexplainable tendency to cry when the Bay City Rollers comes on the radio, or (gasp)
a voting record that reveals two votes for anyone named "Bush". We all make mistakes, yes ? | |
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| Promiscuity ~~ Pros and Cons
Posted: 4/23/2008 6:41:49 AM |
And yes, I think there can be stupid questions What about stupid posts from people who have ESP. | |
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| Promiscuity ~~ Pros and Cons
Posted: 4/24/2008 6:05:54 AM | Promiscuity ~~ Pros and Cons
Well, the Pros cost $, and the Cons haven't done it with a woman for a really long time, so on the whole I'd skip both.
Dang it esad, you dun stole my line, lol! Teach ME to read the whole thread. . . . | |
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| Promiscuity ~~ Pros and Cons
Posted: 4/24/2008 7:19:58 AM | If you are between 45-50 you most assuredly have had multiple partners. I mean come on! Did you grow up in a monastery (nunnery)?
Well, since you've asked........before the age of 18, yes I did. And, the head honchos were my parents who had a moat full of alligators built around my house to keep the "bad boys" away.LOL
The question of someone dating others and having sex with them is completely different than multiple partners.
First of all, in my opening post I wrote:
Lately our culture seems to be embracing the concept of multiple partners and people exploring their options.
I tend to agree with this statement. Perhaps mass media, "sex sells" commercials have influenced people's views about promiscuity. | |
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| Promiscuity ~~ Pros and Cons
Posted: 4/24/2008 8:01:37 AM | ^^^ No kidding. Just read the forums where the 20 somethings are posting and it'll blow you away.
The media and entertainment industries have done a great job desensitizing people. | |
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| Promiscuity ~~ Pros and Cons
Posted: 4/25/2008 6:05:07 PM | I think sam pretty much summed-up my way of thinking on this subject. I don't "fantasize" having multiple partners at the same time.. threesomes.. or orgies for that matter. Sheesh! I'm also not into the role playing "games" either.. "me.. Jane.. you.. Tarzan".. or playing doctor (gyno). Wet-dreams about swinging from chandeliers? No thanks | |
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| Promiscuity ~~ Pros and Cons
Posted: 5/4/2008 9:00:44 AM | BIG CON - Contracting AIDS/HIV
The fastest growing segment of the population who is contracting AIDS/HIV are African American women between 35-55 who don't have a history of sexual promiscuity....
I say, DON'T GO THERE....for what?? | |
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| Promiscuity ~~ Pros and Cons
Posted: 5/4/2008 9:14:58 AM | Hmmmm... How are they getting AIDS? Are African-American men particularly riddled with the infection, are they interacting with more diseased white trash in trailer parks, perhaps part of a movement to rescue gay men from the path of sin, or are a few of these guys getting lucky a lot?
As far as I can tell, if its not drug use, it takes 2 to tango...
What is an African-American anyway? Used to be an indication of an immigrant who just got citizenship. Do you mean American people with non-white skin who are not Arabs, Latinos, Chinese/Asians, East Indians, Mongols Berbers, Aboriginals and the like? Are white Africans excluded? Let's be politically correct here. Its an election year, after all. | |
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| Promiscuity ~~ Pros and Cons
Posted: 5/4/2008 9:15:35 AM | | I am new and never have participated in a forum. The Subject caught my eye. I am a 52 woman and recently divorced after 13 years. Dating is so different . I am far from being a promiscuous person. However I feel like a lot of the people I come across have no problems with it. I enjoy being in a committed relationship. Sex then for me is alright. I do not like one night stands, or men that misrepresent themselves stating they want a long term relationship to just obtain sex. I do not want to devalue my morals to get a date. So what am I to do? omeone please give me some input. | |
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| Promiscuity ~~ Pros and Cons
Posted: 5/4/2008 9:23:12 AM | {Promiscuity ~~ Pros and Cons}
Nice Reading here. Course this is the cyber world here. Who's telling the truth and not. The question of how many is Multiple Partner's. Is this 2, 3, 12, 50??
Then if you asked someone in the dating setting do you actually feel you'll get the real, right, or a partially correct answer? Or even an answer? Had an "x" that in her college years she, a gf and a male all slept together. She didn't answer the obvious question that came to mind what did you all do. There again was it any of my business? Then its also a small part of the reason she's now "x".
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| Promiscuity ~~ Pros and Cons
Posted: 5/4/2008 9:34:41 AM |
omeone please give me some input
I don't think that most people are really into one night stands as a way of life, although you have to sip the soup to find out whether it is to your taste or not, and the older and more experienced you get, the more particular you become about the taste of your soup. That, in itself, is likely to generate a certain level of completely unavoidable one night experiences.
As to men and women being deceitful to get what they want out of relationships, this is not something new. Have a look at the seduction thread for a lot of commentary on that issue. In a sense, its like a self-fulfilling thing. You post your looking for a "long term", you can be pretty sure that those that contact you are going to present themselves as wanting the same, otherwise you won't meet them at all. Is this deceit or just mechanics? No different from the people who take a shower before meeting someone new, even although that may be the only time they take one. Guys hitting on you are naturally going to present themselves as they think you want them to be. Women are even more that way.
Its also true that there are predators out there, and the only way to defend yourself is to use your own good judgment. You have the experience needed to handle these situations, as long as you listen to yourself, and avoid any of the elements of desperation. Oddly, being trusting is one of the best defenses. Aside from the real creeps, most people find it psychologically hard to abuse another's trust. Of course, this does not apply to Lawyers, Politicians and car or insurance Salesmen.... | |
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| Promiscuity ~~ Pros and Cons
Posted: 5/4/2008 9:39:51 AM | I am new and never have participated in a forum. The Subject caught my eye. I am a 52 woman and recently divorced after 13 years. Dating is so different . I am far from being a promiscuous person. However I feel like a lot of the people I come across have no problems with it. I enjoy being in a committed relationship. Sex then for me is alright. I do not like one night stands, or men that misrepresent themselves stating they want a long term relationship to just obtain sex. I do not want to devalue my morals to get a date. So what am I to do? omeone please give me some input.
...Welcome to POF, you will find that by observation alone, you will soon discover a whole new world under the sea, many, many different species of fishies swimming around in this ole pond. Drop your line, lay back and relax
BTW....In many respects dating probably has changed, but your still the same person..you don't need to give up anything.
...maeflowers | |
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| Promiscuity ~~ Pros and Cons
Posted: 5/4/2008 11:49:47 AM | rearguard2, I don't know about the "politically correct" among us, but I have always considered African Americans people who are United States citizens whose ancestors originated on the African continent....but since scientists now say that ALL OF MANKIND originated from Africa, maybe I should clarify my definition.
In the African-American community, we have a phenomenon (spelling?) which is called "on the down low", in which (allegedly) heterosexual African American men are engaging in unprotected sex with other men, and then having sex with their heterosexual wives, girlfriends, and lovers. If you want to read more about this, just google, "on the downlow"......and you will receive a wealth of information. Many (but not all) of these men, were and are ex-offenders who were having sex in prison with other men.
Many of them, upon release from prison, join churches with a majority of African-American female congregants. Many African-American churches have prison and ex-offender outreach ministries. So, these men begin to date the female parishoners, often for a variety of reasons, including that most have jobs, and stable housing -- something that most ex-offenders have a hard time securing. Being "good church ladies", they marry these men, do what married couples do, contract the virus, and die.
I have had six female friends -- all upstanding women in my community -- at least six that I KNOW about -- die from AIDS in the last seven years. The oldest one was almost 70, and I know at least 3 African-American women in their 70's who are HIV positive. | |
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| Promiscuity ~~ Pros and Cons
Posted: 5/4/2008 1:50:56 PM | Well, I guess the social environment that one lives in presents differing levels of risk where promiscuity is concerned. I know of nobody who has suffered or died from AIDS so far, but I guess that its pretty common in some places. Interesting that the Church would become a vector for the spreads of such a disease, considering the moral pretensions that have been (somewhat wrongly, in my view) ascribed to this particular disease.
Its too bad we are all driven by sexual imperatives. Its a lot safer and less messy to me asexual.....less fun, of course! | |
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| Promiscuity ~~ Pros and Cons
Posted: 5/4/2008 2:30:09 PM | rearguard, I think you're way, way "off-base" when you blame the church for being a partner in the spread of HIV/AIDS. At least in my denomination (African Methodist Episcopal -- the oldest "black" denomination in the United States), we don't preach "spread disease." The reason black churches have prison ministries, or HIV/AIDS ministries, is to, at least in the case of ex-offenders, bring them into fellowship, and help those individuals to live a clean, MORAL life. Now, if those men are deceitful (which they are), that is a moral failing of theirs, not the church's.
Many African-American denominations, mine included, also have HIV/AIDS and drug and alcohol ministries. The same rationale applies...we want to bring people into the fold and help them live clean, MORAL lives. We bring people to the water, but we certainly can't make them drink.
Ankka (spelling), thank you for your insight and understanding. | |
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| Promiscuity ~~ Pros and Cons
Posted: 5/4/2008 2:33:54 PM | | For those populations who think they are "safe"....guess, again. Just google AIDS in people over 50, and see what you come up with! | |
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| Promiscuity ~~ Pros and Cons
Posted: 5/4/2008 2:34:26 PM | | For those populations who think they are "safe"....guess, again. Just google AIDS in people over 50, and see what you come up with! | |
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| Promiscuity ~~ Pros and Cons
Posted: 5/4/2008 3:05:27 PM | ankkka, I couldn't agree with you more!!! It IS about choices....and I choose LIFE -- and to live life more abundantly! And STD's don't fit into my vision of "living life more abundantly! | |
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| Promiscuity ~~ Pros and Cons
Posted: 5/4/2008 3:24:45 PM | Dear chocolatebrowne...
you are nice and smart person... it is always my pleasure to read your posts... | |
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| Promiscuity ~~ Pros and Cons
Posted: 5/4/2008 3:37:36 PM | | I don't accuse the Church of anything. I read your comment and conclude that, however involuntarily, Church activities were providing the vehicle for the spread of AIDS. How and why it happens is another matter. If the Church was not there, some other mechanism would be in play, but as it does provide an avenue for social interaction between the infected and the un-infected, it is a forum for the propagation of the disease. | |
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| Promiscuity ~~ Pros and Cons
Posted: 5/4/2008 4:32:29 PM | Going to a bar or a dance is a forum for spreading aids if people risk having sex with someone they don't really know........
Brownie, I'm sorry for all the deaths of women you have known. Diseases pop up in situations like that. Now people realize the danger but a lot of women get infected when their husbands play around.
For me, there is no upside or pro for promiscuity. It's demeaning, it's dangerous and it's not the same as making love to someone you really care about. | |
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