After being widowed for 6 yrs. and in the fall of 2007, I decided to date again. I had been communicating with a fella for 10 months. After finally meeting him, you guessed it.........he became a "hit and run" guy who saw me as "too easy".
Damned if ya' do..........damned if ya' don't.
Needless to say, I'm NOT free thinking now. Basically because, I no longer feel like being treated like a "piece of merchandise". He cured me or ruined me............take your pick.

...don't seem all that anxious to get involved in a 'relationship'. So I think you just have to keep in the back of your mind that he may just be all about the nookie,whatever lies he has to tell /act he has to put on.

There are men who are interested in a relationship. Men who are looking for someone to love and share their life with. From my perspective, I'm not holding out, or thinking I've got some precious commodity to protect, nor do I think I need to plan a future with someone before becoming intimate; all I think is that if I'm going to be intimate with someone, intimacy means a mutual outlook and understanding, of what we want and what we are looking for.

... Some have been somewhat younger than me, not too much younger, some have been older. Some of the more 'interesting' ones have come from the older men claiming to want long term or marriage. I may or may not be interested in marriage, but I am interested in long term. However, I won't give out my phone # the first time anyone asks, and there do seem to be a lot of LTR-minded men who say they aren't interested in wasting a lot of time on emails. I'm almost tempted to ask some of them what they consider 'a lot of time' just to satisfy my own curiousity. And it may be silly and unrealistic of me, but if someone asks me in their first contact if I'm still fun and sexually romantic, I don't much care what else he has to offer, I'm not gonna be interested.

This is not the type of experience I have with men who contact me on line. Most are within what I consider to be the appropriate age range, in their 50's. They do not ask for a phone number up front or early on. They are not older men who seem to want to rush into marriage. They do not make any kind of sexual comments at all, even after emailing for some time. They seem to be sincere and real. If I get any kind of vibe at any time that they are not, I don't correspond with them. I have not found the one I'm looking for, but I have corresponded with many very decent and respectful men.

When I said 'not too much younger' I meant within the range of possibility for a potential match. And I've corresponded with a number of polite, decent, and respectful men. It's just that none of them live anywhere near me in west bumblefart, which is very, very different from London. As I've said before, the pool of fishes here is more like a puddle with a few confused tadpoles thrashing around.

. Part of that decision seems to be based on, now that we are older and less attractive, we should not expect to be loved and valued as we might have been when younger and more attractive.

and at least we will get sex if nothing else

And then another part of the equation is that if we forge ahead, get sexually involved, maybe we will get lucky and the man will want a relationship, down the line.

The main issue is not finding anyone within 6000 miles with whom I click.

"my legs stay crossed until I get a ring on my finger, Mr Man!"

some men arent typist that is why they want the phone number...if you ever watched a man hunt and peck you would see their frustration at trying to keep emailing someone. They are doers and talking in most of them's opinion is doing vs writing...they are wanting immediate interaction. You do realize you can block your number from showing and call them if you are uncomfortable with giving out your number.

Some of us went to college when you had to hand write your thesis, then pay someone to type it up. Others can't type because of broken fingers.

he came in with two broken thumbs...i had to cut his meat for him to eat it that night.

I am sorry this happened to you, sorry to hear it ever happens to anyone, and it may be a reason for some women to become less free thinking about sexual behavior. However, I also think others may simply change as we get older, become more discerning, feel that sex without love is not really appealing or satisfying, and so on. I have been lucky, I guess, in that I have never experienced a hit and run man: I've never felt used only for sex. I think in all aspects of life, as I have gotten older, I have become someone who wants to savor things in a deeper and richer way, rather than in a superficial way. This applies to all I do or seek in life, including my approach to sexual intimacy.

It never actually occurs to her that the men didn't come back for a second date because she insulted him quite enough on the first date. It never occurs to her that he may have had sex with her looking for some connection that didn't pan out.