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| Are US women being taken for granted?
Posted: 6/23/2008 7:54:11 PM | Hell Yes we're taken for granted! I bust my butt all day to bring home the bacon...I clean the house, do the laundry, chauffer the kids, mow the grass, clean the pool, do the grocery shopping, cook dinner.....and ALL I ask in return is a sexy man in silk boxers...maybe a little foot massage...and an hour or 2 of wild sex....and he calls me a PIG! Say's I'm nothing but a damned sexist...and he's got a headache! LOL! what's up with that....I thought men WANTED to be "sex objects"!!!! LOL!
Message 155:
Example 1: Valentine's Day
All ABOUT HER When is that? If it's a work day....then it's about work.
Example 2: Anneversires
the guy plans everything and gives all the gifts I was married for 20 years. I never forgot to buy him a gift. LOL! and on the 2 occassions that he did remember...I got a rotitiller one year...and a snowblower one year! (in the divorce..he kept the snowblower...and I kept the rotitiller)
Example 3: Mother's Day and father's day
Mothers are spoiled on mother's day but on father's day men are not. In fact I have heard women complain about how father's day shouldn't even exist as men don't deserve it. Men wear breast cancer ribbons on mother's day but I have never seen a woman wear prostate cancer ribbons on father's day. On Mother's Day....I cook dinner for the family. On Father's Day....I cook dinner for the family.
Example 4: Dates and GIfts
All planned, paid for and given by men The guy I'm dating may disagree with you. He's taken me out for dinner 4 times. Last week we went to a baseball game. I bought the tickets....not the cheap seats either $60 each...right behind home plate! GO INDIANS! He bought dinner. Gifts? Check "ask a guy"...under "buying him a gift".
Example 5: Sex
When she wants it and it is all about her pleasure. LOL! and your point IS?
Example 6: Housework
Men are expected to do their traditonal housework and help women with their housework. Women don't do the same. When was the last time a woman ever helped a man shovel? Dude....can we say REALITY CHECK here? I shoveled the drive for YEARS.....just so he wouldn't have a heart attack...and so he wouldn't be too tired for wild sex! LOL! It was AFTER he bought ME the snowblower that HE decided to do the drive. I mowed the 1 acre....he did the trimming.
Example 6: Emotional support
Men give it but never recieve it when they need it just as much. Yeah, well...I'm as much a cave dweller as the men are....so I guess we're both out of luck.
Example 7: Domestic violence, sexual manipulation, divorce, hiding money, having affairs, false accusations of rape and abuse
all carried out by women in greater numbers Hmmmm, well.....never experienced any of that...so I'll refrain from commenting. | |
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| Are US women being taken for granted?
Posted: 6/23/2008 9:51:21 PM | To the one who continues to berate my post......Oh......My........Oo.... I show respect for others as they show unto me.
And I failed to find the humor in the post; frankly, the insertion that it was supposedly humorous has a very dissingenuous ring to it, still , so I'm thinking it's not me who is one up on showing disrespect. But, ... that's been said of ayoo (by many) before, so....I don't need to make constant reminder of the fact. People see our true colors, yes?
FYI< I haven't bought, nor offered buying, a woman a drink in at least 3-4 yrs, nor do I play silly bar games, in lieu of sex. If some woman is seeking a free drink and considers sex an equal trade, I wouldn't take her home..... to my DOG!! The point was made regarding the non-essential preferential treatment women take for granted in the US. And by the way, if the free drinks and door cover aren't a PLUS, why is it still customary after 30 years, and why are all these hordes of women showing up every night?
as for
{ As in buy one drink past the FREE one ... ohhhh what a way to get men who normally couldn't get any to maybe get some ... from a woman or two who might have had a FREEBIE too many}<<<<<<<Let's refresh, shall we? Who has a photo, and who doesn't? Now, from that, let's extrapolate a bit; Who would, under those circumstances, appear not able to get any? See my point? LOL Touche!!
OT: I fail to see how US women are taken for granted, but I do see how ridiculous, far fetched and childish at least some are. | |
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| Are US women being taken for granted?
Posted: 6/23/2008 11:04:43 PM | HAHAHA I think it is hilarious and I don't get why you would be upset considering I am a woman,
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That is why he is upset.
(((<Let's refresh, shall we? Who has a photo, and who doesn't? Now, ..)) Hey! I don't have a foto! I just want folks to stop criticizing large segments of a population, such as "all women get special treatment...etc" Or "all men want sex" (not true, I am 48 yrs old have met 4 guys who didn't want sex, two of them was me one day). I like to worry about my side of the street, and give help and sometimes suggestions to those less fortunate. OH and this week I am giving out FREE KISSES, ALL WEEK! | |
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| Are US women being taken for granted?
Posted: 6/24/2008 12:53:54 AM | i don't feel i've been taken for granted in the role of female. i always have been in equal relationships with respect to work and responsibilities. i have been taken for granted here and there by my kids and one significant other as a "person". my two ex's did not take me for granted, they had "other" issues.
i guess i always see the good side and potential in people. not to mention that i march to the tune of a different drummer. that is pretty obvious to those who know me. i suppose i have the confidence to do that, but it is also a lonely road at times.
i cannot necessarily predict that someone is not going to live up to what i see. i tend to be a giver, try to do it w/o expecting back, i often get depleted and then i go on strike and take a look around me. we all have emotional bank accounts that need to have deposits and not just withdrawals.
BUT, i allow it to happen and only i can change it. i just want to give and take freely and with joy and respect and peace and passion in all that i do (as appropriate). to me this is not that hard, but apparently i tend to find the takers. i've always been a risk taker and a mover and shaker. my lymes disease has slowed me down physically, but you cannot squish a person's spirit or her passions.
i've always had the courage and i took the name serenity for good reason. now i continue to struggle with the "wisdom". when to be courageous and when to let someone go if i am being taken for granted. love does not allow for that option. wouldn't it be great to just be loved for exactly WHO YOU ARE?
PS i haven't read the whole thread here, because i smelled the bickering and just wasn't up for it tonite. i will read tomorrow. however, with respect to men's health, that was one of my strategic goals when a health care delivery consultant. men are very difficult to get to providers of care. most married men are dragged by their wives. all sorts of tricks have to be engaged to get men prostrate screening et al. i think it has to do with what was discussed on another thread about not asking for help and wanting to solve their own problems in a manly way. women do seek help. so, i guess we have different methods of coping when either of us need to be appreciated and cared for. often the anger, from both sides, seeps out due to some horrific past deed. we need to be careful to keep ourselves safe. | |
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| Are US women being taken for granted?
Posted: 6/24/2008 2:31:48 AM | Regarding the poster who insists on making this thread his own agenda and now is resorting to insulting other posters here quite strongly, please stop. I think it's starting to become obvious what you're doing - hijacking and flaming are the words that come to my mind and I'm starting to see you might be doing this all purposefully to get this thread deleted...like the one 'for the men' was.
You say above to validate your posts -
The point was made regarding the non-essential preferential treatment women take for granted in the US.
see, you even say it yourself, m, 'women take for granted' is the opposite of 'women being taken for granted'.
and serenity - a poster since this thread was revived who really focused solely on the topic question..... i could empathize with this line so much -
"....now i continue to struggle with the "wisdom". when to be courageous and when to let someone go if i am being taken for granted. love does not allow for that option. wouldn't it be great to just be loved for exactly WHO YOU ARE?
Wouldn't it just - I have a feeling it goes hand in hand with our loving others for exactly who they are too....so perhaps a question is how much capacity for acceptance does each of us really have? Obviously, as you mention mens' health safety, we all have to take responsibility for our safety first (emotional and mental safety too) and know when to let someone go. And, yes, love does 'allow for that option' when you love your Self. | |
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| Are US women being taken for granted?
Posted: 6/24/2008 4:35:01 AM | AS I see it, Oileyman and Onherown are essentially made for each other, both bitter, both hateful, and both too retarded to post their pictures. HMM.. what's the chance their both....nnnnaaahhhh
If you're gay, just let it out. We'll still like you, .... no, ... really!! But if two of them was you one day, then ask your alternate ego if his mouth tastes like.... ah... what the hell... not worth getting banned for 3 days.... lmao
Did you actually call this man gay? And if he was, what is that to you? Does he deserve to be labled by you? What judgement are you laying on others? Me a retard, him a retard ........... """HATEFUL""" Because I DON"T feel taken for granted? And disagree with you posts?
Wow ... manerider, you are pretty rude don't you think. However I do agree with WeAre1, there appears to be sabotage why? Oh I know, the men's thread which was started by the SAME OP ... was cut. So like a little boy you run around trying to get everyone's sandbox closed.
Regardless you comments were severely nasty ... yet I could still see the humour in them ... so it gave me a great big laugh. As far as my picts, well lots of posters also didn't post pictures. Does that make me less than desirable as a poster without a picture. Do you perhaps think might be too ugly to post, or what is the problem?
This isn't the first time you have called me RETARDED ... imagine. Such a nasty word, don't you know it is called mentally challenged?
Frankly I am the LAST person on earth who is bitter. I actually LOVE my life and have a great one. Full of love from my kids, family and friends. Always asked out by men, love to go south golfing, have a great home ... so see hey you know nothing about me at all.
I do not feel taken for granted, by the way. I do not let people use me, I got enough love in my life to keep away the leaches.
I also think it is quite funny, when my old profile had pictures you kept .... shall we say complimenting my posts ... and sent me a few ""cute"" letters. BUT now without a picture ... you don't know who I am so it you true colours are seeping out.
Are you upset because I DON'T feel taken for granted. I feel that you get what you give in this life. I don't date people who would take me for granted, so that is my boundaries. If I was taken for granted at one time it would have been when I was raising my 4 kids alone, and father only taking them if they were in perfect health. If one was sick ... well leave that child at the Mothers. But now My X and I are friends, kids grown, and he comes to my house for family dinners, 'cause he still can't cook. HAHAHA
Bitter? HAHAHA make me laugh again, I am going to be a Grandmother ... for the first time and I am LOVING it.
I don't feel taken for granted ................
I feel BLESSED.
I am in an exceptionally good mood lately and so your posts made me laugh my head off, and I am still trying to see where the free drinks are ...
*OnMyOwn* ... Looking left and right .... still looking for those great freebies to prove I don't get taken for granted and that I am SHOWERED with privilege.
Opppps there is my oldest son, stopped by my house to leave the mower as he will cut my 1/2 acre later today .... now that is NOT taken for granted, that is just too damn sweet ................
Happy summer manerider ... I truly wish for you for all your dreams to come true. And thank you so much for my laugh for a few days !!!! 
Huggggg for manerider .... hug, smile and again thanks for the laugh. ... Free drinks hahahahaha 
"""
What a bunch of cooks running around here.
Well I do COOK a mean roast !!!! Hahahaha | |
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| Are US women being taken for granted?
Posted: 6/24/2008 5:12:49 AM |
>*Stops and reads sign* ... Ladies Night free drinks.
Goes in bar and notices more men than women .../
Guess it's been a good long while since you've been to a bar OMO4. FYI, these days, the women at bars OUTNUMBER the men by about 8:1. Bar owners (primarily men) are the ones still living in the 70's! They refuse to give us a "Men's Night"...free drinks for the men, because they take us for granted. They think we'll still come in to socialize and relax even though there aren't any men there. For years bars had "ladies night" because it drew the men in. We women are being severely discriminated against as bar owners have not lifted a single finger to help us out in the same regard. I know of NO bar that has a "Men's Night"....LOL! unless perhaps it's a gay bar.
PS Mane! STOP FEEDING THE TROLLS! | |
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| Are US women being taken for granted?
Posted: 6/24/2008 5:23:55 AM |
Example 3: Mother's Day and father's day
Mothers are spoiled on mother's day but on father's day men are not. In fact I have heard women complain about how father's day shouldn't even exist as men don't deserve it. Men wear breast cancer ribbons on mother's day but I have never seen a woman wear prostate cancer ribbons on father's day.
(GrandmaBooBoo) On Mother's Day....I cook dinner for the family. On Father's Day....I cook dinner for the family.
Statements like this should never be taken as personal slights: they never apply to individuals, just groups. As a group, people invest more in Mother's Day than Father's Day, I believe is the thrust of the original argument. Then there are the bright lights like you, GBB. Just wish there were more like you.
Arlo
(interesting tidbit of trivia for youse guys: there are more collect calls on Father's Day than any other day of the year) | |
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| Are US women being taken for granted?
Posted: 6/24/2008 5:39:21 AM |
(manerider) Dood, at 48, you'd think you could save at least one thought, just hold it for 3 seconds.
Everytime someone spouts off with a weak, frivolous post, it only weakens their arguement. IE; people start to see your weak points.
Uhm, yah; about that...
That's the problem with the InterNet: it allows just any ole doofus with a 'puter to write any ole dreck, post it; then think he's William fargin' Shakespeare. In carpentry, there's a rule: Measure twice, cut once. People should modify that for the InterNet: think twice, post once (or maybe not at all).
Basically, this is turning into one huge slap-fest. It's silly, and it's painful to watch a bunch of supposed adults fiddle-farting around about a non-issue like this.
Meh. Go ahead and spaz out: I'm not your mommy; and, people are allowed to be as silly and childish as they want. Far be it from me to point out the silly spectacle all y'all are being...
Arlo | |
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| Are US women being taken for granted?
Posted: 6/24/2008 5:56:17 AM |
In carpentry, there's a rule: Measure twice, cut once. I knew I shoulda been a carpenter! In pipefitting we have a rule...."if ya cut it twice and it's still too short....get more pipe!" LOL!
CHALLENGE: to all of us who feel that we're being taken for granted: Petition as many pubs/bars/lounges as you can in your local area to offer us US women a "Men's Night". Wet T-shirt contests would be a plus!  | |
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| Are US women being taken for granted?
Posted: 6/24/2008 6:08:59 AM |
Wet T-shirt contests would be a plus!
I am with you on this one ... then we get to see the men who take care of themselves, vs the men who take us for granted by expecting us to believe that we would be digging them as they are.
Oh yeaaa ... the ones who won't accept a woman with a few expta pounds, but can't see if they have two different shoes on. They do perhaps take us for granted ... they for some reason still they they are gods gift to women. Hahaha Well those days are gone 'cause we want EQUAL to what we give. So simple really.
You kill me GBooBoo !!! running to the nearest wet T-shirt contest !!! | |
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| Are US women being taken for granted?
Posted: 6/24/2008 7:30:19 AM | The world was flat, then it became round; the earth was circled by the sun, then the earth was removed from the center of the solar system; evolution was a joke without foundation, then gentics was discovered and you have to ask yourself: "Where did all these dogs come from?"
In the midst of the 2nd world war (only speaking of 2 allied countries Great Brittian, and United States) to ensure Allied victory against Germany and Japan, women were needed in the factories to replace the fighting men no longer able to work these jobs. When many of the women discovered the freedom that came with working, and the sense of pride from self sufficiency, the divorce rates skyrocketed post war.
It's not hard to imagine what a new job may be like, or a new school, and even a new car, but no one is good enough to imagine exactly what these things will be like. We sure do expect they will be as we imagine because it's what we want, or maybe dread.
In time the reality of any thing or situation will emerge, and when it does I find myself often misinformed and even shocked at times to discover how my feelings had shaped my expectations. As emerging reality strengthens , let's say, when the Earth was flat and I was it's greatest proponent held in high esteem and the towns people spoke my name publicly...I was important! Though I sailed half way around the globe, I continued to seek the edge. It never came and I was about to be destroyed because I didn't understand my feelings and what drives me.
Everyday I hear people, men and women, state their lives; the conditions under which they live, jobs they are about to embark into, and even the purchase of a new car, yet not often enough do I hear the truest and deepest of feelings being discussed. Melanie (changed name) opened the door to a new used car and heard the beautiful bell and reportedly fell in love...it was so cute! It was my 3rd time now doing repairs for her and the bills were mounting. All along the way of her auto nightmare, reality emerged, the truth set in. She now was understanding why she must have that car and it wasn't the bell.
Ever just sit quietly in a room full of people and listen to their conversations? Not the words they use I mean, but rather only the feelings that underscore the words. It's amazing how dishonest we are in how we feel. Oh the things we get into because we are so afraid or ignorant to say how we truly feel when we need to. We easily exclaim how angry we are, but not so much the fear behind it, or maybe the shame from embarrassment. Why I could have killed that guy the way he cut through the intersection in front of me! There I was, backwards in the middle of the road and 20 pairs of eyes witnessing my screeching spin. Burning inside, I layed a smokey blue donut and raced away! I was embarrassed to be such a spectacle. Yes, I was angry, but just so I could hide.
Imagine, getting into committed relationships with fairy tale ideas, and hoping to lay claim to what we daydream about on our beds needing these dreams so much we may try to force them into existence ,and beforehand, never really talking about how we truly feel with each other creating opportunity to correct and reshape misconception. What the heck are we thinking beforehand...in anything?
It's funny, how everytime, even this late in life when my Dad attempts to require me to finish up food on the table, I still wonder if he hears I'm full and that I don't value overeating? Dad grew up under 10 good years of depression era ideology, and in a way, to him the world is flat when it comes to perishables.
I stand at the sink washing dishes, and a tiny feeling presents itself that this is womens work, and I ask myself, "Is the world flat?"
Is communication good in the beginning ?....is the lesson I learned. I hope.
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| Are US women being taken for granted?
Posted: 6/25/2008 6:06:58 AM | perhaps too many women and men are taking each other for granted - and it does seem to be reciprocal...for after all, is it really possible to be grateful for and appreciate and love someone who can't find love for you? and that is not passing the buck - just the opposite. i'm saying it starts with each of us and taking responsibility for our own feelings and attitudes.
i wrote a letter last night to a friend of mine and we were talking about this issue and in my reply some valid (perhaps) points came out - here are the ones i think might apply here - (and they applied to the 'satisfied women' thread also, so have put this post on both. sorry if you find it both places) -
people here haven't learned humility it seems. too many of the women here perhaps have not gone through real hardship - the worst being their divorces and perhaps that's why they take it out on the only ones they know - their ex's and men in general.
they don't know how to deal with anything that does not fall under the category of being caught in the external - external beauty and not seeing or knowing that people's beauty actually is much more internal that comes through....in fact most of us (people) are caught in that one until we are brought somehow to start looking at things and people in a different light........
........i think if i had not left this country, i'd be caught in the same stuff, perhaps, some of these women are - stuck on appearances (even more than i am :), stuck on being spoiled (even more:), stuck in a superficial and selfish view of the world - what some of you guys are saying about some US women - that too many you've come across are really like this - and i believe you. the country has purposefully kept us ignorant of anything more important because if the millions here became really conscious and focused on anything outside of ourselves, then we'd see and be a real threat to those running the show.
out of this country there isn't the censorship like here. the news tells the truth of what we do, unlike what we hear here. big brother here is so controlling everyone - we are truly powerless here - and they like it that way....because if we did all wake up and became conscious and aware and cared enough about anything other than our personal selves - then we'd be a real force.... if we could only just unify ourselves.
and when we talk privately, we do come together and can understand each other. but for some reason, lately, talking publicly here on the forums is bringing out the less than attractive and understanding sides in too many of us.
i knew you were a good man and maybe you're an exception too - there on the forums anyway....in my world there are many - an attractive man with a good heart and soul. one who can still feel deeply - who hasn't closed his heart with all the stuff of divorce and child support, and an ex that is taking everything and more and will continue to until the children are grown up....or maybe you are suffering from that and have a deeper inner strength to still be human and humane and to realize we're not all like that.
maybe i am lucky i left the country and grew up somewhere else where the men are not perfect, nor the women, but they are still people first, and they leave the royalty and royal airs to the real royal family.
humility is a wonderful thing. it teaches us not to think we are so special, and it also teaches us to see the beauty in everybody. | |
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| Are US women being taken for granted?
Posted: 6/27/2008 7:13:04 PM |
OT: I dont' think US women are taken for granted any more than they allow themselves to be. LOL
(is there an echo in here? )
HAHA...
I can agree with that 100%.
See, it is possible, once in a while, for men and women to agree....
Great minds think alike? | |
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| Are US women being taken for granted?
Posted: 6/28/2008 10:03:48 AM | I agree, the entire post was very interesting, this bit especially resonated for me:
Ever just sit quietly in a room full of people and listen to their conversations? Not the words they use I mean, but rather only the feelings that underscore the words. It's amazing how dishonest we are in how we feel. Oh the things we get into because we are so afraid or ignorant to say how we truly feel when we need to. We easily exclaim how angry we are, but not so much the fear behind it, or maybe the shame from embarrassment.
I do this all the time, including with forum posts, although it is more difficult to pick up the underlying fear in print, it is there. I think much of what drives any of us in feeling unappreciated is not being honest and clear with our underlying emotions and attitudes. First with ourselves... and then expressing them to others. | |
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| Are US women being taken for granted?
Posted: 6/28/2008 10:19:30 AM | I think the expectation may be some what generational. I have 2 daughters who have married guys who do all the cooking and cleaning. The girls know how to cook and clean but their husbands choose it. They have children and the guys seem to be more detailed in the feeding, diaper bag, and day care. Both of them are quite manly.
One is from Poland and 24 years older than my daughter. The other is 5 years older and was the football player and all around jock. (still is). But I look around and their friends their age are the same way. Maybe the world is just changing so that we can choose and not be gender-tasked oriented. | |
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| Are US women being taken for granted?
Posted: 6/28/2008 10:34:38 AM | I'm looking for a good female that is willing to go the distance, not 2 months, nor 2 years, but the distance. I need someone fare, clean, someone who likes to laugh, and loves to have fun. Life is great and we need to live it to the fullest, not being mad, not being sad, not being stuck up, and no drama. Lets smile, and enjoy life. A woman is powerful, strong, she knows what she wants, shes determine, she aims at her goals, she works, cooks, cleans, take of the children, and go to school a woman is my best friend. She's not a 10, she is a diamond. The mother of the earth. | |
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| Are US women being taken for granted?
Posted: 6/28/2008 10:38:26 AM | As obvious as disharmony (or fear) is when it is showing, i love the harmony that has appeared here on this thread these last few posts.
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