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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > MEN DON'T GET MARRIED IN ORDER TO NOT HAVE SEX      Home login  
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 Larissan04
Joined: 4/28/2004
Msg: 175
MEN DON'T GET MARRIED IN ORDER TO NOT HAVE SEXPage 8 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
no, i am a woman and woulnd't say that it's her body...blah blah blah...

the bottom line is... if a woman stops sleeping with her husband she is really damaging the relationship. eventually the guy WILL cheat..even if he isn't the cheating type. it's just down right mean to do that.

okay...so maybe sometimes you don't want to have sex, or youre tired, or whatever.. but to stop completely? without an explanation? huh? she shouldn't be surprised if her husband ends up leaving her over this. i think it is really important for a couple to have the same level of sexual desire... because when this is a mismatch it causes problems. but i think there is something more going on here. she may be sleeping with someone else, or she may be holding on to some deep anger that she is not willing to deal with. or it could be that he has changed the way he tries to approach her when he wants to have sex...ie, no foreplay, or that 'ol kiss for two seconds then "let's go." of course, things change after two people have been married for a while... but for a woman to completely stop having sex... ridiculous. period.

yeah...i'd even go so far as to say it is her "wifely duty" to sleep with her husband... yes even if she doesn't want to... and i am sure some proto-feminist will slam me for saying so...but the fact is.. aren't you supposed to do things for the other person? aren't you supposed to make sacrifices and compromises at times? i don't get it.. if i was married to a man that i was crazy about and he said, "honey... could you please...(fill in the blank).," even if i wasn't in the mood... how could i say "no."

lar
 Its Better Together
Joined: 7/27/2008
Msg: 176
MEN DON'T GET MARRIED IN ORDER TO NOT HAVE SEX
Posted: 11/17/2008 7:35:32 AM
Wow...if men such as your friend think that getting married is a licence/contract to have sex on demand/command and his attitude is that it's now his new wife's offical "duty" to put out whenever HE wants it...it's no wonder SHE shut down right after they tied the knot. Talk about p*ssing on the fire and killing the desire.

Thanks, but no thanks...I'll stick to wild ass "pre-marital" monkey sex!
 Lil Brooker
Joined: 6/17/2008
Msg: 177
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MEN DON'T GET MARRIED IN ORDER TO NOT HAVE SEX
Posted: 11/17/2008 7:38:33 AM

I grew up doing all the housework for years in a house of 6 and it doesn't take no 8 hours to do all that housework, take care of young ones, etc.

Well, you didn't have my kids or my lifestyle. I was up with them early in the morning and putting them to bed in the evening. My husband was usually asleep before they were put to bed...on the couch with the tv blaring. If I tried to take the tv off, he would half-open his eyes and bark "I WAS LISTENING TO THAT!" Putting the kids to bed included the art of lowering the volume of the tv in small increments, so that he wouldn't notice.

There is so much more to quality parenting than feeding, dressing and cleaning our little ones. I can only guess how you did it in less than 8 hours a day. And neither of mine ever slept throughout the night. I only asked my husband once, to get up in the middle of the night for our first born (I was exhausted from sleep deprivation). He was so rough, angry and loud at our tiny baby, that I never , ever asked him again.
 ValentinoScaramanga
Joined: 11/6/2008
Msg: 178
MEN DON'T GET MARRIED IN ORDER TO NOT HAVE SEX
Posted: 11/17/2008 7:54:58 AM
Although this particular union sounds like an unholy matrimony which I certainly hope comes to a disastrous end on account of them both sounding like spoilt little children, marriage isn't another form of prostitution and the word 'wife' doesn't mean 'whore'

Of course he isn't entitled to sex when he wants it or when he says so, not unless of course he's a rapist or has absolutely no respect for women whatsoever.

What, is this guy Captain Caveman??? 'I want sex, woman!!! you give me sex!!! I make fire, you give sex or me get mad!!! me get real mad!!! me want sex NOW!!!' how on earth is that supposed to work???

It's no bloody wonder they're cheating on eachother.
 kittenhere
Joined: 10/22/2008
Msg: 179
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MEN DON'T GET MARRIED IN ORDER TO NOT HAVE SEX
Posted: 11/17/2008 10:37:53 AM
I'll tell you, some of these posts above exemplify the reason why men cheat

No, its not a reason to cheat........its a reason to divorce. there is no excuse for cheating.
 diamondgirl2727
Joined: 2/25/2008
Msg: 180
MEN DON'T GET MARRIED IN ORDER TO NOT HAVE SEX
Posted: 11/17/2008 2:13:27 PM
wondering why if she is cheating on him and not giving it to him then why doesnt he just go for the divorce? Obviously she is just not into him anymore.
 Larissan04
Joined: 4/28/2004
Msg: 181
MEN DON'T GET MARRIED IN ORDER TO NOT HAVE SEX
Posted: 11/21/2008 10:19:00 PM
of course marriage doesn't mean that the guy can just DEMAND sex whenever he wants... on the other hand... if you loved someone and they came to you and said, "honey, i really need to have sex with you... we haven't had sex in two weeks...etc".. wouldn't you put down whatever it was you were doing and go...do it? if not, why wouldn't you?

how many times do we do things for others when we dont neccessarily want to? there are so many times i do things for friends even when i don't neccessarily want to, but that is what being a friend is sometimes. how many times have you picked a friend up from the airport? or gone out to pick them up at 2am when thier car breaks down on the road somewhere? how many times have you gone out of your way for someone that you cared about? i have done plenty of nice things for my friends, and they have been there for me...that's what friends are for... surely, this same attitude should translate to a spouse or significant other in many ways...and in the bedroom too...

i think if one wants to maintain a happy healthy relationship there has to be some give and take... if the guy wants to have sex twice a day, and the woman once a week...well, there is obviously a sexual incompatibility there... but surely people can work out some compromise and meet somewhere in the middle...

i am not blaming the woman here outright... because honeslty we dont knwo the whole story... but so many women have this negative attitude about sex... if they dont feel like it at that moment they aren't going to do it as if theyare holding the sexual purse strings so to speak... it's a great way to create a lot of resentment...

it takes two to create a relationship... and sex is part of that...

lar
 *~Shar~*
Joined: 11/1/2008
Msg: 182
MEN DON'T GET MARRIED IN ORDER TO NOT HAVE SEX
Posted: 11/29/2008 9:56:12 AM
"medical reason my butt......what it boils down to is that some women think that thing between their legs is a negotiation tool , the pot of gold.. its ok when you are dating and romancing to have sex any time any where....but get married and its ok buster its 9 pm its friday so its time to let you have a peek.....

and women wonder why men cheat on them.........hell some have pictures of the dogs on this site instead of pictures of their family what does that tell you about them "

In response to Ron1025:
Some MEN use the "medical reason" not to have sex and they wonder why the woman cheat on them or move on. I have been with one of those men, too.
Obviously people do not negoiate the "sex" when they are dating & romancing which is a VERY important part to a relationship on a whole. If you are not compatible in this area the relationship is not going to fly....period. That is one area of conversation (and pardon the pun-"practice") that does not escape my agenda for a relationship.
Sorry men...you don't have an edge on this one! maybe with females, but not women.

The bottom line is:
Woman need to feel emotionally close in order to have sex with a man.
Men need to have sex to be feel emotionally close to a woman.

It's just the way it works. When humans realize that we will be better off and happier.
End of conversation.
 RagingManhood
Joined: 10/27/2008
Msg: 183
MEN DON'T GET MARRIED IN ORDER TO NOT HAVE SEX
Posted: 11/29/2008 12:46:26 PM
It seems this thread is boiling down to a somewhat alarming concensus: "Why get married?" Surprisingly (at least to me), the women seem to be voicing that as much as the men.

Is marriage doomed?
 bugaboo75
Joined: 1/5/2008
Msg: 184
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MEN DON'T GET MARRIED IN ORDER TO NOT HAVE SEX
Posted: 11/29/2008 1:08:53 PM
OK HERE IS MY OPINION.....

ok for all you men out there just so you know from a WOMAN"S PERSPECTIVE(someone who was married for 11yrs together for 15)

I agree sex ISN"T a tool to be used to get things but IT IS a give and take relationship issue.
How many men out there agree that if they want "head" or a"quickie"they should be able to get it or are even entitled to it????? Well for those men here is what I have to say.....

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU GOT ON YOUR KNEES AND JUST PLEASURED A WOMAN WITHOUT ASKING FOR SOMETHING IN RETURN??????

I believe that if you ain't getting it you DON'T have the right to go and get it somewhere else. A relationship changes whether your married or even just living together. Woman hold alot of responsibility that men don't see I AM NOT SAYING that men don't have responsibility but women seem to try and take on the whole world and different(even if they are little) forms of stress can cause a woman not to feel OBLIGED to fulfill these duties that you EXPECT

REMEMBER THIS IS MY OPINION OF 15YRS IN A RELATIONSHIP
 godfahduh
Joined: 11/19/2008
Msg: 185
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MEN DON'T GET MARRIED IN ORDER TO NOT HAVE SEX
Posted: 11/29/2008 2:23:56 PM

Sex is an expression of love. In fact, it is the expression of love that can only be shared between the spouses. I'm not saying that is the only way a spouse can express love. I am saying, people can give and receive love in many ways, and in relationships outside of marriage . . i.e. friends, family, etc. But the only form of love that friends, family, etc. cannot provide is sex. That is reserved for the spouse. That is the one form of love that they can share together and know that only they will share that together.

I don't know a single man who is being deprived of sex by his wife who has not addressed this with his wife. They do it in all forms. They try to be subtle and caress her and be tender in the morning, or at night. And nothing. They outright tell her they really would like to have sex. And nothing. They ask for it. And nothing. They suggest that maybe it's a mental thing and perhaps a doctor visit would help - - and that never goes over well.

The women I know who actually had a physical problem. It bothered them. It bothered them that they were in pain when they had sex and could not make it a pleasureable experience with their husbands. So, they went to the friggin' doctor and fixed it.

These wives aren't stupid. They know they are upsetting their husbands by withholding sex. Perhaps it is they who should open up and explain why. Perhaps when their husbands try to broach the subject with them or initiate sex, they should do something other than: roll over and flinch; tell them "they're not in the mood;" give them the silent treatment; make them feel like they are a nuisance in their bed. Basically all of the things that ultimately push someone further away.

The men I know are not barbaric rapists. And, were they good lovers pre-marriage and then just turned into crappy lovers overnight? I doubt it. How hard do they have to try to get a little nookie from their spouses? And then, when she finally "gives in" - do you really think it's satisfying for the man to get "pity-sex" from his own wife?

If these women feel as if their husbands just want to "use their bodies" for their own physical gratification - have they considered that pre-marriage, sometimes they did have sex purely for physical reasons, and other times it was more emotional? Now, when they're only getting it once a month, or whatever, and they're doing it with a resistant partner who doesn't even act like she wants to be there . . how emotional and passionate is it really going to be?

Once married, sex is the one thing you can share with your spouse, and your spouse alone. Why would someone not want to share that? And if you say it's because he doesn't dust enough and do the dishes - well, I think that's ridiculous.


Best. Reply. Ever.
 flowerforce
Joined: 9/6/2006
Msg: 186
MEN DON'T GET MARRIED IN ORDER TO NOT HAVE SEX
Posted: 11/29/2008 4:46:23 PM
People are not etitiled to have sex whenever they want it with their partner. Sexuality is a sacred connection and is part of marriage or a deeply careing relationship and it is about love. If he was willing to marry a woman because he gets a blow job then it is buyer be ware as far as I am concerned. I also believe there are a lot of women who think they can use sex to trap and hold a man. That is not fair in my book. I believre the vows are "with my body I the worship" Sex is just a small part of relating so if he is only there for regular and wild sex then he should have looked further than his****
Relating is a lot more than having sex on a regular basis. Perhaps he needs to look at how he treats his woman. The "I need sex and you have to give it to me because you are my wife" went the way of the Do -do bird. He also needs to grow up and learn what it takes to be a good husband. I love good sex. Emphasis on Good. For me that takes a deep emotionally intmate connection with a lot of time and attention. Not Honey I need to F*** and you have to give it to me because you are my wife. That is a sure way of me telling to any man go and jirk off.
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