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| She has AIDs and is on POF. Is this the end of dating ?
Posted: 4/26/2008 3:12:08 PM | Wow ! serenityCW & curvynpretty
You are really going off from the post ! But very very interesting points ! me think's
We are all individuals with differant idears and points of view.
For myself, I belive that if you love some one then that "love" transends thing's like Aids, HIV, cancer etc ! ...but then "love" means differant things to differant people .. this is deep ! and not really for this post ..maybe some one should make a new post on that ??? | |
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| She has AIDs and is on POF. Is this the end of dating ?
Posted: 4/26/2008 3:58:56 PM |
Been chatting to a woman for a few weeks now in the UK.
She dropped a bombshell tonight and told me she has AIDS.
My confidence in dating has now gone completely out of the window.
I am thinking now it is time to give up on sex before I seriously get caught out.
Jeebus Xmas OP, when you see your own shadow do you also run back into the house screaming like a little girl at the top of your lungs that the sky is falling? So one woman you chatted with had the courage to admit to having an STD, big whupity doo! You are ready to call it quits because of that? She apparently has considerably more courage than you mate. All I can say is "grow some" for pete's sake.
While granted, those small minded amongst us might consider throwing the baby out with the bath water, and cut this woman off at the knees because of her honesty, but that said, while everyone might not be a romantic match, there is a lot to be said for making friends too. So why for the love of all that is holy are you playing at being Chicken Little? Do you not see how insanely stupid you are being? Yeah there might be cause to be taken a back, but not all the way back to the stone ages.
Do you honestly believe that because you conversed with one person with an STD on PoF hat every woman on PoF has an STD as well? Do you honestly believe by having contact with this woman you have exponentially increased your risk to contract an STD yourself? Is there any potential for a logical supposition based on the facts at hand as you have provided them? I would certainly hope not. So in summation all I can advise once more is "grow some" and get over it already.
Have fun ;)! | |
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| She has AIDs and is on POF. Is this the end of dating ?
Posted: 4/26/2008 4:48:27 PM | | 697989, one of the posts above says there is such a thread. but if there is not, feel free to coyy and paste. i assumed this was in keeping, if not with the original question, the responses. i also was thinking of the "victim" of the revelation, as i'm sure she'd be interested also. i''ll be sure to post on it, if you so venture! but dam-n-ed if i know the answer. i "guess" to find that kind of love, is worth anything and everything. fact is, that many with HIV who marrry a non HIV person whom they meet after the infection, are probably pretty lucky to have that true kind of love. dontcha think? i know there are ways around it, but it's the stigma that gives so many problems. that assumes the person is accessible to today's modern medicine-- that so many third world countries do not have access to , or at least the whole of it. | |
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| She has AIDs and is on POF. Is this the end of dating ?
Posted: 4/26/2008 5:35:52 PM | I think you are Blessed that you found someone who is not only honest, but courageous. How many people here on POF can say they found that? Why is it we all go to such negative extremes about everything? it's really sad. This poor womans live has been turned upside down and could really use a friend. So she reached out and everyone acts like she's has bubonic plague. She's harmless behind her monitor isn't she? Has there been a case of transmission across an internet connection? Relax People... It's his choice to be a "friend" or politely bow out and suggest she join a support group or dating site for others with HIV. Everything happens for a reason...remember that... Whats your fate?
Peace,
Bill | |
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| She has AIDS and is on POF. Is this the end of dating ?
Posted: 4/26/2008 5:59:58 PM | I only skimmed the responses, so forgive me if another sharp eye caught this at the top?
(And, by the way, isn't it funny how often we skip reading what everyone else has contributed and just put our own in? When will we figure out we're going to be skipped just as often? Let's see, shall we? Everyone who reads this, put the word boo someplace in your next post here.)
OPie says the woman told him she has AIDS. I mean, people do, but this anonymous woman doesn't have AIDS because she says so. AIDS is the aggressive and debilitating failure of the immune system we're all properly afraid of. HIV infection comes long before AIDS develops. Those infected are said (and diagnosed) to be HIV positive, unless and until they develop the AID Syndrome. So, unless she is fighting the deadly, active phase, she would say she's "HIV positive." That's what her doctors would have told her, guaranteed.
So, why would she say she has AIDS, if my doubts are correct? One possibility is that she hasn't really had a diagnosis and so doesn't know what a doctor would say. Maybe she got annoyed with OPie or something and said it to discourage his interest, something like farting in an elevator.
Or, maybe OPie misunderstood her or made her up, for whatever reason. He doesn't even claim a diagnosis, so he wouldn't necessarily know what a doctor would have told her. It might not have crossed his mind that someone fighting AIDS itself is rather less likely to be active on a dating site. If I made her up, anyway, I'd say she said she was HIV positive, because it's far more plausible.
I only wonder if OPie made her up because of his misplaced outrage. He wants to say someone who is ill doesn't belong here, doesn't have a right to be here. He wants to call cooties. Which is, of course, nuts.
Why, I still carry that pesky flesh-eating bacteria in my bowel, and any contact with my person will infect and kill you in a matter of days! (I built up an immunity as a poolboy at a Sandals, years ago.) But I'm here in the pond! Yet, everybody is perfectly safe, so long as I stay inside my plastic bubble. So there's no reason whatever for any concern, is there?
Of course, if I were arranging to meet a fish, I'd be obliged to mention the flesh-eating and death and my bubble. It's the only honorable thing to do. But that's what "she" did, isn't it? The only honorable thing.
So, even if she is, and even if she does, OPie has nothing whatever to complain about. It's a free site, open to anyone with any purpose they have in mind. Anyone with an illness or a disability or an awkward past or a criminal record or even a Republican relative has as much right to be here as anyone else. For that matter, OPie has the very same right to be here as she does, even if he made her up. Hell, even if she made him up, and is fvcking with us all.
Boo!
Vulf  | |
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| She has AIDS and is on POF. Is this the end of dating ?
Posted: 4/26/2008 6:10:01 PM |
So, why would she say she has AIDS, if my doubts are correct?
Maybe because AIDS was something easier for him to understand rather than HIV+. Maybe she wanted to be clear that she has the virus which causes AIDS. | |
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| She has AIDs and is on POF. Is this the end of dating ?
Posted: 4/26/2008 6:39:57 PM | Harrabyman, we live in a world where most do not care about those they date. It is just like fast food: eat and throw it away. Her telling you what she did means you could never view her as that.
What if we could only date someone who we had to marry? Had to stay with? That the next person we had sex with would be the last person we would ever do so with?
In a world where for me I can't even get a date, I would absolutely be willing to date and stay with a man who not only had the courtesy of being honest and telling me this, but if I felt he was crazy in love with me, totally devoted, yes....I'd date him and have sex with him. People in my family and some friends have contracted things even terminal things, but I didn't stop or alter my relationship with them.
Yup, we live in a world nowadays where it is all about selfishness and only thinking about YOURSELF. How will things affect YOU? And with one very small exception the world is about anything but yourself.
And OP, what if she didn't have any positive blood results and didn't know her status yet and you two hit it off and got involved. And a few years later her testing showed up positive. Would you dump her then?
For love, Real Love, I'd do anything. It is so rare, at least in my life. If he's in a wheelchair, HIV+, is 5'2" who really cares? If he thinks I'm the most amazing woman in the world and he's 100% single (no kids) that's good enough for me.
But I've got different standards. Not better, just different. I know several people with terminal illnesses, are attached to I.V. tubes in hospitals, etc. For me the issue is about love, not health.
Since you haven't met yet, don't know what to tell you. I guess you should follow the advice of most of the other posters of being self-centered, selfish, putting your own needs first, right?
Yep, wait for the perfect girl. Perfect health. Perfect teeth. Perfect body. Perfect life.
I used to work in the medical field in an area I took tremendous risks of winding up with some sort of chronic condition that might do me in. Did I care? No, I thought first about helping others in a dire state.
Maybe you should start your own website where every female has to undergo a medical test and post their DNA, blood results, medical history publicly, the girls' parents medical history, congenital heart disease chance, family relatives' diseases and illnesses, average age of death in the girl's family among her relatives, yeah go for it.
Just push aside the poor girl's character.
Nothing personal, but she deserves better than you. | |
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| She has AIDs and is on POF. Is this the end of dating ?
Posted: 4/26/2008 9:08:16 PM | | Out of millions of people, ONE tells you she has AIDS, so you've lost confidence in dating? I'm not quite understanding how this is so bad...she was honest with you. If she'd led you on and dated you and slept with you, THEN I could understand. | |
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| She has AIDs and is on POF. Is this the end of dating ?
Posted: 4/27/2008 3:47:20 AM | | atleast she told you, there are hundreds if not thousands of people out there that have one sort of std or another but do not yet know about it or they just don't give a damn, and if your the lucky one to get to meet this person, you may go home with something you wish you never even heard of. | |
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| She has AIDs and is on POF. Is this the end of dating ?
Posted: 4/27/2008 1:12:24 PM | I don't understand how chatting with someone who might or might not have Aids could spell the end of someone's dating career?
I've chatted with many people who later ended up "revealing" things about themselves that made them undatable *to me* - on
the other hand, I'm sure I've "revealed" stuff about myself that made me undatable to *them*...hm...isn't that the whole point of chatting in the first place?
And I have to admit that I'd be hurt to see someone whom I thought was a chatting buddy or a friend start a thread to expose what I confided in them privately.
On second thoughts, I think I'd be more disappointed than hurt. Disappointed in myself mainly for having made such a gross error
in judging the character of someone I thought was a "friend". Just my thoughts and opinions - to each their own.
(boo:)
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| She has AIDs and is on POF. Is this the end of dating ?
Posted: 4/27/2008 2:32:43 PM | | OP - I'm sure there's plenty of folks with AIDS, STD's, and the likes, floating out there on any dating site. Always live by the philosophy "no glove, no love". Choose your partners carefully. Think with the big head, not the little head. | |
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| She has AIDs and is on POF. Is this the end of dating ?
Posted: 4/27/2008 3:55:45 PM | first of all i hafta say that peterc looks kinda like ted nugent..  ..
ok now back 2 the query.. at least she was being honest w/u.. would suck tho if she hadn`t & u 2 got together & then ut oh..  .. | |
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| She has AIDs and is on POF. Is this the end of dating ?
Posted: 4/27/2008 11:40:44 PM | I know a young woman on another dating site. She is the drama queen of the world. When she wants to "test" a guy, she tells him she is HIV positive or has AIDS. Heck, I don't think she's even had a cold in 5 yrs.
Surprisingly, quite a number of men have entered into her little soap opera. I always feel really sorry for them. It usually takes a few months before they figure it out. In the meantime, she gets a lot of pampering and coddling. | |
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| She has AIDs and is on POF. Is this the end of dating ?
Posted: 4/28/2008 2:52:43 AM | Whether the OP, or the girl is fool of crap, this is still a good point that many avoid. First of all the national institute of health came out with their latest statistics that 25% of teens have an STD in the U.S. and among African Americans its 45%.
Never before have people been so wreckless with sex. If you look at the female profiles many are very young with children. In fact a 24 year old with 4 kids from 3 men emailed me tonight saying she wanted stability in her life. mmm I can't believe people still have unprotected sex.
People forget, when you sleep with someone, you are being exposed to EVERY partner that person has ever been with, along with all their partners. AIDS is on the rise again and STD's are very much on the rise and the numbers are scary.
You have to be EXTREMELY careful. When you get serious with someone, testing isnt' a bad idea. I know in the girls gone wild generation we live in its not cool, but sleeping around can cost more than a heartache. | |
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| She has AIDs and is on POF. Is this the end of dating ?
Posted: 4/28/2008 3:23:22 AM |
People forget, when you sleep with someone, you are being exposed to EVERY partner that person has ever been with, along with all their partners.
Actually, this is not really true, but it sure does make for a great sound bite, don't it.
When you sleep with someone, you're exposed to every disease they cought from every partner they've been with. Except those that they've already fought off. Really not as scary sounding when examined realistically.
However, despite the fact that the rhetoric annoys me, the advice is still good. A little caution can go a long way. | |
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| She has AIDs and is on POF. Is this the end of dating ?
Posted: 4/28/2008 4:37:46 AM | ^^^^LOL, RawHeadRex. That's all I'm gwon say on that. 
Actually, as I was a reporter and had cause to research the statistics as I was working on a story, so please allow me to share what I learned.
Tragically, African-American women between the ages of 18-34 are the fastest-growing demographic to contract HIV, the disease which causes the AIDS virus because of a phenomenon, known as, The Down Low, where SOs including and, especially, HUSBANDS have unprotected, homosexual sex and then go home and have the same with their g/fs or wives to prove to themselves are really not gay. That statistic was, and is, researched by the US Center for Disease Control and Prevention, circa 2005 or so. CDC updates on the subject indicate the number continues to thrive.
The statistic about one in every four is actually: One in every four teen girls has some form of Sexually Transmitted Disease, again, as was reported and announced by the CDC last month.
This would indicate most teens are NOT having protected sex. If they did they would be protected against transmission, thus, the diseases wouldn't have spread to one in every four girls. Having safe sex, protects you from being exposed to every one of your partner's previous lovers. This is considering the partner doesn't have gnorrhea of the mouth or the simple form of Herpes. If condoms didn't protect at the rate of 98-percent, then the transmission rates of STDs would, in fact be much greater.
Just food for thought. | |
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