| When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 6/20/2008 11:11:36 AM | hello,
just to relate an experience for someone close to me . . .
he was introduced by his friends to a new girl. they were drunk when they had sex (the same night they met). whether she was raped or "changed her mind" wasn't relevant, apparently, as he did three years on a criminal sex charge. and now he's on the sex offender registry here in Michigan. sort of complicates your life, does it not? everyone treats you like some kind of freak, assumes the worst, etc.
so, law, schmaw. I read the court transcript and it sounded like the argument could have gone either way (consensual/non-consensual) but for whatever reason, he got convicted. the take-away, seems to me, is you don't want to put yourself in that position, and i'm talking from the male perspective. i would expect there is a bias in the legal system against males, and it's there for a reason, that we've come by our "bad rap" honestly, if you will.
besides, boys and girls, how GOOD is drunk sex anyway? :=)
skg | |
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| When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 6/20/2008 5:14:43 PM | This is crazy that a girl can go to a bar, get sauced, go have random sex, then cry rape in the morning.
Im no lightweight, Im no stranger to a blank spot or two, but on some level I know whats going on and what Im doing. Trust me the temptation is out there, All those good looking fellas  , but you still have your common sense about you.
* Of couse we are talking a drunkin good time, not rape. | |
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| When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 6/20/2008 5:16:50 PM | Morally, the quote by kittenshere41, "when people are drinking they still know what they are doing. she is just as responsible as he is. drinking is no excuse. no need to sex somene and cry later" is accurate but in reality, drunk or not, you had better have a lot of background on any woman you have sex with.
Men are now being convicted when the full act was consensual and the woman had remorse or a guilt attack the next day. A man legally at risk for any sexual act or overture, no matter how mutal, if at any time the woman decides to take offense. Most women are sane enough to not be a risk. Spending a little time and using a little wisdom can tell you which woman you are safe with to not make false allegations.
Our Crime Victims Assistance Programs give tens of thousands of dollars to women just for making an allegation. Kobe Bryant's accuser received $25K within days of making the allegation she later recanted. She did not even have to wait for a conviction. Ask your local CVA Program director about these awards for alleged rape or sexual assault. It pays big money.
But a drunken woman you meet in a bar is not the most stable and you are being exceptionally stupid for even thinking of taking her home for sex, much less being alone with her with no one to witness you did not assault or rape her. Today it is suicidal for a man to be alone with a strange drunken woman. She can even murder you and claim assault and still get her blood money from the CVA.
If this post sounds implausible, just watch your local newspaper for details over the next month. You will probably see verification within days if you are in a larger city. | |
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| When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 6/20/2008 5:21:00 PM | Just an fyi... anytime a person has sex with someone who is under the influence of ANYTHING does not constitute as consenting. Therefore, even if a hypothetical woman were to cry foul due to the inability to control the amount of liquor she was drinking, she could still file a rape charge against the man.
Ciao- | |
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| When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 6/23/2008 10:34:48 PM | I was curious about what I'd see in this discussion. SoTex is right on target. It can be scary to be a single male. (Personally I don't cruise the bars or do one nighters at all. I'd rather have alot of sex with the same woman, than alot of sex with many different women.)
I know a woman who has not once, but THREE times cried rape after the fact. On three separate occassions, she was caught cheating on her boyfriend, a different guy each time. She does not drink or use any intoxicating substances. Not at all. AFTER she was caught, she began to cry and feel remorse which soon changed to " I never wanted it". All three times she cried rape, when she really felt guilt. Then all three times she recanted her story before criminal charges were processed.
The victims here are her poor boyfriend (who blindly believed her each time) and those 3 guys who were publicly accused. One of them was assaulted in "revenge".
For whatever reason, this girl decided to confide in me with the details. My conclusion is that she is such an emotional mess that it's scary. After rewriting history so many times, she doesn't even know what happened. She is frightening, dangerous. I'm so glad I don't mess around with girls like that! | |
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| When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 6/24/2008 2:47:50 PM | well this is an interesting question, and to each their own as i know nothing of the legal aspects of this topic. However there are a couple things that make it so i would never take a drunk girl home for that sort of activity. when i was in highschool there were a few times i would drink to the point of passing out, where i didn't know what was going on, but i was still active and doing stuff...i just was unaware of what i was doing and would come in and out of conciousness as i did it.
To me knowing that's a possibility i wouldn't take the risk of that happening to someone because "she doesn't seem that drunk". If she is under the influence i don't think that she's able to make an informed decision, and besides...if I"M going to be with someone, i would hope that the first time was something special to us both. hope i don't sound like a  just wanted a reason to use the emoticon :) | |
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| When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 2/7/2009 3:20:17 PM | I won't do it. I have turned down "sure things" because I just won't do it. It's not worth it to me. Besides the fact that drunk sex SUCKS in my view... (Unless it's Jagermeister!)
But yeah I won't do it because A: I want the girl to participate and do things to me to turn me on, not just lie there. B: I don't want to do all the work. C: A girl stopping in the middle to pee, kinda takes the romance out of it. And D: If you have ever had a drunk chick BARF on your****while she's blowing you, I will pay you a million dollars if you can still get it up after THAT!
No way, no thanks if she is DRUNK! I'm taking her home and she can leave her head spinning on the bed ALONE!
Now stoned or buzzed is a different matter entirely. But fall down DRUNK!!! HELL NO! I'm not that desperate, and not that pathetic to use somebdy in that awful condition as a personal masturbatory aid/prop of just my personal gratification. (And I use that term loosely!)
Personally for me I do consider it rape. When women I knew in college would brag about fvcking some guy (or guys) and they couldn't remember where, who, or if they even bothered to use a condom (most did NOT if you can believe it!) I just wanted to throw UP!
And naturally they called me "gay" or "a p*ssy" because I ultimately objected to their "lifestyle" or their offers to "straighten me out."
Well I'm still clean and I can sleep at night, so in retrospect I don't think I missed out on much! | |
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| When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 2/7/2009 4:27:43 PM | I picked up a chick years ago... She was with her friends and my friends... so we split to my place, ditching everyone...
When we get there... She's started to stagger....She's a lot drunker than she was in the bar... probably earlier drinks caught up with her... I sat her down....she tosses her cookies....thank god for a nearby garbage pail....then passed out.... I wrapped her in a blanket(still dressed) and put her on the couch...
About 10 minutes later, her girlfriends show up at my door... they had been worried about her and pestered my buddies to bring them over....
The door was still unlocked as it happens and all of a sudden, 3 angry chicks, and 3 apologetic buddies come straight in... no knock....!
The chick is sleeping fine... I'm playing a video game.... sipping a beer.... thankfully....
To be honest, I was kind of glad her friends showed up... it was pretty clear nothing had happened in the 15 odd minutes we got there ahead of them.... and that I had looked after her.... but it might have been a different story the next morning if she couldn't remember what happened....
I ran into her a few days later...( we never did have sex), but she thanked me for not being an ass.... | |
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| When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 2/7/2009 4:35:54 PM | | OP, if someone was tanked up, acting like a pig probably and said "take me home and fcuk me", then I think i'd tell her she's nothing but a "fcuking pig" and walk away. After all, do you really want her STD's.........AIDS........ewwwwww, too risky, don't ya think? That way, you don't have to worry about a possible pending rape charge and you don't have her skank all over your bed sheets...... | |
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| When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 2/7/2009 10:44:47 PM |
At the bar, there was no question that she wanted me to take her home. We only spoke for about five minutes and she said, "Take me home and f*** me."
For you to pick up a girl in 5 minutes, drunk or not, you have real skill. I wish I knew what the secret was... I'd give anything to know exactly what you said/did that got her to excited, although it may have been your looks alone. | |
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| When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 2/8/2009 12:51:14 AM | Tell you what, couple of things.
1. If you're all up on a virtually passed out woman, that's kinda pathetic. If she's just visibly buzzed, then I don't see how (since 9/10 the man is in a similar state) how that's even remotely close to rape.
2. With the exception of foreign chemicals being added to liquor or forced consumption, we're talking gun to the head or restraining here, only 1 person made the decision to drink until drunk and that's you. The fact is, men get too drunk and they might wake up to a fat chick, they mark it as a personal loss and know they probably couldnt' get it up anyway. Women wake up to some unnattractive****and suddenly he's a rapist. It's social, plus the accusation is death to a man's social standing btw, so be careful where you throw it.
3. While I can see how it would be considered rape to force yourself on a woman passed out on the floor of a bar and not likely to wake up for a few hours. I have aboslutely 0 sympathy for that person. Infact less than 0. F*ck this society and it's god damn importance on "letting loose and getting intoxicated beyond reason." If you stop being able to make decisions, it shouldn't mean you're no longer accountable for them. You were sober, you knew the risks.
So in short, either outlaw alcohol, or more preferably, force people who are drinking to sign a waiver. They're respsonible for what happens. You wanna play russian roullete with your sh*t, who cares.
I don't see why people are making it the responsibility of *everyone but themselves* when they decide to intoxicate themselves to the excess.
Before anyone says I'm cold hearted, or don't know how to have fun, or starts thinkin I'm too serious. Just ask yourself, what the hell is the point of "having so much fun you can't remember exactly what you did, if anything at all from the time in question." ?
Just an fyi... anytime a person has sex with someone who is under the influence of ANYTHING does not constitute as consenting. Therefore, even if a hypothetical woman were to cry foul due to the inability to control the amount of liquor she was drinking, she could still file a rape charge against the man.
Ciao-
lol, I hope 1 day you see how ridiculous this comment is. I sort of hope we get to the stage in society where drivers are too drunk to make any decisions and there-fore can't be held responsible for drunk driving, nor any accidents cause while under the influence and behind the wheel. I want crippled people to have the judge look them in the eye and say "Sorry, I know the guy plowed into you but he'd had a 26 of jack and 10 beers! It's not his fault he spilt his mixer and mounted the curb you were standing on." | |
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| When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 2/8/2009 2:15:11 AM | Under the victimhood doctrine a woman can be rendered as powerless upon consumption of alcohol, may keep her right to behave as 'easy' , have the right to regret it next day and, at her own discretion, claim allegation of rape.
Consent may be deemed as absent by mental impairment due to black out from alcohol abuse.
She may be guilty of poor judgment but, that is not a crime. Men must figure out how drunk the woman is to determine her level of conciousness and/or awareness.
Same rule for men do not apply and some of their claims may be considered as laughable jokes.
However, in UK was ruled that "drunk consent is still a consent" as is considered such in other countries.
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| When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 2/8/2009 2:26:36 AM | I hope the government sends you guys breathalysers in the mail.
Drunk chicks make me too angry to ever touch one, but man... Some guys are going to have to start asking women to ask a straight line before getting into bed.
"Touch your nose please... no that's not your nose, touch your nose, look that comes next. Nose first." | |
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| When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 2/8/2009 8:09:02 AM | | This is really a complicated situation and the easiest thing to do is not to sleep with her... the problem is if she is drunk chances are so are you.... I would think a sober man taking home a drunk girl is rather like a predator and selfish. A girl who gets sloppy drunk and regrets the next morning is immature and needs her posse to keep her under control... inhibitions go out the window when drinking.... if you aren't that type of girl but find yourself in someone's bed regretting many times then perhaps the problem is your drinking.. there are a minority of guys who do prey on those type women and enjoy the next morning of laughing her off as a sl_t.... | |
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| When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 2/8/2009 8:22:49 AM | | Just read the first page. For me, rape exists at the word "No." As soon as that is said and you keep going, then God help you. I don't jive with a woman getting too intoxicated then having sex and using that as an excuse for rape when not once during the encounter did she express indications that she didn't want it to happen. | |
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| When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 2/8/2009 12:18:14 PM | | I wouldn't do it! It's considered rape the second she wants to call it that because she's feeling bad about what she did. The burden is then yours to prove your innocence. She doesn't have to prove anything.. so much for being innocent until proven guilty! And suppose that she goes back on her story or by some stroke of luck you're found not guilty.. your name has been splashed all around the media in the mean time proclaiming you a rapist! Sorry, not something I'm willing to risk for some random sex | |
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