| She has AIDs and is on POF. Is this the end of dating ?
Posted: 7/4/2008 3:03:54 PM | Damn people educate yourselves. She was honest which is great. You don't need to act like a scaredy cat or something. READ up on it from various sources. Most people overreact because they are completely ignorant on the topic. Get educated then decide. It's not the end of the world or her world or yours. So quit acting like she has leprosy and you live in medieval Europe! Geez.  | |
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| She has AIDs and is on POF. Is this the end of dating ?
Posted: 7/4/2008 3:35:55 PM |
People with HIV and AIDS have enough to worry about in the road ahead of them without having to deal with ignorance as well!!
Thank you ~rain~ 
~OT~ She was honest. Let's not forget, millions of people are infected and don't even know it. You risk your life if you have or have had unprotected sex once in your lifetime. Plenty of people forge healthy, happy and successful relationships after diagnosis. Some with partners in the same situation, some with un-infected parties. It's a very personal thing to open admit to having a disease of any nature ~ add ignorance and lack of education and you have the very reason HIV/Aids has spread so rampantly. Much like Hep, Herpes and multitudes of other STDs. Wow, I can't believe so many are still so fearful of that which they have made no effort to understand.  | |
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| She has AIDs and is on POF. Is this the end of dating ?
Posted: 7/12/2008 8:08:47 PM | Ah but verygreeneyez didn't you know that ignorance is bliss?
I'm not disagreeing with you, oh no, quite to the contrary I agree with every word you said. You're absolutely right, most people carrying the HIV virus don't know they're carrying it. People don't think about that. They get freaked out because this girl actually told the guy she was positive before they had sex. What people should be freaked out about is that he'd have dangerous sex with her in the first place, positive diagnosis or not. Did I say dangerous and not unprotected? Hmm.... if you play Russian Roulette you're not playing an unprotected game, you're playing a dangerous game. Let's stop playing the semantic game and see so-called 'unprotected' sex for what it is: suicide.
Make no mistake, you can protect yourself from just about every STD including HIV without abstinence (please, heh... be real); it just takes common sense but you aren't protecting yourself by asking your partner if they have it or not: be real, most don't know they're carrying it (you can infect others before you test positive, by the way) and those that do usually lie about it.
Just like herpes, just like warts, just like hepatitis and syphilis and every other nasty little disease we walk around with.
It cracks me up, it really does, to watch the fearful reaction of people when you tell them you have HIV. Anyone that understands the disease knows how not to get it or communicate it, but everyone is afraid of it because they don't understand it, and they run away.
And they think they're running to safety, but they're running to ignorance, because as long as their next partner tells them they're clean, they're happy to dive right into the disease pool and take their chances. I figure eventually HIV is going to kill just about everyone, but it isn't going to be because it was spread by people who told their partners they had it and who took adequate precaution.
It's ironic that this girl's honesty will probably push people away from her that could be protected into the beds of those that are infected anyway.
Like I said, ignorance is bliss. | |
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| She has AIDs and is on POF. Is this the end of dating ?
Posted: 7/12/2008 8:35:41 PM | Damn. Am I glad that I don’t have sex or what? Hahaha.
Maybe there are new developments but the last I heard:
It can take up to 1 year, possibly 3 years, to even medically detect HIV.
If you have had sex in the past year, you could have HIV and not know it.
You can get HIV from someone that doesn’t know that they have it.
You can give HIV to someone and not know it.
And that is if you get tested regularly. But come’on, how many people really take the time to get checked?
I read that 1 in 300 people in North America have HIV. Ok, How many people on POF have HIV? How man people that have posted here have HIV?
How many people here know for sure that they do not have HIV?
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| She has AIDs and is on POF. Is this the end of dating ?
Posted: 7/12/2008 10:05:02 PM | To the original poster...
Well, considering I want to have a family and kids one day, the idea of being with someone who has a disease is a scary thought. I'd feel extremely guilty helping to bring someone into the world who, from day one, will be a ticking time bomb, so I'd be hesitant to stay in the situation.
The horrible thing is, it seems wrong to just be like "Sorry, it won't work out because you have a disease" because... it just seems wrong to be so judgmental. But yet you have to think of your own future and what you want, not just what they want, so it's logical to say "No", as well.
It's a hard decision. And I think the answer to what is "right" is going to be different for every person. | |
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| She has AIDs and is on POF. Is this the end of dating ?
Posted: 7/13/2008 8:38:57 AM |
I think if she is on POF - - I don't know, I can't believe that she would be happy to see that you posted this - even if nobody knows who she is . . . that was a very personal thing for her to tell you.
K-lo very well said~
Some very unfair and judgmental views floating around here, so she has aids? so what? at least she was upfront about it - do you honestly beleive this is a first? I can think of half a dozen people suffering from one thing or another on this site, some being upfront, some waiting.
If its a serious concern for you, you can filter people with any sort of std through the mail settings....
And if trusting people to be honest is an issue...then lol...hate to break it to you, sometimes your just going to have to. | |
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| She has AIDs and is on POF. Is this the end of dating ?
Posted: 7/27/2008 5:10:10 PM | The OP is gone, but they said something in their last post that needs correction:
Well, considering I want to have a family and kids one day, the idea of being with someone who has a disease is a scary thought. I'd feel extremely guilty helping to bring someone into the world who, from day one, will be a ticking time bomb, so I'd be hesitant to stay in the situation.
I'm HIV positive. I try to stay as informed about my illness as I possibly can.
My understanding is that with the medications currently available it is possible for two HIV positive parents to have a healthy, uninfected child. It has something to do with reducing the viral load in the mother to near zero, I think. All I'm saying is that if you think you can't have a clean child with an HIV positive partner, that belief might not have a basis in medical reality. It might be wrong. I'm pretty sure it's wrong. A doctor could tell you the answer. And the current life span of someone who seeks early treatment is now 70 plus years.
That doesn't in any way mitigate what an awful virus HIV is or what it does to your body, but people with HIV aren't necessarily looking at death sentences, they just aren't going to live past eighty or ninety like they're not supposed to anyway.
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| She has AIDs and is on POF. Is this the end of dating ?
Posted: 7/28/2008 11:27:48 AM | "My confidence in dating has now gone completely out of the window.
I am thinking now it is time to give up on sex before I seriously get caught out."
While the revelation is shocking, if you really think about it, it should *reinforce* your confidence in dating.
Why?
Well she's being totally honest with you... and sometimes, the truth is hard... really hard.
She could have easily lied and put you at risk.
Should someone be punished for telling the truth? Most people say "No" with their words and say "Yes" with their actions.
I'm not saying that you should go have sex with her. But I am saying that it isn't fair to her for you to just cut her off completely for being honest. | |
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