| When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 6/2/2008 1:52:40 PM | | I was drunk one time and a friend who was interested in me, but not I in him, was with me. He ended up initiating things and I didn't want to, I even said "We shouldn't do this, I don't want to," etc. But he kept going. I had been raped in the past, and although not fully conscious, I became really afraid and scared, and started softly crying, which he, drunk didn't notice. He says that he thought I wanted it, that I was just joking, or he thought I said something different. I say he had no right and when I wasn't reciprocating he should've backed off. When he tried to kiss me I moved away or turned my head, but again, not the strongest when intoxicated. And he's a lot stronger than I am in general. Basically, I just closed my eyes and wanted it to stop once he wouldn't stop. Our friendship was severely damaged, I became afraid of him and couldn't trust him anymore. But I never brought him to court over it. | |
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| When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 6/2/2008 2:50:09 PM | I know how it feels to be the girl who is drunk but still in control of myself and had a one night stand, I regret every moment of it but i never blamed the guy for taking the advantage because at the end of the day i still was capable of making a decision and handed it over on a plate  but i do regret it deeply because this guy pestered me for two weeks and it made me feel worse even though i had told him i made the mistake. when you have one night stands you are risking your life, is sex worth more?
no never .
Don't feel guilty she wanted it as much as you, you didn't force her to do it!
Make a wiser decision next time  | |
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| When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 6/2/2008 4:54:45 PM | I just don't understand the mentality of any man taking advantage of a drunk girl--its just sick--Girls that go to bars should always be with a best friend (not drinking!) that will NOT let her leave with someone --no matter what!! Look at all the what if's and regrets of friends of Natalie Holloway (missing on Sr trip in Aruba-never found and no one charged--) She is /was a daughter,
For Gods sake people, use some responsibility and morality--guys, your not animals, dont act like it! Wouldn't you like the person you are the next day for helping her insead of taking advantage of someone..? THINK!!!! that could be your daughter someday..... | |
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| When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 6/2/2008 5:53:28 PM | | If a drunk girl voluntarily follows a guy to his house or allows a guy to come to her house, she has just put out the welcome mat. Obviously if a guy forcibly rapes her that is a bad thing but this whole "he put pressure on me and I was too drunk to resist very much" is BS. Girls, if you want to avoid much of these type of problems, don't go home with guys or have them come to your home when you are drunk. | |
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| When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 6/2/2008 6:03:20 PM | what a silly post...
its rape if/when she says NOOOOOOOOO!! No means NO! If she is flailing about say NO, STOP, get off me then its rape. If she is passed out unconcious and unable to consent its rape!
If none of those things apply and she gives you the cold shoulder in the morning...she has buyers remorse that she chose to have an encounter with you...either cuz she thinks you'll not call cuz you think she's a slut or because it was no good.
as always, just my opinion | |
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| When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 6/2/2008 6:13:31 PM | When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
When she steals your car keys, wallet, imitation snakeskin cowboy boots, fake civil war belt buckle, your favorite bunny slippers that you claimed belonged to a niece who left them behind last Christmas Eve, oh, and she drinks your last gay bottle of Corona...
I feel so violated... | |
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| When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 6/2/2008 6:33:08 PM | QUOTE:: I just don't understand the mentality of any man taking advantage of a drunk girl--its just sick--Girls that go to bars should always be with a best friend (not drinking!) that will NOT let her leave with someone --no matter what!! Look at all the what if's and regrets of friends of Natalie Holloway (missing on Sr trip in Aruba-never found and no one charged--) She is /was a daughter,
For Gods sake people, use some responsibility and morality--guys, your not animals, dont act like it! Wouldn't you like the person you are the next day for helping her insead of taking advantage of someone..? THINK!!!! that could be your daughter someday..... ::END QUOTE
ha.. hahaha.. hahahahaah... BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA..
taking advantage.. what are you 9 years old? i couldnt even read the entire garbage you wrote hahahahaa.. taking advantage oh what a laugh.. thanks. | |
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| When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 6/2/2008 6:56:42 PM | | Rape is sexually violating someone, using force or coercion. When an "adult" woman goes to a bar, makes the adult decision to drink over the limits of her limitations, she is giving out her power to access to herself by others. This is not rape! It is a conscious adult decision to enter an environment when you can get sex or be offered sex! Of course, the woman might accuse the person whom she had sex with of rape, which is not cause because taking a person to her/his house or the other person's house is viewed as a consensual action! Rape would be in a case she or he is taken out of the bar by force(drunk or not) and sexually violated in a dark alley, the back of the bar or the back seat of a car! If you don't want to be in such situations just do not drink or at least have a friend to back you up in case you lose it. Bars and night clubs are meat markets, don't act like you did not know! | |
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| When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 6/2/2008 7:20:58 PM | | You're absolutely right boris, but it's amazing how many sickos hang out in bars, passive aggressive types just waiting to get at the low hanging fruit. Back in '90, I visited a female friend of mine in Detroit. We went out with some of her girlfriends and they proceeded to get plastered. Well, some seedy characters suggested we rent a hotel room and party there after the bar closed down. They were slimey dudes but not aggressive at all, just hoping that someone would party naked so they could join in. Good thing, cause they were big dudes and could have been dangerous. I was in good shape back then but I get a little on edge, kinda like my spidey sense was firing off and I grabbed the gals and ushered them out of there before something happened that they would all regret the next day. But it's odd, it seemed like the women almost wanted something weird to happen, I guess loneliness leads people to exercise some pretty poor judgement... | |
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| When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 6/2/2008 7:25:02 PM | I think it's time people who get all f****d up on drugs or alcohol take responsibility for their own actions ... wherever it is, bar or house party or wherever. Yes, we definitely get inebriated and our judgement definitely gets clouded, but here are the facts that were presented in the forum. She is an adult, she drank too much, she literally requested a pounding, and she ultimately is the one who opened her legs. Do you think this is the first or last time she has done or will be doing this? We can blame the OP, but apparently she made the call and he was thinking with his little head.  | |
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| When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 6/2/2008 8:10:53 PM | liana....i agree, in the instance outlined by the OP this is NOT rape. she asked for it therefore giving her consent, and simply had buyers remorse the next day.
however, if a woman is at a bar and goes home with a man she still has the right to change her mind!! if upon arrival at his place or hers she says NO...it means NO! and the same applies if the man were to say NO!
so to spanish and boricua in this forum, just because a woman happens to be at a bar enjoying a****ail it is NOT and invitation to f@ck her. Just because the two of you end up somewhere it is not necessarily an invitation to f$ck! If at ANYTIME one party says NO and the other party continues to force themselves it IS RAPE!!!
i am astonished at the neanderthal thinking that because a woman is at a bar its an invitation to f#ck...it is simply not true if she is not a willing, consenting party! Rape doesn't begin at the bar unless you attack her in the backroom or bathroom. RAPE is about the violence/control over another during the sexual act. Again, if at ANY TIME the word NO or STOP are uttered it is no longer a mutually consentual act! If those words are never uttered than you're golden to keep on pounding away.
wow...the responses in this forum truly amaze me....
so Boricua, by your thinking if all your 'first meetings' are an invitation to f#ck then because the woman shows up and merely by showing up you assume she is consenting to f@ck? It's an interesting thought process you possess...good luck with that. | |
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| When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 6/2/2008 10:06:40 PM | | It is considered rape when she sees your face and decides she doesn't LIKE how you look. . .OR it is considered rape when you didn't make her cum enough. . .okay, we now return you to our more serious responses. . .damn, dude. . .why not make sure she likes you BEFORE she is drunk!? | |
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| When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 6/2/2008 10:29:03 PM |
We only spoke for about five minutes and she said, "Take me home and f*** me." She was definitely drunk, but not completely wasted.
What di you give her a breathalyzer? haha.
I've been guilty of doing this a few times in the past, I was totally trashed. I regretted it in the morning and I'm sure she did too.
Tough call, I guess when your stone sober, know better, but continue buying her drinks and swindle her into your car, etc. At that point, I guess your a rapist. I have never remember the ride home or much of what we did and how it went. Maybe we didn't even have sex and just woke up naked. | |
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| When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 6/3/2008 3:59:28 AM | I hate to break it to the person that said they didn't want to f*ck, but they did want to, and they tried when they were sober, these were people I knew, geez. When are people going to more carefully read these forum posts??!! By the way, I don't do it with folks that hang out in those joints because ppl that frequent meat market bars don't really care about you, they just want to get laid with no strings attached.
My first post was in gest, my second a very serious warning to women that there are lowlife predators to watch out for. I have never personally picked up a woman in a bar regardless how drunk they were or the offers I got. I only go to bars to unwind and have a few beers but let's face it, they are pick-up joints and that's the main reason guys and gals go there. So get off the soap box and face the facts. People go there to get laid not to establish monogamous longterm relationships. The folks there don't usually even use their real names. So if it's mutual, it can't be rape. If as someone has already pointed out, it's forced in an alley or else where, or rushed, then I guess the woman/man feels slighted that it wasn't "romantic" enough. Give me a break! People don't go there to find a romantic lay, they just want to get it on and get it over. Especially the later they hang out waiting for it. Now if they don't get obnoxiously drunk, then maybe they are more civilized and worthy of further consideration but if someone wants to go home that night with you, then there isn't any excuses possible - ho-down time!
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| When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 6/3/2008 10:41:22 AM | ^^^^^
this is pretty much it. trolling the bars for women can lead to rape convictions in a lot of place. Even when it's true the old cliche of "she was asking for it" is not a viable defense if she is drunk.
Just remember it this way. the only time it is technically not rape is if you point blank ask her if she will have sexual intercourse with you without anything unnatural in her system. Whether you will be convicted or charged or any of that is a different story but in almost all states you legally have to verbally ask permission for sex while she is completely dead sober. At anytime during sex she either says no, or does any non-verbal communication indicating any displeasure at what you are doing, you better stop right that second (even if you werent doing anything she didnt want, just hitting the wrong spot or doing something too slow and she didnt say anything, better be safe than sorry and just pull out of the situation immediately)
sound stupid? yeah I'm meaning it to sound stupid. But thats the world we live in. one where a sober woman who sleeps with a guy and has regrets later isnt raped and one where she has one glass of wine and regrets it later and its rape. This isnt to say that there arent cases where there truely is rape that occured. I understand that and I'm not suggesting that those are not serious matters. But for a guy to even have rape charges brought against him basically destroys his entire life. So if you want to protect yourself from that kind of thing ever possibly happening don't go to bars for women, don't ever drink with your girlfriend/wife/random lady you meet, and videotape/audiotape the consent. Might be overboard but then again, its not thought of that way when women are "protecting themselves from the perverts trolling the internet who are sexual preditors" is it? | |
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| When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 6/3/2008 10:46:35 AM | Speaking of being responsible for oneself. . .HELLOOOO???. . .if you get drunk and tell a guy to take you home and do you then YOU are not being responsible for yourself. If you got your "i'm-just-s-poor-helpless-drunk-girl-who-is-too-repressed-to-get-what-I-really-want-when-I-am-sober" ass intoxicated then YOU are not being responsible in the first place.
Law? Hell, women were not able to vote at one point. Just because you call something a law does not mean it is fair.
Perhaps we really need a lawyer to post here. | |
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| When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 6/3/2008 11:25:42 AM | Its not rape if the girl is awake and concious. If she was to pass out, and you still slept with her, thats rape. If she said yes at first, but then changed her mind and said no, and you still slept with her, thats rape. If she said yes, and said yes the whole time, and was just as much apart of it as you were, then its not rape. She just made a bad judgement on her part. As well did you.
Think next time. Its NEVER safe to sleep with strangers. No matter how much booze is in them. | |
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| When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 6/3/2008 11:29:44 AM | i want my date 100% coherent, no booze no drugs. if she is going to consent, then i want her to be fully aware of that decision. no exceptions ever.
the law states " rape is any sexual activity that involves force and the victim did not or cannot give any consent at the time of the incident. Even if consent is given by the other party, it is not usually valid when the victim:
is under the influence of alcohol or,
is being forced through blackmail or,
is mentally impaired or,
is below the age of consent (age of consent depends on the country)" | |
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| When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 6/3/2008 11:32:58 AM | I'm not moralizing.. I really don't care what the "justification" or attitudes are.... just stating the law. LIFE ISN'T FAIR, We've all (well a fair number of us) had a few too many and had sex with someone for the first time... and I would think that at that point we legally could not have been giving informed consent. But.. it DOESN'T MATTER how we view it.. that's the damn law and if a person wants to protect themselves from prosecution they'd better damn well know the risks. It's like the fact that sex with another frequently results in children.... doesn't matter if it's fair or not.. that's the reality of it.. and the risk one takes when sharing genetic material. So if you don't want kids WRAP IT UP or get snipped.. if you don't want to take the risk of maybe being accused of rape.. then make sure your partner is reasonably sober (hard to tell sometimes, play on the safe side), has actually consented or get it in WRITING with a witness.
really
take care of yourselves | |
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| When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 6/3/2008 1:56:29 PM | What many of you dont get is in the laws eyes it doesnt' matter if its rape or not. After the fact the woman can say it was rape and then you have a situation of your word against hers.
If she has charges pressed against you, you are arrested, booked, and then it goes on your record. You then spend thousands on lawyers fees and maybe jail time.
If you are a loser and you can only get sex by getting a girl so drunk she wont remember, then take the risk if you must. Real men dont take advantage of drunk women. I had this happen twice and both times I took the girl home.
Any loser that takes a girl that so messed up with alcohol to screw them is a scumbag. If they did it to my sister they wouldn't be walking long. | |
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