| WTH Breakup by text???
Posted: 4/25/2008 8:56:52 PM | | yes it is wrong and immature but i guess at least he told her some guys don't say anything they just change there number and dissappear | |
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| WTH Breakup by text???
Posted: 4/25/2008 10:17:31 PM | Hey rjb. I had the exact same thing happen over the Christmas holidays. Was dating a 42 yo woman. Gave her a very expensive Blackberry phone as a Christmas give with all the accessories and she used it to dump me by text the Sunday before New Years via the phone that I had just given her. Not so classy. Ofcourse she kept the phone too. I told her that we should probably talk and she said(via text) that there was nothing to talk about.
So, no this is NOT an acceptible form of breaking off a relationship. I don't give a crap what anyone else says. | |
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| WTH Breakup by text???
Posted: 4/25/2008 10:21:59 PM | | I think the hard part for a person to deal with in a breakup is the fact that the other person no long wants them. Finding out in person does not make it any less painless. If the other person has no intention of remaining friends, then I think finding out in a text or email is easier to accept than face to face. | |
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| WTH Breakup by text???
Posted: 4/25/2008 11:06:59 PM | | I got dumped over the phone, the day after I met her entire family at a reunion, during which she knew she was seeing another guy and was gonna leave me for him haha. Am I bitter? yes, yes I am, why did I admit that? Because I want you to know that if you dwell on it enough you're gonna end up bitter like me, it sucks... don't do it... You don't wanna hafta take years to get over something that really means piddly shit in the long run. | |
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| WTH Breakup by text???
Posted: 4/25/2008 11:50:04 PM | OP: "WTH Breakup by text???"
So what. It's hardly the bottomline. | |
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| WTH Breakup by text???
Posted: 4/26/2008 12:49:41 PM | People let's get realistic here. I personally do not know way too many peopole who will seat you dawn and explain in a polite manner all the reasons why they do not want to be with you. After that see you being dissapointed or even hurt. Answer all your queastion, comfort you and etc. Yes these day we do it by text, e-mail, phone.
Sure you may want to know the truth. But quite franckly which guy wants to hear that she is not happy with his penis, they don't want you because you are a single parent, have a lot of debt, have some visible extra pounds and he doesn't see you in a partner role because of that. People have many reasons why they break up and many of them are not that politically correct. | |
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| WTH Breakup by text???
Posted: 4/26/2008 2:11:05 PM | | sarasotagal...that's sad, really sad if people won't take the time to "sit down and explain in a polite manner" that they don't want to see you anymore. That's what's wrong with the world today. People taking the easy way out of doing hard things. The joys of technology making life easier for all. | |
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| WTH Breakup by text???
Posted: 4/26/2008 2:18:40 PM | Re post 85:
Good analysis.
Re post 86:
"...That's what's wrong with the world today...."
Is this a new thing, other than the text way?
In the old world, there were "50 ways to leave your lover". Now there are 52 (email and text). Soon 53: Video message! | |
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| WTH Breakup by text???
Posted: 4/26/2008 2:36:24 PM | No comment really - just sending OP my best wishes... Yes, this has happened to me, too. And yes, it stinks... Keep your spirit held high!  | |
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| WTH Breakup by text???
Posted: 4/26/2008 5:22:38 PM | Rosalinda,
no I didn't slap him, copied it all sent it to my lawyer, packed my stuff and walked away! Cancelled all payments to his bills and made sure his family knew exactly what he wasn't capable of i.e being grown up!
As for men going backwards in terms of maturity, quite possibly but thankfully not all of them do this! | |
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| WTH Breakup by text???
Posted: 4/26/2008 5:34:47 PM | | It is a bad way to end a good thing, Not my style, but then, if they sat you down and gave you a load of tired old excuses, "its not you, its me" " thought I was ready to move on with you but..." would you feel any better? Personally I would think I was being lied to, unless th person was big enough to tell it like it is, and how many of them have you met? | |
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| WTH Breakup by text???
Posted: 4/26/2008 6:19:56 PM |
Now there are 52 (email and text). Soon 53: Video message!
oooohh... THAT could get ugly...
I was thinking about it at work today... there's been a few times I've been dumped that I would much rather have just gotten an email or text saying "F*ck off, don't want you anymore!"
Like my first wife screwing around and spending all my money on pot hoping I'd dump her... LOL, too lazy to break up with me...
Or the nutty one that pulled a gun on me...
Yeah, txt is better sometimes... It's a very efficient form of communication.
OP (and others), I can understand if it's out of the blue and it's a really good person dumping you, you would like to know what the problem was so you can possibly make improvements to yourself or your life, make a better go of it next time around. But if there's known problems and one or both of you can't/won't change, just a quick note is all you need.
Myself, I like me and my life and it would have to be somebody really super duper special and perfect in every way for me to make any changes. And she doesn't exist... So if somebody doesn't want me anymore then that's all I need to know. That and who gets custody of the toys.... | |
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| WTH Breakup by text???
Posted: 4/26/2008 6:22:56 PM | Class. Character. Integrity. It all comes down to possessing ( or in this case NOT possessing) these qualities.
A person with class, character and integrity would never do such a thing........
It is really that simple.
Peace | |
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| WTH Breakup by text???
Posted: 4/26/2008 7:08:16 PM | oh my god! this happened to me!
i broke things off with a guy that i had been with for 5 months. i was crazy about him but he didn't feel the same way. so... i broke up with him. we talked about it via email and i had every intention of seeing him again to say good bye and talk about it in person. he couldn't have cared less. i was really really hurt, but he couldn't have cared less. he woudn't see me or even email me back after his " you are wondeful... but it's me not you... i am not ready for a relationship" email.... of course, that was all a lie...
i don't know why men do this stuff, but i think they prefer to make a quick get away. they don't want to deal with the feelings of the other person, even though to women, this is the right way to handle things. it is cold and heartless and can really mess with a person badly. some men just dont seem to care... they just slink away...
lar | |
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| WTH Breakup by text???
Posted: 5/30/2008 9:57:02 AM | This actually happened to me once!! On New Year's Day of all days!! The only good thing about it was that I did not have to see the guy again and it saved me from breaking up with him. I had already planned to break up with him but was going to wait till the next time I talked to him, but getting that text from him saved me all the trouble and awkwardness!!
I think given the right situation it works but if not it can be very hurtful!! | |
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| WTH Breakup by text???
Posted: 5/30/2008 10:02:48 AM | | My boyfriend today just broke up with me by text. He said I was an amazing indidual and it wasnt me. And a bunch of other bullshit. He said that he had strong feelings for me but he wasnt in love with me. He was the only person who made me feel beautiful and wanted at the same time. I never felt like this towards anyone before. I just think its bullshit that he couldnt of even called or do it to my face. It just hurts that I got dumped by text :( | |
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| WTH Breakup by text???
Posted: 5/30/2008 10:04:05 AM | Yeah thats harsh, and yup shes better off without him. I dumped someone by text once, reason was he lied to me, big time, about something huge, he didnt deserve a proper dumping :) ive never been dumped, but if i was to be, id be gutted if it was by
text. | |
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| WTH Breakup by text???
Posted: 5/30/2008 10:14:58 AM |
While that's not my style, it sure would beat the heck out of endless conversations trying to explain it to someone who didn't want to hear it.
Typically, it's been said in many different ways, it's just that one person either isn't listening or is overcompensating in trying to make up for deficiencies.
Eazk is a smart man.
Your friend may have been energetically keeping this relationship going and there wasn't one. A guy or a girl who breaks up through text message probably doesn't like confrontation, so it's probably hard for that person to put their 2 cents into the relationship even when it's "working" or seeming to work. Best thing is to end it, because that's a fundemental breakdown in communication.
I don't see the point in getting riled up about how someone ends things if it isn't working. It's not like he cleaned out her bank account, sold all her furniture, kidnapped her dog, got her younger sister pregnant and then skipped town. If he had, I would share in your outrage. | |
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| WTH Breakup by text???
Posted: 5/30/2008 10:32:22 AM | Face it. There is no easy way to break up with someone. Hell, texting is probably the nicest way to do it since you do not have to sit there awkwardly facing one another trying to figure out what to do next. When ya gotta do it, breaking up is breaking up no matter how you do it. Sometimes you just have to
Slip out the back Jack.
Make a new plan sam.
Get on the bus gus.
Your friend would not have been happy no matter how the guy choosed to end the relationship. If he had chosen to sit down face to face with her, she probably would have started crying and uselessly begging, or worse, she may have gotten unreasonably angry and freaked out on him. She needs to just face the fact that it is over and that nothing else matters. | |
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| WTH Breakup by text???
Posted: 5/30/2008 5:00:41 PM | | I've got to agree with all of the others who say that it's tacky, but better than nothing at all. I'll take a text, email or note by carrier pigeon any day over the disappearing act. I'm dealing with the after-effects of a disappearing act at the moment. It's kind of turned me off from dating for a while. | |
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| WTH Breakup by text???
Posted: 5/30/2008 5:44:17 PM | I wonder what the text was. Aren't you limited to number of characters? Might put a persons creativity to the test.
NO MRE. D8S R OVR. BI.
ILL NOT CUL8R.
69N SUM1 ELSE.
IM GONE.
CANT CU NEMORE
FOUND N OTHR 1 2 SHAG
SEXN ANOTHER
Sorry for your loss. Text dumping is reserved for those without balls. I hope word gets around that he is a gold member of the Vienna boys choir. | |
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| WTH Breakup by text???
Posted: 5/31/2008 10:17:28 AM | | childish, breaking up with someone over text is more immature than a parent giving the birds and bees talk over text or IM. sheesh | |
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| WTH Breakup by text???
Posted: 5/31/2008 10:37:44 AM | | He's 42 going on 2. What a childish, cowardly thing for him to do! Sadly lots of men seem to think this type of negative behaviour is acceptable. It makes things easier for them. It's happened to me before and it's not nice nor respectful either. When it happened to me I thought to myself that I was glad to be rid of him and glad I found out his negative true colours before it progressed further (I called him up and gave him a good ass ripping too, which he deserved). She is better off without him and I hope she doesn't let him win and get her down. She needs to pick herself up, dust herself, off and put one foot in front of the other and move foward. | |
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| WTH Breakup by text???
Posted: 5/31/2008 10:55:32 AM | | well my last bf did the SAME thing and he was 56 so go figure!!! i also thought it was VERY rude, cowardly and just plain disgusting. i mean i would have appreciated the courtesy of a phone call. this was after 3 months, not like we had just met. some people just have no manners. | |
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