| She has AIDS and is on POF. Is this the end of dating ?
Posted: 4/29/2008 11:30:57 AM | OP, I am very sorry to hear this. I am also sorry for this lady who is infected. I still would maybe say that you can be friends, but thats as far as it should go.
I must be honest, this is one of the things that deep down in the back of my head I fear, and I pray that none of us come across this. This is one thing that is very good to know as soon as you can.
As for her being on POF, I don't know what I can say, other then she may be looking for friends or something? She has the right to be on here, but she also has to tell others about her situation, and I think it took alot of courage from her to tell you this and I would be thankful to her that she told you in time.
This is something that is never easy to hear. One of the first things I would be thinking is how I could help them and that I wish I could. It's a very difficult situation to be in.
I hope you find someone who will love you because you deserve it. You sound like a great guy. Also, as I said earlier, you can try to still be friends with this lady, you can't help but feel sorry and want to atleast help in some way. | |
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| She has AIDS and is on POF. Is this the end of dating ?
Posted: 4/29/2008 2:15:38 PM | Personally I am not sorry for the OP in this situation.
I think the woman in question had an obligation and she stepped up to the plate and informed the OP straight forward, and should be commended for her actions.
Just because she has AIDS does not mean she should not be happy with someone. Yes of course the potential for the disease to end the relationship pre-maturely is definitely almost a certainty, however is she supposed to be alone the rest of her life because of a disease? I would feel absolutely horrible if she found and read this forum, and saw the mockery made of such a devastating disease.
I think for her to get close enough to you to tell you about her condition tells you about the interest level she had with you,,,,and you turn this around and make it like she should not be on here... thats simply amazing.
What happens if the OP finds out that he had this disease or cancer or any other disease in a few years, and it was transmitted due to innocent means should he end dating life, and decide to remain solo because he contracted this? Should we ban people who are sick from being happy?
It is called education, and every scenario has something to learn from. How about take this experience as a learning situation to say... hey I should get to know people better before sleeping with them...or maybe I should understand all the facts of the disease, rather than only seeing a person who has it as "Someone with Aids". She probably has a ton to offer the right person.
Obviously if you had any sort of interest in this person, it was for the right reasons. Obviously this is a HUGE variable in the relationship because this is definitely not a light topic to consider, but don't act like she should be chastised. She is a human and deserves to be treated as one. If you chose not to date her because she has aids, then so be it, but to make an issue in a public forum in such an immature nature, considering your talking about a woman who is very sick, and probably thinks about the fact that she probably wont be around in a few years, on a regular basis. Show some compassion....and take other peoples feelings into consideration. | |
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jcrown
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Joined: 4/26/2008
Msg: 103 | |
| She has AIDs and is on POF. Is this the end of dating ?
Posted: 4/29/2008 4:19:08 PM | She has just as much right to be on here as long as she's honest and it sounds to me like she is.
She told you the truth, which had to take an immense amount of courage. I seriously doubt she intended to let anything get physical without telling you, which is why she told you (because you were heading towards a possible meeting). I wish everyone with or without AIDs was that honest.
Put it this way, 3 out of 5 people have herpes, really. Now, think of how many people you've dated and/or slept with and do the math. Did any of them ever tell you they had herpes? Do you really beleive none of them had it? Like I said, I'd rather have someone tell me and allow me to make the decision whether to continue the relationship or not.
As long as they're honest they have every right to be dating online or in the "real world". | |
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| She has AIDs and is on POF. Is this the end of dating ?
Posted: 5/20/2008 10:53:47 AM | | I heard someone say that you could get std's from talking to someone. Is that true? It doesn't sound true. She was honest with you, and that is good. That's a very painful STD. I know you must feel confused and hurt for her that she has this. I hope it all works out for the best. | |
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| She has AIDs and is on POF. Is this the end of dating ?
Posted: 5/22/2008 4:52:58 PM | | Its understandable that you found it quite shocking from that realisation. But now you are in a better position to not only think about that particular instance, but to also think about HIV in general. Basically, things were going fine, but it appears that suddenly, everything changed-its not her that's the problem but what she has!!-HIV.I applaud you for throwing this into the threads,but i applaud her even more for telling you the TRUTH. Its sad however to see some comments that go along the lines of "stay away from that one". First, everyone with such views should really address their HIV fears in an educated way rather than damning a fellow human being who didn't ask to catch that infection. While i don't intend to mask the possible dangers HIV presents both socially and healthwise, its sad that when it comes to sexually transmitted pathogens, people will have more to talk in their own privacy-yet its a taboo topic in any other social setting outside the web! Would you have posted anything here if she told you she had a flu,cold,? Would you have posted if there's a cure for HIV? Ofcause i fear catching HIV-so many people catch it through blood transfusions, spouse infidelity,condom breakage,carelessness, etc... but i bet you anything,that that decent woman that chose to disclose her status to you fears transmitting it even MORE-because she knows the realities of living with it-which you dont,and she doesn't want to pass on that burden to you. | |
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| Chronic Prostatitis
Posted: 7/3/2008 6:10:55 AM | | I have worked in a Urology office and the doc always recommended, seriously, frequent intercourse and/or masturbation to help with the prostatitis symptoms. As far as urethritis, well that is another story altogether I suppose..... | |
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| She has AIDs and is on POF. Is this the end of dating ?
Posted: 7/3/2008 1:11:03 PM | I just found this attached to a profile of a girl I was about to write to but I wont have time now because I felt I had to write something about this matter instead.
First things first, you are an arsehole for starting a forum on this because she knows you're talking about her. If you gave a shit about her you wouldn't have written this in the first place. You could have discussed any issues privately with a friend, as to not cause her undue hurt. It would not have been easy for her to tell you. As far as I know I have nothing and I would have no issues about dating someone with HIV. You say this girl has Aids, which means she probably wont have long to live, I'm not up to date on treatment but as far as I know once the HIV becomes Aids there is no turning back, so it was very kind of you to be like this to her.
I don't know who you are talking about but the chance is she deserves better than you.
Pick your game up!!!!
If the lady this thread is referring to is reading this thread. Good on you for having the guts to be honest. Had you told me you had Aids, it wouldn't have changed a thing. | |
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| She has AIDs and is on POF. Is this the end of dating ?
Posted: 7/4/2008 9:33:54 AM | | OP..if you like her..i dont see why you need to stop talking to her and be a friend! a lot of you people on here and in general are ignorant to STD's and dont know a lot about them..some of you probably think that by touching someone with AIDS will make you catch it or something..like I said if you like her dont just abandon her.. | |
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| She has AIDs and is on POF. Is this the end of dating ?
Posted: 7/4/2008 12:37:54 PM | | It takes a lot of courage to reveal something like that -- this girl probably knew that if you weren't the right guy, you would bolt; if you were the right guy, you'd at least try to be her friend. Ignorance shouldn't be an excuse to whether you continue seeing this lady or not. *** shocking I know, but we are all human -- even those afflicted with HIV and AIDS. | |
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| She has AIDs and is on POF. Is this the end of dating ?
Posted: 7/4/2008 12:43:53 PM | | I actually knew a girl on P.O.F who has sister who is H.I.V positive and had a profile on this site....the police caught her and last I heard she was headed to jail for possible attempt murder if she infected anyone.....so the moral of the story boys and girls is always use protection you never know....just scary. | |
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| She has AIDs and is on POF. Is this the end of dating ?
Posted: 7/4/2008 12:52:23 PM | No point in becoming a hermit.
Anyone you meet anywhere can have an STD -- even full-blown AIDs. If you are lucky, 1) they know already, 2) they will be honest with you.
Practice safe sex. Don't exchange bodily fluids. Have a talk with your doctor. Ignorance is not bliss.
Be safe!
Garden Artist | |
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| She has AIDs and is on POF. Is this the end of dating ?
Posted: 7/4/2008 1:47:15 PM | | i think it took sheer guts for her to tell you that.. dont you think she knew in herself once she told you that would be it for you 2 relationship wise but however think she couls still use a bloody good mate right now and thats proberly what she thought you would be. | |
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| She has AIDs and is on POF. Is this the end of dating ?
Posted: 7/4/2008 1:55:28 PM | It may not be the end of dating, but it would be the ending of dating me. Sorry if I don't share the high moral ground of most of you, but the way she contracted the disease is not important. The important thing is that she has it, and it won' t leave.
Yes, she may be a great girl, and may become a magnificent friend. But that's all. No touching, no kissing, no sex, never mind how protected. Ever.
To say "you're ignorant" to those who avoid dating HIV+ people is stupid. What if you're wrong? When you say "HIV is not transmitted through ... ", you're actually saying "there is no PROOF yet that HIV is transmitted that way". Guess what? If you want to become that proof, it's your own business. Don't criticize those who don't.
"The risk is very small" is not the same as "there is no risk". You don't criticize people for not playing Russian Roulette. Why then you criticize those who don't want to become exposed, never mind how slight the chance, to acquire a deadly disease?
Yes, there is HIV+ people living healthy, productive lives. How do they do it? By taking a drugs cocktail, by spending a lot of money, and still, their life expectancy is a lot shorter. Do you really expect people will willingly take years out of their lifespan, submit themselves to an uncomfortable (to say at least) treatment, and to expose themselves to the same suffering that the HIV+ person is bearing, just for "luuuuuv" or to prove themselves as "not ignorant" to a bunch of strangers?
Will they feel bad? Well, of course they will. And it's a pity. But: do they have the right to expect others to risk their lives just to prevent them from feeling bad? I don't think so. | |
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| She has AIDs and is on POF. Is this the end of dating ?
Posted: 7/4/2008 2:19:14 PM | | don;t be silly; at least she told you and just because she has AIDS does make her abad person; and you stil can have safe sex;you do you know how she got it ;so always give someone the benifit ;and don;t let it put you off; their;s worse things in life so get your chin up and get on with it; good luck. ronnie J | |
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| She has AIDs and is on POF. Is this the end of dating ?
Posted: 7/4/2008 2:40:02 PM | | At least she told you. She is a good and honest person. The hard part is how many are out there that dont tell anyone. Those are the ones that are mad at someone else and are taking it out on others. All you can really do is keep dating and be careful. If you feel you need to ask them to get all the tests of std,s out there and show you the real doctor,s report. There is no point in hiding just be safe. | |
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| She has AIDs and is on POF. Is this the end of dating ?
Posted: 7/4/2008 3:03:54 PM | Damn people educate yourselves. She was honest which is great. You don't need to act like a scaredy cat or something. READ up on it from various sources. Most people overreact because they are completely ignorant on the topic. Get educated then decide. It's not the end of the world or her world or yours. So quit acting like she has leprosy and you live in medieval Europe! Geez.  | |
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