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| Poll: How do you want your rejection guys? A.Just delete me B.Lie to me C.Be blunt D.Kill me softly?
Posted: 10/8/2006 7:35:43 PM | | I have always recieved A, just deleate me, so thats what I am used to. So thats what I do to others since it seems to be the way of things. I have been blocked before for what seems to be no apparent reason, so I started doing that too. BUt I think it would be cool to have sound effects, like crash and burn, blow you a kiss, thumping your fingers like your bored and stuff like that. | |
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akula
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Joined: 9/27/2006
Msg: 78 | |
| Poll: How do you want your rejection guys? A.Just delete me B.Lie to me C.Be blunt D.Kill me softly?
Posted: 10/8/2006 7:54:38 PM | Ive got thick skin.Ive been rejected all my life by women.That Unead deleted tells me a lot about a girl shes picky and cold.Read deleted tells me shes looking for something spicific.And good for her.I dont take it to bad if a girl dosent get back to me.but know one likes rejection.that said I tryed to IM a lady a few nights ago rather that her just blocking me she reaplyed."you live to far for me sorry"I was blown away.The fact that she took the time to reject me personaly was big on her part.Why because I know she run the risk of me being one of those guy who cant take no for an answere.so I wished her luck and said good night.The thing is ladys like I said no one like to be rejected .but no one likes to not know why there being rejected.guys and girls alike.And if a guys a jerk about it its not your fault.But dont give up on the rest of use guys. | |
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| Poll: How do you want your rejection guys? A.Just delete me B.Lie to me C.Be blunt D.Kill me softly?
Posted: 10/8/2006 8:22:07 PM | C or E, I'd say.
Well, I have no need to be coddled. I don't know about other guys, but I'd find option D especially offensive and irritating. Irritating because, in a way, it's like saying to me that I can't handle rejection, which I can deal with very well (OK, so there are men that can't deal with it...this may work for them, I guess?), hence preferring a "No, sorry...you're not my type." Offensive because I hate hearing "Well, you're awesome, but I don't like you." To me, it sounds like you're saying you're too good for me. I know you probably won't mean that but that's what I hear.
Anyway...a "Sorry, you're just not my type" is just fine in my book. I'll just shrug and move on. No harm done. You were honest about being not interested and honest is, after all, the best policy. Please don't lie or string me along by avoiding me or hinting at being not interested. Just say "Sorry man, no thanks" and leave it at that. I am not right for everybody and, if you say you're not interested, you're telling me I'm not right for you. I can accept that.
Option A is also acceptable. If I messaged you twice and you never responded but rather just blocked me, I won't even remember you. | |
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| Poll: How do you want your rejection guys? A.Just delete me B.Lie to me C.Be blunt D.Kill me softly?
Posted: 10/8/2006 9:31:11 PM | Funny story involving myself and rejection... I'd pined over someone for months, seeing her regularly, going out with her every weekend for months on end, but every time I suggested that we just start officially dating, she'd say "no way." I kept asking her why not, because I wanted to know if it was something I could change (because I thought she was worth changing for, at the time), if it was something I couldn't change (like if she had a trauma caused by a man with blue eyes), or if it was something with her (which it was, she's a raving psycho). Anyway, she did finally give me an answer, which is a waste of time to post, as she'd previously stated the qualities which made her not like me as the ones that had attracted her to me in the first place... she changed her mind, and didn't want to look at empathetically.
For myself, if the rejection is in person, just say "No thanks, I'm interested in someone else." It doesn't have to be a lie, because you might just be interested in someone you haven't met yet! Online, just delete it and move onward. Of course, if you've just got strict standards about who you'll date, and a guy doesn't fit one of them, just say it. I was shot down by someone this weekend because she can't stand professional sports, and I'm a pretty energetic NFL fan. It was disappointing, but not the end of the world. At least I knew why, and that her reason wasn't something that I'm willing to change.
One last note on rejection. I've noticed a few people who want to know why they're being rejected, so they can change themselves to keep it from happening again. The biggest thing we're doing wrong is going for the wrong woman! The one I was seeing for months was used to abusive type relationships, and was used to associating emotional intimacy with chemical dependence. In short, though she'd never say it, she rejected me because I wasn't an a**hole toward her, and I wasn't willing to keep picking up her messes after she got drunk or high. I got rejected because I wasn't willing to sacrifice the important parts of myself in order to make her temporarily happy... and if I were given a second chance with her, I'd just run the other way. Sometimes rejection can just be chalked up to not being what the other person wants/needs at this point in time. But if I don't need a puppy today, I probably won't need one tomorrow... and nothing anyone says would change my mind. Once I start looking for a puppy, then I'd probably remember the person who had one to give...
Hope that analogy makes at least a little bit of sense!
-B. | |
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Zain.
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Joined: 9/20/2005
Msg: 89 | |
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| Poll: How do you want your rejection guys? A.Just delete me B.Lie to me C.Be blunt D.Kill me softly?
Posted: 10/9/2006 11:15:03 PM | C. EASILY C
Any of the other options just piss me off. Sure it may be mean, but its the TRUTH. If you told me, for example, that my haircut was too ugly.. I would ask if others agree, if they did, I would change my hair style (assuming im oblivious to how ugly it is).
This benefits me, since your blunt honesty has made me into a more physically attractive person.
ALWAYS C | |
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| Poll: How do you want your rejection guys? A.Just delete me B.Lie to me C.Be blunt D.Kill me softly?
Posted: 10/9/2006 11:28:37 PM | C, absolutely, no contest, not even close.
If there is a problem, let us know.
I can understand E and consider it an honourable way out.
D? Well, OK, if I look like your dad and that's the full and complete truth, I suppose it's a special case of C, but it's a lot more likely to be a special case of B.
Use A or B on me and you have made an enemy for life. B is *completely* inexcusable, little white lie, letting down gently, or whatever else you want to call it. If you'll lie about one thing you'll lie about something else and probably already have to me or about me. | |
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| Poll: How do you want your rejection guys? A.Just delete me B.Lie to me C.Be blunt D.Kill me softly?
Posted: 10/10/2006 8:27:38 AM | OP if given my druthers I would be inclined to select one of two options:
F: Truth, but After incredible breath taking sympathy sex, Nothing wrong with going out with a bang, and if you feel guilty about it, by all means indulge 
or
G: A clever, hilariously funny, ingenious manner that while containing the truth, I have honestly never heard before and has me laughing so hard that I don't care about the bad news anymore.
The cold hard truth may always be preferable, but there certainly can be ways to make it easier to swallow without the need to sugarcoat it. And before you knock my two ideas, why not try them first 
Have fun ;)! | |
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| Poll: How do you want your rejection guys? A.Just delete me B.Lie to me C.Be blunt D.Kill me softly?
Posted: 10/10/2006 12:42:01 PM | | The last response ("E") is the best, which I agree that you acknowledge that you have received my e-mail, read it, thought it over a bit, but decided that it was not a match. You don't have to go into a long list of reasons. Also, if the person you declined writes you back, it is strongly suggested that you delete his message and do not respond. It will be leading him on and it will show that you are not a person of your word and are playing some sort of game. | |
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~Bob~
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Joined: 9/4/2006
Msg: 100 | |
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