| Are US women being taken for granted?
Posted: 4/29/2008 1:48:56 PM | I can honestly say I was not taken for granted in any of my previous relationships. They ended for well-deserved reasons from both sides. But being "taken for granted" by either of us was not one of them.
We split domestic chores from the point of view of "four hands and this much work... how do you want to split it?" The approach we took on work was love/hate. What do you hate doing and would love to give up? What do you love/enjoy doing and want to keep?
My current b/f has never given me a moment of feeling like I am not an important part of his "consideration set"... the people and things he considers as he juggles priorities and responsibilities in life. We're not able to see each other as much as we'd like right now, but this too shall work out in the fullness of time.
If I had to put my finger on why there hasn't been a moment of feeling taken for granted, I'd say it is because we have such low expectations. LOL, that's a joke, people. I think it is because we place a high priority on finding and fulfilling each others' needs and where one isn't in the position of being able to do/be for the other it is with a spirit of understanding that they would very much like to fulfill it except for all this other life stuff that we agree must temporarily take priority. | |
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| Are US women being taken for granted?
Posted: 5/2/2008 1:44:37 PM | Good on you for starting this thread. I can't believe the US males thread.
First, i cant believe that they are just focusing on 'US' women. As if any other nation is any better or worse! Believe me US women have the most equality and thats where ALL women (except maybe the 1% that love subordination) want their country to be headed. Think of women in saudi arabia who can't even DRIVE or check into a hotel without a male guardian to accompany them. They are treated like children all their lives. Truthfully men, ask yourself if you would want this for US women? You most certainly wouldn't be able to get a one-night stand anymore and you'd have to marry the girl to get laid!!
Second, the mens weird fixation with women being blood sucking leeches. Im so sorry you have to buy a woman a MEAL once in a while. Maybe you should make clear from the first few words to a potential f*k that you do not plan on paying for food or potential children born from the union. But you know she'd be put off by your stingy nitpicking calculation, so just keep it quiet and get your f*k and then come on POF complaining. The time that wives spend cleaning and cooking and looking after children and having sex with you is a FREE service for you men. Unless you get divorced. but what do you expect. how about working on your marriage and not getting divorced? | |
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| Are US women being taken for granted?
Posted: 5/2/2008 3:25:11 PM | Lol.
Sex is a service so all women are prostitutes?
Women clean and cook, while men do yard work, garbage, shovel, bring in more money and listen to her nagging about how we don't do anything.
Divorce another place where women expect to get a free ride off men.
Statistically more women hit their partner than man, are twice as likely to hide money, have an affair and initiate divorce. | |
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| Are US women being taken for granted?
Posted: 5/4/2008 7:00:12 AM | I still don't understand how women can say they are taken for granted?
It is men who are not appreciated.
Example 1: Valentine's Day
All ABOUT HER
Example 2: Anneversires
the guy plans everything and gives all the gifts
Example 3: Mother's Day and father's day
Mothers are spoiled on mother's day but on father's day men are not. In fact I have heard women complain about how father's day shouldn't even exist as men don't deserve it. Men wear breast cancer ribbons on mother's day but I have never seen a woman wear prostate cancer ribbons on father's day.
Example 4: Dates and GIfts
All planned, paid for and given by men
Example 5: Sex
When she wants it and it is all about her pleasure.
Example 6: Housework
Men are expected to do their traditonal housework and help women with their housework. Women don't do the same. When was the last time a woman ever helped a man shovel?
Example 6: Emotional support
Men give it but never recieve it when they need it just as much.
Example 7: Domestic violence, sexual manipulation, divorce, hiding money, having affairs, false accusations of rape and abuse
all carried out by women in greater numbers | |
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| Are US women being taken for granted?
Posted: 5/4/2008 10:32:17 AM |
Mothers are spoiled on mother's day but on father's day men are not. In fact I have heard women complain about how father's day shouldn't even exist as men don't deserve it. Men wear breast cancer ribbons on mother's day but I have never seen a woman wear prostate cancer ribbons on father's day. Can't think of a better comparison, bravo.  | |
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| Are US women being taken for granted?
Posted: 5/4/2008 10:38:04 AM |
Can't think of a better comparison, bravo.
I agree since the numbers for prostate and breast cancer are pretty much the same with a bit higher number for prostate cancer. | |
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| Are US women being taken for granted?
Posted: 5/4/2008 1:31:11 PM | ^^^ Isn't that funny ... different strokes for different folks I guess. My family and myself have always had big B.B.Q. with family for Father's Day. Making it special and eventful.
And all this time I though that the men actually appreciated it ... But then of course if there is comparison, I am sure an expensive piece of jewelry would be considered so much more special and important that some old crappy B.B.Q. I guess its all in the cost, planning, cooking, inviting and such don't mean much anymore.
Hurray for the bling !!! Oh well. | |
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| Are US women being taken for granted?
Posted: 5/4/2008 1:44:53 PM | Any relationship is about a partnership to cope with whatever life throws at you.
Sadly some people are just lazy and wont pull their weight, be they male or female.
This is where the problems start. | |
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| Are US women being taken for granted?
Posted: 5/17/2008 7:52:15 PM |
Msg: 145 -- men are not the enemy! women are not the enemy!
Sadly, most folk don't understand this. BITTERNESS is the ENEMY, and it is EMBRACED by men AND women alike who have had emotional trauma inflicted upon them in such a manner that renders them ill-equipped to deal with a potentially healthy relationship.
Many OTHERWISE good relationships have been RUINED for THIS reason ALONE. | |
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| Are US women being taken for granted?
Posted: 5/17/2008 8:06:41 PM |
and having sex with you is a FREE service for you men
So you are saying that men should owe women some thing for sex? What is the woman offering that is more than the man?
Talk about a superiority entitlement complex or shall I say what a raven chauvinist bigot. | |
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| Are US women being taken for granted?
Posted: 5/17/2008 8:57:20 PM | Everyone gets taken for granted... it's part of the cycle of life, only we don't get some guy that sounds like mufasa from the lion king to intro us...
the giggleparts - the spice must flow | |
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| Are US women being taken for granted?
Posted: 5/17/2008 9:18:04 PM | I would suppose it does depend on each individual's personal experience. As a working woman, I still would enjoy cooking and cleaning on my spare time. It goes with your heart, if your heart enjoys doing the right thing than you won't find a problem with it.
Does this mean that a man could take advantage me?
No, because I am NOT attracted to men who treat women as a maid.
I expect all that I do, will also be done by the person I am in the relationship with. If I worked a ten hour shift, he can cook me dinner and rub my back. That's very appealing to me :)
But I can only speak for myself. I do know that some women are taken advantage of, they work , cook, clean, and take care of all the needs of the house-hold. It's not fair. Why they stay? I haven't the slightest clue. | |
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| Are US women being taken for granted?
Posted: 5/18/2008 5:46:32 PM | Example 1: Valentine's Day
All ABOUT HER
Example 2: Anneversires
the guy plans everything and gives all the gifts
Example 3: Mother's Day and father's day
Mothers are spoiled on mother's day but on father's day men are not. In fact I have heard women complain about how father's day shouldn't even exist as men don't deserve it. Men wear breast cancer ribbons on mother's day but I have never seen a woman wear prostate cancer ribbons on father's day.
Example 4: Dates and GIfts
All planned, paid for and given by men
Example 5: Sex
When she wants it and it is all about her pleasure.
Example 6: Housework
Men are expected to do their traditonal housework and help women with their housework. Women don't do the same. When was the last time a woman ever helped a man shovel?
Example 6: Emotional support
Men give it but never recieve it when they need it just as much.
Example 7: Domestic violence, sexual manipulation, divorce, hiding money, having affairs, false accusations of rape and abuse
all carried out by women in greater numbers
Is that your opinion johnduke...or do you have statistics to back it up..especially some of that last bit...all most of us know is what we have personally experienced..and evidently you have experienced some really bad women and relationships...
Since I haven't experienced not one of those scenario's, can't really comment..I could do the same you know..based on my experiences, I could say the exact opposite of all that is true..but, I actually know that my experiences aren't the only valid ones in the world...
I also know that bad behavior (selfishness, deceit, etc.,) is not gender specific...and I know I was raised to do my best to not be any of those things...parental influence being the most important influence I had...not the media....actually, my parents censored what I read or saw when I was a kid...
It seems to me that you and some others are guilty of the same things you b!tched at some of the women for on the other thread..turning into your problem? The Op is about Us women being taken for granted..your concerns go on the other thread...it can not be ok for you if it wasn't ok for them? That makes if a double standard...exactly what you are complaining about?
OT: When I was married, and maybe even more so in my last LTR I felt taken for granted..or to be more specific..I felt UNLOVED and under appreciated..however, I blamed it on my choice in partners, not men in general...I can sympathize with any men who have felt the same...I think women just process and solve much different than men...
The last bit belongs in a thread entitled "No matter what, when a relationship breaks down, it's ALWAYS the man's fault."
Capitano: While I don't think it is always the man's fault by any means, and it takes two to make or break it...if one ( such as I) made every effort to fix it, and was met with resistance, so, being unhappy, I ended it..I would say that yes, in my case, I think it was his fault because I gave him every opportunity to work it out, and he wouldn't...and if the personal experiences of many women are the same..it is easy to assume that it is that way with all..maybe the problem is there just aren't as many "good" guys, as ones who do look at it as a true partnership..odds would seem to indicate that if there were more who were..so many women wouldn't be so disappointed? I have never said I didn't have some faults of my own that contributed to the break down itself..however, I would have to say that IME, the men were the ones who wouldn't admit to having any, or contributing to the problem..or who were willing to work on making it work....
Edit: So, I would say that the men I was with weren't the only ones responsible for the break down..but, they were always responsible for not wanting to fix it? | |
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| Are US women being taken for granted?
Posted: 5/22/2008 10:25:28 PM | | is that really it then, come on thats bs. Not all men are pigs, only most. I can't find a woman to date who doesn't think its ok we can start now and goes all the way by like the second time I ever see them. And guess what no rings on those fingers.. hmmm how come because they become contentuos, abusive and often the opposite of a what a man wants to commit to. Im considering going celebate for another 3 or 4 years just to save myself up for that someone special. I actually get attracted to profiles that say things like I don't kiss on the first date. Im sorry to say but if a woman cant tell the difference between her sexuality and her own personality then maybe she doesn't realize that she is only good for sex to a man. The longest relationships I ever had were with much larger women and involved way less sex. I think it is because when they weren't underneath me literally they were never underneath me figuritivly, actually real people who could be much stronger at times and pull me up, making it easier for me to do the same in return when ever they faulter, its human nature. And now I try my ass off doing everything I can to find the right verile young woman. Someone who will respect herself and I as much as I hold, to be right and I have no problem putting a ring on her finger and making her, us. And now I have to read crappy overpromoted absolutley ludacris statements like this. Come on. Thats bs, keep up the act and guess what it is a huge turn off to any good hearted guy who actually wants to get things out of her that even all the guys, toys, and sports in the world can't give a man. Unfortunately and I don't understand how they can do it, but Im guessing too many guys are snuffed into the category of dawgs. Wait, grade 11 health class "Kids remember you can't expect to keep a man with sex, relationships that stand the test of time are based on something even stronger, companionship" Thats why the term "**** buddy" is so funny, its true. As long as you're banging you are just buddies and trust me we can be down right mean to our buddies. Besides everything is perception. Thusly I reject your reality and substitue my own. In my world all guys are genuine charming reliable companions capable of making a woman feel appreciated by simply telling her the truth. Beside every great man is a loving woman. Underneath him is were bad women go when the good women take the man for granted forgetting he is suppossed to rationalize a womens complex emotions and know her feelings when often the case that can't happen because sex, fidelity, and jealousy get in the way of what should always be a constant reaffirmation of affection. | |
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| Are US women being taken for granted?
Posted: 6/3/2008 1:07:59 PM | | Yes in many ways women are taken for granted..in many ways some women take men for granted and still expect a man to support her and provide for her. | |
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| Are US women being taken for granted?
Posted: 6/3/2008 1:14:51 PM | Of course women are taken for granted. It's the #2 mistake made by men. If it wasn't for that, we'd have a divorce rate under 50% 
(Oh and the #1 mistake men make is, of course, rushing in too fast) | |
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| Are US women being taken for granted?
Posted: 6/3/2008 5:37:33 PM | ^^^^^ What a relief! And here I thought all along that it took two to fail, just as it takes two to succeed. Now all I have to do is think that it's all my fault, 24/7...so this furthers my resolve not to get involved.  | |
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| Are US women being taken for granted?
Posted: 6/22/2008 3:52:16 PM | You are a very brave man, Levi, to bring this thread up - if we are careful, perhaps this one might stick around - as long as it is not a flame war.......
and I agree that perhaps it is part of the history of humanity to feel both sides of being taken for granted.....
and yet, part of life seems to be the learning of this lesson so (every)one moves beyond this issue to truly appreciate and honor both sexes as the necessary balancers they are for each other....meaning male and female energy balances each other - compliments each other.
I know in my circles of friends and family - neither women (nor men) are taken for granted. All are valued and deeply respected and it would be completely dishonorable to consider treating each other any other way. | |
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| Are US women being taken for granted?
Posted: 6/22/2008 6:46:10 PM |
I think both men and women are taken for granted.
Oh Lord! Don't get me started! hehehe
LOL Levi you troublemaker ...
Jules | |
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| Are US women being taken for granted?
Posted: 6/22/2008 7:09:42 PM | So you are saying that men should owe women some thing for sex?
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It's usually about $200 an hour on Craglist. So I think a love poem, dinner at her favorite restaurant, and holding hands are a bargain. What do you think? | |
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| Are US women being taken for granted?
Posted: 6/22/2008 7:13:53 PM |
So you are saying that men should owe women some thing for sex?
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It's usually about $200 an hour on Craglist. So I think a love poem, dinner at her favorite restaurant, and holding hands are a bargain. What do you think?
Depends on the poem.
:D
Jules | |
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| Are US women being taken for granted?
Posted: 6/22/2008 7:14:56 PM | | If the man can support the family and both keep their marriage vows, the man should work to bring home the bacon and the woman should stay at home and cook the bacon. And fry it up in a pan. Especially if there is children growing up in the house. | |
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