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 litefoot77
Joined: 3/14/2008
Msg: 126
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MEN DON'T GET MARRIED IN ORDER TO NOT HAVE SEXPage 6 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
soulmate08; if a man knows these things.. he will never go without sex or making love..

well said
 angelwinz
Joined: 11/27/2006
Msg: 127
MEN DON'T GET MARRIED IN ORDER TO NOT HAVE SEX
Posted: 4/25/2008 1:30:52 PM
Soulmate08 in my opinion has it nailed right. I was married for 25 years and I stayed married that long because I believe in my vows, but I decided I didn't want to live my next 20 years like I lived that 20 years so .. mmm enough said on that, I'm single now and enjoying life again . If my ex knew what the men that Soulmates08 know, I would still be married. So how do I meet a man like that Soulmate08?
 QTpye16
Joined: 6/29/2007
Msg: 128
MEN DON'T GET MARRIED IN ORDER TO NOT HAVE SEX
Posted: 4/25/2008 2:54:16 PM
k-lo,


You people slay me. Do you honestly think his wife doesn't already have an inkling as to what he's discussing with his friend?


You know, people like YOU slay me! The main point of discussing the issue with his wife is to get a SOLUTION! I don't care how many other people you discuss a situation with, you will ALWAYS get assumptions, not 100% facts, because they don't know all the details, they are only giving advice or opinions based on one person's details or side of the story. I tell you older people get dumper by the minute!
 galonthemt
Joined: 10/31/2007
Msg: 129
MEN DON'T GET MARRIED IN ORDER TO NOT HAVE SEX
Posted: 4/25/2008 7:10:05 PM
A husband and wife were married for 20 years. There was no longer any intimacy between them so the wife asked the husband to go with her for couseling. Almost immediately the woman went on a tirade of the problems in the marriage. The lack of intimacy, the neglect, the total break down of loving .
The counselor looked over at the husband waiting for a response. When he got none he walked over to the wife and told her to stand up. He embraced her and kissed her passionately. When he was done he looked at the husband and said, THIS is what your wife needs at least three times a week. Can you manage that?
The husband raised an eyebrow, stood up and said~~~~~ I can drop her off every Monday and Wednesday, but Fridays are for fishing.
 Cazimi
Joined: 3/15/2008
Msg: 130
MEN DON'T GET MARRIED IN ORDER TO NOT HAVE SEX
Posted: 4/25/2008 7:16:33 PM

A husband and wife were married for 20 years. There was no longer any intimacy between them so the wife asked the husband to go with her for couseling. Almost immediately the woman went on a tirade of the problems in the marriage. The lack of intimacy, the neglect, the total break down of loving .
The counselor looked over at the husband waiting for a response. When he got none he walked over to the wife and told her to stand up. He embraced her and kissed her passionately. When he was done he looked at the husband and said, THIS is what your wife needs at least three times a week. Can you manage that?
The husband raised an eyebrow, stood up and said~~~~~ I can drop her off every Monday and Wednesday, but Fridays are for fishing.


galonthemt

Great story !!
Thanks for the laugh...........lol
 ExplosiveSheep
Joined: 9/22/2007
Msg: 131
MEN DON'T GET MARRIED IN ORDER TO NOT HAVE SEX
Posted: 4/25/2008 11:26:12 PM
I swear to god, I'd be divorced so fast if what was 3+ times a week went down to once a month. I wouldn't say she's as big a cheat as him, because it's 2 different things, but as far as I'm concerned it's grounds for a divorce.
 elisabeth1
Joined: 4/18/2008
Msg: 132
MEN DON'T GET MARRIED IN ORDER TO NOT HAVE SEX
Posted: 4/26/2008 9:04:52 AM
Men do love sex and its not fair for a women to use sex as a weapon to hook a guy and then refain like she is some stuck up virgin or nun. Really Evil in fact. Dont like it SAY it in advance.
 nycdoctor
Joined: 8/2/2005
Msg: 133
MEN DON'T GET MARRIED IN ORDER TO NOT HAVE SEX
Posted: 4/29/2008 7:45:50 AM
Listen..my friend tell his wife all the time he need it and she turn around and calls him selfish. After complaining for one year...he now wants to cheats and personally i don't blame him.
 K-lo
Joined: 7/31/2006
Msg: 134
MEN DON'T GET MARRIED IN ORDER TO NOT HAVE SEX
Posted: 4/29/2008 9:37:24 AM
Huh? I feel "dumper" today than I did yesterday. Must be getting old.
 soundman2006
Joined: 2/12/2006
Msg: 135
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MEN DON'T GET MARRIED IN ORDER TO NOT HAVE SEX
Posted: 4/29/2008 10:43:09 AM
A husband and wife were married for 20 years. There was no longer any intimacy between them so the wife asked the husband to go with her for couseling. Almost immediately the woman went on a tirade of the problems in the marriage. The lack of intimacy, the neglect, the total break down of loving .
The counselor looked over at the husband waiting for a response. When he got none he walked over to the wife and told her to stand up. He embraced her and kissed her passionately. When he was done he looked at the husband and said, THIS is what your wife needs at least three times a week. Can you manage that?
The husband raised an eyebrow, stood up and said~~~~~ I can drop her off every Monday and Wednesday, but Fridays are for fishing.
rofl... there it is right there!!!!
i love these forums the men say it this way, the gals say it that way..how much more can we be not alike.it's sad but seems more and more true. did our generation figure it out? our divorce rate says so, no?
 Mayladybug62
Joined: 5/18/2006
Msg: 136
MEN DON'T GET MARRIED IN ORDER TO NOT HAVE SEX
Posted: 4/30/2008 1:26:05 AM
This is a very interesting topic. I have wondered about this myself over the years. Just recently I have had occasion to have converstations with two men that are in the midst of a divorce. And while sex itself (or the lack thereof) is not the primary reason for the divorce, it does factor into the equation. But for both men, it wasn't just sex they were missing. It was intimacy.

In converstaions with both men, they shared that it had become unbearable to live with a woman they had loved and attempted to share a life with, without so much as a hug or kiss on the cheek or any type of tenderness shown.

ONe cannot help but think that women who completely cut off the man they profess to love more than any other are engaging in some sort of game playing.

Of course, no one except those that are involved will ever know of what conversations about the lack of physical intimacy took place in these relationships. But, knowing both men well, I can imagine it did get discussed. And this was not a "instantaneous" change....it evolved to this point.

Men who marry, like women, have a strong desire for caring and sharing and touch and feeling like they are IMPORTANT to the person who is most important in their life. Being welcomed home, a hug or kiss, "how's your day" can go a long way in a relationship. It's those little things that pave the way and set the tone for a loving intimate atmosphere.

I think it is so very wrong for men or women to withhold intimacy of any kind in the context of marriage. As someone else said....when you are married....it's license to share the "icing on the cake" so to speak. And if you aren't sharing, and you value the vows of marriage....then you are really stuck.

Some serious converstation needs to occur for this couple who are not being open and honest. If there is a problem...work it out. If the wife says there is no problem and is not willing to redevelop intimacy with her spouse, then he will have to make some decisions that may be hard and painful. But, I would encourage him to make serious attempts and getting to the root of the problem and see what can be done before seeking intimacy outside his marriage.
 tigerlily1
Joined: 12/20/2007
Msg: 137
MEN DON'T GET MARRIED IN ORDER TO NOT HAVE SEX
Posted: 4/30/2008 1:32:09 AM
Number two stated it well........ Councilling to commucniate the problem couldnt hurt as it appears the comunciation has run off together with the sex and their is nothing left unfortuanltey.......

I agree with you I could not stay in a situation where their was no intimacy and no explanation...... I would move out immediatley and give my partner every opportunity to communicte with me with regard to the lack of intimacy if this could not be resolved in a pleasant caring and understanding way privatley and togther then a divorce would be inevetable.......

cheating is not the answer and is yoru friends excuse to take the easy way out........
 AnglFlynToCloseToGround
Joined: 4/16/2008
Msg: 138
MEN DON'T GET MARRIED IN ORDER TO NOT HAVE SEX
Posted: 4/30/2008 1:58:47 AM
They should talk it over and see what the problem is or reach an agreement on how to meet together on things ... If that isnt posible then a devorce should be next THEN he can get it else where ... It realy bothers me when ppl cheat on there spouse ... Thats one of the reasons I am still single after all these years ... I dont cheat and I exspect the same , exspecialy if I am married ... Even if he wouldnt give me any I wouldnt cheat on him ... NO WAY ...
 Katzpalace
Joined: 3/29/2008
Msg: 139
MEN DON'T GET MARRIED IN ORDER TO NOT HAVE SEX
Posted: 4/30/2008 4:06:49 AM
Why did they get married? Just to have unlimited wild sex...that's not a good reason to get married. Sex is just the benefit, not just all there is to marriage.

Heck, I get bored doing the same thing day in and day out. Maybe they are bored of just having and doing the same thing all the time. They probably got married with the wrong idea in their heads. Many people get married for the wrong reasons. This is why i am in no rush to marry. I want to make a good decision. I want to know that this person will stay put for many many years to come. I want to see our 30th anniversary and go way past that too.

Love isn't just in having sex. It involves the heart and loving the person. You help each other through hard times and rejooice together through the happy times.
 kittenshere41
Joined: 4/16/2008
Msg: 140
MEN DON'T GET MARRIED IN ORDER TO NOT HAVE SEX
Posted: 4/30/2008 4:35:20 AM
nycdoctor, cheating is not the answer. If he is unhappy he needs to simple divorce. why give the spouse something he possible catches while playing around. If you got to cheat then you got no business being married to begin with. Its also not love.
 Feminine Muse
Joined: 4/17/2008
Msg: 141
MEN DON'T GET MARRIED IN ORDER TO NOT HAVE SEX
Posted: 4/30/2008 6:35:49 AM
a good friend of mine once told me that his wife shows more affection to the family dog than to him. this is a very good looking, kind and loving man and I felt so badly for him. We don't really discuss his sex life but from the jist of it he's not gettting much from his wife. so sad.
 nycdoctor
Joined: 8/2/2005
Msg: 142
MEN DON'T GET MARRIED IN ORDER TO NOT HAVE SEX
Posted: 4/30/2008 7:42:46 AM
Without sex in the relationship...u are living with a roommate.
The reason why most men can't just leave...is because
-they won't be able to see their kids

-tooo tooo too expensive
 galonthemt
Joined: 10/31/2007
Msg: 143
MEN DON'T GET MARRIED IN ORDER TO NOT HAVE SEX
Posted: 4/30/2008 7:45:56 AM
Actually finances are the same reason most women dont leave.
 kittenshere41
Joined: 4/16/2008
Msg: 144
MEN DON'T GET MARRIED IN ORDER TO NOT HAVE SEX
Posted: 4/30/2008 7:48:56 AM
women cannot stop a man from seeing his own kids. there are courts to help you with that if needed. the only way she can do that is if she can prove he is unfit. staying due to kids is a big no no. a man has jsut as many rights to his child as the mother does. when me and my ex who is deceast now divorced, we shared the kids and he and I were best firends. So not all women try to use the kids to punish the man. But I know there are those and I aslo know You have choices about seeing your kids.
 OAS500
Joined: 2/8/2006
Msg: 145
MEN DON'T GET MARRIED IN ORDER TO NOT HAVE SEX
Posted: 4/30/2008 12:12:57 PM
QUOTE:"Without sex in the relationship...u are living with a roommate.
The reason why most men can't just leave...is because
-they won't be able to see their kids

-tooo tooo too expensive"

Also because most dont want to lose 1/2 or more of their assets behind.

Although, heck, if i'd have gotten 1/2 i'd be dacing in the streets!
My ex and i almost stopped having sex on our honeymoon in romantic Maui.
We averaged 1 or 2 times a year after that and she didnt seem very "into it" when we did.

Funny, you'd think a married woman would think well that her husband found her sexy and attractive?
Turns out mine was after a butler and a babysitter. and thats all.

I even had her "confirm" it to my face.
About a year after our divorce she "hooked up" with some guy she met on the internet.
The guy was a putz, came home drunk, smoked like a chimney, even cursed at her son and his friends.
He left multiple times, she kicked him out multiple times.
And she would confide in me when he was gone.
Stup that i was i listened to her gripes and tried to help her get over it.
She would have him back the next day though.
Until one time after a perticularly BAD episode.........

I asked her WHY she would put up with someone like this??
she answered "Well, i just need to keep him around till i get my next paycheck"
(she has a kinda seasonal job)
"After i get that i can boot him out for good."
I said Gee thats COLD!! even if he is an ***hole.
Guess i was the same kinda deal, huh?

"Take it as you see it." was her reply. GEEEEEZ!
Next time she needed someone to "talk to" i told her to find someone who cares.

There are many MANY women out there who will BBD you in a heartbeat.
Even though they supposedly "Love You".

Solution??
DON'T GET MARRIED IN THE FIRST PLACE.
Cant break what doesnt exist , right?
 galonthemt
Joined: 10/31/2007
Msg: 146
MEN DON'T GET MARRIED IN ORDER TO NOT HAVE SEX
Posted: 4/30/2008 12:23:45 PM
oas500..........Your right....thats not love..........thats cold and calculating and I'm sorry any man has to experience that.

I have never known a couple where the sex ceased immediately after the wedding. This all just boggles my mind. I have known marriages where the sex lessened and even stopped for periods of time for various reasons however. They worked through it. It may have been stress or even something medical. But when sex ceases for lack of live then the marriage should be ended.
 Lobster Johnson
Joined: 1/9/2008
Msg: 147
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MEN DON'T GET MARRIED IN ORDER TO NOT HAVE SEX
Posted: 4/30/2008 3:04:36 PM
Yeah OP, but to take it one step further, why get married for sex? I know, dudes get lazy and want that contant girl they can fall back on, but you don't need marriage for that.
 cotter
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 148
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MEN DON'T GET MARRIED IN ORDER TO NOT HAVE SEX
Posted: 5/4/2008 8:42:05 AM
"Loz Hunter" wrote (message 20) ...
And for the snotty men posts about women withholding sex:
get over yourself it happens both ways, the sight of a lump of lard sprawled on the sofa snoring all evening, wakes up scratches his ****s and says right then its Saturday - get in the bedroom, oh how romantic is that, not a fricking chance I am going there then or ever again........ urghhhhhhhhh
OMG ... that is absolutely precious ... and yes I have experienced that.

The older I get the more I'm hearing from the older gentlemen that while sex is important to them, they are finding that they physically just can't keep up with a woman who wants sex more than a couple times a week. (These men are good friends and not potential partners ... and they are quite open with me about those things.)

If that's the case ... then it's certain that any relationship at this point with such gentlemen will have to involve two people who can get a lot of satisfaction out of physical contact that doesn't necessarily involve actual "copulation".

I know I can do that even though I'd be up to sex more than a couple times a week. I guess I'm really fortunate that I also derive a great deal of pleasure with just lying next to a partner and cuddling / snuggling.
 Brian_Thorn
Joined: 9/7/2006
Msg: 149
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MEN DON'T GET MARRIED IN ORDER TO NOT HAVE SEX
Posted: 5/4/2008 10:54:45 AM

The older I get the more I'm hearing from the older gentlemen that while sex is important to them, they are finding that they physically just can't keep up with a woman who wants sex more than a couple times a week.


Interesting only because my experience has been the exact opposite. Where exactly do you find men like you describe? I am guessing either a nursing home or a morgue. With all the modern methods available these days to make men regardless of age physically able, I can only surmise that the men in question are either emotionally unable...or dead. I am of course leaning toward the latter of the two.

That said though, contrary to what is apparently popular belief, men don't get married either to have sex or not have sex. They get married for reasons completely unrelated to sex. Obviously they get married for love, children, companionship, and all that comes with it, otherwise why bother? Why would one presume the reasons men get married is any different from the reasons a woman would get married?

I should have thought that would be nothing more than common sense, but judging from some of the responses here, I apparently thought wrong. Mores the pity.

Have fun ;)!
 galonthemt
Joined: 10/31/2007
Msg: 150
MEN DON'T GET MARRIED IN ORDER TO NOT HAVE SEX
Posted: 5/4/2008 11:52:25 AM
Oh we are all so unwise............so lacking in common sense..........of course we all know that sex is part of , but not the whole, of the package.
The original post was about sex ceasing IMMEDIATELY after marriage.
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