| When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 4/23/2008 10:53:24 AM | Renaissance mun; are equally capable of taking responsibility for their choices as men, and should be treated as equal to men.
It is true that men as well as women have poor judgement when intoxicated... but there is a huge difference between a man being vonarable and women.... i dont think i need to state the obvious... protect her and save sex for a time when u both can remember all the things that made it so good... then after u know each other awhile go ahead and have drunk sex if that is appealing to u...
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| When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 4/23/2008 11:50:13 AM | In reverse.........is it the rape?
i was 23 and so drunk someone helped me into her bed...she was about 50?
Mind you I never got asked back so perhaps I was a little lacking?
When did we start allowing individuals to not take responsibility for their own actions that may or may not result in other consequences?
You get drunk and lose control there may be consequences?
You get drunk and get into a fight.....consequences..
You get drunk and drive...consequences...
You get drunk and have sex.....yell rape? But then there are some who also feel entitlement! | |
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| When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 4/23/2008 6:41:24 PM | "Most men can't perform properly when they are drunk and definitely can't perform when they are passed out...they aren't wired that way. But I could be wrong...I am sure I'll hear about it on this forum from the guys that are wired that way...."
Actually, that part of the body runs off the autonomic nervous system. In short it's (literally) got a brain of it's own. When you're concious there's some control over it, unconcious, it's all on automatic.
Performance here really isn't the issue. It's up, it's in, *bang*, it's down, grats them being a daddy.
Call me weird, but your right to take my DNA should be subject to the same restrictions and consequences as me forcing it upon you. | |
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| When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 4/23/2008 7:02:11 PM | Hate to say this, but there are quite a few guys out there (possibly including me) for whom there's no other alternative.. other than prostitutes... :P I imagine it'd be difficult to get it up with a prostitute when u know that she's got both eyes on the clock the whole time :P anyways i'm considering going to a nightclub in canberra's civic this weekend to meet women who might be looking for some NSA. Never done it before... wish me luck  | |
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| When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 4/24/2008 4:34:31 AM | Two issues here....
First is how she feels and the role that you have played in that and your responsibility.
Second is how you feel.
if she chose to get drunk and ask a random stranger to f&ck her, that was her choice and responsibility regardless of whether or not she regrets it now.... there remain some unknown factors - if it had not been you, would some gentleman come along taken her home, and cuddled her - at the risk of getting himself beaten up by her... or would a whole group of guys come along and gang banged her...
Then there is how you feel... well if you want to feel good about yourself.. hopefully you have learned that it is wise to avoid if at all possible ever involving someone else in anything that they might later regret. | |
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| When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 4/24/2008 5:13:17 AM | Tell me this. If you got drunk and offered a stranger every bit of money in your wallet, your cash, your credit cards, even your expensive watch or ring, would you feel the next day that they took advantage of you? If so, why? You gave consent.
What if you'd given some girl consent to have sex while YOU were drunk and you found out she had an STD. You were too drunk to think about protection and she obviously didnt care. Would you be pissed and felt taken advantage of? | |
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| When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 4/24/2008 8:01:14 AM | I can't believe this is even an issue. People seem to think that because a foreign substance was controlling their actions at the time rather than their own sober judgment, that they should be released from all responsibilities and consequences that arise from whatever happens. And the fact that we have laws that support this kind of behavior makes me sick.
THEY CHOSE TO PUT THAT FOREIGN SUBSTANCE IN THEIR SYSTEM. END OF STORY.
This is just another classic case in the every growing list of ways people are more interested in justifying stupid behavior and making excuses rather than taking responsibility for anything.
It's not the junkie's fault he broke into your house. He needed a fix. It's not even his fault that he's an addict. He had a really hard life.
It's not the stalker's fault. All he really wanted was just to be loved. He just didn't know how to go about making her feel the same way. He had good intentions.
It's not the murderer's fault. Somebody disrespected him. He had to defend his honor.
It's not the rapist's fault. She knew what she was doing when she went out of the house dressed like that. If it wasn't him, it would have been somebody else.
It's not her fault she slept with somebody she later regretted sleeping with / told somebody something that was supposed to be a secret and might now ruin somebody's life / went crazy and attacked another girl for talking to her man / got in a car and drunkenly drove home and killed somebody. IT'S NOT HER FAULT! SHE WAS DRUNK! HAVE SOME SYMPATHY, YOU HEARTLESS PEOPLE! SHE'S THE VICTIM HERE!
Everybody's a victim. | |
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| When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 4/24/2008 8:36:18 AM | Ok, I'll chime in.
In my city, at least, this is how it works. When you are drunk/high/mentally ill(and not on or influenced by proper doses of medication) you can not consent to ANYTHING. Therefore, anything visited upon you that would require consent is illegal. So yes, drunk chick banging is illegal here.
On the flip side, any crime you commit while under the exact same circumstances is YOUR FAULT. Because there is no excuse to commit a crime, apparently.
How do I know? I asked some police officers I work with. They agreed that this is how things work, at least here.
For me, personally, it is totally wrong to do that. I will not have sex with a woman if she is drunk, and believe me I have had many chances. The law, in practice, does have a HUGE gray area.
What happens if you are both drunk? Is it a wash? You can't rape each other, which would imply you both consented and therefore didn't rape each other. So what would happen in that situation? That was something we couldn't ansewer. | |
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| When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 4/24/2008 9:01:34 AM | | Well, if a person, under the influence of alcohol, is not to be held responsible, doesn't that cover both parties here? If she is not to be held accountable because she was drunk and chose to have sex, shouldn't he also not be held accountable because, he too, was drunk and chose to have sex? Are we not holding on to an out-dated double-standard here? A man and woman, in exact circumstances, both choosing to do the same thing. Either both are held accountable or neither is held accountable. Conclusion: Not rape, by the woman or the man. | |
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| When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 4/24/2008 10:06:07 AM | RE: Topic.
That's easy. When she says "No." or is incapable of saying "No."
Its as easy as that. If she can still talk and wants to have sex... then whats the problem? People speak more truthfully when drunk then if they're sober. So if a girls wants it while shes drunk you can take that to the bank. | |
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| When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 4/24/2008 4:22:49 PM | Sorry but I have absolutely no sympathy or respect for guys who take home drunk women. The women might have been too drunk to be thinking straight. But it was you who took advantage of the situation and had absolutely no thoughts except about what was in your pants. And you are saying these girls were "good in bed" when they were in this condition? I can hardly imagine that to be true.
There is no such thing as a woman taking advantage of a guy who is pissed out of his mind drunk. I've never heard of the reverse situation. What could be attractive about that? Yet for some unknown reason, a woman who can barely stand up is considered hot stuff?
But what does it say about you guys who do that? Desperate. Disgusting. | |
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| When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 4/24/2008 4:29:00 PM | Its not so simple as that either. To an extent, it somewhat depends on the level of intoxication we are talking about. If she is incapable of making reasoned, logical decisions, then it is just plain wrong. It may not be rape, in legal terms, but it certainly is not right.
Then again, just because someone has had a few drinks, it does not necessarily follow that they are so drunk that they can't decide what they want to do either. It is not that easy to put into words, but like pornagraphy, I know it, when I see it. | |
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| When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 4/24/2008 5:00:52 PM | | Okay...I'll 'fess up. Lots of women won't, by the way. I had a one night hook-up with someone when I was pretty drunk. I was not falling down or anything, but I barely remember the act, but I know I felt like crap in the morning. Now, maybe this is a generational thing (I'm 42) but I never, ever, felt like blaming the man for my actions. I knew I was drinking too much, I came on to him, and I took a huge risk. He could have been an axe murderer, or I could have gotten pregnant or an STD. I have to say, I blamed my friends a little....but in their defence, none of them were driving, so they were all drinking as well, and we were young. After that expereince, we ( my friends and I ) made a point to engage in some serious "cockblocking" if we were even a little tipsy. | |
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| When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 4/24/2008 6:15:31 PM | | if she is innocent so to speak because she was drunk then why is he not also innocent becuase he is also drunk? when a woman drinks she gets horny. if she says yes then its here dumb fault. cannot call it rape. this is jsut ridiculous. two concenting adults agreeing to have sex but she is gonna call it rape? i can see the headlines in the paper lady gets drunk , wants sex, gets sex and calls it rape. lol too funny. this post may sound a bit mean but its the truth. | |
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| When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 4/26/2008 2:27:30 AM | suzanne36 lkn,
Yes, on both counts. People may get drunk for a lot of reasons. For all anyone else knows, a drunk person may just have found his mother dead that day, found out her fiance's fallen in love with another woman, or lost his wife in a car wreck. If a person so overwrought gave a stranger all their money, or allowed someone with an STD to have sex with them, they would have every right to feel used afterwards.
Outside of war, it's wrong to take advantage of people when they're temporarily unable to watch out for themselves. By getting drunk, a person may be running the risk that other people will take advantage of them--but they're not *authorizing* them to do that. Whatever someone's reason for getting drunk, it's wrong to profit at their expense and then excuse yourself by claiming they "consented." Someone really intoxicated isn't capable of *knowingly* consenting to anything. | |
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| When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 4/26/2008 3:14:33 AM | Consider what you would have done if she wasn't drunk, but just in a bad frame of mind at the time.
One day at 18 I came home from school and found no one home and a note on the table that my parents were getting a divorce. I really needed the support of a friend at the time. The only person I knew with divorced parents was a guy that I thought was my friend. He had been trying to pressure me into having sex previously and I always said no. However, that day I was so upset (crying nonstop ) that when he started pressuring me I said "I don't care". I was just too upset to argue with him about it. He knew that if I wasn't so upset I would have said no, but he did it anyway. The part that upset me the most was he took my virginity. I would never consider what he did rape. However, I do believe he took advantage of me and of a bad situation.
I don't think your situation should be considered rape. However, I do believe that you took advantage of a girl that you knew wasn't thinking straight when she consented to it. Doesn't really matter if she was completely wasted or just a little drunk. She was still not thinking clearly at the time. I don't think you should feel justified in your actions whether it is considered rape or not. You still did a spineless thing, rape or not. | |
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| When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 4/26/2008 5:10:26 AM | i've had drunk women in my arms since age 17 and i never took advantage of them, but in retrospect i wish i would have as women often get drunk to have sex and then complain later.
i recall two girls who took me camping and they both wanted me, and i refused them both, including the gf i was with that i was being respectful of her virginity. i tell u nice guys will always finish last - after that trip i got dumped for the guy who tried to rape her 6 years earlier.
it's basically rape upon the first concerted (not passing) thought of actually trying to make it happen - unless the gal wanted to have dead-sex as a planned venture, it's a transgression against another human being. | |
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| When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 4/26/2008 5:38:40 AM | | If someone is so inebriated that they cannot make a proper judgement you should leave them alone. They should not drive or go home with a stranger. You're only asking for trouble. Do you really want a cop knocking on your door one day and playing he said she said? Protect yourself. Is one night of sex worth screwing up your entire life for? Plenty of guys have been railroaded for this exact thing. Use your head. If you have never had a 100% sober woman you've known for 5 minutes insist on you taking her home for sex, then logically you should be able to deduce that her behavior is NOT normal. | |
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| When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 4/26/2008 5:57:24 AM | | It is my opinion, when you do have sex with someone whom you hardly know and they are drunk you are not a gentleman. Even if the woman said she wanted to have sex earlier in the evening, when you noticed she was drunk you should have moved on. Besides how good is sex with someone who doesn't care about you, won't remember she even had it AND how do you know she doesn't do this alot and has some disease? | |
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JWRed
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Joined: 1/27/2008
Msg: 100 | |
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