I'm not sure where to go here. Free Dating, Singles and Personals

I'm not sure where to go here. Posted: 5/16/2008 9:15:51 PM
I'm sorry to hear about your dissapointment about the break up, however after reading all of these posts; I'd have to say it was going to happen hon. The first thing was: A dream girl, for me, would be one closer to my age and ready to start a family, not one I'm not sure will be around in a year or two. That girl is not her. She has told you this. Regardless to what YOU think she needs or wants, SHE is TELLING you what she wants and to be honorable, you have to accept that. If she is making a mistake, even though you know it, you must let her make this. You can not take anothers life lesson away from them. If your not honoring what she is asking, then you are forcing your view on her and that is not cool. You have stated variouse times that you are ready for a family... she will not be for another 10 years if that. So, my question would be.. were you planning on an accident? I've actually have met guys that have tried that before, and women as well so it does go on both sides of the fence. Not good. Also, when a girl says that they want to be your friend.. sometimes and I'm saying sometimes, that is out of guilt of being the breaker-upper, but don't hold your breath. Because if she truly wanted a relationship with you, this guy would have never entered the picture with her. Just keep in mind something.. you sound like a really nice guy and you are worth way more then what she is giving you credit for. You deserve to meet a lady that is close to your age and wants what you want.. all though just keep in mind that most ladies past 35 are done raising and running around after young ones and want to remember what life is like without little ones. I have a male friend that has two young girls from his privouse marriage because they started late and he is 43. He tells me that all of the potiental ladies go running, and a couple have tried to stick around but run in the end, because it is a lot of work to raise kids in the beginning. Then there is college. This is why I see some of my guy friends that are in their 40's marring young 20's, because once a woman reaches 35 developmental issues go up to 50% in some cases with babies from ladies in that age and older. Which means higher medical costs, education, tudors, stress is higher, etc... Are you ready for that? Just something to think about. Men are having babies later and life and women are saying.. Nahhh uhhh! Heh. ;) Thank you for your thoughts and kind words. I do accept her wishes and I really do want her to be happy. What I had thought was the likely journey would be something along the lines of her choices directing her on a path away from me, but for reasons that had to do with her career, not because she found someone "better". I'm trying to better myself and having her in my life inspired me to do a number of small steps in that direction. I'm trying to remove some of the clutter I have gathered over the years. I think that with her in my life, I'd care less about many of the things I own, and clean up a lot more. I guess you could think of it as nesting. :-) As to planning an "accident". No. We had already discussed birth control and I know that if she were to become pregnant, it was her plan to terminate the pregnancy if it was not her choice to have a child at that stage of her life. That said, if we had continued down the road together, grown to love eacher other, and she had made choices that would allow us to start a family, that would have pleased me quite a bit. As to being friends. I'm not really sure how one transitions from friends with benefits to just plain friends. Maybe if it was just about the sex for me it would be easier, but I'm not built that way. I think I will still see her at the dance, but I don't know if she expects me to still drive her home or what. Usually what would happen is we danced, drove home, talked a bit, kissed a bit, and I would walk her to the door. If she is really with this guy, then the kissing would be out. Do I really want to torture myself or act as a temptation to her. And if she can be tempted, what the heck does that mean. I have not been chasing the 20 somethings, it just seems that for whatever reason those are the ones I connect with. Really, what I'm looking for is someone who is old enough to know herself, and still young enough to have kids without doing it solely because the alarm is going off. I want the right person with the right reasons. At least I had my eyes open this time and I'm not going to curl into a ball for months at a time as I have done before. I have some friends that will try to get me back on the horse so to speak. The only problem is, they tend to think only in terms of the short term relationship, and I'm looking for something more than just getting laid.

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