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| Tales and Whoppers
Posted: 5/23/2008 12:01:52 AM | Fisherman’s Tale
Watching my friend,
getting ready to take his small girl fishing.
“Going Fishing?” I asked.
“Daddy kisses the Fish!” she quipped.
“Whoa, there is a story there.
Talk to me Man” I demanded.
He Blushes.
“Well, when she catches a small fish,
I gently take out the hook.
Kiss it on the head and slip it back into the water.
She knows this kindness will help the fish recover quickly,
now she is happy.
My minds eye saw this headline;
I blurted out loud
“KISS YOUR BASS GOODBYE”.
My mind cross fades into a country melody,
aided by my new words, it goes like this.
Please release me, Let me go.
I’m still way too small to show.
I still need some time to grow.
Oh, please release me, Let me go.
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| Tales and Whoppers
Posted: 5/25/2008 7:51:34 PM |
((release me and let me swim again!!))  You crack me up!! | |
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| Tales and Whoppers
Posted: 5/26/2008 11:45:29 AM | The Very First Thing I Can Remember
As I was about to born, a surprise slap on my rear
Sure made my brown eyes pop wide open, my dear.…
I could see the nurse sighing .
I could see my mom crying
I could see my dad beaming
I could see my grand mom gleaming
I could see my grand dad about to make a toast
to his first grandchild he loved the most
Later he taught me the proper way to build a fire
for the Sunday afternoon wiener roast,
I could tell when I got big enough to ask
He wold put aside another task
He wouldn't leave me sitting wishing
he would have the the time, to take me fishing
True tale............ | |
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| Tales and Thoughts about shoes
Posted: 5/28/2008 1:30:58 PM | ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Sex and the City Movie
I never saw the TV shows
I asked the ticket lady about the movie.
I was told the new movie was about really good shoes,
and all about the women who wear them...
I'm old enough to know, know for a fact, it's so true.
When women break up with men,
Something in their DNA suggests,
They must go out and buy some new expensive shoes.
We live in an age where most modern women obsess about owning a
pair of designer Jimmy Choos or Christian Louboutins,
and would kill for a pair of Manolo Blahniks.
Approximately 10% of American women in a Harper's Vally PTA survey
spend $3,000 or more a year, on pairs of shoes.
Yes, One in ten women admits to owning more than 100 pair,
according to the Magazine article.
I can still remember back to one special night,
It was a while back,
Planet Venus aligned with Mars,
I wound up in a women's bedroom,
While she was in the bathroom to "freshen up",
I noticed the walk in closet door wide open and the light on.
Stepping up to the closet doorway left me...er...speechless.
There was thirty five pairs of shoes on the floor.
and on each side wall, left and the right,
row after row of new shoe boxes stacked to the ceiling
I counted more than 250 new shoe boxes.
Wow, did she have that many short term affairs already?
Thinking about myself,
I only had five new pairs of shoes in my entire lifetime.
The First two pairs were given to me by the Army...
Run, don't walk , to the car I was thinking, but I bravely stayed the night...
Hey, In the scheme of things, What's it going to cost? another pair of shoes?
When I got back home, I looked on-line for expensive shoes
If you're really upset about the sad state of your latest affair,
I recommend,
try on a pair of Manolo Blahnik Dune Alligato ...$2685.00
to make your head and feet feel great again.
If you are a "New Yorker" sensible secretary,
Settle for Classic Black pumps...only $555.00
If you're a Burger Flipping Queen, head over to Pay-Less.
Shoe tip of the day
If you have more pairs of shoes than you can sensibly store in your closet,
Dump the guy you are with.
Latch on to a "Mr. Big"
who can give you all the closet space you deserve.
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