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| Marriage, men are stupid for entering into this(proof)
Posted: 4/23/2008 6:24:27 PM | You men do not have the exclusivity on being taken to the cleaners.
Women deal with the same things, they get shafted financially too.
I second that, and speak from first hand experience on that, and also know more than a few women in the same situation.
Whether or not you let it dictate the rest of your outlook on life and relationships in general, is an entirely individual choice.
I choose to not let it embitter me, or to project past transgressions onto the next relationship. I think it would be entirely unfair of me to pre-judge the next person, based on a what a partner from a prior failed marriage did, or didn't do.
But hey, we're all different.
hnh
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| Marriage, men are stupid for entering into this(proof)
Posted: 4/23/2008 6:26:04 PM | A quick rundown of my situation. I was with my ex for 10 years. We were and to this day are best freinds. We just lost that spark. We have 2 boys, age 4/6. Now to the bullshit. I have to cut her a check for around $250,000. I bought her a house(paid for in full) a mercedes and gave her all the furniture that was in our house. I keep the house. i pay no child support/alimony. i do however pay all my kids expenses. I would have anyway regardless of how this turned out.
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hmmm wow u are so hard done by
i feel bad for you
notice the sarcasm
u lost nothing you would have needed
u gained 2 children , who, without your ex wife would never have existed
you supplied your offspring with a roof over their heads and a vahicle for them to run around in
what exactly do you think you owe them?
get off your high horse, grab a brain and a calculator and go over how much it will cost you to raise them children by yourself , paying a nanny and a housekeeper for the next 18 yrs.
youll see you got yourself a better deal with an ex and a good mother to your children
what is with twisted men and these sob stories
the flame died out on your relationship, dont let it go out in your head
for further help call. 1 900 wahhhmbulance
next time wear a rubber or get a vasectomy, then you wont have to pay for your willys wonkas
btw since when is a quarter million dollar house a great big deal? you cant even buy a mobile home in fort macmurray for under 400k
and mercedes arent anything to act all snotty about,
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| Marriage, men are stupid for entering into this(proof)
Posted: 4/23/2008 6:26:42 PM | Funny. The post with ALL the facts figures said nothing of
housing, food, heat, light, cable, telephone, transportation,
clothing, SHOES! I'm sure there's lot's more!
ADD all that up, PLEASE! | |
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| Marriage, men are stupid for entering into this(proof)
Posted: 4/23/2008 6:32:50 PM |
oh for pits sake....she gave birth to your children. Is that nothing?
Don't make children and be happy with a lover then. Then for sure you don't need to marry anybody.
This sickens me to death. Nobody forces men to get married and make children: they just do it....think of the consequences before taking a woman to the altar: it is that simple.
What you call privilegies, the law calls 'right' in defence of motherhood mainly
True. There is no requirement that one must have a state recognized contractual agreement to produce children. If you want children, simply provide for their needs and skip having to risk losing your assets to a spouse. Then only your heirs have rights to your assets and only if you provide for them in a will.
This woman has a good point. If you want a some kind of legal status, perhaps a limited liability company is a better choice. Then you only place at risk what you have invested and should the partnership be dissolved, each partner's share is commensurate with their investment.
No one needs to "marry anyone". It is neither required or necessary.
Best.
ACP | |
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| Marriage, men are stupid for entering into this(proof)
Posted: 4/23/2008 6:33:15 PM | I agree with the above two posters (msgs #28 & 29). Some people seem to forget that without children, a person could live in a one bedroom place, with considerably lower expenses all the way around...
hnh
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| Marriage, men are stupid for entering into this(proof)
Posted: 4/23/2008 6:34:14 PM | edit:...." yup, every woman I've known has cooked 3 hours per day...every day......." Ok, so take off $30,ooo of that - don't forget time shopping for grub gets counted in with the cooking. Feel better now?
......"A friend of mine has a nanny that looks after cooking, cleaning, etc, and has everything done in under 4 hours per day and for a flat rate of $11/hour. And this is for a family of four."(tick tock) If the 2 children in this story are ages newborn to Jr. High, then they need (generally) someone to spend time with them for educational purposes - especially the younger the child. Or do the children get plonked down in front of the telly to watch the 'day time dramas' in their rocky swings, while nanny does the house work and ignores the babies? Because - it takes longer than that to do all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc... and watch two children/babies than a measly 4 hours. And at $11 an hour? I had a friend that was a nanny in Dallas for a while - she got just a tad more - and free lodging plus a car. She couldn't pay her bills and her food budget (going to school during the day while kids were at grade school). Plus no time for herself. It took a heck of a lot more than 4 hours a day.
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| Marriage, men are stupid for entering into this(proof)
Posted: 4/23/2008 6:38:29 PM | All this post "proves" is someone who hasn't taken any responsibility or accountability for the fact that the marriage ended. It's not his fault, according to his OP.
Spark...chemistry...in a long term relationship/marriage, it only "lasts" if both partners expend effort to keep it. If it's not something important or they both value, then yeah...indifference can set it and lead to apathy.
She's not the woman that he met, years ago and married, he's not that man either. Not a brilliant observation or deduction.
Long term relationships tend to settle into a "comfort zone", and unless keeping the passion alive is important, then it settles into something other than what it "used to be".
Relationship, marriage or not, we're not the people we were in high school.
The people (single or otherwise) that learn to move happily through the stages and phases of life don't fight it. They accept it...heck welcome it, embrace it and enjoy and enjoy it.
Now, after X number of years, the OP is embittered to women in general.
Wowsers, sure his inbox will be full and he'll be beating off the women with a stick.  | |
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| Marriage, women are stupid for entering into this(proof)
Posted: 4/23/2008 6:41:59 PM | OP wrote:
Ok, men make a mistake picking a person to marry, we have to cut a check for a portion of what we are worth, a women makes a bad choice, she gets a check and a portion of YOUR worth. a marriage just ****s up a great relationship
Newsflash for you pal, it goes both ways.... so I could rant the same way you did:
Ok, women make a mistake picking a person to marry, we have to cut a check for a portion of what we are worth, a MAN makes a bad choice, HE gets a check and a portion of your worth....
Why do MOST men think they are the only ones that loose up to half or more of what they have worked for??? Truth is both parties loose financially whenever a divorce occurs because both parties have to make adjustments and both parties standards of living are affected....  | |
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| Marriage, women are stupid for entering into this(proof)
Posted: 4/23/2008 6:49:55 PM | Yeah, I'm sure his ex doesn't feel like she made a mistake in choosing him either.
Hopefully if you are "friends" (if she read what was posted here, doubt that'd ever be possible) keep the children out of it. They're not responsible for either of yours choices. Keep all that "stuff" away from them, they don't deserve it. | |
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| Marriage, men are stupid for entering into this(proof)
Posted: 4/23/2008 6:51:52 PM | i have no children, i spent 5 yrs in a relationship and well i didnt marry her because she was a drunk, she didnt work and routinely took my money to go drinking with and bought her drugs with.
you dont need to get married to anyone in order to get screwed, it isnt marriage that is the problem its the people who cant accept any responsibility for what occured
however, even up till the last time we were together , we had great sex and bjs etc etc
sex wouldnt have kept me in a relationship, good or bad sex
sex is great but if you attribute your happiness based upon sexual performance then my friend you just screwed yourself, so why do u require her?
when communication and the original friendships start to fall apart and you sit there idly and allow that to happen then you only have yourself to blame
personally id gladly have paid the 250 k to watch my babies be born, to be there when they first open their eyes and to be the person they originally bond with. you cant put a monetary value on your offspring, i know they are without a price tag because they arent replacable for any amount of money
you as a man should seriously get some perspective and thank god above for allowing you to meet a woman who would carry your babies for those 9 months and to put up with your lack of having any concept of what is truly valuable in this life
i had to reread your original post a few times to be sure you really said what i thought u said.
unbelievable......... if i was you id shake my head and get some perspective
then id go kiss her ass and thank her for giving you the gift she has given you
as far as that other guy that yacked about single mothers mishandling alimony or child support payments.... noone is infallable, you try staying home with kids 24 / 7 for a few months and tell me you wont be begging for a night out or a few days off.
overall i think single mothers have the hardest jobs of us all , and to them rest the continuance of our society, in , that they care for the babies that deadbeats have abandoned after having their " fun for the night"
they get no thanks, they get routinely looked down upon by society as sluts, tramps, easy,stupid............. the list goes on.
noone sits back and sees it for the truth
it takes 2 to make the kids, but usually the care is left to the "mom"
thats why she deserves everything you make and all your attention.
so u didnt get a blow job omg you poor guy
maybe after a full day of dirty diapers and housecleaning, cooking, laundry, babysitting and feeding your children, she just didnt think or feel up to sucking your dirty willy
grab a life dude... you sound pathetic | |
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| Marriage, women are stupid for entering into this(proof)
Posted: 4/23/2008 6:54:08 PM | Dear god. Another reason why I haven't married. And this thread makes me re-think actually being part of the human race. Damned scary.
And wow, really depressing for a lot of people. Imaging marrying after having to think: What about my finances when we divorce? How uplifting.
And no, I am not naive, I just have more faith in myself and the one that I'll eventually choose to spend the rest of my life with. | |
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| Marriage, men are stupid for entering into this(proof)
Posted: 4/23/2008 7:01:17 PM | You really want my thoughts?
1) You made a choice to get married, no one forced you into it. What's your opinion on people who complain about a choice freely made?
2) plenty of people were married when you made this decision, so you had plenty of examples to investigate. If you can afford a Mercedes et al, then you know what a person who invests without investigating is. A gambler. how have you felt about gamblers? You gambled without investigating, you lost. Now you get an expensive lesson to learn--do not do this again. I'm not sure why that's a reason to blast marriage in general. | |
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| Marriage, men are stupid for entering into this(proof)
Posted: 4/23/2008 7:08:18 PM | One of my brothers has been married for 30 years and he has said out loud in front of his wife he'd get a divorce if it wouldn't cost him everything. I feel for him but he was always the kind of person who did everything by the book, including marriage. I've always wanted to be married but it's usually clear to me when a relationship has legs and when it doesn't and besides, it's something I'd only like to do once.
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| Marriage, men are stupid for entering into this(proof)
Posted: 4/23/2008 7:08:30 PM | Ok, so take off $30,ooo of that - don't forget time shopping for grub gets counted in with the cooking. Feel better now?
Nope. You're double-billing your client (woman-speak for husband). A daycare (which you've also itemized) includes some of the other labour. And, how many woman do you know that really work 7 hours a day doing housework and cooking? Don't know how they'd squeeze all that in between episodes of Jerry, Dr. Phil, soap operas and Oprah. | |
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| Marriage, men are stupid for entering into this(proof)
Posted: 4/23/2008 7:16:04 PM | THIS POST IN UNFAIR TO WOMEN!
I work about 15-20 hours per week (with very a flexible schedule) and with almost every ex BF I made more that they made (30-40K gap). Yes, I have time for cooking, cleaning and etc. I do it on a regular basis.
If I were divorced I wonder who would be paying whom and for what? I even do not think about any marrige in terms of money and that I would ask for some support upon divorce. I do not think I would get it anyway. I mean marrige is marrige. Money is money. You never know where you can loose. I do not have a fear of divorce, especially when it comes to money. And especially, when kids are involved. | |
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| Marriage, men are stupid for entering into this(proof)
Posted: 4/23/2008 7:27:03 PM | What a typical women bashing thread....
To me, the funny thing is that women are expected to be the ones to forfeit everything in their own lives to stay at home and raise the children. By standards, men get paid more then women, even in identical jobs, so it only makes sense that they be the breadwinner of the family.
While the woman takes a backseat in her own life and ambitions, the male continues working, perhaps climbing the ladder in his future, and provides well for his family. How many family lives have been interrupted because the male had job priorities? Quite a few, I'm willing to guess. So, while the male goes out, and establishes himself in his job, the female stays at home, and raises the children with the intent of staying a family for life. Do you honestly think, for even a minute, if both partners knew the relationship was doomed to fail, the woman would sit back and let the man pave his own little yellow brick road while she stays home to look after the children? Not too bloody likely.
Any one income marriage really has two people working for that income, whether it's the male who leaves the home everyday to work, or the female who stays at home to work.
What your post tells me is that you consider everything your ex did in the past 10 years useless, from bearing your children, to raising them to be fine young men. You should really think about the sacrifices she made over the past 10 years that allowed you the opportunity to have the job you do today.
AND what good would a pre-nup have been if you earned all your money during your marriage? If all these possessions were yours before the marriage, yes, a pre-nup should have been in place, but if you acquired these possessions during your marriage, damn right she's entitled to half.
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| Marriage, men are stupid for entering into this(proof)
Posted: 4/23/2008 7:33:52 PM | | Sounds to me if marriage to a woman is getting a piece of ass your a pretty shallow person and no wonder your marriage didn't worked. Marriage is a lot more than that and obviously you don't sound like a good friend never mind supportive. You seem like the type of person that would use the fact that she went through post partum depression against her in court for your own selfish gain. | |
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| Marriage, men are stupid for entering into this(proof)
Posted: 4/23/2008 7:35:54 PM | This is by far the most ridiculous thread I've had the misfortune to read in some time.
No dear one, I am far from naive. I meant every word I said in my previous post, and I stand by it. There is NO way I'm going to bash every man simply because there are several on this thread who are screaming "look at me, I'm an idiot" You are, thankfully, a minor few. And you've lost the tiny shred of entertainment value you had earlier in the evening.  | |
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| Marriage, men are stupid for entering into this(proof)
Posted: 4/23/2008 7:36:35 PM | Not all women are like this. I am one of those "odd ducks"....I walked away with nothing but some furniture. He has the house.
Why did I do it? Because my self esteem and self worth are more important than a house. | |
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| Marriage, men are stupid for entering into this(proof)
Posted: 4/23/2008 7:43:07 PM | I know a gal that walked away with nothing - not the kids, not the house, not the furniture. She only took her clothes and her old beater car. He got everything else - which he then promptly sold - and he earned almost $30.oo an hr to her $10.00 - AND she has to pay child support. No, she didn't cheat. Nice, eh?
Just a few whiners carrying on about how they got screwed. | |
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| Marriage, men are stupid for entering into this(proof)
Posted: 4/23/2008 7:46:16 PM |
No dear one, I am far from naive. I meant every word I said in my previous post, and I stand by it. There is NO way I'm going to bash every man simply because there are several on this thread who are screaming "look at me, I'm an idiot" You are, thankfully, a minor few. And you've lost the tiny shred of entertainment value you had earlier in the evening
Well, if you wish to stand by those statements, then welcome to the club! | |
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