| Dinner then a HOTEL? Does this happen a lot?
Posted: 4/29/2008 6:38:01 PM | I guess this is why I always pay for my own coffee, dinner, drinks, whatever when I'm first dating a guy. Usually they don't insist on paying if you say let's go dutch. I think the decent guys don't really know what they are supposed to do anymore anyway.
This way the whole 'dinner=sex' thing is mute. It's sad that some grown men are still so obsessed with money. Good God. Keep clutching your $35 boys- it's ok, I make my own! What a childish thing to waste that much thought energy on. | |
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| Dinner then a HOTEL? Does this happen a lot?
Posted: 4/30/2008 7:22:51 AM |
I think the decent guys don't really know what they are supposed to do anymore anyway.
It's difficult for the "decent guys" because so many women have encountered creepy behavior from men. I think that many women in the 45+ age group find it's easier not to date than to have to deal with an occasional creep.
There are some good men out there. If you would give them a chance, you might be pleasantly surprised. | |
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| Dinner then a HOTEL? Does this happen a lot?
Posted: 4/30/2008 7:37:40 AM | Golconda,
I too know that there are some descent guys. But I guess they are all at home. The aggressive creeps are the ones asking out the women. And I do have to say , that I do believe that when it comes to over 45 dating, the majority of men available are not good guys. That is why they are available. It`s getting too annoying and dangerous to
date any more. | |
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| Dinner then a HOTEL? Does this happen a lot?
Posted: 4/30/2008 11:48:58 AM |
It`s getting too annoying and dangerous to date any more.
Aww....I am sorry to hear that. You deserve better.
I can't believe the majority of men available are not good guys, I think the aggressive creeps are just in overdrive ruining it for everybody.
I think the good people in both genders feel battered by the dating game.
You may do so already, but how about trying a more pro-active approach? | |
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| Dinner then a HOTEL? Does this happen a lot?
Posted: 4/30/2008 12:17:03 PM | | First - never get into a guy's car on a first date, unless you think you can win a wrestling match:) Just kidding - I don't see anything in your profile that indicates you want this. Maybe you just have a disproportionate number of creeps in your area? The only thing I might change is the photos seem a little "come hither" in tone, but nothing that would indicate a trip to a hotel. | |
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| Dinner then a HOTEL? Does this happen a lot?
Posted: 4/30/2008 1:57:40 PM | What shoes were you wearing that day, were they the blue ones? If so that might have been it....
Actually I have no flocking clue, just a couple of morons and freak coincidence that they both found you somehow. Like everyone else has said, take your own car from here on out. | |
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| Dinner then a HOTEL? Does this happen a lot?
Posted: 4/30/2008 2:11:47 PM | Lol this is very presumptuous on their part. Now the second date would be different or if you said to them you wanted a room then it would be different.
I have never had it happened to me on a first date but then i don't do dinner for a first date. Just too funny. | |
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| Dinner then a HOTEL? Does this happen a lot?
Posted: 4/30/2008 3:56:03 PM | Yeah--- I think some of these posts are right-- ALWAYS bring your own car on the first or even second date... that way you control whats going on.
Men who ASSUME too much are control freaks... get rid of them... regain your own control and dump these jerks ASAP.
Good luck! | |
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| Dinner then a HOTEL? Does this happen a lot?
Posted: 4/30/2008 4:06:04 PM |
I have never had it happened to me on a first date but then i don't do dinner for a first date. Just too funny.
Not doing dinner on a first date is the way to go. Keep things casual until you get to know someone. I've found that the best first dates are getting coffee and chatting or a walk in the park. | |
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| Dinner then a HOTEL? Does this happen a lot?
Posted: 4/30/2008 9:21:41 PM | It happens a lot more than you might think, and a lot more frequently than some are wont to admit. Bottom line is, if it isn't "your thing" then you have no need to worry about it do you? If it is "your thing" then who the hell cares what anyone else thinks about it.
Next question?
Have fun ;)!
PS: Would a "Starbucks Coffee Thingie" followed by a hotel room count? My girlfriend is curious, and does it matter if she drove her own car there? | |
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| Dinner then a HOTEL? Does this happen a lot?
Posted: 5/1/2008 5:45:34 AM | Was his name Rick? Tall, nicely dressed, drinks quite a lot, drives red Lincoln Navigator? Yes I have had the same thing happen to me and I think these guys think because they have money they can get sex! | |
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| Dinner then a HOTEL? Does this happen a lot?
Posted: 5/1/2008 1:42:32 PM | | Who knows how some people think? Maybe some guys are dumb enough to figure that if you're letting them drive you in their car the first time you meet them, that you're up for anything? In the future, why don't you take your own car and not let him drive you anywhere? That would be much smarter, and safer, IMO. | |
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| Dinner then a HOTEL? Does this happen a lot?
Posted: 5/1/2008 1:54:47 PM | Never get into a car with someone you are meeting for the first time. That's asking for trouble. Sure in all likelihood nothing bad will happen, but do you really want to take that chance no matter how slim?
Anyway these are just creepy guys who think that because they bought you dinner it means you should have sex with them. Do yourself a favor and pay your own way from now on. It solves many issues up front. There are plenty of good and decent men out there so don't give up on them. | |
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| Dinner then a HOTEL? Does this happen a lot?
Posted: 5/1/2008 5:56:08 PM |
Then afterwards when he is suppose to be taking me to the next place that was agreed upon between us, he drive into a hotel/motel parking lot, and informs me, HE HAS A ROOM!Wants us to have passionate Sex!
Then you look at him and tell him plainly something like. "Oh thats nice so I guess you plan on meeting some hooker there is that it?!!!!??? Because guess what I'm NOT that kind of woman. If he pushes you at all any more then you get out of the car and make a giant, yes I said giant/loud scene to make him feel like a total moron and then you call a friend to come pick you up and drive you home.
Ladies, sex will happen only if you give into guys that think they somehow deserve to sleep with you because you go on a date together. Say no to sex and make it clear right from the start the type of woman you are and that you have moral values and self respect for yourself then to let some slimeball expect a cheap thrill with you. Guys get away with that sort of expectation if you don't make yourself clear from the beginning the type of person you are. | |
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| Dinner then a HOTEL? Does this happen a lot?
Posted: 5/1/2008 6:17:23 PM | | Well you know thank God this never happened to me, where do these men get off presuming and assuming, they think they know what you want from the date and the expensive wining and dining....communication is not there I guess, or you must be so hot! | |
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| Dinner then a HOTEL? Does this happen a lot?
Posted: 5/1/2008 6:21:39 PM | | Never had this happen to me but I would FLIP OUT. I don't even like to be kissed on a first date. I tell guys this before I even GO OUT with them I say "KEEP HANDS OFF" and so far, they get the message! | |
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| Dinner then a HOTEL? Does this happen a lot?
Posted: 5/1/2008 6:23:01 PM | | Oh and this is probably why I have a don't get into a man's car rule, we meet at a place, and we have our "date" then part SEPERATELY. I wouldn't let a man drive me to or from a place. AT least until we been out a few times and I have built some trust for the guy! | |
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| Dinner then a HOTEL? Does this happen a lot?
Posted: 5/1/2008 9:18:01 PM |
These two men
...sound like they talk amongst themselves.
and yes, it happened to me here in my town. i was flattered. made the guy go through 2 more dates cuz i liked him & we ended up making out (badly) in his truck.
eh, work it. but still do what you want. don't be insulted...it's not about you. it's about them. | |
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| Dinner then a HOTEL? Does this happen a lot?
Posted: 5/2/2008 7:01:45 AM |
Say no to sex and make it clear right from the start the type of woman you are and that you have moral values and self respect for yourself then to let some slimeball expect a cheap thrill with you.
Women can avoid these types of problems by communicating their expectations clearly and directly at the beginning of the date. If the woman is not sure of the man's expectations then ASK. If the guy wants sex and you don't, it's time to end the date. Don't be afraid of getting up and walking out on a guy if you have to. | |
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| Dinner then a HOTEL? Does this happen a lot?
Posted: 5/2/2008 10:05:47 AM | merry0709,
It is not like if a man take you to an expensive restaurant in the first date he expecting sex from you. That is just a game they play and if you follow that game it is all on you. About being "sexually assaulted", that my friend, is another different thing! The man who books a nice hotel room is not going to sexually assault you! He is going to seduce you into finishing the expensive date with sex. "Date seduction" is not RAPE!!! Date seduction parts from the premise that the man uses good seduction techniques to talk you into having sex after an expensive and nice dinner! In other words, date seduction is intended to end as a "mutual consent" thing!!! Please have all these terms clear before you go on dates or you are going to become a victim of these professional players or playboys. If you finish in bed with your first time date should be because you wanted to, not because you was played into it!!!! | |
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| Dinner then a HOTEL? Does this happen a lot?
Posted: 5/2/2008 11:24:02 AM | | I think the two men were trying to seduce you and have a good time. A simple no and take me back is all that is needed. If they do what you say whats the harm in trying. Now they know what you don't want and you know what they do want. Most of my dates end up with sex but I get a feeling it will during the date. If you get a feeling , it's probably correct. I can't remember the last date that was'nt sexual. A lot of women are the same way for different reasons and men get tired of it also. I hav'nt gone on a date in a while because of this. A good woman is very, very hard to find. | |
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| Dinner then a HOTEL? Does this happen a lot?
Posted: 6/8/2008 9:13:37 PM | I've had this happen to me several times except I always bring my own car. We never went to a motel/ hotel but toward the very end in the last I'd said 4 or 5 dates on my first date w/ a guy, they always try to score past 1st base all the way to 3rd. As a matter of act the guy i met on here a couple of weeks ago wants to meet me for the first time and when we messaged each other today he told me he wants to have sex w/ me after we meet for dinner. He even asked me what are good hotels and where are they out close to where our date is suppose to be at. He even told me that he wants me to wear black panties cuz it turns him on. Im not going out on a date w/ this guy after he told me all that today; but I can tell you yes it can and does happen when a man propositions a woman like that.
My solution to the problem stay away from them at least those in particular as best as possible! | |
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| Dinner then a HOTEL? Does this happen a lot?
Posted: 6/8/2008 9:21:56 PM | | Oh yes it is considered "Date Rape!" If a man seduces you in his room it's not consenual. If he forces himself on you or better yet drugs you while drinking or even intoxicates you he's raping you after you've said no. A woman will say no but if she's influenced in anyway a guy is gonna know that she's an easy target and will try whatever it takes to get her in bed w/ him. So I firmly believe you need to get your "terms and word knowledge" correctly identified better! | |
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