| How Long should it be?
Posted: 4/24/2008 9:43:13 PM | Depends on whether you cook for him or not! (And if it's GOOD) | |
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| How Long should it be?
Posted: 4/25/2008 7:24:39 AM | | hi i am a man if i dont give you all those things right off the back then i am just playing around.if you have to ask the question you allready nkow theres a problem. | |
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| How Long should it be?
Posted: 4/25/2008 12:58:25 PM | | So does this mean I musta picked a bad time to be in love? | |
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| How Long should it be?
Posted: 4/25/2008 9:48:08 PM | Well now that I have all your attention  Here is a little more to the story!
He got out of a not so good relationship and is very afraid of falling back into the same thing. I am always in his exs shadow..and I know that will happen with a broken heart. He was with her for 2 yrs and she broke it off. I have known him for 10 months and have been very close and intimate with him. I have told him I loved him but he is not ready for that so I backed off a bit. I know he cares deeply for me, but is he afraid to tell me his true feelings? Sometimes we women like to hear it to. That is kinda what I am asking for...I guess. Just something to make me think I am somebody special to him. *shrugs her shoulders* maybe it is too much to ask.......Now more comments?
Thanks again..and the thread heading is just as I planned it to be lol.....good luck and happy fishing!!!!      | |
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| How Long should it be?
Posted: 4/25/2008 10:42:31 PM | Okay, 7 - 8 inches for the question I thought it was about.
About 3 weeks for the actual question.
And for your update, all I can say is, 10 months and you two are not exclusive??!? Or is he just not saying I love you? It's been too long. Either way. | |
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| How Long should it be?
Posted: 4/25/2008 10:59:10 PM | I don't think there's a single correct answer, or that you can assign a time frame. What works for me is to let the relationship progress naturally. Sometimes there's a synchronization in timing, so that each person arrives at the conclusion that they're in love at the same time. Whether it's a couple of weeks to a couple of months or a couple of years ... whatever works for the couple. I think the problem arises when one person (such as, in your case) is more vocal about his/her feelings (if I'm reading your post correctly).
I don't know the answer. That's very helpful, isn't it? 
But, I would say the question is more along the lines of "How long are you willing to deal with the disparity in commitment level or intention?" Orrrr, something like that. I know it's difficult to have reached that level of intensity, or to have fallen in love without some assurance of reciprocity. And, I can understand that some people are slower to verbalize their feelings. Does he show you that he loves you, in other ways? If he does, and you're reassured by that, then it's not "wrong" for him to hold off on telling you until he sincerely feels the emotion (if that ever happens). You probably wouldn't want him to say the three magic words out of a feeling of obligation (in other words, just because you said them first). So, if you can bear waiting, it may be worthwhile to continue to allow the relationship to progress.
With that said, for my own well-being I would probably have in mind a time frame. I would not present anything as an ultimatum, in any form. It would be my little secret. And, if he hadn't come around by _____ # of days (your determination of a reasonable time frame), I'd figure that this relationship isn't headed in the direction I wanted, and seek an alternate one. Sounds easy, huh?
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| How Long should it be?
Posted: 4/26/2008 7:10:39 PM | OP,(wow, it's great when the OP actually sticks around)
I believe this may be a Venus/Mars thing, and your SO cares for you very deeply. The only thing us guys do worse than understanding our feelings, is showing our feelings. Time will tell very shortly here, in a couple months, you'll probably have your answer either way. Best of luck to you both. Oh ,yeah, and that cooking post is actually very true. Funny, but true. | |
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| How Long should it be?
Posted: 4/28/2008 7:27:05 AM | Thanks for all of your responses. I realize that it is really different for some to express their feelings. Sometimes we seem to get ahead of ourselves and express a little too soon. I have to hand it to him really....I would rather he be ready and mean it then to just blurt it out. But, really it isn't the "I love you" I am looking for, just whether or not he is ready for me and only me.
Oh and the cooking.......not a problem there. Seems we Germans make a mean potato salad LOL!
I really do appreciate you guys taking the time to read my post...but then how couldn't you right LOL... Gosh, kinda cute to see the responses for that too!!!!!!!     | |
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| How Long should it be?
Posted: 4/28/2008 7:30:49 AM | | I have known people that meet and become unseparable from that date on--others I know meet and barely see each other--therefore never giving it time to grow--if its right--you know--if not--you make excuses to not see the person. | |
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| How Long should it be?
Posted: 4/28/2008 11:33:09 PM | OP,
Gotta agree with you there, my ex was German, and she made a mean pasta salad. I have to say, to her credit, she could cook!
Man, this ain't right, you're makin' me drool! | |
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