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 matchlessm
Joined: 11/11/2007
Msg: 101
When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?Page 5 of 18    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18)
People do all sorts of things that fall short of being crimes, but are not admirable or even moral. The best way to discourage those actions, when the law can't, is by shaming or shunning people who take them. But the anonymity that comes with living in big cities tends to make that harder to do--"I'll never see them again anyway." But if people in our social circle do sleazy things, we shouldn't hesitate to let them know, by what we say, do, or both, what we think of them.
 danieljarvis
Joined: 12/25/2007
Msg: 102
When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 4/26/2008 5:37:51 PM
if women are so much better than men,why do they produce them? these problems will last as long as the sun
 Anvilghost
Joined: 3/7/2008
Msg: 103
When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 4/26/2008 6:00:01 PM
I say if they ever accuse you of raping them, accuse them back for raping you. The judge will say you were both drunk and he doesn't know who to believe.
 howbigisyourlove
Joined: 9/1/2007
Msg: 104
When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 4/26/2008 6:27:24 PM
If she is sober .. bend'r over... and if she is drunk .. give 'r the hunk.....
R U nutz... since when is an addict of any shape or form .. capable of consential sex .. they are disgusting firstly to themselves and .. totally not in the moment.. hell they are so far buried in their own pain only to add more by adding your peaniss to her hind-azz.... this site kindah proves that their are very few people on the food chain that got their excretements in any form together, it blows me away .. how many deserve a lopping instead of bopping.... and what and watt a grand ol' time wee willy winker all will have when the largest and most severe global depression, world food shortage, soon to be enshrouded with a world pandemic and displaced and homeless amount of human life and all the people who have imaginary investments in our big gigantic economic world that mimics enron.....35 percent of the American population was displaced and had no shelter when the last great depression hit what I call planet "birth" (cause their ain't no other place to go YET!) we ain't seen nuthin yet butt I think you better get your crahap together be4 the cah cah hits the switch and more than 70 percent who ride flesh under the influence .. that is just plain slop...
 prairiechick2
Joined: 12/12/2007
Msg: 105
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When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 4/26/2008 6:43:09 PM
This is my take on taking a drunk girl home and having sex with her. Any guy or girl who takes advantage of anyone who is drunk is, in my opinion, desperate. If you can't get the same girl to sleep with you when she's sober, than you should not be trying to have sex with her when she's drunk. It's creepy.
 prairiechick2
Joined: 12/12/2007
Msg: 106
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When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 4/26/2008 6:47:35 PM
{ if women are so much better than men,why do they produce them? these problems will last as long as the sun }


That does not make any sense at all.
 matchlessm
Joined: 11/11/2007
Msg: 107
When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 4/26/2008 11:20:46 PM
prairiechick2,

How drunk would a woman need to be for a guy to be taking advantage of her by having sex with her? And just how would a guy know that he couldn't get the same girl to have sex with him, if she were sober?

One very rainy night years ago, I was at one of those gigantic dance bars. As I was about to leave, a young lady I'd been talking with earlier in the evening appeared beside me. She said her girlfriends had taken off, she knew she'd drunk too much, and she didn't think she should try to drive home. If I was going her way, could I give her a lift? If so, she'd pick up her car in the morning. She lived pretty close to me, so I said sure. I only meant to help her out.

After a few minutes, as we neared her place, the streets in places were like streams--good thing she wasn't driving. As I stopped in front, she put her hands on my arms, said something complimentary, then slid over and put her arms around me. "I really want you to come in." She was very pretty, and just for a moment, the angel on my one shoulder and the devil on the other had a hell of a row. But this time the angel won--dammit! I told her I was very flattered, but that she should be a good girl and go inside, drink some water, and go to bed. And off I drove, thinking of the fun I'd missed and feeling kind of idiotic.
 Greg8002
Joined: 3/11/2008
Msg: 108
When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 4/26/2008 11:33:26 PM
Personally speaking, I would never take a drunken woman home from a bar, for various reasons. I would also not have sex with her, for ethical reasons.

For a rape charge to stick, the prosecution, depending on the laws in your jurisdiction, would need to demonstrate several things. A defence to rape is consent, but it would be difficult to prove consent if you had sex with a woman while she was unconcious and effectively unable to give either explicit or implicit consent to you having sex with her. Even given her verbal statement you mention, the prosecution could still possibly argue her drunkeness prevented her from effectively using her reason to give proper consent to the sexual act.

Basically the bottom line is don't take advantage of someone who is vulnerable, especially where sex is concerned.
 hot bomshell
Joined: 4/12/2008
Msg: 109
When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 4/26/2008 11:35:42 PM
why would you want to take a girl that is drunk home from a bar she wouldn't remember in the morning if it was good or not or if she gave consent or not i leave that one alone your better going home alone shaz
 VirgoGrl
Joined: 2/28/2008
Msg: 110
When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 4/27/2008 6:25:16 AM
It is a good question since the girl in question may not even remember asking you to take her home and engage in sex with her. Is she wrong to drink so much and ask you to take her home? Yes. Are you wrong to comply? Yes. Keep in mind that she can easily accuse you of rape since she was "not in her right mind" and therefore not able to truly give her consent when you had sex with her. You may or may not agree but that won't make you feel any better if she cries rape and calls the police.
 katieb
Joined: 12/29/2007
Msg: 111
When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 4/27/2008 6:36:57 AM
as far as im concerned, if shes not in a fit state to say wether she wants sex or not then it shouldnt happen. Know some girls who have been drunk, agreed to sex and then the next morning accused them of rape. Its a risky game, best advice is when your suducing a girl make sure she not drunk. could make life a lot easier for you
 SPIRITS WILL FLY
Joined: 4/13/2008
Msg: 112
When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 4/27/2008 7:12:08 AM
well, I always go the rule if you bring a girl to the dance you should see she gets home safetly..... I would never pick up a drunken Woman, if they don't care about about themselves , not worth my time. Lets call this what it is what it is a case of low self esteem all boozed up. I try to maintain composure while out in public. In our society where people blame everything on anyone but themselves, keep your distance. I don't know about rape but I do know about living within a moral code that am proud to have any one scrutinize.
 Uncle Fist
Joined: 12/18/2006
Msg: 113
When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 4/27/2008 12:46:10 PM

Consider what you would have done if she wasn't drunk, but just in a bad frame of mind at the time.

One day at 18 I came home from school and found no one home and a note on the table that my parents were getting a divorce. I really needed the support of a friend at the time. The only person I knew with divorced parents was a guy that I thought was my friend. He had been trying to pressure me into having sex previously and I always said no. However, that day I was so upset (crying nonstop ) that when he started pressuring me I said "I don't care". I was just too upset to argue with him about it. He knew that if I wasn't so upset I would have said no, but he did it anyway. The part that upset me the most was he took my virginity. I would never consider what he did rape. However, I do believe he took advantage of me and of a bad situation.


Not to be a prick here, but you consented. End of story. He didn't take advantage of anything. If you didn't want to do it, all you had to say was no. It wasn't his fault that you didn't say no.

The fact that you "didn't care" doesn't release you from your part in the decision. If you KNEW ahead of time that this guy was going to pressure you for sex because he had been doing so repeatedly for a long time, why in the world did you choose to put yourself in a position where you would be subjected to this when you KNEW you were in a vulnerable position? Had this guy never tried to have sex with you in the past, that would be one thing. But you knew exactly what you were walking into and then walked into it anyway.

You can blame him for not being a real friend, but you really can't blame anybody for what happened other than yourself. That was your decision.


This thread makes me sad. It's disheartening to see how many women just expect to be relinquished of all responsibility and to make it the world's fault.
 prairiechick2
Joined: 12/12/2007
Msg: 114
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When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 4/27/2008 8:20:03 PM
Matchlessm,

It's not how drunk she'd have to be. It's that she's drunk at all. I'd say the same thing if it was reversed. A drunk guy, sober girl.

Thinking about how much fun you missed? About having sex with a drunk girl. Wow!
That's just it, how men think, how much fun they want to have. It doesn't matter if they are taking advantage of someone.

Your other question; just how would a guy know that he couldn't get the same girl to have sex with him if she were sober? Um, try picking that same girl up when she's sober. I am positive, 90% of the time it will result in a "no" from the girl.

Let's face it people, when you get drunk you make bad decisions. Like drinking and driving. You do things you would normally never do.

I've been in the same situation. A drunk guy who was very hot needed a ride home. I gave him a ride home. Nothing more. He wanted to have sex with me, but I said you're too drunk. How fun is that? A guy that can't even walk straight and reeks of alcohol all over you. YUCK!! Maybe if I was desperate I would've considered it. But I'm not. I prefer sober men. And I'm sure so do alot of other women.
 xchaosx
Joined: 9/11/2007
Msg: 115
When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 4/28/2008 1:57:22 AM
in british columbia, canada. it is ILLEGAL to have sex with a girl who is drunk even if she is telling you to **** her. because apparently she isnt in the right state of mind to give proper permission. thats what my counsellor told me. i dont know if its true. but i always belive it to be true. im not sure about the laws in the US though.
 The Ace in the Hole
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 116
When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 4/28/2008 2:36:12 PM
mjttigger1,

As Raphael stated and so did you, it cannot be considered rape. Is it right? Hell no. The last thing he should have been doing is asking you for sex in your fragile state. He took advantage of your vulnerability. You let him though. Does that make you a bad person? No. Weak perhaps, but not bad or vile. To me it makes him a creton. A friend that would do that is a friend you should do without, regardless of history. He had a history of attempts, it’s evident after that incident not much would stop this guy.

Why is it some people can’t read the OP in these forums?! There’s no mention of addiction or sleeping with someone who’s passed out or unconscious. We aren’t cavemen here, discussing our conquests. We don’t bomp women on the head with out clubs and drag them back to the cave they their hair only to pile drive them. Another thing. Someone mentioned at what point do we say a girl is too drunk. That is a really good point. I mean a rufie will make you black out whether you had one beer or twenty. Alcohol on the other hand has a more appropriate response to the actual alcohol intake.

^^^It’s also illegal to have anal sex in this country unless you are man and wife or are two consenting adults. I’m so confused just repeating that!

I agree that most women who’d go home with a guy drunk wouldn’t make the offer sober nor would they be too quick to jump into bed with that same man even while on a date. Alcohol lubricates everything. That’s a known fact. But the fact is most people who get drunk have been drunk before. It’s not an isolated incident. So you know what you are capable of and what you should and shouldn’t do. You make that conscious, albeit, drunk decision to go home with someone. That fact that you regret it the next morning, or even the same night before/during/after the sex is your own fault. And by you I don’t mean YOU. I mean the person going home with someone else. People need to man up and take some bloody responsibility for their actions already. I’m so tired of hearing about robbers who fell on a clothes rack and broke their nose and now want to sue the company. Man up.
 peacful1
Joined: 3/31/2008
Msg: 117
When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 6/2/2008 7:52:21 AM
best bet/ is to........get her phone number instead./or give her yours.

be careful!!/ especially if booze is involved!!/
 mafi0
Joined: 11/27/2007
Msg: 118
When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 6/2/2008 8:13:58 AM
what a load of crap, some of you women think your so vunerable when drunk.. jesus your adults start acting like one, 'oh but i was drunk and he had sex with me' cry me a river pleaseeeeeeeeeeee, wear a god damn chastidy belt if your so worried about copping some wang when you drink.

dont ever mention equal rights.. EVERRR!!
 sometimesithink2much
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 119
When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 6/2/2008 8:56:30 AM
I find this topic rather upsetting. I have a hard time understanding on one hand the state can totally hold a person regardless of gender for the act of drunk driving for example and on the other hand using a convoluted double standard when it comes to having sex. Further I don't know of any other criminal offences(re drunk driving.) that are excused for being intoxicated. This law should be challenged as gender discrimination.

The idea that someone is not responsible for their choices after a few drinks is absolutely preposterous. I agree with the idea that if they say "no" to intercourse that it is rape. But where do we draw a line regarding intercourse? If someone whom is completely wasted and unable to make a decent choice can be charged with impaired driving or any other criminal offence for that matter then how can they not be responsible for a "one night stand"?

Edit: Too add to the preposterous nature of this law even further. Having a "one night stand" isn't even illegal.

If both parties are intoxicated then nether are responsible for the event. If both parties are intoxicated then both are responsible for the event.

All of this is really making dealing with "real" rape cases much much more difficult as the grey area is stretched too far between a reasonable case and one that is unreasonable. We ought not make individuals irresponsible for their actions except in extreme instances. Otherwise it underminds the moral agency of the individual. In my humble opinion that doesn't include someone at the bar mildly intoxicated to the point where some inhibition is removed. This law is too fuzzy and opens the door wide to injustice and gender discrimination. Somewhere along the line a woman decided to get more intoxicated knowing full well what might happen in such a case.
 peacful1
Joined: 3/31/2008
Msg: 120
When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 6/2/2008 9:19:57 AM
well said!! and agreeable./
i see alcohol as a ----hmm.......a coach-us-along!!/ ppl change when it is involed, and not always able to make the proper desisions!! under the influence.

your point is well understood tho!!
 BeerShark
Joined: 10/5/2006
Msg: 121
When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 6/2/2008 9:43:15 AM
Rape is always rape when she has said no. In many places the abscense of an explicit consent is considered the same as a no. So if she has had to much to drink, your treading on dangerous ground.
 Nic36
Joined: 5/21/2008
Msg: 122
When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 6/2/2008 9:58:37 AM
I think it's all been said regarding consent. Ethics aside, while this is probably not legally rape in most jurisdictions, you are still playing with fire. Are you sure she is just drunk? What if there is GHB or Rohypnol or ketamine in her system and she tests positive after the fact? Even if YOU didn't drug her, you would certainly be held responsible for sexually assaulting her while she is drugged.
 Pepe LePew
Joined: 5/30/2008
Msg: 123
When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 6/2/2008 10:06:01 AM
THIS IS PROOF US THAT GOD HAS A GREAT SENSE OF HUMOR. HE GAVE US TWO HEADS & ONLY ENOUGH BLOOD TO OPERATE ONE AT A TIME!

I remember in the very early 80's my 17 yo shipmate got caught "CONSENTUALLY" boinking his 16 yo g/f by her mother (he was using a condom they were both sober). When our Commanding Officer found out,my shipmate was questioned about the circumstances and the boy was restricted to the ship for a month to appease the angry parents and that was it.

Now play that same story in 2008..... press, media, jail, rape, Pentagon closes Navy for a week for sensativity training, bla, bla, bla. Let's not forget the candidates and what they might say. How many MILLIONS/BILLIONS of $ would be spent to crucify this kid for political gain.

NOW LET'S ADD ANOTHER VARIABLE TO THE EQUATION......ALCOHOL.
 MelloDLyn
Joined: 10/25/2004
Msg: 124
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When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 6/2/2008 11:42:56 AM
If she were drunk and she passed out and u had sex that would be rape. If she were given a date rape drug and u had sex with her that is rape. If she were drunk and consented and u had sex with her that is drunked sex. She may regret it but she agreed at the time.
 Boricua Papi
Joined: 10/8/2007
Msg: 125
When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 6/2/2008 12:09:35 PM
Taking an "adult" woman who is drunk to your house and having sex with her is not rape. She made an "adult" decision to get drunk in an environment she knew she was going to find fast sex. Relax and don't feel guilty about it! If she regrets it afterwards, tell her "let's do it again sober!"
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