| Dinner then a HOTEL? Does this happen a lot?
Posted: 4/24/2008 5:39:20 AM | | they dont want to "pay" for it, it makes them a loser in their mind to hire a prostie, but what are they doing with you? they are trying to buy you, win you over with some nice things, a show of some money, trying to impress then undress..i would tell you that the next time you meet someone, just come out and tell them, if you take me to a motel, your getting kicked very hard, or better yet but a little tazer and zap their married asses, bet you a hundred bucks they are married.. | |
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| Dinner then a HOTEL? Does this happen a lot?
Posted: 4/24/2008 6:31:18 AM | Kingcuppie....after viewing your profile and seeing that you are looking for "the one", I'm sure this was said in jest.
its so stupid to wait for sex. its better to know from the start if theres good chemistry/sex. Waiting and getting close to the guy mentally and then the sex is no good later, does that make sense? UM NO! lol
you women are a joke! lol
If your comment was serious, I'm hoping you don't have a problem with "the one" having slept with every man she ever went out with....after all "its better to know from the start if there's good chemistry/sex". 
Sweetie, the "good chemistry" is a precursor to good sex.....they are NOT synonymous. I want to know that "good chemistry" is there before I would even consider sleeping with a man.
The worst thing that could happen in the scenario you mention
Waiting and getting close to the guy mentally and then the sex is no good later, does that make sense? UM NO! lol is that you've spent some time with a man and come to like him and who he is....if you then take the next step and the sex is disappointing and it isn't fixable (after all, a little talking about likes and dislikes, a little "hands on" demonstrating can create a lot of improvement) you move on. If you have sex with everyone you meet before getting to know them, there are a lot more SERIOUS consequences that can come from that scenario.
Remember Cuppie...good sex is a journey.....not a destination. 
Rose Mary | |
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| Dinner then a HOTEL? Does this happen a lot?
Posted: 4/24/2008 6:53:11 AM | When I was a younger and much more naive lady, I ran across a bunch of upwardly mobile men who had an investor`s club. Well, they also had a little hobby of seeing how many women they could bed down,unknowlingly videotaped the results, and then swappped the porn they had made with the women . I never got sucked into it , but alot of young pretty naive girls did. Some even held positions in our state`s government.
The worst offender finally got caught- and had been very active in a bill fighting child pronography. He got a slap on his hand and was on his way.
You got to watch the boys, especially the powerful ones. They have no morals. Sometimes people to them are nothing more than entertainment and pawns in a game of chess. | |
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| Dinner then a HOTEL? Does this happen a lot?
Posted: 4/24/2008 7:26:33 AM | ^^^^^^^^ Merry....SOOOOO TRUE!!!
My brother-in-law's boss is very powerful and wealthy....has a debilitating illness, but it still able to induce beautiful young women in their 20's (he's nearly 70) into his games because of his wealth. If he were an average Joe, these women wouldn't give him a glance. He uses these women as toys (granted they are willing participants because of his money)...but it just sickens me. ...and as you say, many are so naive.
I have met some wonderful men who were powerful and wealthy who used it to make the world a better place and improve people's lives. It's sad when some use it for their own selfish gratification at the mercy of sometimes innocent and naive young women. Reminds me of the old SNL skit "Land Shark!!!" "Land Shark"!!!
Rose Mary | |
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| Dinner then a HOTEL? Does this happen a lot?
Posted: 4/24/2008 7:33:40 AM | Hunni no way did you do anything - a lot of men think that us women are here for them to use for free prostitution, and they make no bones about saying - "you ate the dinner didn't you"? One way to scupper the plan for men like this:- go dutch, takes the blackmail right out of the argument.
Dont know why these men bother to date, they should go straight for the 0898 (UK porn) and get a girl who is a sure thing from the minute he pays her | |
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| Dinner then a HOTEL? Does this happen a lot?
Posted: 4/24/2008 7:45:53 AM |
I never heard the "I get in your car, you get in my pants" rule
That's because there is no such rule. If there were, cab drivers would be getting alot of action... | |
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| Dinner then a HOTEL? Does this happen a lot?
Posted: 4/24/2008 1:19:52 PM | Gotta watch cabbies too,
Had a couple start callin me because they had my number from the call for a ride, and a few watch what building in a complex I walked into and followed me with a knock on the door with some lame excuse about " Are these your sunglasses left in the cab?"
Had that happen twice. Now I don`t talk t them at all and make them drop me of out of eyeshot of where my apartment is. That kind of took care of it. No more problems.
Got to be a b!tch. | |
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| Dinner then a HOTEL? Does this happen a lot?
Posted: 4/24/2008 3:27:34 PM | There was no sexual talk between either of these men and myself... We always talked about his work, my work and travels that we both have done... Places we had lived before moving to Little Rock.... I NEVER NOT ONCE TOLD EITHR OF THEM, I WANTED SEX!!!
As far as dating wealthy men, and feeling as tho I have too... No I dont.. But I work among very professional and wealthy clients in my line of work... I network in that cirlce for my business... So I meet people from all walks of life and incomes...
I from here on out, prefer to go dutch on all expensese on a date... That way I am not having to pay with sex, as I must assume these men thought they were entitled too!
The funny thing is, if you were to know me, I am as far as a ONE night stand as they get.. I am never easy about anything concerning something like this.. But there is a soft side to me, a polite side, that maybe they thought they could take adventage of... I dont know, but it didnt happen and I am wiser to the next one... I also come prepared... I thank everyone for the insight that was/has been given to me.... I have taken some to heart and look to better educate myself for the next jerk that trys this one on me! Which I pray doesnt happen again!
Thanks! | |
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| Dinner then a HOTEL? Does this happen a lot?
Posted: 4/24/2008 4:30:28 PM | loislane wrote:
Apolinary,
I agree a first meet should be something innocuous. In the OP's case, these were not first meetings, these were first dates with grown men one of whom she knew for a year and saw on a daily basis. As they planned together to extend the date to another activity, which in her understanding, did not include the need for a hotel, she should be reprimanded for accepting dinner with this man when he inexplicably and unexpectedly took this detour? No, I think not.
I'm not reprimanding her. Rather, I'm saying that if a fellow has
a first date with "the best food, the best wine, and the best hotels
in town" then don't be surprised if he thinks everything is bought
and paid for. And it's not that even agree with that mentality, but
only that it is what it is -- there just are some fellows who presume
what's in their wallet can get them everything. And if a gal doesn't
want to so much run into that, then she's perhaps better off just
insisting on more humble first date venues, and/or insisting on
paying her own way.
But don't get me wrong because I'm not reprimanding her. I am,
however, suggesting a way she might better nip this sort of problem
in the bud before a first date even begins -- by not accepting
extravagant first dates where she's just letting a fellow pick up
the tab. Because after all, it's harder for him to be presumptive if
that first date is of a more innocuous variety, or, if folks want be
fancy about it, that they each pay their own way.
Apolinary | |
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| Dinner then a HOTEL? Does this happen a lot?
Posted: 4/24/2008 4:44:17 PM | Someone earlier wrote:
>> I never heard the "I get in your car, you get in my pants" rule
Cenettix wrote:
> That's because there is no such rule. If there were, cab drivers would be getting alot of action...
ROTFL.
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| Dinner then a HOTEL? Does this happen a lot?
Posted: 4/24/2008 4:46:04 PM | Curvey,
I have run into soooomuch of this. They have more money than you, they figure they have the upper hand intellectually, financially etc. They feel entitled. And they think you should feel honored that they want to do you, like it`s your big lucky break and you are going to go for it. They do this instead of prostitutes, and sorry to say probably in between prostitutes. You are plain and simply a toy to them. Never trust the generosity or kindnesses of a man.
He is usually looking for a payoff. We`re not in Kansas any more Dorothy.
Just turn down any dinner dates with men until they have gotten to know you well enough and have convinced you they have decent motives, and then don`t trust them. | |
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| Dinner then a HOTEL? Does this happen a lot?
Posted: 4/25/2008 7:58:52 AM |
Just turn down any dinner dates with men until they have gotten to know you well enough and have convinced you they have decent motives, and then don`t trust them.
There are a lot of decent men out there. Women have to use good judgement and effective communication when dating.
Most dating problems can be avoided by communicateing your expectations clearly and directly. | |
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| Dinner then a HOTEL? Does this happen a lot?
Posted: 4/25/2008 10:16:53 AM | > I have run into soooomuch of this.
If I had a dollar for every woman who claims to have dated a millionaire...
There's just simply aren't enough of these guys to go around.
> They have more money than you, they figure they have the
> upper hand intellectually, financially etc. They feel entitled.
If that was the case, they'd be expecting the woman to pay for the dinner, the hotel, and be all over him for sex. What they're doing sounds more like sh1twork to me.
> Never trust the generosity or kindnesses of a man.
It's so encouraging to see a woman who realizes it was women who totally killed off chivalry, one man at a time. | |
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| Dinner then a HOTEL? Does this happen a lot?
Posted: 4/29/2008 3:28:31 PM | | u said it when u said these men are looked up to in the community which could be interpeted as they are use to folks kissing their rumps and giving them what they want.These kind of guys are very scary and u should not go anywhere with them alone.I am dead serious here because they have just as many folks that are more then willing to cover their tracks if a mistake is made you know what I mean? | |
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| Dinner then a HOTEL? Does this happen a lot?
Posted: 4/29/2008 4:02:23 PM | Dinner and a hotel? 
What amateurs. I just have her meet me at a bar and bust a move inside. I like making out in public. That's how I roll.
Then when she explains that she does not do these kind of things, I nod in an understanding, non judgemental way. | |
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| Dinner then a HOTEL? Does this happen a lot?
Posted: 4/29/2008 4:19:30 PM | | Yes, this happens a lot. When you agree to meet at a restaurant, especially if the restaurant is an expensive one, you are giving permission to the man to do what he wants. Many men on dating sites give something for something. Stop falling in their games. Tell them to meet you at some inexpensive place, an outdoor retrieve or a park. Tell them you will pay part of the expenses or part of your food! If you just go and follow their game to the expensive restaurant you have no reason to blame them for their behavior! | |
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| Dinner then a HOTEL? Does this happen a lot?
Posted: 4/29/2008 4:27:48 PM | You know, I am not young, but until I joined POF, I had no idea that if a man took you to a nice restaurant, you owed him sex. I am so glad I have learned this here. Because it does so make much more sense now why guys try to get you to go with them to nice restaurants when you protest and say please, something casual. If it was a casual inexpensive thing, then they couldn`t attempt to sexually assault you later without guilt. Apparently it has to be of a certain dollar amount figure or he would feel like a skank for assaulting you. This way he feels justified in the attack because sex was owed him. I am so glad I learned this on POF, and you know, most of the time, it has proved correct.
Now if a guy wants to take me to a nice place for a romantic dinner, I know its code for "I want to f*** you."
I think I`ll dine in-alone please. I don`t like being sexually assaulted. | |
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| Dinner then a HOTEL? Does this happen a lot?
Posted: 4/29/2008 4:58:33 PM | Well I don't know if the car thing is accurate. Being that at least one of these guys you said had booked the hotel in advance. Just perverts I guess. I can see if it was like a mutual agreement or something, but to just expect it is rather disturbing. I wouldn't mind if she drove the way gas prices are these days  | |
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| Dinner then a HOTEL? Does this happen a lot?
Posted: 4/29/2008 5:06:21 PM | run while you can. Any time a guy offers a hotel he is either married or just a jerk. Those guys make us look bad.
Please dont judge all men like this. some of us are good. | |
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| Dinner then a HOTEL? Does this happen a lot?
Posted: 4/29/2008 6:05:25 PM | | Merry, I've mentioned this before. Stay away from the Bently-driving cigar-chomping country club losers. They have a one-track mind and are used to getting what they want without any regard for anyone's feelings. Start seeing a few working class guys, they appreciate women and have an entirely different view of life. You get what you deserve if its Wally's, Ceder Creek Inn, or Ruth's Chris for a date! | |
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| Dinner then a HOTEL? Does this happen a lot?
Posted: 4/29/2008 6:25:31 PM | ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
It doesn`t happen to me at all because I quit dating totally. If I go out it is on my own on my own dime. Works out quite well. | |
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