| Why cant we have a poke button????
Posted: 4/25/2008 9:51:45 AM | Hope you all don't mind me chiming in!! I like the wink idea so feel obligated to speak hehe.
So, let me guess, you've never had your messages Unread/Delete. If someone doesn't like your picture or what's in your profile, they may decide not to read your message. I would suspect even if your message gets read, the person doesn't necessarily sit there and read it. I wouldn't be surprised if there are some people who open messages with no other reason than appearing to read it.
Hahaha, For a while my messages were being unread delete and they were not even looking at my profile. I think, I sent out 50 well thought out messages and all were the latter. Thats why I think the wink would be a great idea. After sending say 50 messages and only recieve a reply to maybe 5 of them, it gets a little agrevating. Thats why I think most people just send a quick hello...so there time isn't wasted. Which people complain about.
Would you be allowed to poke someone if you don't meet their email restrictions?
The criteria would still be followed so I dont see an issue there. If the person doesn't meet the restrictions you can't poke them.
How much time would you have to spend seeing who all poked you?
The way I see it:
1. you see a bunch of pictures like the My matches link.
2. Next to each of the photos is a checkbox.
3. Click all that your interested in to wink back or delete.
4. On the Wink page would contain Select all, delete selected, Wink back., etc..
What if I poked you 3 or 4 times a day?
1. Like yahoo, you are only allowed to poke once if you meet their crazy restrictions.
2. I would love to have a list of all people I have contacted so I don't waste time emailing them again. Haha, always funny when I am contacted by the same person months later.
How much time would you have to spend seeing who all poked you?
1. The setup I have mentioned earlier would take less time sifting through 300 emails.
2. All you see is there pictures like the My Matches. Takes me all of 5 seconds to see. Then again, My matches never change for me so i always have to search--argh!
Would it be the same as blocking someone by email?
If someone is blocked then they will not be able to wink or email. In the database, all you do is check to make sure the person hasn't blocked you. Depends on POFs DB setup. still easy!
Probably the main reason to not have this semi-useless feature is something called feature-creep. It's where something otherwise simple and easy to use becomes cluttered with features. I've eliminated and blocked most applications on facebook as it is. Unlike other sites I've been on, PoF is very simple and straightforward.
Facebook wasn't so bad until they released their source code and all these annoying applications started appearing. Always liked m.y.s.p.a.c.e. better. As long as the implementation is well thought out there should be no problems.
To be honest, a lot of the things on this site are not straight forward. Friends on here that are new always can't figure things out.
If you think about it you sort of have one... it is called the favorites list. If you add someone to your favorites they are going to see that you added them and I would think they would realize there is some interest there. If they are interested back then they may email you. If not then they will either ignore the add or remove themselves from your favorites.
I use the favorites as the wink option as well. I even had to put a clause in my profile because women were asking me why i added them with out persmission. Haha, people are so quick to get wierded out over silly matters.
1. The problem is I can add someone and they may never know. Maybe if there is the word new by the pic or something to alert the user. A lot of users have 100+ favorites so after a while everyone looks the same.
Because if you're too lazy to say anything, why are you here in the first place? this site is full of mutes as it is, don't give them more reasons.
heres a novel idea, if you are interested in someone SAY SOMETHING!!!!!
I would add Brad pitt complex too. Haha, you don't look like him your deleted. Most people don't want to say anything because they might think the message will be deleted any way so whats the point. I feel that way sometimes. | |
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| Why cant we have a poke button????
Posted: 4/25/2008 10:34:55 AM | I think we should have cattle prods and nuclear powered suction tubes. And cruise missiles launched from an anonymous site in Brazil and pheromones that can be transmitted via the internet.
But I may be being silly. IMO having a poke button is a waste of time. People send them to 50 at a time and they're completely valueless. I've had them on other sites and never replied. | |
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| Why cant we have a poke button????
Posted: 4/25/2008 10:41:29 AM |
...and they were not even looking at my profile.
FYI....under mail settings there is a feature that lets you have the option of letting others know if you have viewed them...or not...
After sending say 50 messages and only receive a reply to maybe 5 of them...
But if one turns out to be THE ONE...it would have all been worth it! | |
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| Why cant we have a poke button????
Posted: 4/25/2008 10:55:59 AM |
...and they were not even looking at my profile.
FYI....under mail settings there is a feature that lets you have the option of letting others know if you have viewed them...or not...
After sending say 50 messages and only receive a reply to maybe 5 of them...
But if one turns out to be THE ONE...it would have all been worth it!
Thanks haha, I saw that option after I posted. Wish it stood out more.
I agree, gives me the drive to keep sending messages. | |
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| Why cant we have a poke button????
Posted: 4/25/2008 11:12:21 AM | OPie, I certainly never ridiculed you or put you down, and I am very sorry you took me that way. Please believe me, I wrote about the value of the wink and not your value. I'm ashamed that I wasn't more clear.
I asked this question to get at the problem with poking people:
If I want to talk to you, then it's my responsibility to introduce myself to you and start talking. If I walked up behind you, "poked" you, and then stood there waiting for you to introduce yourself and start the conversation, just exactly how delighted would you be? And what would you say?
You never replied to that, except to say
Not everyone is good at starting conversation out of nothing.
May I suggest to you that this is a skill set that anyone, everyone can benefit from every day? I don't care whether they put another clickable in the Pond or not. But I do encourage you to learn to break the ice with people, the only way anybody learns it, which is to try and try again.
In fact, the very idea that one has to be "good" at starting conversation is destructive and wrong. There is no standard to achieve. "Hi, I like your haircut," is as good as anything else. I wonder, since you say you're not good at it, if, in fact, your nerve fails when you want to meet someone, and you fall silent. I know what that's like, very well. If that's it at all, then I would encourage you to go ahead, even when you're anxious, and say a few words. Believe me, it will get easier in no time. To be good at it, all you have to do is do it.
Best (really!)
Vulf  | |
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| Why cant we have a poke button????
Posted: 4/25/2008 11:51:01 AM | My question would be "Why have a poke button?".
-Does it take much time to write a quick couple of lines to someone based on their profile (who wants to read a 500 word essay as a first message?)
-Check who has viewed your profile (they have seen a picture/possibly read your profile in EXACTLY the same way someone sending a poke would do
-People can add to favourites and get attention there (just as annoying to some people as being poked by strangers)
-Why encourage wordless clicking? If you want somewhere where you are just clicking to say if you like someone, just go to www.hotornot.com and click away the hours
It just seems to be a feature for the sake of having one. It will give the people who send mass emails another weapon, stop or discourage people from actually thinking about what to say and make it all a very silly place to be in the pond.
PS You can filter out people you have contacted from your search results. Click; Search > My City and then select "users I've not contacted" from the drop down box | |
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| Why cant we have a poke button????
Posted: 4/25/2008 12:59:53 PM |
Adding someone as a favorite is pretty useless when that person has 300 other admirers and the number is always changing. At some point they dont even notice anymore because it's not like they are notified every time somoeone adds them.
Yeah that is true. Those people won't notice. But I've found that any site that has a wink button, it tends to get ignored. Meaning women will just get 200 winks a day instead of getting 200 messages. So they just learn to ignore them. That's my problem with it. | |
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| Why cant we have a poke button????
Posted: 4/25/2008 2:51:11 PM | A poke button would be just another feature we'd have to learn to master. We already have to learn to be master baiters. I think we have plenty of tools at our disposal to get another's attention. I think we have a good mix.
This thread has given me the idea to create a "trout slap" email. A somewhat generic email that basically says, "Hey, I saw your profile and/or photo. Wanna check me out? Email? Chat? Pay my rent? Have my babies? Etc.?" (Please check one or all that apply.)
So between learning to be master baiters, casting trout slap emails and sifting through the hundreds of women on my favorites list trying to figure out why I tagged 'em in the first place (lives within casting/striking distance & have interesting profile and/or possible possibilities; interesting profile, might want to copy it sometime; crazy profile, gotta love it and come back to see if it gets even crazier; interesting profile but too far but don't want to forgit 'em just in case I win the lottery tonite and can buy that heliochoper I've been dreaming about; etc., etc.), I think we have what we need. Probably most of us need to focus on becoming better master baiters though so we get more trout slap emails cast our way.
I imagine running this fantastic site such that it is free for us to use is like running a country. To quote Lao Tzu (translated of course)... "Governing a large country is like frying a small fish. You spoil it with too much poking." Simple seems to work very well here. It is one of the things I appreciate most about PoF. We already have the tools necessary to connect. Adding a "poke" feature might just be poking too much.
Now, has anyone noticed this thread is not in the right category? | |
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| Why cant we have a poke button????
Posted: 4/26/2008 4:32:52 PM | personally i think it would be the death of me if there was a poke button on here lol.
its such a bore on facebook, oh! look.... someones throwing a snowball at me or poking me. Yay! what fun....
But thats just me and there is nothing a message wouldnt suffice on here. The people that just write, 'ow r you' or if there was a poke button they probably havnt got anything to say, so better off not talking to them anyway.
though the op's idea is pretty good i just dont think it would be used that way and the girls will end up with pages upon pages of spam mail just saying, 'such and such' has poked you.
Actually it is a good idea
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| Why cant we have a poke button????
Posted: 4/27/2008 7:21:33 AM | | We're sort of faced with a no-win situation here- a lot of people feel that just a "poke" is de-personalizing, while many feel it would save time. How about we all just compromise- if a guy likes you he can send a message that reads "POKE!", and if the young lady in question doesn't like it she can respond "GET LOST! HAHA!"... | |
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| Why cant we have a poke button????
Posted: 4/27/2008 9:22:43 AM | | wink or poke can be just as annoying as the person who dont get the hint and keeps bothering you ..... further to me I dunno I am not a teen on a dating site . I am a grown adult wanting to get to KNOW people therefore I expect some thought and brains into a message from a man and something showing me he had some thought into wanting to contacting me not just a HEY ill poke this bish and see if she responds back . | |
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| Why cant we have a poke button????
Posted: 4/27/2008 9:57:08 AM | hmm well,having sent quite a few emails only to have 'em read deleted,i have to say i'm in favor of a poke or a wink,if the interest is shared,then a poke or a wink back indicates enough interest to try to figure out an email that might hit their interest,biggest problem i find is the the women with the two or three line ,non descriptive profile and no interests listed,how the heck are ya supposed to come up with a topic to converse about? and i notice there are a lot of folks griping in the forums about a lack of contact or interest and yet you look at their profile and theres nothing to go one or the famous"I never know what to say on these things",so ladies
if you expect well thought out and intelligent emails i would suggest composing your profiles accordingly. | |
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| Why cant we have a poke button????
Posted: 4/27/2008 10:54:35 AM | I for one dont see the point in a wink or poke - what is the point - if they are not interested enough to write you a message, it is pure lazy to poke or wink.
How do you reply to a wink or a poke?
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Edit:
OMG so it seems I am wrong then, others think it is a good idea. It will be the same a people without pictures for me, if they wink or poke they will be ignored, shows that they are already showing contempt for you - and making you do all the running, nah giving this a miss.
And on facebook (c), it is annoying someone pokes you and has nothing to say, quite well shows them up as twits, different if the poke you and have something to say, I never respond to pokes on facebook (c) so would not on here. Waste of time.
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EpisodeIV: Men already copy and paste messages to women, geesh don't you men realize us women are friends on here and on msn, of course when someone sends out a block e-mail, we all get it and laugh at it. Sorry Men who do it? | |
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| Why cant we have a poke button????
Posted: 4/27/2008 11:05:58 AM | great a button showing a guy or girl is to lazy to come up with somethingin their head to introduce themselves .. now will get a button which is ........
YO bish i kinda like you BUZZ BUZZ POKE POKE | |
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| Why cant we have a poke button????
Posted: 4/27/2008 11:31:15 AM | How about a DOME button? It would deliver the sender's pic with a capitol dome on top of it. A nice, jokey way to say "HI! DOME?"
Oops. That should read, "HI! Do me?"
Some of the pay sites tease and encourage their free and lazy members by providing an assortment of Hallmark-style greetings and come-ons to be used as winks. (Although never my favorite: "If I said you had a beautiful profile, would you turn toward me?") So, over there, the tongue tied can feel clever at least once. Here, you're on your own, almost like a grown up, and I like that better.
Cheers!
Vulf | |
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| Why cant we have a poke button????
Posted: 4/27/2008 1:09:00 PM | outofthedesert, "I agree"...A (maybe button)...A (No way) button...A (For Sure) button...and a (Your Way Too Twisted) button...   ....I still like the taser button... | |
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| Why cant we have a poke button????
Posted: 4/27/2008 1:12:16 PM | | now a taser button hmm even better idea jolt some folks out of their ivory towers and la-la land ok i'm for it | |
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| Why cant we have a poke button????
Posted: 4/27/2008 1:48:26 PM | The idea of sending "pokes" and "superpokes" immediately conjures up images of (1) young school children annoying each other-- or--(2) very pleasurable adult behaviors which I will leave to your imagination.
Forget pokes. Facebook pokes are very dorky, but mainly, they are done by friends to friends. "Winks" on other paid dating sites are, IMO, completely useless and a waste of time. I am relieved they don't have them here.
I'd vote for "scratch and sniff" though. Maybe POF could institute the "feature of the month"? Scratch and sniff month, taze month...(yeah, kinda kiddish, but still..) The thing is to mix it up.
Ps--this thread is misplaced, I do think? I predict it will be canned, although it is a valid topic for discussion. It should be in POF Suggestions category. | |
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| Why cant we have a poke button????
Posted: 4/27/2008 1:58:13 PM | Personally, if I were "poked" or "winked" at, I would think it is a lame attempt to make contact and ignore it... much like I would a cat whistle when passing immature guys out in public.
If you have something to say, have the courage to take a risk and send an email.
If you prefer being passive, just sit there and wait for someone to come to you.
But it is cowardly to pass the buck and say "I'm interested... do something about it" to someone else. | |
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| Why cant we have a poke button????
Posted: 4/27/2008 2:29:29 PM | How about a flashing,singing,popup? Let's get with the high tech here. Maybe even have a personalized poem: I'd like to poke you
Or give you a wink
You are truly cute
And I just can't think!... | |
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| Why cant we have a poke button????
Posted: 4/30/2008 3:09:58 AM | | Racer, I am afraid my 'you're way too twisted' would reach over load. I could have used the taser button the other night, I sent a short email to man on here, thought it was a cute intro, received a very NASTY response. ZAP!!!!!!!!! | |
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